He leans forward and nods once towards the landline phone on my desk, which is pulled closer to him from its normal resting place. The red light blinks, meaning someone’s on hold. He presses the button, then clears his throat.
“Go ahead Chilly.”
“I think...yeah, I think we have a snitch,” Chilly’s gravelly voice crackles over the speaker.
My breath hitches, my heart taking a fast track to my stomach. Sven’s eyes remain downcast, like this is something he doesn’t want to believe but has no evidence to think otherwise.
“What?” I ask in disbelief, a cold wash of dread enveloping me.
“The deal we worked out the other day with The Steel Axes, and the third party buyer,” Sven begins. “Sent Chilly to check out the drop point and pick up, just to let us know of anything we might need to be aware of.”
Sven lifts a shoulder. This is normal practice, even when we use the same locations repeatedly for business, Chilly always goes ahead of time to check things out.
“Chilly went there several times and every time, there were black unmarked vehicles in the vicinity.”
I lean forward with my forearms flat on the table.
“Another crew?” I question.
“Not sure,” Chilly replies. “I wasn’t able to get a positive ID or legitimate confirmation on any details, and when I tried to trail them it was like they vanished. I got the sense they were trying to prepare for the day of the drop, where to hide, shit like that.”
“Someone from the Steele Axes?” I ask.
“No one in that crew knows the drop point,” Sven replies somberly.
We sit in silence. Did the Feds have another member under the same deal as me? I don’t even want to voice anything about law enforcement, because at this point it will only raise Sven’s suspicions. Chilly knows my guard is up with them since my phone call to him. But did he tell Sven of my suspicions?
“Who do we have that’s got a beef?” I ask.
“Hard to say.”
Sven runs an old weathered hand over his face, up over his slicked back hair.
“I mean, of course we always have prospects thinking they can find a better crew, since they get treated like shit. Drag still might be ticked about Dornan roughing him up, and being put on long distance runs lately. But he’s good people, I don’t think it’s him.”
“For sure the guys would’ve caught word if any of the prospects were talking shit, or not happy with the club,” I offer.
“I’ll talk with Dornan, see if he’s heard anything. I want to go to gathering as soon as everyone gets in.”
I nod and sit back. Fuck, this shit is just getting crazier by the minute. To me, this has to be the Feds, just the way the job was done over the phone, and the way they didn’t seem to negotiate the payment. Maybe they really did have someone else in the club who is snitching, but then why would Justice be needing me?
“The club will be alright if we push back this job?” Sven asks in reference to money.
“Yeah, we’re good,” I reassure.
“We need to be smart about this, keep your ears and eyes open.” Sven’s looking at me, his eyes piercing mine and I keep eye contact, not letting my nerves get the better of me.
“Pres, can I talk to you off speaker?” Chilly asks.
It feels like my mouth’s full of sand, I can’t actually swallow. I want to look away, but instead I watch Sven grab the receiver and press it against his ear. He’s looking down at his coffee cup, listening, when his eyes meet mine and narrow slightly. Holy fucking shit, he knows, he knows I’ve been asked to snitch. What am I going to say if he confronts me, tell him the truth? Deny everything? Finally, he nods and says, “I’ll get back to you after gathering.”
He sets the phone back into its cradle, his eyes remaining on me. “Have you heard from Brayden?” his tone and look softening.
The question stutters my brain for a second, not at all what I thought he was going to say. I shake my head, remembering the last time I saw him.
“No, not since...” I stop, swallowing down the sand finally.
Sven nods in understanding and as if he doesn’t want me to finish the sentence, both of us knowing the last time was when he attacked me.
“I hope you know that the club would never let him get to you, never. You don’t have to be scared or worried, he and his club can’t touch you.”
I know that Chilly’s told him my concerns, but they think it’s because I think Brayden’s after me. Okay, I guess that’s sort of how it is but, not that I think he will hurt me again. Brayden’s after something, I just don’t know what yet, it can’t possibly be revenge on me. Again, the feeling that Sven looks after me like a daughter, nudges the feelings of the situation with my mom back just a little further.
All I can do is give him a small smile, watching as he stands and appears more troubled now. Like he thought I’d have some insight or information to dismiss the idea of the snitch. The sinking guilty feeling ever present, is now lodged in my gut, I wait until moments after Sven closes my door and is far enough away before I begin to sob. The pressure eating at me, the guilt like a ball and chain around my neck, and I can’t keep it bottled up anymore.
After spending an hour or so in the bathroom, crying so hard I’d started throwing up. I finally make it back to my desk, resting my head in my hands. I’m on the verge of calling Justice to meet up, because I feel like I can’t do this one second longer. There’s a soft knock on my door and I know it’s Dornan, not even needing to look. Bagheera walks over to greet me, and begins whining at my disheveled state. Dornan’s rough fingers coax my hands away gently, as he pulls me up and into his arms, setting me on his lap as he takes over the chair. I inhale his scent and my breath hiccups as it’s still trying to calm after vomiting. As he runs his hands over my clammy skin, along my sweaty hairline, there’s concern in his voice when he asks, “Could you be pregnant?”
