“Oh Jake,” she responded, touched by his obvious distress. “Why couldn’t you just be honest with me in the first place? We might be over but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect what we once had. If money is the problem then that’s easily solved. Look... I don’t care about the house and I’ll never come back to live in the city so why don’t we just renegotiate the settlement so that you keep it?”
Jake frowned. “And what do you get out of it?”
“All rights to my daughter...and peace of mind. Sell it right away and rent somewhere until you get another job. And you will get another, trust me. You just have to put in the effort. Now give me a minute to see to Daisy and then I’ll clean you up a bit before you go.”
“And you really did mean it, about the house I mean?”
“Of course I meant it. It’s just a house and there are more important things than money. Now tell me the truth, Jake, do you still want to play a part in Daisy’s life?”
“To be honest, I’m not really sure I’m the fatherly type,” he said, pulling a face at the wet patch on his chest. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want some involvement. I mean, I want my daughter to know who I am at least.”
Ali nodded, relieved that he was willing to take a back seat. “That’s fine with me. Sort out your finances and your job and then we’ll see where we are...agreed?”
“Agreed,” Jake said. “And, Ali...”
“Yes.”
“Thanks.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
ALI SLEPT FITFULLY, waking up again and again and wishing she’d had the chance to talk to Tom; when morning dawned drizzly and cool it seemed to reflect her mood. After seeing to Daisy and feeding Freckles she reached for her phone and scrolled down to Tom’s number, hesitating before calling him; after all she didn’t want him to think she was desperate and needy. She’d just wait, she decided, and see what happened.
It was almost lunchtime when Lily called. She burst in bright and breezy as usual. “Seen Tom?” Ali casually asked.
Lily frowned. “He was with Ned and some friends in the pub last night and I heard Ned later on from my window. He was outside talking to one of his friends about someone in the bar who’d upset them.”
“Oh dear... Who was it, do you think?”
Lily shrugged. “I think he was staying at the pub. Ned said he’d come to see his wife... Can I go see Daisy now?”
Ali smiled while inside her heart was sinking. “Of course. Don’t disturb her if she’s still asleep though.”
* * *
TOM STRODE BY at twelve fifteen staring straight ahead as he passed by Ali’s door; he looked tired and unkempt she thought, as if he hadn’t bothered to shave.
“You okay, Tom?” she called, determined not to let him ignore her.
When he hesitated she ran to catch him up. “What is it, Tom... Have I done something wrong—is this all about Jake? I know he stayed at the pub last night.”
“I saw him here when I was on my way home last night.”
“Is that why you’re angry with me, Tom? But why? I told you he’d been here and you knew he’d come back. I thought you trusted me.”
For a moment he seemed to weaken. “Oh Ali,” he cried, reaching out to touch her cheek with his forefinger as if afraid of making any more contact than that. “I do trust you. That’s not the issue.”
“Well what is the issue then?” she pleaded. “Yesterday we were...yesterday I thought. What’s changed, Tom?”
“I don’t know, Ali,” he admitted. “There are just too many issues, that’s the trouble. For a start, you aren’t meant to be stuck in a fishing village waiting and worrying for a husband that might not come home. Seeing your ex has made me realize what kind of life you used to live and it’s not this.”
“You are so wrong, Tom,” Ali said sadly.
“Maybe I am,” he told her, “And I hope you’re right, but right now I need some space.”
Lily was in the hallway when Ali went back into the cottage. She tried to brush away her tears, too late. “I know you and Tom have had a row,” she said. “So you may as well come into the kitchen and tell me what’s going on. And Daisy’s fine so you don’t need to worry about her.”
Ali sat at the kitchen table with her head in her hands. “I love him, Lily,” she said. “That’s the trouble... And I thought he was falling in love with me.”
“He was... I mean...is,” responded Lily. “Look, I know it has something to do with last night so just tell me... I’m eighteen now you know, not seven.”
Ali reached across to place her hand on Lily’s arm. “I know you are,” she said. “And I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Then tell me?”
“Did you see the man last night,” she asked. “The man who stopped at the pub?”
Lily nodded. “Yes...fleetingly. He was quite tall, and dark haired.”
“And suave and sophisticated,” Ali added.
“Well...yes, I guess.”
“He was my ex and he called in to see me, but we really are over, Lily. Do you believe me?”
“Yes,” Lily said with no hesitation. “Of course I believe you and I know that you love Tom.”
Ali looked at her. “Tom’s got some idea in his head about it not being fair for me to live here in the village and be a fisherman’s wife. He said he needed space, Lily, and I’m going to give it to him. Oh I don’t know, maybe we’re just destined not to be.”
“You are destined to be together,” Lily cried. “I know you are and somehow we’re going to make Tom see that. I have to go now but I’ll be back tomorrow...and, Ali...”
“Yes.”
“You love each other and surely that’s the most important thing...so never give up.”
“I don’t think Tom sees it quite like that,” Ali said, trying to smile.
