by Jaide Fox
It irritated her, though, that he refused even to allow her to speak to her father. Her father certainly had no reason to trust him, or to believe any message she might send by him. If she could see him face to face, speak with him, and he could see that she was content with the way things had turned out, then he would be reasonable. He had only wanted to see her settled with a man that she could admire and respect, a man who was strong and brave and capable. She knew her father despised the man beasts in a general way, but she felt that he was not unreasonable in his dislike. If he would only take the time to get to know Talin, he would see that Talin had far more virtues than faults.
He had taken her captive and she had been both furious and frightened by that, but she had come to realize that most of that was because she had expected him to behave as most men did--without any consideration for her. Not only had he not assaulted her as she had expected, he had gone out of his way to see to her comfort and well being, nearly getting himself killed in the raid to bring her her most valued possessions.
Talin was right. She had not simply given in to the inevitable. She had welcomed him and felt right in the giving of herself to him.
He wasn’t angry, she realized abruptly. He was hurt. He had taken the time to coax her to come to him willingly and she had refused to admit it--because it made her feel better about herself if she refused to acknowledge how quickly she had fallen under his spell.
Did yielding to him so quickly make her less than she should have been though? A woman of weak morals and mind? Or was it a case of instinctively recognizing that Talin had all of the qualities any woman could wish for in a husband and accepting that she was not likely to find a better mate?
She had been primed to search for a mate when he had come into her life. In truth, she had been over primed. She had been waiting anxiously for her father to settle her since her sixteenth birthday. If she had been anyone else, even the daughter of an aristocrat, she would probably have been settled already.
She frowned at that thought, wondering if she had simply been ‘ripe for the plucking’ and that had made her easy prey. After a little thought, though, she dismissed that. She had been courted most assiduously, and she had not felt at any time that she was in danger of losing control of her desires. She could not think of one man, in point of fact, that had stirred even her interest in that way.
Would it be best, she wondered, to try to soothe the injury she had inadvertently inflicted when Talin returned? Or better to go and find him and try to explain?
She was not going to ask her ladies for any more advice, she decided, eyeing them with disfavor when they returned at last to clean up the mess she and Talin had made in his suite.
“It did not work,” she said to Lady Beatrice, climbing from the bed and moving to the tub to bathe off quickly before she dressed.
Lady Beatrice’s brows rose. “I thought not. I heard him bellowing, though I must say the walls are very thick here. I did not catch the meat of the conversation.”
“Perhaps you should try putting your ear to the door next time?” Aliya snapped irritably.
Lady Beatrice reddened. “I had not thought of that, your grace.”
Aliya sent her a disbelieving glance, but decided not to pursue it. “I think he is concerned that I would betray his trust and stay with my father if he allowed me to go to speak with him. He refused to consider it.”
Beatrice and Leesa exchanged a look. Aliya caught it, but she couldn’t entirely interpret it. “If your father offered you sanctuary, you would consider it, though?”
Aliya frowned. “What do you mean ‘if’?”
The maids exchanged another look. “She did not mean if he did,” Leesa said firmly. “She was only asking if you would consider it … if you had the chance.”
Aliya stared at Leesa for several moments before she turned to study Beatrice. “You mean lie to Talin? Give him my word that I would only be going to try to negotiate peace and then betray him and stay with my father?”
“You are a captive! You owe him no loyalty!”
“I am his concubine!”
Beatrice gaped at her.
“A devil’s concubine!” Lady Leesa spat in disgust. “He has dishonored you!”
“Do not dare to speak of him that way!” Aliya said furiously. “In the eyes of King Talin, and his people, he has placed me in a respectable position as his wife--not his queen and I can not say that I am happy with all of their customs--but he treats me with respect and so do his people. It is not a disgrace and I will not behave as if I feel any shame!”
“He tricked you! You told us that!” Lady Leesa exclaimed.
Aliya stared at her with a mixture of embarrassment and anger. “Do not be a fool or behave as if I am one! The truth is that, whether he did it on purpose or not, he was kind enough to give me an excuse to do what I wanted to do and still save face! If I had not wanted to, no trick he could have devised would have ensnared me. If it had not mattered to me whether he lived or died, I would not have wanted to offer him the comfort he asked for!
“He deceived me, yes, and I am still angry because I felt so foolish when I realized my mistake, but I can not lay all the blame for that at his door. I was not thinking clearly because I was so upset. I know who and what he is--a man beast--and yet I behaved as if he were just the same as we are--because to me he is.
“Poor man. It is sad, really, that he was willing to endure so much only to have me fuss over him.” She thought back over it for several moments and bit her lip, and then a snort of amusement escaped her and she burst out laughing. “You should have seen his face when I asked him if he wanted more gruel,” she gasped weakly after several moments, mopping the tears from her eyes.
Lady Beatrice stared at her as if she had grown two heads. “King Andor was right. The fear has turned your mind!”
