“What?” Tom shook his head in exasperation. “You mean you’ve made me come all the way here just to say that...and what were you doing bringing Ali to the pub?”
Lily stared at him defiantly. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Well...nothing really I suppose, it’s just...you know how Ned is about her. I wouldn’t want him to start a scene if he bumped into her here, that’s all.”
“We didn’t go into the pub,” she insisted. “I told you we just went to see the puppies. You said she could have one.”
“No I didn’t say that,” Tom corrected her. “I said I’d think about it.”
Lily smiled imploringly. “Pleeeease Tom, she’s so lonely.”
“And what makes you think that she’s lonely?”
“I can tell...you know, by the way she is. A puppy would take her mind off it.”
“Off what exactly?”
“Off everything I guess,” Lily said, splaying out her fingers. “Bobby...the accident...her husband.”
For a moment Tom hesitated, needing to know. “Does she talk to you about Bobby?” he asked.
“Sometimes... He was in love with her you know.”
Tom’s heart tightened. “And how do you know that?”
“He told me,” Lily said. “And he said that she didn’t love him back yet but he was working on it.”
Tom tweaked her nose. “Why is it Lil?” he asked. “That people always seem to talk to you?”
She looked at him wide-eyed. “Because I ask them. I asked Bobby if he loved Ali and I asked her if she loved him.”
“And what did she say?”
“That he was just her friend. Please give her the freckled puppy, Tom.”
“What...you mean now?”
“You could take it on your way home, as a surprise. They are eight weeks old after all and I’ve got puppy food and everything.”
Ten minutes later, wondering how he’d managed to get himself talked into agreeing to Lily’s plan, Tom headed back to Cove Cottages with the freckled pup in a fleece-lined bag in his arms and a bag of puppy food slung over his shoulder.
He saw Ali as he walked toward the row of cottages; she was standing right at the edge of the bay, so close to the water that it lapped over the toes of her boots. Her hands were thrust deep into the pockets of her bright blue duffle coat as she watched the tide come rushing in. A late seagull screamed overhead, a pale shape against the vast navy sky, and as he watched and waited uncertainly the full moon soared above them, turning the sea to silver. Ali turned and looked at him and in that moment she, too, was rimed with silver, like a magical ethereal being.
He walked toward her, holding her gaze with his, “I’ve brought you a present,” he said, feeling totally out of his depth. “Although to be fair it was Lily’s idea.”
“If it was Lily’s idea then it must be a good one,” she replied with a sparkle in her eyes. “Come on then, let’s go inside and you can show me what it is.”
They walked in awkward silence toward the cottage, side by side. Tom glanced across at her, wishing he hadn’t let Lily persuade him into this; it was one thing for him to help Ali with her research but surprising her with a puppy was personal and they’d already crossed that line once today. She probably didn’t even want a dog anyway, and he’d vowed to himself not to let his guard down again; there was still way too much blame and pain around for either of them to really know how they felt. They needed to keep their distance and bringing her a puppy was a stupid idea.
“Well...?” Ali asked as they walked into the kitchen. “Come on...what is it?”
When Tom placed the bag carefully down on the kitchen table Ali watched with interest. Suddenly it rolled as the pup moved inside and when she let out a surprised cry he smiled, reaching inside to gently retrieve the little creature. The pup stared out at him with button-bright eyes, whining softly, and he immediately handed her over to Ali.
“Oh you little love,” she cried, cuddling the bundle of fluff in her arms. “You are so cute.”
“I take it you like her then,” Tom said, feeling pleased with her reaction.
“Wouldn’t anyone?” she cried, taking the pup between her hands and lifting it up to her face. “When Lily showed them to me this was the one I liked best... I take it she’s yours?”
“Actually,” he said. “She’s for you. Lily got it into her head that you were lonely and you needed something to love.”
“Do you know that your sister is the most caring and considerate person I have ever met...but how can I look after a puppy...even one as cute as Freckles?”
“Well you’ve named it now so I guess you’ll just have to find a way to look after it. Lily’s sent a bag of puppy food for you and, knowing her, probably a list of instructions for caring for it, too.”
“But what will I do with it if...?”
“If what...?”
“Well I’m kind of in between things really aren’t I? I mean, I left here after...after Bobby, because I didn’t think I had any right to be here but then I decided that writing my book, would be a good thing so I came back. When it’s finished I guess I’ll have to go back to the city and my job as a journalist.”
“And is that what you really want?” The serious note in Tom’s voice threw Ali, and he almost regretted the question.
“I don’t know,” she murmured. “I don’t know where I am or what I want anymore.”
“And you can afford to take this time out?”
She nodded. “My dad left me some money. As you know I came here originally to write an article about fishing for him... It just feels as though I need to do it for Bobby now. I’ll do the article for my dad later. I’m sure he’d understand.”
“Look, I think it’s great the way you’ve chosen to keep Bobby’s memory alive with your fisherboy’s tale. It’s a lovely idea. You need to just live for now though and let the future look after itself... Keep the pup, Lily’s right, it’ll take your mind off things.”
