I stared at him open mouthed, feeling my skin burn with embarrassment. I was certain that I would have turned every shade of red in the last few seconds and that I must have been a glowing crimson shade now.
“All these weeks you remembered?”
“Yes,” he said with more insistence. “So yes, we are most definitely fooling around.”
I brought my hands up to my cheeks and sighed. “I have to go.”
Josh caught me before I could flee and pulled me close to his bare chest.
“I liked it.” He smiled.
“You were drunk.”
“Doesn’t matter. I liked it, and I like you.” He held my gaze and pulled me even closer.
I couldn’t move out of the enchantment he placed on me. It was the way he looked at me with that intense desire and want.
I’d be lying to myself if I said I didn’t feel desire and want for him too. But then I had to remind myself that this was the same Joshua Mancini who managed to get under my skin so badly when I first met him. And then he wasn’t just involved with one woman, there was always two women upstairs in his bed for a massive chunk of that first week I was here.
Why would I just want to be an addition to his collection?
“You’re bored, and to my knowledge you haven’t seen Allegra and bed friends in a while. You should call them. It’s Friday night, you have my seal of approval to go out and have fun. But no drinking.”
He laughed and shook his head. “That’s bullshit, Amy. All of it. You know if I wanted to be with Allegra and bed friends they would be here. So stop resisting me, baby. Clearly I want you, and I know you want me, too.” A slow sensuous smile curved his lips.
“I…don’t want you.” I didn’t even know why I bothered; anyone would be able to see very clearly that I was lying.
He answered with a laugh, then reached out to touch my face again. “Okay, prove it. If you don’t want me go back to work.”
It was probably the last chance, but he knew just as well as I did that I wasn’t going anywhere. He gave me a few seconds, though, to make the decision, then his smile widened at my hesitation.
I couldn’t help myself. Again it was his look that got to me. That paralyzing look that captivated me and held me in place. I pressed my hand to the hard planes of his chest, savoring the solid ripple of muscle I felt as he slipped his arm around my waist.
“Come here, baby.”
Any last thought of resistance melted away beneath his stare and I tilted my head up as he lowered to my lips, welcoming his kiss. This was wrong, I knew that, but the emotions I suppressed for him eradicated logic from my mind. All I wanted to do was enjoy running my hands over his body and to feel him touch me too.
As the kiss intensified he moved with me over to the sofa where he pulled me down into his lap, meeting the hungry kisses he fed me with the same unsated desire. He tasted good to me, like everything I wanted and needed mixed with lustful desire.
Heat radiated from my body and warmed me from the inside out. As he ran his hands over my waist, I molded myself to him, encouraging him to touch me. And touch my he did. He slid his hands up to my breasts and squeezed me gently, leaving a trail of fire on my skin in the wake of his ascent. Jolts of pleasure surged through me , parting my lips as a soft moan escaped me . I pulled in a breath to steady my mind.
“You like that,” he whispered against my lips and gave me that mischievous smile.
“Josh, we shouldn’t.” It was the last attempt of my brain to keep our relationship professional.
“We should, baby.” He ran his fingers over my already tight, taut nipples, driving me wild. “Tonight we’re just a guy and a girl who like each other. We can be that, right?”
I should say no, but it would be a lie, and it would be against what I wanted.
“Yes.” That was it. That was my raw need for him talking and there was no coming back.
His lips fused to mine again, ravaging me with kisses I felt all over my body. Electricity sparked off me in droves as he kissed his way down my neck and squeezed my breasts. No one had ever touched me like this before. The men I’d been with wouldn’t know how.
“Let me see you, baby,” he said against the hollow in my neck , his warm breath caressing my skin and scattering my nerves.
His blue-green eyes met mine with a lustful, hungry look, then returned to my breasts.
“Yes,” I barely managed the reply. On my word, he slid the straps of my top down, revealing my bra. He moved my back into the sofa so I was resting against its padded back, then with one quick snap he undid the butterfly clasp holding my bra together and eased the lacy cup aside.
I watched his desire for me intensify as my breasts spilled out.
“God, baby, you’re beautiful,” he breathed, sexual heat heavy in his voice.
I went to answer but found myself unable to as his lips smoothed over my left nipple with tantalizing possessiveness. My breast surged at the intimacy of his touch as he drew me into his mouth. A groan of satisfaction slipped from my lips, begging him to continue, and continue he did to my other breast.
The gentle massage of his tongue sent currents of desire through me, making me want more. His hands moved down the length of my back, over my skirt, and crept back up my thighs. Instinctively my body arched into him and moved back as he released me, allowing him to follow me as I lay down.
Our lips met again and my skin burned at his touched. His untamed touch that awakened the woman in me, igniting something I didn’t know existed.
“Beautiful Amy,” he whispered into my ear as he hooked his finger into the lace of my panties and tugged on the edge to slide them down.
My stomach clenched as his body crowded mine and he was so close I could feel the hard bulge of his arousal. I gasped for air as he ran his hands across the already heated skin of my stomach and tried to remove my clothes.
