“Viv, I’m not sure.”
“I’ll gladly tell her,” Sierra piped in with a vindictive snarl on her face. “You’re off to Australia to live with Aunty Juliana and Uncle Hugo.”
My jaw shot open, and I’m pretty sure I felt it smack the ground. What. The. Actual. Fuck?
“What the hell? No! I’m not going!” I shouted, jumping to my feet and glaring at both my parents. How could they? Where’d they come up with that ridiculous idea anyway? Australia? Really? I hated that place.
“Harp, Mom and Dad didn’t have many other options, and Aunty Jules and Uncle Hugo are excited to have you visit,” Hawke replied in a calm voice. I knew he was only trying to help, but it wasn’t helping the situation right now.
“Shut up, Hawke!”
“Harper! Don’t speak to your brother like that!” my father scolded.
I ignored him and glared at my mother, since I knew it was all her idea. “Why do I have to go overseas? Can’t you just send me to rehab again?”
“No, you seem to enjoy it there. You need to get out of Florida and out of the spotlight. We should have thought about it before. I’ve already spoken with your agent and everyone at the L.A. studios; Marty agrees and said it’s for the best. The show doesn’t commence shooting the next season for another three months. You need to fix yourself if you want to go back, Harper. In the meantime, I’ve pulled you out of all your other upcoming projects, and your tour has been rescheduled for a much later date.”
“You can’t do that!” I hissed at her.
“I already did. There’ll be no acting or singing until you put an end to this ridiculous behavior. You’ll go and live with your aunty and uncle until they say it’s okay for you to come home.”
I couldn’t believe what was happening; they were actually going to send me abroad.
“I’m not going, Vivien!” I replied defiantly, crossing my arms at my chest. I didn’t care that I looked like a spoiled child, there was no way she was making me go; I was old enough to refuse.
“You will go!” Mom snapped back. “Or you can find another place to live and another way to survive out there in the world. This family has had enough of you. Ryder can’t have you, and I sure as hell don’t want you around my grandson. Sierra doesn’t want you, and there is no way I’m leaving you with Hawke and a bunch of testosterone-filled boys after those photos. You’ll embarrass him and ruin his career along with yours. Your father goes on tour in a few weeks, and I fly to Paris in a couple of days; I will not have you around either of us. You are a disgrace to this family, Harper! Those damn photos were the last straw. Do you think I enjoyed seeing my daughter photographed on her knees giving a man a blowjob and then having sex with him in the backseat of a car? If I knew I was going to lose Quinn and this was what I was in for, I would have stopped after having Hawke!”
“Vivien! That’s enough!” My father’s loud, angry voice vibrated around the room, silencing everyone.
I couldn’t take it anymore; each hurtful, venomous word pierced my heart. I wanted to cry but there were no tears, only anger. Before I could do or say anything stupid, I raced out of the room.
“Harper! We aren’t done yet!” my mother called out, but my father shouted, cutting her off. Good. It was about time Dad grew some balls.
I ignored it all, running as fast as I could toward my bedroom. I locked the door, grabbing the closest pillow and repeatedly punching it to help make the pain go away before collapsing onto my bed.
I wasn’t sure how many minutes or hours had passed before I heard a soft rap at my door.
“Fuck off!” I yelled out.
“Language, baby sis,” came Hawke’s voice from behind the locked door.
“Go away; I don’t want to talk to you!”
“Open the door and I will.”
Knowing how fortunate I was that it was only Hawke coming to talk and not my bitch of a mother, or any other member of the family, for that matter, I got up and unlocked the door for him.
“What do you want?” I asked once he stepped foot inside. I made sure I re-locked the door once he entered.
“Do you want to tell me who the guy is in the photographs?”
“No.” With a frown, I walked back over to the bed and sat down with my legs crossed. Hawke followed me and took a seat beside me.
“It’s the police officer, isn’t it?”