“No.”
I shake my head and want to ignore the flash of disappointment in his eyes. But it’s there, and the idea of having babies with him lightens my heart. Before that bitch reality comes back, and my hopes of that future is gone.
“Do you think this is something-a result from when Brayden assaulted you?”
The pain in his eyes at even mentioning the incident, spears me like a dagger. I fucking hate lying, but I can’t tell him, I just can’t.
“Maybe,” I whisper, resting my head in my hands as I close my eyes.
His arms wrap around me tighter as he begins to stand, “I’m taking you home.”
“No, we have gathering.”
“I don’t give a fuck, you can barely keep your head up.”
As if to prove him wrong, I raise my head and open my eyes, trying my best to get myself together.
“I’m fine.”
He shakes his head and looks away from me, and I take his face into my palms.
“I’m fine. I’ll go to gathering and then the doctor’s.”
He gives me a look like he doesn’t believe me, but I widen my eyes in assurance before he sighs.
“Promise me, after gathering you’ll go, okay?”
“Promise.”
We make our way over to the clubhouse, Dornan protectively walking with me with his arm around my shoulders. Entering the large room to see most everyone already sitting around the wood table, only members allowed to this meeting and no prospects. No one’s talking, as if they sense, like I had earlier in my office, that by Sven’s demeanor there’s something major going on. Dornan and I take our seats and Sven begins, telling everyone the details of Chilly’s surveillance and asking if anyone’s been getting bad vibes from the not present prospects. Following with a warning that if one of the snitches is us, that we won’t ever get to enjoy the deal that’s been offered to us in return for ratting out the club.
Of course all the brothers voice their opinions that it has to be Children of the Reaper, since we now have a beef with them, no one even brings up l
aw enforcement. My stomach’s in knots and all I want to do is be away from this place, I feel like I haven’t taken a deep breath since I arrived. Sven orders us to not tell anyone outside the room about what we’ve discussed, and for everyone to be on high alert. As soon as Sven says the meeting’s over, I’m the first out the door and on my way to the parking lot, when a hand wraps around my upper arm. It’s Smokey, seeing him surprises me, and I stop in the middle of the lot to turn and face him. The other members are all milling about the entryway to the clubhouse, smoking and talking, but no one seems to pay any mind to us. Dornan and Joey must still be inside, because they certainly would be eying the two of us.
“V,” his voice low. “Fuck, I don’t know how to say this.” His eyes scan around us nervously and I’ve never seen him looking this way before.
I feel my cellphone begin to buzz in my back pocket, but I ignore it.
“Yesterday when Dornan couldn’t get a hold of you, he sent me to find you running since I don’t know where you live. I caught up to you in the foothills, I was still kind of far back when I saw Milton stop you.”
Fuck. I close my eyes and exhale a long steady breath.
“I followed you. I saw that Justice guy leave the house after you, and I’m assuming he’s not a contractor.”
“Smokey,” my voice a plea.
His fingers wrap tighter around my bicep, not to hurt me to bring my attention to his words. My cellphone’s going off again, but it barely registers with what’s happening right now.
“You saved my ass at Durango, and I told you I owe you one. I’m not gonna say anything... for now.”
The breath I’ve been holding whooshes out.
“I know you V, I know you’re not gonna do something stupid and put the club in danger or whatever, but you have to tell Sven or...I don’t know. But I can’t keep this a secret for long, figure your shit out and tell him.”
“Everyone in the clubhouse!” someone yells from the doorway, and we both look to see guys quickly making their way back inside. Smokey lets my arm free, giving me a long look with raised brows.
“I will.”
Slowly I follow towards the clubhouse, my cellphone buzzing again and finally I reach for it, reading the display is a number I don’t recognize.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Maven, this is Officer Milton.”
I enter the club to see all the guys standing around the bar, looking up at the three flat screen TV’s and all I see is fire and firetrucks.
“There’s been a fire, the strip club and the new club you’re building,” Milton says.
Sure enough, I see both scenes of the fires flash on the screen. Our established club in flames, along with the construction site for the new club.
“Goddammit,” Dornan growls beside me. “Those fuckers are dead,” he adds.
I look up at him, his eyes narrow, jaw tight. He knows this is Children of the Reaper’s work, we all know it. The Feds wouldn’t do something like this.
“Justice wants to meet you somewhere,” Milton says.
I pull my cell down and end the call, slipping it into my pocket again. I steady my features, to not show how fucking insane my instinct to just blurt out the offer Justice has given me is. I need to meet with him,I need to give him what he wants. I want to know what happened with my mom,to my mom, and I’d hoped to be able to find answers before turning myself in. But I don’t want to deal with it if I’m being honest, not wanting to be told that my whole life’s been a fucking lie.
Dornan and Sven are now talking, and I know this is my time to go while everyone’s distracted. I need to sneak to my house, get Justice’s card and call him to meet me. Everyone’s talking in raised voices as I back towards the door, making sure no one notices me. Once I push through the doors, I bolt to my car. Making it to my house in record time, I rush over to the fireplace mantle where I put Justice’s card under a flower pot. My heart begins to pound harder than before, as my fingertips graze the small paper. I’m gulping in air and close my eyes trying to psych myself up, I can do this...Ihave to do this.
