by Lou Cadle
But Zoe wasn’t there either.
She needed to find her father and coordinate the search. And if she couldn’t find Zoe in a few minutes—a half-hour, say—she needed to tell Dev his daughter was nowhere to be found. And that it was Sierra’s fault she was missing.
She had no doubt the girl was still upset over seeing her and Curt. Maybe she should have forced her to talk about it.
I suck at being a mother.
True as that might be, she would throw everything she had into finding her daughter and getting her safe right now. And then try to force her to talk. Somehow, they’d have it out. Sierra didn’t care if her daughter yelled at her, or hit her, or called her names. She just wanted her safe, under the watchful eye of someone who loved her.
“Pilar!” she yelled as she emerged from the house. “Pilar!” She stopped and listened and heard his voice, distant, answering. She headed for it, calling for him every half-minute until they met up near Curt’s. “Where have you looked?” she said.
“Everywhere.”
“Does Dev know she’s missing yet?”
“No. He wasn’t around. I’m afraid it might be my fault.”
“Your fault? How could it be your fault?”
“I mentioned Misha being worried about Lily if the fire comes, and that made Zoe worried. Perhaps she’s out looking for the dog.”
“Wolf,” Sierra said. “It’s more a wolf than a dog. But that might not be why she’s missing. She’s mad at me.”
“Why? What happened?”
“She came upon me and Curt. We were kissing.” So much for keeping this a secret from everyone. She’d told Emily and her father.
“Ah. I didn’t realize. That you and Curt were a thing.”
“We’re not. The first kiss. A dance, a kiss. And there was Zoe, staring and looking shocked. I should have made her talk to me about it.”
“She’s not a stupid child.”
“No. But she’s upset with me.”
“Do you think she still wants you and Dev to get together?”
“If so, she hasn’t said a word about it in years. She’s happy at the Quinns’. I honestly didn’t think she wanted to share her father’s attention.”
“I suspect you’ve got her wrong.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time. Won’t be the last. She may have gone out hunting for Lily, but if she did, it was because she didn’t want to come home to me. It’s my fault.”
“Don’t say that until you know for sure.”
“I guess we need to comb the woods. Though maybe I should get Dev. She might not come to my voice.”
“Nonsense. She’ll come. Let’s you and me split it up. She couldn’t be far.”
“I don’t think she got past us on the road. And the brush is so tangled down there, I doubt she went into it. If she’s in the woods, it’s up here.”
“I hope she doesn’t step into one of our traps in the dark.”
Sierra hadn’t even thought of that possibility, she’d been so focused on worrying about the danger the wolf posed. “We have to get her back here in case the wind shifts.”
“Maybe we should get more people in on it then.”
“If Joan is free, just her. Let’s give it a half-hour, and if we can’t find her, I’ll get Dev and Arch and they can help.”
“Okay, I guess that’s the right thing to do.”
Sierra didn’t know the right thing to do. There was the woman in labor, the fire to prepare for, and now this. Tonight of all nights. “I’ll take the area nearest the road, the Quinn property and beyond. You take the area behind our and Joan’s houses, and Joan can go up beyond Curt’s cabin. Okay? Meet back here in a half-hour.”
“I’ll check the trap line first thing.”
“Sure. And if you see Lily out there, let me know you did.”
“See you right back here in a half-hour.” He ran off to recruit Joan into the search.
Sierra jogged back to her yard and then beyond the end of it where the cistern stood. She ducked into the trees. Her dim headlamp shone on the pine bark, which looked almost black in the night, vertical lines dotted with the holes of beetle damage. She slid between them, saying Zoe’s name loud enough to be heard, but taking care not to scream or sound angry or upset. “Zoe, are you out here?”
Again, her mind sent her an awful vision, of the wolf standing over Zoe, having taken her down. It made her crazy to think it. Why did the mind do those things? It was like one of her nightmares, and she wished—not for the first time—that she could cut out the part of her brain that worked that way.
She found no sign of her, and her worry spiraled up and up. Just before she was about to turn around and meet with her father again, and get everyone involved in the search, she heard her daughter crying.
Chapter 20
Zoe sat against a tree, and at first Sierra thought she was hurt. She went and kneeled down by her, the light from the headlamp illuminating her face. “Honey, are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?”
Zoe shook her head, hard. Her face was tear-streaked and puffy. She’d been crying for some time.
Sierra wasn’t sure what to do. Pull her in for a hug? Or would she not want that at all? “You’re okay?”
“No,” Zoe managed to sob out. “I can’t find Lily. And there might be a fire.”
“Oh, babe,” Sierra said. She sat next to her, put and arm around her, and pulled her a little closer, ready to let go if Zoe yanked herself away. But she didn’t. “Lily will know what to do. She’s smarter about these things than we are. All animals are.” She had no idea if that was true or not, but she thought her daughter needed to hear it.
Zoe gasped for air a few times. She was trying to get a hold of her emotions.
“I’m sorry you’re sad. Are you mad at me too?”
“No,” Zoe said, her voice soft and rough.
“It’s okay if you are. I understand.”
“I just—” And she broke into sobs again.
