by Brenda Novak
“I don’t care about that. I have the freedom. Whatever you need. Call me and I’ll come.”
She smiled at the reassurance his support gave her. As soon as she got word from her doctor, she’d have Baxter pick her up and bring her to the farm—and she’d get through the long hours in between by thinking of that moment.
Her cell phone rang. Although she’d either ignored or slept through several earlier calls, this one she had to take. She raised a finger to let Baxter know not to open the door.
“Hi, Mom. How are you?”
“I’m fine. How are you?”
“Great, why?” She wondered why her mother would be calling. They’d talked just a few hours ago. Diana was the one person Callie had contacted herself. She’d been checking in religiously since she went to visit last week.
“I heard from Kyle a minute ago,” her mother said.
Callie sent Baxter an uneasy glance. “What’d he have to say?”
“I guess that Levi fellow who’s been staying at the farm is at his place.”
Bracing her weight on one hand, Callie propped herself up. “What for?”
“He’s worried about you, said you’ve been gone all day.”
“I have been gone all day. I told you earlier. I’m in San Francisco with Baxter, remember?”
“I explained that, but he didn’t seem convinced. He said he had no idea you were going to leave town.”
Callie eased herself back. Her stomach was still tender. She didn’t want to do anything to make her condition worse. “I forgot to mention it to him. Then I didn’t want to wake him. But I left a note.”
“From what I can tell, it didn’t say much.”
“I was in a hurry. Would you like to talk to Bax? He’s right here with me.”
Baxter’s eyes went wide. He didn’t like the idea of lying to her mother, especially about this. But Diana stopped her before she could hand him the phone, anyway.
“There’s no need for that. Your dad and I, we just wanted to double-check that everything’s okay.”
“Of course it’s okay.” She winced at a sudden avalanche of guilt. But she was only asking for a few more days, she reminded herself—just until Levi was gone. “It’s fine, good.”
“Okay. Tell Bax we said hello.”
“He says hi, too.”
“’Night, honey.”
Baxter was shaking his head when she hung up, but his phone went off before he could voice his thoughts. “Here we go.”
“What?”
“It’s Kyle.”
“Answer it.”
His dark eyebrows drew together in a frown. “I don’t want to answer it.”
“You have to!”
“Shit!”
“Hurry!” she prodded.
He punched the talk button and immediately put his cell on speakerphone so she could hear. “Hello?”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone you and Callie were taking a trip together?” Kyle asked without preamble.
Baxter cleared his throat. “Didn’t think of it. She was...she was supposed to come out here over a week ago, for lunch, but we decided that...you know, to make a day of it instead. It’s summer, after all, and neither of us really has a vacation planned.”
“Hi, Kyle!” Callie chipped in to let him know she was in on the conversation.
“Why haven’t you two been answering your phones?” he asked.
Baxter fielded this one. “We were out sailing, so we left them in the car.”
“Sailing.”
“That’s right.”
Callie wondered if Levi was still at Kyle’s. “So what’s going on with you?”
“The rest of us have been working.”
If he only knew what she’d really been doing....
“Hang on,” he said. “Someone wants to talk to you.”
Levi came on next. “Callie?”
She pressed her fingertips to her temple. “Hi.”
“You couldn’t have told me you were leaving town?”
Hearing the pique in Levi’s voice, she relied on what she’d told her mother. “I’m sorry. I planned to be home tonight, but...we just got off the water, so...”
“The water?”
He hadn’t heard the sailing part. “Baxter has a friend here who owns a sailboat. We spent a...a beautiful afternoon on the bay. It was so...peaceful.” She couldn’t even guess what the weather might really be like. The Bay Area wasn’t far, but San Francisco weather seemed independent of every other place. It could be cold and rainy there right now, but he wasn’t any more likely to know than she was. And she could imagine a day like she’d described; in fact, she planned to have one exactly like it if she lived long enough.
“I see.” His words were stilted, as if he wasn’t pleased.
“I should’ve been clearer. I’m sorry. I really didn’t think it would matter to you one way or the other.”
“Wouldn’t matter if something happened to you?”
“I didn’t think you’d assume the worst,” she hurried to say. “Anyway, since it’s so late, we’re going to grab dinner and stay until tomorrow, if that’s okay. Do you—do you think you could look after Rifle for me?”
“Of course.”
“And the glass company. They’re coming out to fix the window in the morning.”
“I’ll be there.” But he didn’t sound happy about it.
Fortunately Baxter jumped in. “You’ll have to come sailing with us next time, Levi. I think you’d enjoy it.”
He’d contributed at the perfect time, made what she’d said convincing enough that Levi seemed to fall for it. Or else he didn’t want to reveal any more of his displeasure with Baxter listening in. Either way, Baxter had just gotten her out of a tight spot. She flashed him a grateful smile.
“Thanks,” Levi said. “Maybe someday I will.”
As she expected, his response was noncommittal, but it ended the conversation on a polite note. They all said goodbye, then Callie closed her eyes. “I hate this,” she grumbled.