My head shot up, surprised Hawke knew about Nicolas. “What makes you think it’s him?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Harp, but you’ve had that guy up on a pedestal since forever. Anyone who bothered to pay enough attention to you would’ve seen that. He’s been your savior many times, and you just did what you thought was best.”
“What? Seduce him and have sex with him?”
He shrugged. “I guess it’s your way of saying thank you.”
“That’s a pretty warped way of saying thanks.” A giggle escaped me, which made a smile curve on Hawke’s mouth.
He tilted his head slightly as if pondering something. “Well, yeah, but we all have our quirks. You use male interaction as a form of escape, but let me guess, with him it was different, am I right?”
I nodded slowly, not sure how I felt about having this kind of conversation with my very own brother.
“That’s because the connection you have with him is stronger than any of the others. When you went after him, it wasn’t to numb the pain; it was to give back for all the times he was there for you, but the only way you knew how to do that was through sex.”
“Okay, this is slightly creepy hearing you speak about this sort of stuff, Hawke,” I pointed out with an awkward smile on my face.
“I know, but I’m just glad I get to see your smiling face again. Come here.”
Before I had the chance to move, he grabbed me with his great, huge arms and gave me one of his brotherly bear hugs. I loved my brother unconditionally and was thankful to have him; he seemed to be the only one in this messed-up world that appreciated me for me.
“Go to Australia, Harp. You need the break. I know you’re not willing to tell me everything about what’s going on with you, but the trip will get you out of this scene. Stardom makes people crazy, why do you think I chose to follow a different path?” he spoke into my hair.
“Because you’re as big and as tough as a brick house?”
“Ha. Ha. Funny.” He laughed, his arms still wrapped around me. “In all seriousness, Harp, I think going to Australia will help you to heal.”
It often surprised me knowing how perceptive Hawke was about many things. There was a deeper side to him. He was so much more than just a football jock with impressive muscles.
“You should have been a therapist. I’ve opened up to you more than I have in the four years with Dr. Saunders.”
I felt Hawke laugh against me before he pulled away and stared at me with a serious expression. “Harper, listen to me carefully. You need to open up to Dr. Saunders, that’s what she’s there for, to help you. She can’t do that if you aren’t willing to speak to her. I know you miss Quinn. I miss her too, but things were going well for a while for you until you tried to take your own life.” Hawke noticed me tense but continued, “You’ve been completely different since. When you’re not drunk you’re high on other things. It’s like you aren’t you anymore. I’m not going to force it out of you, Harp, but you need to talk. If not to me then at the very least to your therapist.”
“I’ll think about it… Thanks for coming to talk to me, Hawke.”
I could tell he wanted more from me, but he knew better than to push. “What are older brothers for?” he decided on saying in the end with a small, worried smile.
Forcing a smile on my face, I threw my arms around him. “Tell the evil queen Vivien that I’ll go to stupid Australia.”
He let out a loud laugh. “You have to stop calling her that.”
I let go and leaned back, resting on my hands with my smile turning into a smirk. “Never.”
Hawke laughed again before shaking his head. “Of course you won’t. Anyway, I’m proud of you, baby sis. I’ll even sneak in a few quick visits, just don’t tell Mom.”
“Promise?” I asked hopeful.
“Have I ever broken a single promise to you?”
That was easy to answer. No.
“So, this cousin of yours, how long is she going to be staying with you for?”
The sports tape I was using to strap my injured ankle slipped from my fingers and fell to the locker room floor, rolling a few feet away before I bent down and scooped it up. Straightening, I turned to my teammate, Jon, who was sitting beside me, and threw him a wary glance.
We had just finished footy training for the morning and were cleaning ourselves up for our next important duty. Today was the day the entire team spent the afternoon at the Sydney Children’s Hospital. We held several of these kinds of events throughout the year, but visiting the sick children had always been my favorite. I was pretty pumped for it. Not only did I love spending time with the little rug-rats, but it was also something that hit very close to home.