Aliya’s amusement vanished abruptly. “Posh! I am not afraid of Talin. I do not think I ever was. If I had not been so terrified of flying through the air I think I would have been far more thrilled than frightened when he captured me so daringly and snatched me right from under father’s nose. It was … romantic.”
“Romantic!” Lady Leesa gasped. “You have been listening to far too many bard’s tales! Was it not romantic enough to suit you to have the rulers of so many kingdoms vying for your hand in combat?”
Aliya gave her a look. “That was politics and I do not find politics particularly romantic since it is all about lands and money and allies when there is war. To be sure, if it had not been Talin and instead was someone not nearly as handsome, brave, and sweet, I probably would not have thought it was romantic to be a captive bride, but it was Talin. And although I have given it a great deal of thought, I am not convinced I would have been as content with the man who won me by ‘right of might.’ At least four were either far too old to compete themselves, or infirm, and what if their champion had won the day?”
She shook her head at her ladies. “I was born to my station, but I am still a woman. I would have done my duty, but I would not have been content. I know father wanted to settle me well, and he is unhappy now, and angry. But I think if he saw that I am happy and well treated and respected he would not make war. That is all I wanted to do--speak to him and try to settle the dispute between Talin and my father peacefully.
“I could not leave Talin now if I wanted to. And I do not want to.”
Her ladies exchanged a glance. “You could not make peace by telling your father that. You have no idea how grieved and enraged he was when he discovered that you had been taken by one of the very devils he despises so much. The only thing that might appease your father is if you returned to him, begged for his forgiveness, and agreed to wed whomever he could negotiate a marriage with.”
Chapter Eighteen
Aliya merely stared at her two ladies, whom she had long thought of as friends, numb with shock as what they told her sank slowly into her mind and feeling as if she had never truly known any of the peo
ple she had cared for.
“It seems unfair, I know, when it was not your fault, but such is the way of the world. A woman must always take the blame. It is the woman who is defiled and then despised for it. And the unnaturals are so hated, it would almost have been better if he had been one of our own kind,” Lady Beatrice spoke earnestly. “There are those who would still be willing to wed you still--after a suitable time, of course, once it is seen that you do not carry the seed of these abominations.”
Aliya found she could not even catch her breath. Hurt and anger mingled so liberally inside of her she wasn’t certain which was uppermost, but she felt as if she had been battered physically, not just verbally. “You are saying my father...?” she asked faintly.
Lady Leesa took her cold hand. “He mourns you as one lost to him.”
“He would rather I was dead?” Aliya asked in disbelief.
“You are dead to him if you choose his enemies, for he has made an oath that he will not rest until he has cleansed the land of these creatures … and their kin.”
Aliya retreated into her own thoughts, hardly aware of her ladies as they helped her dress and then settled her on a bench and combed and arranged her hair. When they had finished, she dismissed them.
Once they had gone, she moved to the window that looked down upon the courtyard and stood peering down at the practice field, wondering if Talin was among his men. She did not see him.
The maids who had served her until Talin had raided her father’s palace to bring her own maids to her, came into the room to clean up. Moving away from the window, she settled in the chair near the hearth and watched them absently while their worked. “Is the king in the great hall?” she asked finally.
Both maids stopped and looked at her and then abruptly bobbed a curtsey. “He has left the castle, your grace,” the younger of the two volunteered.
Aliya managed a faint smile of apology. “I am sorry that I did not ask before--by what name are you known?”
The girl smiled back at her shyly, but somewhat nervously. “I am called Lilith.”
“How pretty! And you?”
The older girl blushed. “Maida.”
“You are certain that he left the palace, Lilith?”
“Aye, your grace. Talk is we are at war and he has gone to oversee the fortifications of his other holdings.”
Disappointment filled Aliya. “Then he is not likely to return for many days,” she said, more to herself than the maids, who merely shrugged uncomfortably.
It would almost have been better, she thought, if there had not been a very good reason why he had left, matters of state that required his attention, for then she would have had a better idea of whether she, or rather their argument, had had anything to do with his decision. As it was, she couldn’t begin to guess. To her, it seemed Talin was not the sort ever to delegate those things he considered of utmost importance. He preferred to ensure that all was done exactly as he wanted it done by overseeing it personally and not relying on reports and couriers and the like.
It was not the way her father did things, and she had thought it peculiar at first, but it seemed to her that Talin had no difficulty maintaining his authority despite that penchant. Moreover, it was patently clear that he was very dear to his people, that they felt a bond with him, even as their ruler, that her father did not with his own people.
How well, she wondered, had she really known her father?
It was true that he was tied up with affairs of state more often than not and spent little time with her beyond those occasions when they were together in formal settings, but she could not recall that he had ever lost his temper with her. He had always seemed so kind, so patient, even when she was a young child. He had not showered her with a great deal of affection. Physical displays of affection were so rare than she was almost as stunned as she was thrilled when he kissed her cheek or forehead, or patted her hand, but he had always been generous with his gifts. She could not even think of anything that she had wanted at any time that had not been promptly given.
