by McKay, KC
I flung my arms open. "I didn't do anything to you, Darcy. I never cheated on you, and I never gave you anything you didn't want. Honest."
She remained silent, not looking at me, still fighting back tears.
I wanted to move over and hold her, but she might have punched me. "So where do we go from here?"
She shrugged. "Even if you didn't do anything with her, I'm still treating this as a wake-up call. I should have never gotten involved with an enlisted guy in the first place." She buried her face in her hands, then resurfaced a moment later and looked at me. "Sorry, but I got carried away and have behaved totally unprofessionally. I'm ending it, Zac. It's over." She shook her fist in my direction, "And so help me God, if you gave me anything—" She stared at me, rage bubbling from her soul.
"Are you really calling time on us?"
Her eyes narrowed. "Ahh… yeah. Besides you possibly giving me a disease, it would never have worked anyway. I don't know what I was thinking."
I returned her look with honesty. "Darcy, if you have anything, I can assure you it didn't come from me."
She slapped her hand on the armrest. "Well I couldn't have gotten it from anyone else!" After a few moments she drew a calming breath. "Anyway, I do appreciate you not telling medical that you and I had a fling. That would have ended my career."
"I would never do anything to hurt you. Personally or professionally." I placed my hand on her knee again. "I know I couldn't possibly have given you any form of VD. And I also know I would never betray you. What has happened, or will happen, between you and me will go to the grave with me. You have my word."
She looked down at my hand on her knee, but didn't move it.
I gripped her tighter. "I'm sorry I lied to you, but I'm not now. Please believe me, Darcy."
Her face softened. "You do have to admit, it's pretty hard to swallow." She immediately put her hand up. "Don't say anything; that was a poor choice of words."
I think we shared a non-verbal chuckle through our eyes, but she was pretty pissed, so I wasn't certain.
"I swear on my life, I never gave you anything. Besides, we were good together. We can make it work. I can be very discreet." I made sure I looked at her sincerely, not lustfully.
She peered at her hands in her lap. "I'm sorry, Zac, but no." She didn't look up.
My heart broke as I studied her beauty for a moment, realizing her mind was made up, yet I couldn't help wondering what could have been. She was clear it was the end.
They say timing is everything, and I sensed this wasn't the time to try to win her back. In fact, it didn't look like there would ever be a chance of that. I knew it was all too good to be true.
"I'm really going to miss you." I stood up. "Goodbye, Lieutenant. I'll let myself out."
I walked to the door, perhaps sadder than I had ever been before in my life.
As I turned the deadbolt and pressed the handle down, I sensed a presence behind me. I turned.
"I want to believe you, Zac." Her eyes still moist from wells of sadness pooled in her eyes.
"Then do it," I urged her.
"But even if I do, it's still not right. Us, I mean. It's wrong on so many different levels."
"It's also so right on the important level. The one that matters the most."
The emotional pain pressed through her tough exterior, offering me glimpses of how sad she really was. She wanted me, I could feel it, but she was thinking with her head, not her heart.
I wanted to win her over once and for all.
Our eyes engaged on a deep, intimate plateau.
"Darcy… I lo—"
Her finger raced to my lips, shushing me. "Don't. You can't. I can't. We can't. That's it, Zac. It's over. Forget about me… us… It can't be. Goodnight, Zac."
She closed the door behind me, and when the deadbolt clicked, I knew our relationship was officially over. Once again, I wished I'd never been sent to this godforsaken shithole. Only this time, it was for a different reason.
Chapter 29
I went about my job focusing on pipes and paperwork to help block out my pain and carry me through the despair that consumed me. I couldn't let a broken heart stop me from ensuring America's nuclear deterrent was war-ready at all times. That was what I kept telling myself, anyway, to help get through the struggle, but it didn't make a lot of difference. It was a complete facade on my part. I was incredibly sad.