But just then the house phone started ringing. At first I thought I imagined it, but as it sounded I realized it was real. It chimed into the haze of our passion, bringing me out of my lust-filled, intoxicated mind.
Josh stopped in his tracks and looked over to the phone on the side table. A solemn expression filled his face as he gazed ahead and turned pale as the answering machine clicked on and the voice of his father came on.
“Hey son.” His voice sounded frail. I didn’t know him but I recognized a pained voice when I heard it. “Just seeing how you are. It would be nice to see you. I just want to see you. Call me if you want to talk.”
Josh moved off me. Desire still pounded through my veins but I was hoping he’d go over to the phone. He didn’t. He just sat there staring ahead and allowed the phone to switch off.
I fixed myself, putting my bra back together and adjusting my top back to how it was.
“Josh.”
His eyes darkened with emotion as he looked at me. I slid over to him and rested my hands on the wide muscles of his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. My dad, um…” He looked away, unable to finish.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. You have no idea how badly I want you.” His eyes locked on mine and I felt like he was staring right through all the barriers of protection I’d placed around my heart.
I couldn’t help the emotion that swirled through me as I said, “I want you too. But we should take things slowly.”
We needed to, because I felt like my head was going to explode, and I had a lot of things to get around my poor head before I even contemplated venturing down this road with him.
“You’re not sure about me.” Hurt added to the pain in his eyes.
“It’s not that.” It definitely wasn’t that. There wasn’t a question in my mind as to how sure I was about him, and that was the worrying part. It was like my heart could skip over everything I needed to consider and jump to the part where I wanted to give into that carnal desire I had for him.
“Then what is it?”
“It’s ne
w.” That was the best explanation I could come up with, and it was the truth. Being with him was new to me. Not only had I never been with a man with such a strong personality like him, but he was a star athlete who everyone knew. Men wanted to be him and women came in multitudes to fall at his feet, begging him to take them. There was a reason why all those magazines wanted him.
He continued to gaze at me, looking at me like he didn’t understand.
“It’s new, and you’re you, and I’m me.”
“What’s wrong with that?” His eyes searched mine.
There was everything wrong with it but I couldn’t say that to him. I wouldn’t hurt him more than he looked.
I’d done such a great job at avoiding feeling like this. Feeling my heart respond to someone who I had no control over. Feeling my pulse leap every time he looked at me.
There was too much going on to deal with this right now.
“It’s new, Josh, and I …I, need slow right now.”
The other overarching thing was obviously why I was here. Why I was working for him. Over the last few weeks I’d had several chances to tell him about my mother. Several opportunities to talk about myself. Thankfully we were kept busy with trying to sort out his problems.
The last thing I wanted him to think was that I helped him the way I did because of the money. It would break my heart if he thought that.
At first I’d come for the money and that goal to get all that I was promised, but that was in the extremely initial stages. Things changed, and my feelings changed. Right now I’d jumped so far over the line of professionalism that I couldn’t see it, and even if I could I didn’t know if I could go back over it.
“Slow,” he muttered.
“Yes. Josh, you have other things to worry about. Your father is probably at the top of the list.”
He looked away again and sighed. “I can’t speak to him, Amy. I want to, and I wish I could see him, but I don’t know if I can.”
“You should try.” I’d heard his father call a few times now. He always said the same things, and Josh always treated him the same. He always allowed the answering machine to pick up. “He sounded terrible.”
Josh turned to face me. “Amy, my parents were madly in love with each other. Every memory I have of them is filled with it. They were always together, hardly ever argued, and when they did it was over nonsense. Sometimes it was embarrassing, but it made me realize that people really can feel that way about each other.”
All I could do was look at him and listen. I didn’t know how to comment because I’d had the complete opposite in my life. My mother definitely loved my father, but he was a useless jerk who left his family practically on the streets with nothing. He didn’t love my mother or his children. All he cared about was himself.
“That’s beautiful,” I told him.
“It is. And while I may be finding ways to deal with my guilt, I don’t know how to face him feeling like I took the love of his life away.”
I put my arms around him and he pulled me close to his chest. “You didn’t, Josh. You didn’t take them away.”
He leaned in and kissed my forehead.
I ran my hands across his chest. “You should talk to your dad. You really should.”
“I’ll prepare myself to call him.” He pulled away from me so he could look at me . “Amy, you can say no, but do you think you could stay with me. I just…need you.”
Staying would place my right in the den of my intense attraction to him, but I would stay if he needed me. Besides, it sure would be nice to be somewhere safe and comfortable.
“Of course I’ll stay.”
That seemed to really cheer him up. He took both my hands, brought them up to his lips, and kissed my knuckles.
“Thank you.” He smiled, then narrowed his eyes at me. “So, does slow mean not doing anything?”
I smiled at that. “No.” My cheeks warmed as the mischief returned to his eyes.
“Can we do what we did tonight, just…slowly?” He went to touch my waist and I swatted his hands away.
“No.” I giggled.