It just about tore Sierra’s heart in two to hear it. She stroked her child’s arm and made comforting sounds. “It’s okay. Everything will be okay.”
“No,” Zoe said, pulling away. “Everything is changing!”
“Well, things do change.” Was this about the fire or Curt or what? “What part of it is upsetting you?
Zoe stood and turned around and kicked the pine she’d been leaning against.
That was out of character. She wasn’t a kid who threw tantrums, never really had been. “What is it? Are you mad at me?”
“No!” Zoe said, and she kicked the tree twice more. Then she sat hard on the ground. “I can’t fix anything.”
Sierra was out of her depth here. Fix what? Was this about Sierra, or the pregnant woman, or Lily, or what? “Can you tell me what you’d like to fix?”
“Grandma.” And she started crying again, hard.
“Grandma? Kelly?” Sierra was utterly confused. “What about her?”
“She’s sick.”
“What?” Sierra felt a cold hand close around her heart. “What do you mean she’s sick?”
“I don’t know. I just know she is. And Grandpa is upset. I’ve seen him cry, even.”
“Cry?” Arch? Sierra had a hard time imagining it. “Are you sure?”
“She isn’t okay. She says she is, but she isn’t. She gets tired.” Zoe struggled to get control of her tears.
“Well, she’s getting older,” Sierra said, her mind working furiously. Had Kelly been showing signs of being ill and she hadn’t noticed? It could be. She didn’t spend a lot of time with her. She thought about it, about Kelly lying down for a rest earlier that evening without needing any convincing. That was out of character. “Have you heard them talking?”
“They shut up when I come close. But that means something. They wouldn’t if they weren’t trying to keep a secret from me.”
“And you’ve seen your grandpa cry?”
“Yes. And it scares me.”
“Of
course you’re scared!” Sierra felt sick with the thought that Kelly might be ill. With what, she didn’t know. But now that she thought about, she realized Kelly had seemed low-energy lately. She hadn’t joined in the grain harvest because she was on lookout, but now that Sierra thought back over the past month or so, she saw it might be part of a pattern. “I tell you what. When we get through the problem we have right now, you and me and your dad will sit down with your grandparents and ask them straight out. That’s always the best way. Just ask. That way, you don’t make yourself sick with worrying.”
“Are you going to marry Curt?”
It took her a second to catch up to the change of topic. “No, I doubt that very much.”
“You were kissing him.”
“I was. But that was the first time we ever did that. Maybe it’s the last. Would it bother you if he and I did keep kissing?”
“Will you have babies?”
“Oh, hon. It’s way too early to think like that.” She wondered if Zoe was jealous, not of attention Sierra might pay Curt, but of the potential rival of a younger brother or sister. “You’ll always be my firstborn, and very special to me for that. No one can replace you.” Now Sierra felt like crying. “I’d do anything for you, Zoe.”
“Dad loves me.”
“He does. Very much.”
“I feel him loving me. I don’t feel you loving me.”
Be careful what you wish for. She’d wanted an honest conversation with her daughter. And now she was getting it. “I do though. I love you as much as I know how to love. I’m sorry that you can’t feel that. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. You’re perfect just like you are. Always know that. Everybody on the road loves you. It’s impossible not to.” This was true. Zoe didn’t have to try to be anyone but who she truly was, and she was lovable through and through. “I’ll try to do better with you. We’ll talk about how tomorrow, okay? We need to get back now. Pilar and Joan are looking for you, and they’ll be worried.”
“I can’t find Lily.”
“She’ll be fine.”
“Even if there’s a fire?”
“Animals run from fire. They can smell smoke before we do.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she smelled smoke. Had she talked herself into it? Or was there actual smoke in the air? “Do you smell anything?”
“No. You. You smell bad.”
“Been working hard.”
“Grandma smells different too. I just thought of that. But she does.”
“I promise you, as soon as we get through tonight, I’ll make sure we talk with her.”
“I want to find Lily.”
“I tell you what. I’ll help you do that later. For now, do you think you can work with us on the road, moving the branches we cut down?”
“I’m strong. I could climb the tower too. I can do anything you can do.”
“I don’t doubt it for a second, but I want you to wait to climb until I teach you how to use the harness. Come on, let’s go find Pilar and let him know you’re okay.”
“Do you promise Lily will be okay?”
“I promise. She’s smart that way.” And in a lot of ways, the wolf-dog had it easier than them. If it needed to run forty miles and set up a new hunting range, it would. They were tied to their land and animals.
Walking back, Sierra fretted over what Zoe had said about Kelly. She hoped her daughter was wrong, but she had the sinking feeling she was not. The more she thought about it, the more she realized Kelly had been looking tired, older. Maybe she was in pain.
If so, was there anything at all to be done about it?
The thought was driven right out of her head by an odor.
There. That was the smell of smoke. She had no doubt about it now.
Chapter 21
The view from the top of the turbine tower made her feel sick. A fire burned brightly. The northern sky glowed orange with it. Though she couldn’t feel much of a breeze, the shushing sounds of the turbine blades spinning to either side of her told her the wind had picked up since the last time she had been up here.