“Thanks,” Ali said with a warm smile, “for making up my mind for me.” To his surprise she reached up again to give him a peck on the cheek.
Tom raised his eyebrows. “This seems to be becoming a regular occurrence,” he said.
Ali laughed, shaking her head. “It was just a thank you kiss that’s all... So are you taking a puppy, too?”
Tom shrugged, feeling warm inside. “I don’t know. I’m thinking about it and Lily’s a good persuader. Pip, their mother, is my dog really and I miss her, but she prefers to be at the pub and she loves Lily so I don’t really mind. It would be nice to have one of her pups I guess... It’s a big commitment though.”
“You should do it,” Ali told him. “I can help care for it and we can take them for walks together. It’ll be spring soon—we can walk them along the shore.”
“We’ll see,” Tom said, already looking forward to it.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
IT WAS WELL over two months since she came back to Jenny Brown’s Bay, Ali realized, looking at the calendar on the kitchen wall; two months of writing, two months of trying to sort through the confusion in her head and over five months since she and Jake had finally split up for good. The last couple of weeks had felt like a real turning point though, thanks to Freckles.
At first she thought she’d taken on too much when, lost and lonely, the pup just hadn’t seemed to settle.
“If you need someone to love then here I am,” she told the little creature, and then she’d sat down with Freckles in her arms and talked to her for what seemed like hours, about love and life and loss, all the things that had turned her life on its head.
After the first few sessions of bonding Ali noticed that she herself felt much more calm and serene, as if opening her heart to the pup had helped to heal her, too. Freckles had stopped whining and pining and they’d become frien
ds, forever friends. In fact she couldn’t imagine her life without the little dog in it. Reaching down she scooped the pup into her arms, holding her close.
“You,” she said, “are the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time...and today we are going to take our first proper walk with your brother.”
Half an hour later when she stepped outside into the fresh morning air, gulls were already circling in the sky above the clifftop, their distinctive, haunting cries rising on the wind that buffeted the crooked trees. She’d come back here just after Christmas, filled with trepidation and doubts, but now it felt as if there was a whole new brightness to the sky, a promise of spring that brought fresh hope and lightness into her heart.
“And that’s thanks to you,” she told Freckles, attaching her new collar and lead before picking up the little dog. “And Lily of course,” she added out loud. Tom had helped with her healing, too, but that thought she kept locked deep inside; they were friends, finally, and that was more than she thought they could ever be.
He approached her now as she walked along the shore. He had his pup on a lead but progress was slow as the fluffy white bundle didn’t seem to quite know what to do.
“I didn’t know if you’d come when I left you the message,” he called, smiling. “It just occurred to me that now I’ve decided to have a dog again it would be nice for Snowy here to have a friend to keep him company on our walks.”
Ali shrugged, trying not to look too enthusiastic. “I’m glad Lily talked you into taking him,” she said. “You won’t regret it. Freckles is the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time and she’ll love having Snowy around.”
“I’ll say,” he responded as the little white dog suddenly raced toward Freckles, totally forgetting that he was still on the lead. When it jerked him to a halt he pulled back against it, frustrated at being constrained.
“It does look as if he’ll need a bit more training on the lead though,” Ali said, unable to contain a giggle. “Come on girl,” she said to Freckles. “Let’s show him how it’s done... Or maybe not,” she added as Snowy managed to wrap his lead around Tom’s legs, almost making him lose his balance.
Suddenly they were both laughing together like two old friends.
“This is nice,” she said as they sorted out the leads and set off again. “No pressure.”
“No pressure is good,” Tom agreed but there was a longing in his eyes as he looked at her. “It’s nice to see you laughing again,” he added.
“And you,” she agreed. “Although if I’m honest I have to admit that it makes me feel...oh I don’t know, a bit guilty I suppose.”
They walked side by side, shoulders almost touching, as he took in what she’d said. “You should never feel guilty about laughing,” he told her. “Bobby wouldn’t have wanted that.”
“Would he have wanted us to be friends?” she asked.
Tom nodded. “Of course he would. Is that what we are then...friends?”
“I hope so,” she said with a smile.
Ali thought about their walk as she curled up in her bed that night. It really did feel that finally they were becoming friends; it was nice, she decided, and at least it was a start.
A start of what, asked her inner voice, what did she want it to be? Closing her eyes she pushed the question aside, refusing to address it... They’d walked along the shore that’s all, had a few lighthearted laughs, talked dogs and remembered Bobby. It was enough for now and more than she’d expected.
* * *
FOR TOM, sleepless and confused, things weren’t quite so clear. He couldn’t look at Ali without his pulse quickening; the glint of gold in her hair when the sun caught it, the way her warm brown eyes crinkled at the corners when she smiled...and the inner glow she seemed to radiate. Everything about her drew him in however hard he tried to blank it out, and he couldn’t get rid of the gut-wrenching guilt about his feelings. Today though, maybe because of the pups, it had been different; it felt as if they were both finally moving on as friends. He liked that feeling and he was determined not to mess up. They’d even discussed taking the dogs onto the shore again tomorrow, nothing definite, just a vague suggestion dependent on the weather. He hoped the weather would be good.