“Maven.”
The sound of my name startles me and I whirl around, bringing my hands behind my back to hide the card. Dornan stands in the entryway to the front room, breathing just as hard as I am.
“Jesus,” he lets out in a rush, walking to me and cupping my face. “Fuck, you can’t just disappear right after we find out the club’s burnt down...fuck,” he sighs again.
“I’m fine,” I whisper as the words catch in my throat.
He’s looking at me like he knows otherwise, and then I realize he’s noticed my hands behind my back. Slowly he steps away, running a hand through his short hair as he turns his back to me. I take a deep breath ready to confess all the shit that’s been going on, but he starts first.
“Is this about us? You’ve been acting fucking weird lately and I’m over pretending it’s nothing, and don’t tell me it’s nothing or the headaches because I can see some shit is bothering you.”
“Dornan-”
He shakes his head, a signal for me to stop talking as he turns to face me. I see the worry in his eyes and the difficulty he’s having at confronting me. How can he even question me about how I feel for him? Then it dawns on me that this is what I need him to think, it’ll be easier this way if he thinks I don’t want to be with him anymore.
“Don’t even fucking tell me some shit Maven, I can read you like a fucking book and I know you’re not feeling this. You haven’t put the patch I gave you on your cut, I’m the one making all these steps to make a future with you. So if that’s not what you want, then just fucking tell me that.”
The way he’s looking at me is shattering my heart and I just can’t bear to look at him and say it’s over between us. Slowly and with shaky hands, I bring my arms around to show him the business card. He glances at it, but I know he’s too far away to read what it says.
“The Feds want me to snitch out the club,” I state.
His eyes switch from anger to confusion, and I immediately know what he’s thinking.
“I’m not the snitch Sven’s talking about,” I rush out. “The contractor Justice is an agent, and they have my prints from Durango. I don’t know with all the chaos of Smokey getting shot, but...when we got back to the club my gloves were gone.” My voice trembling as the words tumble from my lips.
Dornan just stands there, looking at me, his expression one of shock. My stomach sinks and I’m not sure what to say or do. My fear that he’ll walk out right now and never look back is at the forefront. I almost want to die at the feeling of utter loss that will take over me if that happens. Isn’t this what I need to happen though? For him to be pissed and leave me, to not look back? Just as I’m about to speak, saying what I don’t know, he starts for me, his hands cupping my face hard.
“Give them me. Give them everything on me.”
The breath from my lungs comes out in a sob of relief that he’s touching me, and looking at me like I’ve never seen before. I close my eyes as the tears scorch my cheeks, the pain in my chest slowly easing. This man, this man is my everything and I can’t let him go.
“They don’t want us; they want all the MC’s. I think if I don’t give them anything, and they have to settle for me, that they’ll go after someone else. That it can be okay.”
As I’m rambling, he’s shaking his head and his grip tightens on my face.
“You can’t chance that; I won’t let you. You’re not going to prison. I’ll make it better.”
He rests his forehead against mine and we both close our eyes, exchanging breaths as my hands wrap around his wrists. The boy who said he’d never make me promises, is pledging to me that I won’t have to do what I know I need to. Deep in my heart I know he’s my partner in this, the relief of confessing my predicament, only allows the pain of what I’ve learned about my mom to slam into my heart.
“Do you know what happened to my mom?” I ask.
“Of
course Maven-”
“No,” I pull my face back to look at him. “Justice showed me a picture of her, dead, Warrior of the Gods carved into her skin...he said our dads killed her.”
“No, that can’t be. My parents talk about your mom like she was the best, my mom still talks about her all the time. Club business or not, she wouldn’t be cool with my dad having part in killing her best friend.”
“Dornan, what if they did? That means everything I know about her is a lie, she didn’t abandon me, they took her away.”
My voice raises and I feel the years of a life I thought I knew, begin to change into something I don’t like. A lifetime of being lied to, made to feel she was a stranger who walked away from me. When in reality she was taken away, that she loved me.
“Let’s talk to my dad,” Dornan states.
“I-how can we ask him without saying where I got this idea from all of a sudden?” I ask.
Dornan runs his hand down the side of my hair.
“Don’t worry about that. Trust me.”
And I do, I trust him with my life and always have, it’s time I really prove it.
“What if they did kill her, am I ready to hear that?” I ask somberly.
“I’ll be there; you won’t be alone in this.”
He takes my hand and fishes his cellphone from his pocket, pressing it against his ear.
“Dad, is Mom home? Can you meet me and Maven there right now?”
We get into his car as he ends the call, I try to buckle my seatbelt but my hands are shaking so badly that Dornan has to do it. We sit silently in the car, Dornan’s hand linking with mine. The fact that when I told him what I’m up against, what’s really going on, he’s all in, not letting me deal with this on my own. Feelings of overwhelming love and loyalty fill my heart and I want him to know, even if the words don’t compare to the expanse of how I feel.
Running with the Devil: Plantain Series Book One Page 18