Apparently no longer frustrated with her, Baxter took her hand. “You’re going to get through it.”
Not without a new liver she wouldn’t.
22
Callie was home by noon the next day. She was looking forward to seeing Levi. He was all she’d thought about. But she didn’t have a travel bag, which she would’ve packed had she really taken a trip to San Francisco. With her hair barely combed and no makeup on, it was also pretty obvious that she hadn’t showered as she would’ve done had she been on vacation in the city. She had had none of her stuff—just a toothbrush and a few other necessities that Baxter had gone out and purchased before leaving the hospital last night. It wasn’t as if she’d had time to prepare before rushing to the emergency room. There were a number of details that could’ve given her away.
But her concern over whether or not Levi would notice turned out to be unwarranted. Although Rifle greeted her when she let herself into the house and she could see that the window had been fixed, Levi wasn’t around. He’d put a note on the fridge where she’d left hers.
“Working at the Gas-N-Go. See you tonight.” As soon as she spotted it, she recalled Joe’s messages. He must’ve figured out how to get through to Levi on his own. She hadn’t remembered to tell Levi when they talked so briefly while he was at Kyle’s, and she’d had no way to contact him after.
“Everything okay?” Baxter came into the kitchen behind her.
“Great, actually. Levi’s in town.”
“That gives you some breathing room, huh?” They’d been discussing how to handle the various questions he might ask.
“Now I can settle in, rest a bit more and shower before I see him.” She’d also have time to call her parents, assure them she was home safe and chat as long as they wanted. She’d had to keep their conversations brief when she was in the hospital in case they overheard a doctor being paged on the intercom or something.
Rifle whined to get her attention,
so she crouched to pet him. “I’m home, buddy. Everything’s okay. For the moment, anyway.”
“I’ve got to go,” Baxter said.
Callie stood to give him a hug. “Thanks, Bax. For everything.”
He held her a second longer than usual. “I’m glad you told me what you’re going through. I’m grateful I get to spend this time with you.”
She knew what he was saying about the other people in her life. He was telling her they’d feel the same way. But then he added something she didn’t expect.
“Still, I have to admit...if I had the chance to be with Noah the way you’ve got this chance to be with Levi, I’d take it,” he said. “You have every right to do what makes you happy. So enjoy it and don’t feel guilty.”
“What made you change your mind?” she asked as he let her go.
“I couldn’t understand how he could mean so much to you in such a short time, but—” he kissed her cheek “—you’ve made a believer out of me.”
* * *
Levi was anxious to return to the farm. He hadn’t seen Callie since he’d carried her to bed from the shower. He’d thought of her, though—almost constantly—but not for the reasons he’d expected to. Surprisingly, he felt no remorse for getting involved with her. The opposite was actually true. It was as if he’d finally broken free from everything that had held him captive for the past two years, as if the soldier he’d been in Afghanistan had died.
He wanted to bury that much younger man and never look back. He knew Behrukh would want him to go on without her and be happy. But he’d known that all along. So what had changed? Was he merely giving himself an excuse to do what he wanted?
Maybe. Believing that Behrukh would approve certainly seemed convenient. But he’d already slept with Callie once. He didn’t see how stopping would change anything. He doubted he’d be able to keep his hands off her, anyway. That one encounter had been far too brief....
He saw her in the kitchen window as he turned down the drive. At the sound of his motorcycle, she looked up and smiled—and he was hit with a deluge of testosterone.
Heart pounding in anticipation, he got off his bike and strode to the house.
She met him at the door. “How was work?”
“Fine. I made another two hundred dollars.”
“Good news. You need some clothes.”
Right now, he felt like the only thing he needed was her.
She stepped back to let him in, as if she wasn’t quite sure how to greet him.
He wanted to touch her, to draw her into his arms. But he’d been fixing cars all day, and although he’d washed his hands with the special soap at the garage, he had grease on his clothes.
He offered her an apologetic smile. “I’m dirty.”
“I can see that,” she said with a chuckle, but then her eyes locked with his and he knew she didn’t want to wait a second longer.
Fortunately, neither did he.
“It seemed like you were gone forever,” he told her and, taking her hand, led her into the bedroom.
* * *
They showered together, only this time they both peeled off their clothes before getting in. Callie laughed as Levi hurried to scrub up. He managed to get mostly clean before she gave him somewhere else to put his hands. She didn’t care if he’d gotten every last smudge. She figured a girl who didn’t have very long to live was justified in her impatience. What did a little grease matter in the face of that?
“Anxious, huh?” he teased with a laugh. But he quit laughing when she arched a challenging eyebrow and lathered up their stomachs. As soon as he felt her against him, he sucked in a breath and said, “Okay, you win.”
After that, everything moved fast. They were out of the shower and kissing up against the wall, the vanity, the door, before they reached the bed.
There, she tried to pull him down on top of her, but he resisted. “I owe you something first,” he told her. Then he smiled as he nudged her legs apart and lowered his head.