Sunday morning dawned bleak and gray. The sea seemed to merge with the sky with no distinct horizon, and storm clouds hung heavy in the air.
“No walk today,” Tom told Snowy, who was standing near the door wriggling his whole body in anticipation... “Never mind, after breakfast we’ll go to The Fisherman’s and see the family.”
It had surprised Tom to find how easily he’d adapted to having a companion around all the time; he talked to the pup constantly, airing his views and plans as if the little creature could understand his every word.
“Do you know,” he said, reaching down to scratch behind the pup’s ears, “I didn’t realize how lonely I was until you came along.”
Snowy whined in response and Tom laughed. “Are you disappointed about missing our walk with your sister? Well I’m disappointed, too, but don’t worry, we’ll call in there on the way past.”
When he reached Ali’s door with the pup carefully tucked inside his waterproof jacket, Tom hesitated. Should he just leave it until later? As he stood dithering on the doorstep the door opened and there she was.
“I suppose you’ve come to tell me that our walk’s off.” she said. “The pups are still too young to get cold and wet I know... You could stop for a coffee though. If you want to that is.”
“Thanks,” Tom said, a warm glow settling inside him. “I guess the kids can play inside.”
“You’ve certainly taken this puppy ownership seriously.” She laughed, ushering him into the kitchen. “Although I admit that at times it does feel as if I’ve got a baby to take care of.”
Tom placed Snowy gently down on the floor, then watched the two pups playing. “Do you ever regret it?” he asked. “Getting Freckles I mean?”
“No of course not,” cried Ali. “In fact I owe Lily for persuading you to give her to me.”
Tom gestured in the direction of the window. “Well you can thank her now if you like because I can see her walking along the shore.”
Not bothering to knock, Lily burst in through the front door and came running into the kitchen. “Oh,” she said when she saw Tom. “So you’re here.”
“Well don’t sound too pleased to see me.”
“I am—it’s not that... I wanted to talk to Ali about something.”
“Don’t worry, I know when I’m not wanted. Just let me finish my coffee and I’ll be off... I was on my way to see Mum and Dad anyway.”
Ali automatically held out her hand in objection. “No, it’s fine, Lily. Anything you want to say to me you can say in front of Tom.”
Lily’s face turned a vivid shade of pink. “But it’s Tom I want to talk to you about,” she whispered.
Tom gulped back his drink and picked up Snowy. “Don’t worry I really am off... I’ll call in on my way back, Ali...if that’s okay?”
“Yes...sure,” she said.
* * *
AFTER TOM LEFT, Lily turned toward Ali. “I want to ask you something,” she said, her voice high-pitched with excitement.
Ali smiled. “...Yes?”
“Are you in love with Tom?”
Taken aback, Ali hesitated. “Why...no,” she eventually managed. “Of course not.”
“So do you still love your husband?”
Her response was instant. “No...definitely not.”
Lily grinned with satisfaction. “There,” she said. “You see.”
“See what?”
“When I asked about Tom you went pink and stuttered but when I asked the same question about your husband you didn’t hesitate.”
“What’s brought all this on, Lily?” Ali asked.
Lily pulled at her blond plait. “I heard Ned talking to dad.”
“And what was he saying?”
“Ned said that you were after Tom, you lost Bobby and now you want Tom.”
“And what do you think, Lily.”
The girl’s pretty face lit up with a broad grin. “I want you to fall in love with Tom,” she said. “I’m sure he likes you.”
Ali shook her head, moved by Lily’s admission. “That’s just wishful thinking I’m afraid. I don’t think Tom wants a relationship with anyone, to be honest. His life is full enough with his fishing. And even if, as you seem to believe, he does have feelings for me, then I don’t think he’d want to upset the rest of the family.”
“It’s only Ned who’d be upset. Dad told him that he needed to back off and get rid of all his bitterness. ‘Bobby’s gone,’” he said, “and we’ll never forget him. We are still here though and we have to get on with living.’”
“And what did Ned say?”
“He just turned and walked off... So you will think about falling in love with Tom?”
“I hope you’re not going to ask him the same question.”
“I might...unless you tell me how you really feel.”
“Look, Lil,” Ali took both the girl’s hands in hers. “I like Tom and I hope we’re friends but love just happens. Sometimes you can’t stop it even if you want to and sometimes you really want to be in love with someone but however hard you try it doesn’t happen.”
“Like that song,” Lily cried. “You know...”
“What song?”
“I can’t remember who sings it but I know some of the words.”
“Go on then, let’s hear it.”
Lily took a breath and started to sing “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” Ali was dumbfounded.
“Oh Lily,” she cried. “It’s George Michael. That was so beautiful and yes...that’s exactly what I meant.”
Lily’s pretty face puckered. “So you don’t love Tom then,” she said sadly.
“I don’t love anyone in that way right now,” Ali told her, trying to be totally honest. “I hope Tom and I are friends and maybe one day...who knows. But for now don’t get your hopes up.”
A Home for Her Baby Page 10