“How did you hear about that?” I asked, because I certainly didn’t tell him.
“My sister.” Jon shrugged. “She hasn’t stopped squealing about it since she heard. It’s doing my head in at home.”
Damn it, Blake! My younger brother was about to get knocked the hell out the next time I saw him. Obviously, ‘top secret’ meant nothing to the idiot.
“Don’t even go there, Simons,” I warned.
“Whatever are you talking about, Hayward?” An impish grin spread across Jon’s pale face. God, he was irritating sometimes.
I hadn’t seen my so-called cousin in four years, not since her twin sister drowned and my whole family flew to Miami to attend the funeral. Since we lived on the other side of the world, we didn’t see much of the Hudson family. My mum and Aunty Viv were sisters and often kept in touch over the phone. Whenever Aunt Viv was in the country, she’d stay for a short visit. Other than that, our ridiculously famous relatives were pretty much strangers. I’d only ever met the two older cousins, Ryder and Sierra, twice my entire life; Hawke and the twins, Harper and Quinn, were a different story. The girls were too young to leave behind and seemed to be very attached to their brother, so whenever Uncle Jimmy toured Australia or Aunt Viv promoted a new film, the three younger children spent their time staying with my family in Sydney while their parents did their thing around the country.
They were nothing like me or my younger siblings. From what I remembered of the three Hudson children, they were all spoiled and constantly demanded outrageous things. Hawke was a narcissistic arse, while the two girls were bad-mannered brats. Unlike them, we didn’t grow up having housemaids, chefs or even nannies to order around and disrespect, but we did have a nice house and our own fair share of money. No matter what I thought about them, it still saddened me to hear about Quinn. And it pained me to know the Hudson family remained unaware of the truth about what happened to her. But I know.
I couldn’t understand where my sudden protective urge over Harper came from. Or why I was warning my friend and fellow teammate to stay away from her. I barely knew the girl. I knew she’d messed up pretty badly this time, which is what made her parents force her to come and stay with us for a while. From what I’d heard about over the years in the media, her life was one big wreck. Gossip magazines loved her down here; everybody knew how crazy and scandalous her life was and took joy in writing about every dirty little secret.
“Just… stay away. She’s a train wreck,” I finally answered. “I can’t believe my parents agreed to her staying with us.”
Jon snorted. “She’s a bloody-hot train wreck, mate. All I’m going to promise is I won’t touch, but if she attempts to go for me, I’m not going to stop her.”
I let out a frustrated groan and went back to strapping my ankle.
Jon was such a dick sometimes, but I couldn’t blame him. Being a professional athlete meant women flocked to us. I mean, they literally threw themselves at us whenever they got the chance. Jon was an attractive guy and knew how to work his charm to his advantage. Harper might not buy into the act, but I got the feeling she wasn’t the type to say no.
“Come on, boys! What the hell is taking you all so long?” Coach Hammond’s loud voice boomed through the change room.
“Comin’, Coach. Give us five,” a voice called out. I glanced over and saw it was Matt, one of the senior boys. He came walking out from the shower room butt-naked, using the towel to dry his hair. It was a normal sight and didn’t faze me in the slightest. It was just something we were used to seeing and if it wasn’t, we had to learn pretty quickly.
“You don’t have five minutes; we need to leave in three!” Coach ordered. Voices called out that we were ‘coming’ and everyone promptly picked up their pace; nobody ever wanted to get on the coach’s bad side.
I ripped the tape with my fingers, firmly patted the end down, and then quickly threw on the club’s official light-blue polo shirt with the Waratahs emblem on the left breast pocket and headed for my sports bag.
I was the second-youngest player on the squad; two years older than the youngest, Damo, who had just signed with us this season and had celebrated his nineteenth birthday a week ago. It sure was great not being labeled the ‘kid’ anymore.
****
“This is going to kill me,” Jon whispered as we stepped off the team bus in front of the hospital.