* * *
Callie was determined to live in the moment. She refused to think about anything else—the stint in the hospital that had come before or everything that would likely come after. For now, she felt completely content and fulfilled and didn’t want the slightest detail to change.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Levi murmured.
They’d been in bed since he got home nearly three hours ago. They hadn’t even bothered to get up and eat. At one point, she’d finally gone to the kitchen to remove their dinner from the oven, but by then it was too late. They could still smell the charred remains of the roast she’d been cooking, despite having opened all the windows.
But even the loss of her great meal did nothing to tarnish her happiness.
“Callie?”
He’d asked her a question. Pulling herself out of her thoughts, she briefly pressed her lips to his chest. “The Thorn Birds.”
“The what?”
“It’s a novel, a sort of epic historical. My mother gave me a copy when I was in high school. It’s one of her all-time favorites.”
He lifted her chin so he could look into her face. “What made you think of it?”
She admired the thick fringe of lashes that framed his eyes. “There was something in that book about a mythical bird that spends its whole life searching for thorn trees. When it finds the perfect thorn, it impales itself.”
“Why would it do that?”
“I don’t remember, but it’s while dying that it sings its most beautiful song.”
He covered a yawn. “Sounds depressing.”
“In a way, but sometimes pain and loss are worth a moment like that, don’t you think?”
He shifted so he could nuzzle her neck. “Let’s just say I’m not tempted to read it.”
She smiled at his response.
“Why did you think of suicidal birds right now, anyway?” he asked.
Closing her eyes, she tried to commit every detail of how he felt to memory. She was going to need those positive associations later, to sustain her through the hard times. “I really liked the book.”
He leaned over her. “I have bad news.”
Instinctively, she stiffened. Was this where he said he was about to move on? That he’d be leaving in the morning?
She knew it was coming....
“Whoa, relax,” he said, obviously noticing her reaction. “I shouldn’t have put it like that. I was just going to say that now we’ve let our dinner burn, I’m hungry.”
She chuckled. “I’m not surprised.”
“What about you? Any interest in food?”
“Not too much. I have some peanut butter and jelly, though. I can make sandwiches.”
She started to get up, but he pulled her back. “You’re not trying to lose weight, are you?”
This time she was more careful about hiding her reaction. “Not really. Why?”
“You look thinner than the pictures I’ve seen of you. And most of your clothes are fitting pretty loosely.”
She shrugged as if it was nothing to be concerned about. “I had a few pounds to lose.”
“So you’re okay?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Sometimes...sometimes you seem so tired.”
She caught her breath. “We’ve missed a lot of sleep in the past couple of weeks.”
“This is different. It’s more like...weariness. When I see it in your face, I get the feeling that...I don’t know...that something might be wrong. Like that time I saw you leaning on the kitchen table right after I got here.”
Callie knew if she was ever going to tell Levi about her liver, now was the time. But then it would ruin her moment, which she’d sworn to preserve. She was still clinging to the dream that he’d drive off and never have to find out.
“I’m fine.” She pecked his lips. “Let’s get those sandwiches going.”
* * *
“What are you doing?”
Callie forced a
smile as Levi came into the room. After dinner, he’d gone into the bathroom while she’d gone to the linen closet. “Just making up your bed.”
He came closer. “That’s what I thought.”
“It’s okay if you sleep here, isn’t it?”
“The question is why would you want me to?”
Because she didn’t dare let him sleep with her. Thanks to the sandwich she’d eaten, she wasn’t feeling well again. She didn’t want to risk being sick in front of him. She’d be embarrassed after all the lies she’d told. But, more than that, she already cared too much about him, didn’t want him to suffer the same loss her parents and friends would. That meant she had to be careful to maintain some distance. “I thought...since you’re only here for a short time we probably shouldn’t risk getting too close.”
His eyebrows slid up. “Sharing a bed is too close, but having sex isn’t?”
She didn’t know what to say to that. “We just...need to keep our...relationship in perspective,” she said, trying again.
He propped his hands on his hips, which made him look sexy and displeased at the same time, since he was wearing no shirt and his hair was standing up on one side. “What exactly does that mean?”
“It means I don’t want to hurt you in the end.”
“You’re shutting me out now so you won’t hurt me later?”
“Who knows how this will go? Life is uncertain, right? I’m also protecting myself. I don’t want my heart broken when you drive off.” It was too late for that, but at least she’d reconciled herself to reality. He didn’t know what her reality was.
“So that’s it. We’re back to goodbye again.”
She could no longer meet his eyes. “Not for a few days, I hope.”
“Why do you always have to talk about the end? And how I can back out if I want? Or get with another woman? Why can’t we just...be where we’re at and go from here?”
“Because I think we should prepare for the inevitable, don’t you?”
He came over and took the blanket she’d been putting on the sofa away from her. “Is that why you haven’t pushed me to tell you my name? Because you see our relationship as being so brief, so temporary?”