Dry-mouthed, her heart feeling like it had sunk down to her stomach, she watched for long minutes, trying to get a sense of how quickly it was moving. But she couldn’t see the base of it, not for a long time. Then a finger of fire came up over a crest in the hills, and a pine caught fire.
Too close. Too damned close.
She climbed down faster than she should have. Her father, Dev, and Joan were waiting for her.
“It’s coming,” she said. “I’m not sure, but we have an hour, I’m pretty sure. Maybe two or three. If the wind shifts, we might get lucky. But we need to prepare for the worst.”
Dev said, “I don’t know what else we can do to prepare than what we’ve done.”
Sierra said to him, “I’m going back to the road. At least until your mom needs me.” She hadn’t told Dev what Zoe had said about his mother. This was not the right time. “Do you know how it’s going?”
“It’s coming along, is the last thing Misha said to me. I guess the contractions are getting closer. Mom was resting.”
More evidence that something was wrong with Kelly. “I’m not sure what to tell you to do.”
“Maybe I’ll take the car up and check out the road. See what I can do up there in case we need to run. I assume the wrecked cars are still where we left them. Maybe I can shove them out of the way or something.”
“Do you still have the keys?”
“They won’t start. The gas will be bad—or evaporated, maybe.”
“I was thinking about getting them into neutral.”
“No battery charge. The steering wheels will be locked. And the tires flat.”
Pilar said, “It’d be better if there were a bunch of us up there trying to move them at once. Brute strength. And maybe the come-along as well.”
Joan said, “Then we should wait until we have to do it. Dev, I say we all try to improve the firebreak, either on our road or the main road.”
Pilar said, “We need to be careful. If we’re panicked, and working in the dark, it would be damned easy for someone to hurt themselves.”
“Dev, I’ll run back with you and check on Misha, see if she needs my help. Then I’ll go back to our road.”
“I’ll help my dad with the main road,” Dev said. “He’s out there alone.”
“I’ll join you,” Pilar said.
“Why don’t you two take Zoe,” Sierra said. “I was going to have her help move limbs with us, but I don’t want to lose sight of her if I’m back and forth helping Kelly.”
“Fine by me,” Pilar said. “Though she should go to bed. It’s past bedtime.”
“Good luck convincing her,” Sierra said. “She can feel the excitement and doesn’t want to miss a thing.”
Joan said, “I’m not feeling excited. Just terrified. You’re sure the fire is coming this way?”
“A small chance it’ll pass north of it. But I think we’ll see at least the edge of it, and maybe worse.”
Pilar said, “If only we’d had some rain this year.”
“Rain brings lightning,” Dev pointed out. “It might have happened anyway.”
“We still have a chance of avoiding trouble,” Sierra said. “We’ll work hard and hope for the best.”
“I’m a little rusty,” Joan said, “but I’ll pray while I work. We could use a little divine intervention.”
“Pray for the winds to shift,” Sierra said. “That will help us the most.” She turned for the barn, to put the harness back in there and keep it out of Zoe’s sight, but she turned back. “I was thinking we should maybe go get Becca’s family, bring them up here. Better to have more people working than fewer.”
Pilar said, “And if we have to drive off, leave them standing there? With a woman in labor?”
“Shit,” Sierra said. “I hadn’t thought of that. It’ll be a miracle if the car will carry all of us here. I wasn’t counting Janine and Becca in my calculati
ons.”
“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,” he said. “I’ll get Zoe and keep track of her.”
At the Quinn house, Sierra found Kelly comforting a crying Becca at the table. Sierra feared the worst and was afraid to ask.
Kelly looked up at her and said, “Why don’t you see if Misha needs help?”
Half-expecting to see a dead woman in the bed, Sierra tapped lightly and went in. But Janine was still alive, moaning her way through a contraction. Sierra watched. Janine seemed weaker than she had been before. She wasn’t following Misha’s instructions about breathing, and when the contraction had passed, she closed her eyes and seemed to drift off to sleep.
Sierra went around to watch Misha clean her up. There was a lot of blood, thicker now. The amniotic fluid might be spent. Sierra wondered how much blood she could lose and still make it. No transfusions. No way to type blood and replace hers with a volunteer’s. All they could do was force tea down her to keep her hydrated. As Sierra examined Janine, she realized she was paler, not an easy thing to see in a woman of her coloring. Her lips had less color. She breathed fast and shallow, her eyes staying closed.
Sierra picked up the towels and took them to the washer, which had just run. She shifted the old towels, some still stained pale pink, to the dryer and went to ask Kelly if it was okay to run the dryer.
“You’d better,” Kelly said. “We’re running low on towels. Let me turn the fridge up to warmer. If we avoid opening it the rest of the night, we should be okay.”
“I need to tell you about the fire,” Sierra said. “Let me get Misha out here too.” Once the four of them were sitting at the table, she explained what she had seen.
“My family,” Becca said. “They don’t know, do they?”
“Yes—I told them it was possible. They must be smelling the smoke by now.”
“I don’t know where I should be,” she said. “Here, or with them.”
“I know,” Kelly said. “It’s an impossible situation.”
“Would you take me back down there?” Becca asked Sierra.