Those three words, never give up, went round and round in Ali’s head as she nursed Daisy, rocking her to and fro in her arms and pressing her lips against the sweet baby softness of her skin. And they were still circling in her head when she woke in the night, moving from sleep to full awareness in just a second. Never give up...never give up...never give up. Slipping out of her bed she checked on Daisy and ran down the stairs to make tea; Lily was right, she realized; she mustn’t give up.
Sipping her drink she switched on her computer and went into Documents, scrolling down to A Fisherboy’s Tale and clicking on Print.
When Lily arrived at ten o’clock the next morning Ali was carefully putting copies of her book in colored files. “Morning,” she called. “Here, Lily, please will you make sure that both your mum and your dad get a copy of this, and ask Tom and Ned to make sure they’ve read theirs... Here,” she handed a copy to Lily. “This is for you, I know you don’t really do much reading but please just try and read it for me.”
“Course I will,” Lily agreed. “But why, Ali... Has it got to do with Tom?”
Ali nodded. “Yes...hopefully. Maybe reading this will make everyone realize just how much I really do care. When did you say the memorial for Bobby was?”
Lily frowned. “This Saturday night. It’s a party though not a memorial, it would have been his birthday soon and it’s going to be a celebration... Why do you ask? What are you planning?”
“You’ll just have to wait and see,” Ali said, smiling. “Let’s just say it’s an all or nothing effort... Don’t breathe a word though.”
* * *
FOR THE NEXT few days Ali kept herself to herself. To her relief she didn’t hear from Jake. Lily came and went as usual and Tom walked past her cottage each day but she determinedly didn’t try and attract his attention, wanting him to trust her again of his own volition.
“Did you tell all your family to read my book, Lily?” she asked on Friday.
Lily nodded. “I saw Mum readin
g it last night and Ned’s copy is open by his bed. I don’t know about Dad.”
“And the memorial party tomorrow night starts at seven thirty?”
“Yes... It’s in the big back room at the pub and it’s going to be all about remembering Bobby and celebrating his birthday... Why, are you coming?”
“Tell you what, Lily,” Ali said, leaning toward her. “If I let you in on a secret will you keep it?”
“Of course,” declared Lily. “I’m good at secrets.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
SATURDAY DAWNED BRIGHT and clear. Ali woke with fresh hope tinged by apprehension; what if she made a fool of herself? Pushing any negativity from her mind she fed Daisy and by eight thirty she was walking along the shore with the baby in a sling while Freckles ran in front of them, sniffing out any interesting scents she could find.
The air was fresh and clear with a definite autumnal nip. Ali breathed in deeply, taking in the scents and sounds of the sea as it rushed up the shore, trying to think of anything other than tonight, when in truth it was the only thing inside her head. As she reached the top of the cliff path she stopped and looked back. She could see Cove Cottages way below her, perched almost at the edge of the sand but securely built on limestone rock. Someone was walking along in front of the cottages; the breath caught in her throat and her heart beat overtime. It was Tom—Tom and Snowy heading past her cottage. Would he stop and look to see if she was there?
He hesitated, calling for Snowy, or pretending to and then he went on his way, walking quickly. Was there really any point in tonight, she wondered, or was she just going to look like a fool? “Oh Daisy,” she said, leaning down to touch her lips to the baby’s head. “I think that Mummy might be making a big mistake.”
Heading back toward her cottage she tried to hang on to the positivity she’d felt when she outlined her idea to Lily. It had taken months for Tom to finally begin to believe in her and now even Ned had come around...until Jake turned up and made Tom question everything. Never give up, Lily told her, but despite those three brave words doubts began to invade her determination; perhaps she should just give up on loving Tom and walk away.
That was impossible, though, she realized, for true love didn’t let go of you that easily and she wasn’t ready yet to give in gracefully either. Perhaps Tom didn’t love her enough to overcome his issues but at least she’d have given it her best shot. Tonight, she decided, she really was going to go all out for it. After that she didn’t care.
* * *
FOR ALMOST AN hour Ali went through her wardrobe, changing from one outfit to another and back again. She wanted to look her best, to appear honest and reliable. In the end she chose a simple blue above-the-knee dress that showed off her slim, tanned legs, with navy heels for that bit of elegance. She even took longer deciding what Daisy should wear, but by eight o’clock they were ready. Loading the baby into her car seat she almost had second thoughts.
“It’s our one last chance, Daisy,” she said determinedly, tucking her blanket around her. “And all I have to do now is speak from the heart and hope.”
* * *
ALI HADN’T REALIZED how busy Bobby’s memorial would be. Of course, he’d been a very popular character around here so obviously there were going to be lots of people who wanted to come and remember him.
The sound of laughter trickled through the bar from the function room at the back of the pub. Holding Daisy close for comfort, she took a deep breath and headed for the doorway. She’d timed it so that the tributes to Bobby were finished and the food was about to be served. That way she could get everyone’s attention.
Lily was waiting by the door. “Just a few more minutes,” she said. “Dad’s about to say something about Bobby and then I’m going to step up and tell them that there’s one more person wanting to speak.”
Ali looked around nervously. “Do you know if they read the book?”
Lily nodded eagerly. “Yes and they loved it. Mum was crying and even Dad shed a few tears when he finished it... It’s going to be okay, Ali, I know it.”
