by Rachel Jonas
Yawning, I set my phone aside after declining Kyle’s invitation to hang out. Before his text came through, I received nearly identical ones from Ben and Richie. Their shifts ended shortly before mine, so what they saw as an opportunity to blow off some steam, I saw as an opportunity to catch up on some much-needed sleep.
Burning the wick at both ends left me drained and not much fun to speak of. Struggling to balance my new guard duties and school had proven to be more difficult than expected. While it would have been nice for the Council to cut me some slack, maybe by allowing me to serve a couple days a week as opposed to five, I knew I was in no position to ask for favors.
They made sure I didn’t forget I was forever indebted to them, made sure I understood my mother’s status as a free woman could easily change.
The dark, uniform jacket I’d worn slipped off the back of the couch where I placed it, but I was too tired to even care. My body had functioned on auto-pilot all day, craving the moment I’d get to drop down onto the bed, or even the floor at this point. Deciding to forego dinner, I turned off the last light and touched a foot to the bottom step, intending to head up where I’d hibernate until morning.
But someone had other plans.
A brassy bell rang throughout the house, which meant it was likely my brothers hadn’t taken my rejection seriously. If I had to guess which of the three was currently standing outside on the front porch, I would’ve put money on Kyle.
However, when I pulled the door to, and stared at an innocent face framed in brown hair, a smile touched my lips.
Tired as I was.
Roz lifted a brown paper bag into the air, as if she needed a peace offering for stopping by so late. Meanwhile, I would’ve gladly dragged myself out of bed for her no matter the time.
“I come bearing food,” she grinned, crossing the threshold when I stepped aside.
“Thanks.”
I accepted the bag, wanting to just be grateful she thought enough of me to stop by, but more came out. A prompt eye roll let me know she was expecting as much.
“You really shouldn’t be out here so late on your own,” I added. “It’s not safe anymore.” I knew she hadn’t forgotten, but her actions made me think she may need a reminder.
She did a quick twirl, all while wearing a smile that made me worry she didn’t really grasp the seriousness of the situation.
“See? All in one piece,” she beamed. “Besides, it’s not like I walked over,” she reasoned.
My weight dropped down onto the cushion of one of four armchairs in the living room and I dug down into the bag while responding.
“Yeah, but to an army of mutts, you being in a vehicle only makes the challenge of attacking you more fun, but it wouldn’t stop them.”
And it wouldn’t. We witnessed firsthand how vicious these things were. If I was capable of stopping a moving truck, surely they could, too. Then, from there, they would tear the thing apart until there was nothing left but scraps.
A chill scurried down my spine at the thought of something like that happening to Roz, all because she wanted to stop by.
“I’ll escort you home,” I offered, biting into one of three burgers she brought me.
When she didn’t answer, I glanced up, meeting the self-conscious stare of a girl who was almost always fearless. The look made me pause after swallowing, unsure of what I missed.
Her shoulder touched the wall beside her when she leaned into it.
“Actually ...”
A thought danced on the tip of her tongue, but she still hadn’t quite found the way to say it from the looks of things.
“I thought I might just … stay? If that’s okay,” she revealed, wearing her heart on her sleeve in that vulnerable moment.
A moment where she didn’t care how apparent it was that I knew she wanted to be close.
A moment where I, too, reveled in the idea of having her here for the entire night.
We hadn’t had much time to spend together since finally owning our feelings. Between her father’s disapproval of whatever our friendship was transforming into, and my newly swamped schedule, there was little to no time to see each other. No time to just be Nick and Roz.
But … together.
I was suddenly less focused on the food in hand and more focused on her—how her dark hair cascaded over the shoulder of a leather jacket that fit her form like a glove; how tempted we’d been in the woods not too long ago. That night, she’d gotten away from me, but I wasn’t so sure she’d be so lucky tonight.
A distracted nod from me brought her smile out more. “I think that sounds like a good idea,” I replied, forcing myself not to expect anything other than her company.
But maybe secretly hoping for more.
“Good. Cool,” she said, sinking down into the seat across from me. I watched as she tucked both feet beneath her on the cushion.
As much as I looked forward to her staying, it wasn’t lost on me that her father, technically, still hated my guts. There was no way she told him the truth about where she’d be tonight, so I had to ask.
“Where does your dad think you ran off to?”
Her dark eyes danced up to meet mine, and she smiled. “I didn’t tell him,” she beamed, seemingly proud of this newfound freedom she carved out for herself.
If I had to guess, it was driving her father insane that he could no longer control her with a glare. I knew this because I’d seen the same look of frustration bleed through Richie’s expression every time I defied him as well.
But still, this was bigger than some random act of defiance. No, Officer Chadwick and I weren’t exactly on great terms, but as someone who’d put his parents through quite a bit lately, I didn’t want Roz to be guilty of the same.
She’d never accept me telling her what to do, so I left it alone for now.
“So,” she began, that one word so loaded, “… has it happened again?”
My ears perked at the question, taking a moment to understand fully. When I did, I set the half-eaten burger aside.
She was referring to the blackouts.
I shook my head. “Not since the one you know about.”