Whenever I found myself around Darcy, or Lieutenant Novak, as I now tried to think of her, I put on a military front and steeled myself against her allure as a woman. I had to in order to function.
Lieutenant Novak and I managed to maintain a professional relationship over the next few months. It sometimes felt as if she avoided me, leaving Master Chief to deal with me more often than she used to. Perhaps she was trying to keep her own heartbreak to a minimum. Work-wise, we handled the situation pretty well and she didn't send me to another division, which she could easily have done.
We talked a few times about the Indianapolis Colts, but that was about as personal as our conversations went. Other than that, all our talks revolved around submarines.
Losing Darcy had a strange effect on me. I looked at other girls, but I wasn't interested. My taste and needs had matured. I didn't desire anyone other than her. I had no sex drive, which wasn't normal for a twenty-four year old guy stationed in a foreign land.
If only I had gone to the Philippines like I had reenlisted for I wouldn't have suffered a broken heart and my dick would still be operating normally — poking around whenever and wherever it wanted to.
Charlotte's disease changed her. She became withdrawn, quit going out drinking, and lost her sparkle. I tried to be nice to her, without leading her on, but sadness and bitterness drove her into a cocoon of isolation — not just with me, but with everyone.
With no girlfriend to devote time to, and in an effort to improve myself and my prospects, I took Lt. Novak's advice and enrolled in college. I needed to think about my future. I no longer felt like the kid who enlisted over five years ago. A college education would help my future prospects regardless of what I did and help shape who I would become.
After speaking at length with the college education guy, I enrolled for night and weekend courses, hosted by the University of Maryland, to further my education. Having had a taste of the officer's life, or more accurately, having tasted an officer, I wanted more. I didn't want to be shunned again by a would-be mate because I was beneath their social class. I set my sights on becoming a Navy officer.
With the help of the counselor for the Navy and from the college, we devised a schedule where I could earn my associate's degree by the time I left Scotland, then go onto a campus for two years to earn my bachelor's degree.
After that, I could go to knife and fork school to learn how to behave like an officer and a gentleman, and come out as a commissioned officer.
My life looked pretty shitty at the time, but hopefully I could still have a satisfying future.
***
I went to the supervisors' meeting Friday afternoon and hoped it would be quick. After work, I had my last class in accounting before the final exam on Monday. It wasn't my strongest subject and I needed all the help I could get. I had a good grasp of hourglass figures, but when it came to the 'First In, First Out' theory, it sounded more like a gangbang procedure than a material restocking system.
Lt. Novak's voice brought my attention back into the meeting. "Pipe shop." She sometimes addressed me that way since we became 'non-fucking' professionals. It wasn't meant to be derogatory, and it was how she addressed most of the other supervisors — by shop assignment. It kept a certain respectable distance between us.
"Ma'am?" It had been long enough since our split that I could look her in the eyes without getting that sharp stabbing pain I used to get shortly after she dumped me.
"I hope you don't have any plans for the immediate future." She leaned back and pressed the eraser end of a pencil against her cheek. "Just
got word that the Mojo is getting underway as soon as possible for special ops, but a valve needs replacing before she's fit for sea. The planning department is writing the package as we speak, then you need to get your boys down there and get the job done ASAP. The PMA wants the division officer," she pointed to herself, "moi, and the shop supervisor," she leveled her finger in my direction, "on this ship or that sub until the job is complete and the Mojo is underway. Understood?"
"Oh, ma'am," I groaned. "I have college tonight and I really need to go. I have the final on Monday."
"Tough. The Navy accommodates education wherever possible, Petty Officer Chambers, but the submarines take priority over anything and everything." There was no signs of negotiating a compromise in the look she gave me.
I sighed. "Yes, ma'am."
***
George and Billy Earl had duty that night and were designated to be on standby for emergencies such as this. Good thing George was there. That's who I would have wanted to do the job anyway. I sent the two of them to do the work and I made regular checks to keep up on the status so I always knew the answers when the PMA or Lt. Novak called to find out where the job was progress-wise.