“I wish I was as confident as you,” Ali groaned. “This is beginning to feel like a really bad idea.”
“No it’s not,” Lily insisted. “Look, Dad’s nearly finished... I’m going in now, Ali. You ready?”
“Well I’ll never be ready but I am going to give it my best shot.”
A hush fell over the room as Jed Roberts went to sit down and Lily took the moment to announce another speaker. When Ali walked in clutching Daisy in her arms a low rumble of surprise rippled through the gathered crowd. Ignoring it, Ali walked to the front of the room with her head held high.
“I am here,” she began. “Because, like all of you, I cared for Bobby...as a good friend. He helped me when I was in a bad place and I would do anything to undo what happened that day on the boat. I wrote A Fisherboy’s Tale for all the Roberts family. I wrote it from the heart in memory of Bobby so that we can all read it and remember him forever.”
Ali hesitated then, glancing across at Tom; their eyes met briefly but the connection lasted merely a second before he looked away. She took a deep breath, trying to control the rapid beating of her heart. “A Fisherboy’s Tale has also been read by an editor from one of the big publishing houses,” she went on. “He is keen to publish it in book form but as I have officially handed the ownership of the book to Jed, Grace, Tom, Ned and Lily, what happens to it now is their decision. It can stay just within the family or, if they choose, it can be published and any money it makes could be used to do something that Bobby would have wanted.”
A ripple of appreciation ran around the room at her words, but she lifted her hand to stop it.
“I don’t want thanks,” she said. “It’s a small thing to do for Bobby after the enormity of the tragedy that ended his life...and I’ll always feel some responsibility for that. For what it’s worth, I know I should never have gone on the boat that day and I’d do anything to undo what happened... This is a small gesture I know, but it’s all I have.”
The room fell silent then, all eyes on Ali as she spoke from the heart. “I came here, to Jenny Brown’s Bay, on Bobby’s suggestion, to try and get my head straight about my marriage breakdown. I didn’t know when I came here that I was going to be a mum and I don’t know how Daisy survived my fall into the ocean, but she did and she’s here and I love her. My marriage is over forever and I love the way of life here in Jenny Brown’s Bay, Tom, no matter what you may think.”
Everyone turned then to look at Tom, who was staring at her in shock. Ned and Jed stepped up beside him to stop him from making any attempt to leave, and as Ali looked at him across the room with her heart in her eyes, somehow he couldn’t look away.
“I also want you to know, Tom Roberts,” she said. “In front of all your friends and family—I love you with all my heart, and if you still have doubts about me then I swear that I never have and never will be untrue. I hope Bobby’s book can make a difference in some way and...and, Tom, with...or without me, I hope you find happiness.”
When the whole room went suddenly silent she felt the pressure of tears behind her eyes. She’d read the situation all wrong and behaved like a fool. A gasp rippled around the room as she turned and fled with Daisy clutched close against her chest and tears rolling down her face.
Grace and Lily were the first to move. “Tom,” Grace pleaded. “Make this right.”
It was full dark when Ali ran out into the night, with not even the sliver of a moon to break through the shadows. She hadn’t thought about what would happen after she had her say, but she hadn’t reckoned with that awful shocked silence either. They were probably all laughing now at her needy, pathetic speech.
Grace appeared beside Ali as she fumbled for her car keys, placing her hand firmly on her shoulder. “Let me take Daisy,” she said. “Please. You and Tom need to talk.”
&nb
sp; “No,” Ali turned determinedly back toward her car, her fingers shaking as she withdrew her key. “It’s too late... All I’ve done is to make a fool of myself. I should have just left without saying anything.”
“Give the baby to me,” Grace repeated, holding out her arms. “I’ll look after her so you don’t need to worry. You have to see this through.”
Silently Ali handed Daisy over. “But what if...” she began.
“Just go and find him,” Grace urged. “And, Ali...”
“Yes...?” Her whole body trembled.
“We all loved the book. Thank you so much for the memories.”
As Grace went back inside with Daisy, Ali stepped into the shadows. What if he didn’t want to talk to her? What if he didn’t even come and she had to walk back inside to get Daisy and face all those people.
A beam of light cut through the darkness as the door to the pub opened and suddenly there he was, his familiar figure outlined by its warm yellow glow. Ali stood motionless in the darkness, a tide of emotion rising inside her. He stepped forward, looking around. “Ali,” he called. “I’m...I’m sorry...”
To Ali it felt as if a dam had burst inside her. She stepped into the light, her eyes focused on his face. “It’s I who should be sorry,” she said quietly.
His response was to open his arms and she walked into them as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Oh Ali,” he murmured as she laid her head against his shoulder, breathing in his fresh, spicy scent. “It was so brave...your speech, and it made me feel so ashamed. I should have trusted you...trusted us.”
Drawing back, she looked up into his eyes. “Do you trust us now?” she asked.
He cupped her face between his hands. “To the end of the earth and back,” he said, touching his lips to hers.
She responded by gently returning his kiss. “I love you, Tom Roberts,” she whispered. “I think I’ve loved you forever and I’m so sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused.”
A Home for Her Baby Page 21