“If there had been another, would you really tell me?” There was curiosity behind her gaze, but not distrust.
I nodded. “I gave you my word.” Hopefully, she knew that meant something, wasn’t just an empty promise I made that night just to get her off my back.
Her gaze slipped from mine and I wondered what she was thinking when she focused on her hands, twiddling her fingers together as she seemed to daydream.
“What you said the other night, about me being the thing that stops you from having episodes … do you really believe that?”
This was another of those rare, vulnerable moments when she couldn’t hide from me, couldn’t keep it locked inside that she felt the pull toward me like I felt it toward her.
“I do,” I admitted, trying to pin down the words to explain. “The darkness is there. Always,” I clarified, “But I can see my way through it when you’re around. It’s like … something about you makes it so I’m able to fight harder; makes it so I’m able to just be … me.”
That was the easiest way to break it down. Mostly because I didn’t fully understand how it worked myself.
She was thoughtful for a bit, but then shared something she hadn’t before.
“These moments when I’m able to break rank, it feels like more than just … defiance,” was the word she settled on. An uncertain stare landed on me. “I feel more powerful than him. Like, I can sense his weakness. Like, if I wanted to, I could force him to submit.”
She blinked and I referenced my tie to Richie, noting I hadn’t quite felt what Roz had—so much power. While, yeah, I could break free from Richie and do my own thing, I hadn’t felt his weakness yet. I guessed it was coming, but to me, this meant Roz was progressing more quickly than I was. Soon, her father would become her beta.
A long, dragging sigh left her mouth and s
he raked a hand through her hair.
“But I don’t want to talk about that. It’s weird and only hints at even more change,” she shared. “And I don’t know about you, but I’d love for two freakin’ weeks to pass and things stay the same.”
A small smile broke free and I smiled back, agreeing with her wholeheartedly.
“How’s your mom?” she asked, leaning forward to pick up the half-eaten burger I set aside.
I shrugged and thought of the many different ways to answer that question.
“She’s … managing,” was the best I could do.
In truth, she was going stir-crazy, which was driving my dad crazy, but none of us made a huge fuss about it because we knew what the alternative was.
Imprisonment.
Exile.
Death.
“She’s trying on new hobbies to make time pass faster,” I grinned, thinking about the too-small hat she knitted Richie just last week.
“Any word on how long they intend to keep her on lockdown? I mean, I know she’s got it better than a lot of people, being afforded the luxury of serving her sentence at home, but … still. It must suck,” Roz concluded.
I nodded agreeing. It did suck.
“The Council has stayed pretty tight-lipped about it,” I sighed. “I’m guessing that’s strategic; their way of keeping me on a short leash.”
I hated that they still owned me, but … I brought all of this on myself.
Including the part where I screwed things up so bad that my mom thought the only feasible solution was to bring the Sovereign into this.
“If they did try something like that, couldn’t Evie just override them?”
My thoughts drifted back to the last meeting I had with the Council, how clear they made it that they only honored Evie’s wishes as a courtesy, stating that they were under no obligation to do so again. Not as long as she hadn’t, technically, been named queen.
So, to answer Roz’s question, I shook my head again, stating what I knew to be a fact. “No. Not this time.”
There was a solemn silence that weighed heavy on us both. I wondered if she was thinking the same thing I was—that I should have taken her advice and ran while I had the chance, while I wouldn’t have been punished for doing so.
I glanced down at the uniform I still wore—dark shirt, pants tucked into military-grade boots. No, I hadn’t signed a contract or pledged my allegiance.
But this clan, the Council, still owned me.
“You’re quiet,” she observed. “Work stuff?”
There was a lot going through my head, but ‘work’ stuff was definitely part of it. During my shift, something big had gone down. Something above my paygrade. From what I gathered, a few of the guards had smuggled someone into town tonight. I had no clue if this was something the Council arranged or not, but it crossed my mind that I should speak up. Then again, my failing reputation had damaged my credibility to the point that I was certain no one would have listened anyway.
So, I kept quiet, even when I caught a glimpse of a huge, cloaked creature wearing sackcloth over its head being hoisted from the bed of a truck. Kept quiet even when I caught a whiff of the foul smell it emitted.
My guess? A witch—and not one of the good ones.
Failing to see the point in worrying Roz with bits and pieces of a much larger story, I never answered her question. At the sight of me yawning, she didn’t press.
“You look exhausted.” She stood, stretching her hand toward me. I wasn’t sure what her plan was, but stood, anyway.
“Go up and change,” she suggested. “Then, meet me back here on the couch so the TV can watch us while we doze.”
I smiled and it amazed me how she did that. How she somehow made sitting up on the couch with her all night sound more appealing than spending the night in bed.
Then again, I guess it shouldn’t have been that big a surprise.
After all, I was no longer fighting the truth—that Roz was kind of it for me.
Chapter Ten
Liam
A strange turn of events took me from lying beside my mate, my weakness, to sitting in a crowded bar with a burly, southern dragon with an appetite for cheap beer and chicken wings.
Agreeing to leave the house for a bit tonight was the only way I managed to convince Evangeline to do the same. Only, she wouldn’t return until morning.