Lt. Novak came down to my office around midnight. I had a coffee machine in the office for the stimulus needed to get me through all the late nights I had to work. A pot just finished brewing when she walked in.
I got up from my desk, pleased to see her, even if it was just business. "Oh, hi, Lieutenant. Care for a cup of coffee?"
"Yes, please. I need something to get me through the night. I think it might be a long one."
I poured us each a mug. "Two sugars, no milk, right?" I asked.
She nodded. "You remembered."
I offered my unassuming shrug. "I don't think I've forgotten anything about you."
She didn't reply.
When I handed her the mug her hand touched mine. Tingles rocketed through my body. Five months after our misunderstanding and she still excited me with the lightest of touches. I didn't know if the contact was intentional or not, but her softness rekindled passions. Not wanting to harbor false hope, I dismissed it as an accidental grazing.
At my invitation, we sat at the desks which were side by side, with our chairs turned facing one another.
"How's the job going?" she asked.
"Good. I just came back from there a few minutes ago. They're all set up," I looked at my watch, "and George should be climbing into the overhead any time now to start brazing."
"Good. I hope he gets it passed the first time. It could get ugly if we have to file for a rework." Her eyes glanced up at me from time to time, but there were no meaningful looks of lust coming from her end. She was pretty good at disguising her true feelings sometimes, so maybe her lust was hidden real deep.
So much for not harboring hope.
I sipped some coffee. "Well, he's the best man for the job. He'll do it."
Silence formed a barrier between us, and the longer it went on, the more difficult it became to break.
She finally alleviated the awkwardness. "So, what are you studying in college?"
I was pleased she asked me a personal question. "Business Management. I have to take the exams for Business Law and Economics. Those courses are really tough. I'm a bit worried about them."
"I'm sure you'll do fine."
Despite me doing stupid things, at least she didn't think I was stupid in the head. That was something.
My fingers drummed the desk. "Too bad I can't get credit for what you've taught me." I quickly turned my head toward her, causing a pain to shoot through my neck from the sudden jerk. I winced. "About management skills I mean, not about anything else you may have taught me." I held my neck as I grimaced. "I wasn't suggesting anything inappropriate or anything, it's just that—"
She cocked her head to one side. "Zac—"
I raised my hand. "I know. Shut up."
She contained a smile before it became obvious.
I continued to rub my neck.
She blew on her coffee before taking a sip. "What are you going to do once you get your degree?"
I leaned back in my chair and propped my feet on the desk. "I've been thinking about what you said. Do you still think I'd make a good officer?"
She swiveled her chair to face forward, presenting me with a side-on view of her. She nodded while she stared into her cup. "Yes, I do. I think you'd make a splendid officer."
Her approval gave me cause to smile. "Good, because that's what I'm doing. I'm blazing a trail to go officer. Then maybe you and I—"
She looked at me from the corner of her eye.
"Well, then if I ever meet a female officer, maybe things could be different." My words felt awkward, so I shut up and sipped my coffee. "By the way, I bet you haven't had any itching, have you? You know, down there." I nodded toward her lower region.
Her eyes went wide. "That's kind of personal, don't you think?"
I shrugged. "Well, if I'm the one being accused as the source of discomfort, I figure I have a right to ask."
She shook her head. "No, I don't think I've been infected, lucky for you."
I gave her my stern look, the same one I used to ooze honesty. "I know not by me. I can promise you that. And luck had nothing to do with it."
"I still can't believe Kemp would do that."
I lit a cigarette. "What? Blackmail me or infect—" I waved my hand in the air. "Let's not talk about her."
Darcy continued staring at her mug. "Are you seeing anyone?"
"Nope. The woman I want to see is…" I momentarily glanced skyward, searching for the right words. "…out of my league, I guess you'd say."
She ran her finger around the top of her mug. "She must be a royal bitch if she's blowing you off."