“I warned you about drinking too much last night,” I replied without turning to face him. I was busy smiling at all the little faces curious and eager to meet us.
“Shut up. Learn to drink more than a couple of drinks, Hayward, and you’ll know what I’m talking about.”
“Having listened to the way you complain constantly, I’m not in any rush to start,” I retorted. That was one huge lie. No one knew about my struggle with alcohol; in fact, I hid it so well, not even my parents knew about it. If Coach ever found out, I’d get dropped from the squad quick smart. ‘Studying’ was often my excuse to lock myself in my room and drink myself into oblivion. I had a problem that I was well aware of, but with all the stress at university and the secrets I had locked away, it was a much easier option to drink away my issues.
Jon grunted then stretched his neck and rolled it from side to side. I could hear the sound of it crack with each move he made and forced myself not to roll my eyes.
A firm smack on my arse distracted me, and I automatically turned to my left just as James, our captain, stepped into view. “Look how excited the little critters are. They’re just so damn cute!” A giant grin stretched across his face.
I held a great deal of respect for James. He was one of the veterans of the club, a great captain, and an all-round nice guy. He had a wife, a family of his own, and adored children; you could see it on his face whenever we did things like this or when his kids came to watch the games.
“Quick, let’s go say hi. I bet they’re just waiting for you to kick that damn ball around, Jackson. They always love you, mate.”
“We could give them a quick game?” I suggested, turning to face James.
“Sounds good to me, let’s round them up.” With another firm slap, this time on my back, James walked toward the excited children.
I smiled and followed him with Jon hot on my heel.
The day went by smoothly. First, I went up and sat with the kids too sick to leave the room. I read them stories and we drew pictures together. I was touched when one of the girls handed me a drawing, saying it was me in my jersey with a football in my hand, and told me I could keep it. I picked up a pen and wrote a little message in the corner of the drawing before signing it.
Hannah, whenever you are feeling sad or scared, I want you to look up at this picture and remember that I am always thinking of you. Love, Jackson, your No.1 fan. Xxx
I handed the drawing back and told the little girl she should keep it and stick it on the wall above
her bed. I explained it would be as if I was watching over her. She gave me a quick smile before dropping her head and began scribbling away again. This time, she drew a picture of herself. I melted like a crazy idiot when she handed the finished result over to me, and said with a shy smile, it was so I’d remember her.
Only two arguments, that were easily resolved, broke out during the friendly game of catch we had out in the gardens. It felt natural speaking to the children, and I wondered if this was how I’d be when I eventually decided to have children of my own. I’d spoil them rotten, that much was true.
I arrived home exhausted from a long but truly satisfying day. Grabbing my sports bag from the passenger seat of my black Hilux utility truck, I threw the strap over my shoulder and made my way toward the house.
Just as I closed the door, I heard my eight-year-old sister, Madison, scream out my name. I heard her way before I saw her racing over. Still dressed in a purple leotard and ballet flats from dance class, she crashed into me with full force and attached herself around my waist. “Maddie!” I replied, mirroring her excited tone. My free arm wrapped around her petite body as she clung to me while I walked.
“You’re not going to believe who’s in our house!” Her big, chocolate-brown eyes were wide and shining.
“Hannah Montana?”
I laughed when her tiny face scrunched up. “You’re so silly. Her real name is Miley Cyrus and no, it’s not her.”
I knew she was talking about Harper, but I enjoyed joking around with her. “I give up. I can’t keep up with all the TV shows you watch, Maddie.” I re-adjusted her so she was resting against my hip. “Jeez, you’re getting way too big to be carried; you’re going to snap my arm off,” I teased, earning yet another frown from my baby sister.
“Maybe you just haven’t been training hard enough, fatso.” She giggled then hid her face, blushing when I raised an eyebrow at her.
“Oh, is that right? Maybe we should see about that. How ‘bout I see if I can throw you from here all the way into the next room?”
All That Matters Page 3