Where had the cold, unfeeling, merciless man that her ladies described been hiding all this time?
Her mind simply could not seem to grasp that he had disowned her, and only because she had been taken captive by a man he considered his enemy and ‘soiled’ by that man’s touch? She was condemned and despised on assumptions?
It happened to be true, now, but she had a feeling that it would have been the same if she had been returned to him a maiden still.
The love she had always believed was hers, unconditionally, had vanished in a puff of smoke. She felt more lost and confused than hurt. She supposed the real pain would come later, once the shock had worn off, but she was having trouble even dealing with the shock.
Shaking off her thoughts as the maids finished and turned to go, she addressed them again. “Do you know who did the shutters?”
Lilith nodded. “The master carpenter, Silo by name.”
“Would you ask him to come to speak with me about the shutters?”
“Right away, your grace,” the girl said, bobbing a curtsey and scurrying from the room.
When the maids had left, she rose and moved to the door, moving along the hall until she reached the next room, where her ladies had been settled. Pushing the door open, she went in and examined it. It was about half the size of the room she had been sharing with Talin, but when she moved to the windows, she discovered that the only two the room boasted looked out over the courtyard. “I expect this room was intended to be the queen’s room, but I believe I would like to use it as a solar,” she announced to no one in particular. “The view is … more to my liking and the windows are facing south so they will catch light most of the day.”
She turned and studied Lady Leesa and Lady Beatrice for a moment. “You should gather your belongings and go to the housekeeper for other accommodations.”
A man who appeared around middle age appeared at the door, drawn to the room, she supposed, by the sound of voices. She saw that he was carrying a tablet of some sort, or a book with loose pages carefully tucked between the hard backing. “You sent for me, your grace?” he asked, bowing when she turned to acknowledge his presence.
Aliya beamed at him. “You are Silo? The master carpenter?”
He bowed again. “At your service, your grace.”
“I would like these shutters removed,” she said, gesturing toward the windows. “They have a very pleasant view and it is far too gloomy in the palace with all of the windows covered. I have decided to make this my solar, and will need the beds removed and replaced with some comfortable benches. Perhaps a day bed, as well--oh, and a comfortable chair for Talin in case he decides to join me here sometime.”
She glanced at her ladies. “When you speak to the housekeeper, have her send along the maids best at stitching. I will require pillows and cushions to add comfort.”
“And stools,” she added to Silo as she turned and headed out of the door.
He followed her, looking a little bewildered.
Pausing on the threshold, Aliya surveyed the room critically. “It is so gloomy in here. It must distress Talin! He was accustomed to the room being light and airy.” She glanced at Silo apologetically. “He knows I find the prospect from the windows very unnerving, for I am accustomed to plains, not mountains. But there are two windows that look out over the practice field and the wall. Those need not be shuttered at all, and I am thinking that, perhaps, you could shutter only the lower half of the other windows, for I am very short and would not have to face the intimidating view myself. And it would allow a good deal more light into the room.”
Silo surveyed her as if judging her height and moved to the windows she’d indicated. After studying them for several moments, he nodded. “We will have to take them down to cut them and move the hinges lower. Perhaps it would be best to begin with the solar? Then we can complete the work there and you would be comfortable while we worked in here.”
“A v
ery good suggestion,” Aliya agreed, smiling. “Do you think that you could have all of this done by the time the king returns?” she asked, wondering if the man might have some idea of how long Talin would be gone.
Silo frowned thoughtfully. “It would not take long to take down the shutters and remove the furnishings that are there--a few hours only. I have several new benches that I can show you. If you like them they would be a start on refurnishing the room. If it meets your approval, then we could start in here the following morning. The king has gone to check the defenses on his other holdings and most likely will not be back for at least two or three days.”
As disappointing as it was that he would be gone so long, it wasn’t nearly as bad as she had thought. “Wonderful! He will be pleased, don’t you think?” she asked hopefully.
Silo grinned. “I am sure of it, your grace.”
He had already begun to turn away to rush off when he frowned and turned back. “I had not had the chance to speak with the king about these plans I have been working on, but he said that it was for you and it seems it would be best to consult you about them anyway.”
Aliya stared at him in surprise when he opened the book he was carrying, glanced around and then moved to a table to spread out the drawings inside. Embarrassment flooded her when she saw her crude drawing on top of the stack, especially when she saw his neat, carefully drawn sketches beneath. “This has presented a challenge, your grace, a real challenge. The king brought this to me and said he knew that you missed your garden and he wanted to please you by building one here, but we are very high--very high and this is not good for plants because the nights are very cool, the winters long and spring very short. Added to that, you are naturally uncomfortable about being so high. But I believe I have come up with something that will work very well all the way around.