Dallas knocked back another mug, bringing his total to five. I, on the other hand, settled for water per his request. Apparently, Evangeline wasn’t the only one who noticed I hadn’t quite bounced back yet. A night of drinking and a hangover in the morning wouldn’t help the matter any.
I’d been here a few times before. Most notably, to meet Evangeline face-to-face again, for the first time in ages. We didn’t make it inside, but did collide just beyond the front entrance, in an alley off Handler Street. At the sight of me, she’d nearly taken off running, but after tonight, I was certain I’d completely changed her mind.
About me.
About us.
I lowered my head as thoughts crept in—thoughts of her in my bed, thoughts of my name seeping from between her lips in a whisper …
I smiled to myself. Despite the chaos that followed, the time we managed to steal, the time we managed to feel like a normal couple those two hours … it was incredible.
I zoned out to the sound of murmuring voices, clanking glasses, and low-playing country music. It wasn’t exactly how I wanted to spend the remainder of the evening, but my coming here was the only bargaining chip I had, the one thing I could do that finally swayed Evangeline to call Beth about crashing at her place.
I both loved and hated her stubbornness.
Another smile broke free as I scanned the crowd, thinking of her. The place was packed. With the town being so small, there was no need for more than a couple bars, but with the sudden shifter population boom, Dallas and I had been lucky to get a booth.
A plate of bones sat at the center of our table. He dropped another onto the pile and started in on the next.
“Lay it on me,” he prompted in between bites. His distinct drawl rose above the volume in the bar and I glanced his way.
“Not sure what you mean,” I said, sipping from my glass right after, wishing it was something stronger.
He lifted a brow, sucking the last morsel of meat from the wing. “Don’t give me that,” he rebutted. “Man-to-man, I can see it,” he reasoned. “All over your face. Something’s bugging you and you need to set it free ‘fore it eats you alive.”
I didn’t readily respond, which made him go on again.
“You won’t talk to Evie, because that’s your woman,” he broke down. “You won’t open up to Elise because she’s been distracted lately, and you don’t wanna feel like you’re bothering her. So, you’ve got me. And I’ll listen to whatever it is with no judgment. I’ll even cut you a deal; first time’s free,” he joked.
We hadn’t known one another long, and my trust in him was kind of grandfathered in, thanks to Elise, but I wasn’t itching to tell the guy my feelings.
“I can sit here all night,” he uttered, pausing mid-chew. When I still didn’t speak, he raised an eyebrow defiantly while glancing up, as if to say he wouldn’t take no for an answer.
I breathed deep and eyed the crowd, unnerved by the fact that I could no longer tell a supernatural from a human. Being like this made it impossible to know when, and from where, a threat was coming.
“I’m no good to her like this.”
It pained me to let those words leave my mouth, but they were the truth. Nearly biting a hole through my lip, I gazed around the room, at nothing in particular while I thought.
“She’s a nervous wreck all the time. She tries to hide it, because she’s used to being brave, but I know what she sees when she looks at me.”
Wiping sauce from his fingers, Dallas looked up. “And what’s that?”
“Weakness,” I answered, adding, “someone who’s gonna die on her one day.
Even if not by the hand of a supernatural—which is a very strong possibility—it’ll be something. Someday.”
I never feared death, but leaving Evangeline to grieve was one of the hardest things I ever had to imagine. When Sebastian captured me, the only thing that made laying down my life an easy decision was considering the alternative—which was losing her. My only comfort was knowing she had Elise to look after her. But still, there wasn’t a soul on this planet I trusted to put everything into taking care of her that I would. She had to survive.
With or without me.
Dallas sat back, shoving his plate aside. “Hmm … that’s interesting,” he stated. “I guess you and I have two totally different vantage points then.”
I didn’t reply.
“I won’t lie and say that girl isn’t probably scared out of her head, thinking you’re not as durable as you used to be, but if you ask what I think she sees when she looks at you … I’d say she sees a man who’d give up his life for her.” His brow quirked, and he smiled a bit. “Partly because that’s exactly what you did.”
My eyes drifted to the glass in my hand as I twisted it aimlessly across the tabletop.
“I haven’t known Evie or Elise as long as you,” he breathed, sipping from the fresh mug the waitress brought over. “But from what I can tell, you and me have ourselves two of the toughest women this side of heaven. You’ve gotta learn to rely on that strength a little bit, learn to trust she won’t shatter into pieces the second you turn your back.”
I heard him, but he hadn’t seen it before, hadn’t seen with his own eyes that Evangeline wasn’t indestructible.
“My purpose has always been to protect her,” I admitted. “Now that I can’t, I’m painfully aware of the fact that I’m more of a liability than an asset.”
Hilda had all but said it just a little while ago.
“Nah, man. That’s where you’re wrong,” Dallas reasoned. “Your assignment was to protect her. Your purpose … that’s only ever been to love her. And that has nothing to do with what you are.”
All sound left the room when I zoned out, thinking on his words. This body I was in, it was mine and yet, still felt foreign. The aches and pains of recovery were an everyday reminder of how finite this life was.