I took a drag, staring at Darcy, but she didn't look my way. "No, I wouldn't class her as that. We had a misunderstanding, but she was justified to think the worst. It didn't look very good at the time, but I still think about her a lot. More like all the time, actually. I hope she believed my version of events and finds it in her heart to forgive me, even though I didn't do anything wrong." I searched her for a reaction, but she played it coy. "Do you think if I asked her out she might accept?"
Finally, our eyes met. Her cool gray irises remained just that — cool.
Rage-powered footsteps stomped down the aluminum stairwell leading to the shop. Within seconds, the PMA stood at the threshold resembling a fire-breathing dragon. "Who the hell's down on the Mojo?"
I jumped to my feet. "Petty Officer McClure and—"
His devil-horn eyebrows looked spikier than usual. "I don't give a rat's ass which monkeys are down there, I want supervisors down there, and I want that sub underway before sun-up."
"Yes, sir. I'm on it." I stubbed my cigarette out and left.
Chapter 30
The pipe and valve replacement passed the inspection and the Mojo got underway before sunrise. For the time being, the pipe shop was crowned as the glory boys of Site Bravo for delivering under pressure, so I was going to enjoy the limelight and the praise while it lasted.
Lt. Novak sent word for Billy Earl, George and me to report to her office at 0900.
When we walked in, Master Chief was there, looking his usual grumpy self. I ignored him and the three of us stood in front of Darcy as she sat at her desk. I sounded off in military fashion, introducing our presence.
Darcy rocked in her chair. "Chambers, McClure, Walker, you guys did a great job on the Mojo. Well done."
"Thank you, ma'am," I replied. "It was our good fortune to be able to help meet the Navy's military objective and meet the submarine's deadline."
Master Chief went into a coughing fit. "Chambers, you're so full of shit. You sure you didn't just get lucky?"
I turned toward him. "Lucky? Master Chief, we're highly trained professionals. This is what we do for a living."
His forehead crinkled. "Enjoy it while you can, Chambers. You will fuck up and you know what
they say." He stared at me, but I sensed he didn't really want me to take a guess at what they say. His voice went deeper than usual. "You can build a thousand bridges, but that doesn't make you a bridge builder. But you suck one cock, and you're a cocksucker for life."
"Master Chief," Darcy snapped, slamming her palm on the desk. "Can you push your pearls of wit to one side for a moment?" She glowered at him.
He grumbled something else but I didn't quite catch it.
After a deep breath, she resumed. "Especially you, McClure. I heard you worked exceptionally hard down there. Well done."
Billy Earl lowered his head and donned a stupid grin, weaving his head from side to side. "Aw, shucks, ma'am. I just did my job, I ain't no glory seeker."
Darcy cracked a sly smirk. "Nevertheless, I'm putting in a letter of appreciation for all of you. It'll look good in your records. Well done, guys."
She dismissed George, but McClure and I hung back at her request.
She flicked a corner of her notepad as she spoke. "How long have you been in the Navy, McClure?"
Billy Earl pushed out his chest. "Nineteen years, ma'am."
She eyed him with a look of concern. "That's a long time. Why are you only a second class petty officer? You're only one year away from retirement, but still only an E-five. That's very slow progress. What's the story?"
Billy Earl shrugged. "Don't rightly know, ma'am. Reckon I'm just stupid."
Darcy looked at him sympathetically. "I don't buy that, McClure."
"I do," Master Chief blurted out.
Darcy rolled her eyes. "Do you mind, Master Chief?"
Master Chief stood up and grabbed his hat. "I'm going for a walk. Trust me, JG, the boy can't help it if God skimped on his brain cells."
Billy Earl beamed. "That's right, Master Chief. He blessed me with good looks instead. Cousin Linda Lou says—"
"Spare me the details, shit-for-brains," Master Chief barked. "I'm outta here." The door slammed as he left.