“This is real torture, baby. So what can we do? You can’t expect me to just stare at you from afar like some weirdo.”
I laughed then reached out to hold his jaw. “Come here.”
His smile widened as I directed him back to my lips and kissed him.
“We can kiss.”
He smiled against my lips.
“Before nine and after five.”
“Okay. I’ll try this.” He pulled me onto his lap again to kiss me properly.
Chapter 14
Amy
* * *
We had a really good weekend. It was the best I’d had in a very, very long time. I ended up staying for the whole time and I loved being with Josh.
I also loved being in his house and not having to go back to my horrible shoebox of an apartment, with those creepy men.
My excitement and lovely weekend was, however, short lived. On Monday afternoon I got a call from Dr. Carson. Mom contracted pneumonia so any plans for surgery had to be postponed until she got better.
Until then Dr. Carson was keeping a close eye on her with a course of strong antibiotics. I was grateful that Mom was getting such good care, but I would have been happier to have the surgery out of the way. Waiting meant still being in the danger zone and further deterioration. However, waiting was what she needed now because her body wouldn’t be able to go through such an intense, invasive procedure with pneumonia. So once again I had to gather faith and strength.
As I was leaving Josh’s house the next day we got a surprise visit. I opened the door and found a man standing on the porch. He was just about to ring the bell.
It was Josh’s father. I’d seen pictures of him, but seeing him standing before me displayed the wealth of similarities he shared with Josh. Josh was the spitting image of him. Same piercing-blue turquoise eyes, same strong features, same build, height, and smile.
“Hi, I’m—”
“Dad?” Josh said from behind me. I turned and saw him.
He’d been in the basement working out in the gym. His hair was dripping with sweat and his white jersey clung to his chest.
“Hi son.” His father gave Josh a tentative look, then returned his gaze to me. “I’m sorry, I can see that you were leaving.”
“Oh, it’s fine. It’s really great to meet you.” I shook his hand. “I should go, though, and leave you two.”
Josh caught my hand and tugged me back towards him. “No, stay.” He then bent down and whispered to my ear. “Can you hang back for a while?” He looked nervous.
I nodded. “Sure.”
He squeezed my hand looking grateful.
* * *
Josh
* * *
I took Amy into the kitchen while Dad waited in the living room.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that. Did you have plans?” I should have asked her properly before practically dragging her back into the house.
“I was just going to brush my hair.” She giggled.
I reached for a lock of her silky hair and held the ends between my fingers.
“I can brush your hair for you.” This was the way we’d been since Friday. A continuous flirt cycle where she teased me painlessly with her beauty and I tried to keep my desires under control. Yes, I hoped for more, but this was fine.
“I’ll hold you to that.” She smiled sweetly. “Now go talk to your dad. You’ll be fine. I’ll bring in tea in half an hour or so.”
“You aren’t going to bring in tea because you want to check out my dad are you?”
Her bright green eyes widened and her cheeks turned that sweet rose color. “No, of course not.”
I chuckled, enjoying her protests.
“He looks like you, a lot.”
“Okay, well just remember I’m the real deal. And heck, I saw you first.”
“Oh Lord.” She rolled her eyes and walked
into the office. “Don’t keep him waiting,” she called back over her shoulder.
No, I wouldn’t. I’d kept Dad waiting long enough. For months.
I entered the living room and looked across at my father sitting in the armchair. He I straightened up on seeing me and offered a smile. I sat in front of him and tried to think of what to say.
“How are you doing?” Dad asked.
“Better.” I had made a full turnaround of my life. When I looked back to the mess of a person I was weeks ago, it made me feel good that I’d accomplished so much. I was training with the team and doing incredibly well with them, I’d given up alcohol completely and had done a full course of treatment with a therapist who’d worked wonders with me, and I didn’t have that doomed outlook I used to have of life. I was by no means a hundred percent, quite far from it, but I hoped to get there one day. Seeing my father was the last challenge. I’d geared myself up for the last few days to call him and planned to do it tomorrow, but this was good, even though I was still uneasy as hell.
“I’m happy to hear that.” My father nodded.
“How are you doing?” The last time I was this close to him, I’d watched him sob by the gravesite, inconsolable. It was one of the most heart-wrenching moments of my life.
“Better too. Clarissa’s birthday was hard.” I nodded. “Everything’s been hard, but what’s been harder is not seeing you. I really, really miss my son.”
Sometimes I wondered how he could offer me such pure, unrequited love that was never ending and unconditional. Especially since I had treated him so badly. He’d called me every day, and I had cowered away, hiding under my grief.
“I miss you, too, Dad.” I focused on him, focusing on the wealth of love I saw displayed in my father’s eyes and felt a sense of calm fill me. “I’m sorry for not coming to see you.”
“Son, I understand why you took everything so hard. I do, but you have to stop shutting me out. I’ve tried to do what works for you. I’ve stayed away, I’ve tried to visit, I’ve called you, and now I’m here.” He sounded desperate.
Play of Love: The Gladiator Players Box Set Page 15