by Rob Hunter
“Then you must know people from there that you could meet?” Daveth pointed out, leaning tentatively back against the dumpster. Ellis shook his head.
“No. I don’t do a lot of talking there.”
“What is it you do?”
“I work at a service station. It’s pretty shit, and the pay is pathetic, but it’s more than I could get through begging,” Ellis explained, stumbling over a couple of words but Daveth let it slip, still slightly distressed at what he was learning.
“You must do something else though! You can’t just not interact with people, that’s not healthy,” Daveth protested.
“Being homeless in itself isn’t healthy,” Ellis retorted with a smirk.
“Well, yeah, but... You know what I mean!” Daveth sighed.
“Not really. I’ve barely talked to anyone whilst I’ve been homeless and I feel fine,” Ellis argued. Daveth opened his mouth and closed it again, narrowing his eyes as he tried to formulate an argument to express what he was truly thinking. What Ellis was describing was ridiculous, he was living like an animal, just focused on survival and nothing else.
There was a scuttle of noise nearby, and Daveth almost ignored it, but Ellis stiffened immediately, his head snapping up before he moved quickly and pushed Daveth down on the floor behind the dumpster. Daveth stumbled, his hands smashing against the floor and burning with pain as he scrambled onto his hands and knees, trying to regain his senses, his heart pounding in his chest as fear flooded his body.
“Grayson.” He froze, falling silent at the unfamiliar voice. He shuffled backwards, peeking out through the slight gap between the wall and the dumpster, just able to make out three shadowed figures standing in front of Ellis, who had managed to scramble his mask on and was standing with his hands crossed over his chest threateningly.
“My boys told me that you interfered with business the other day,” one of the men said, a strange singsong quality to his voice that Daveth absolutely did not expect from the intimidating brute. He strained his ears, trying to hear Ellis’s response but it seemed that the masked man chose to remain silent. Daveth held his breath, fearful of being detected.
“You can’t keep fucking us over. We’re going to have to take action against you eventually. Unless of course you have made the decision to join us after all.”
“This is my turf. I was defending myself,” Ellis replied coldly.
“I’m getting tired of you, Grayson,” the other man growled. Daveth scooted back, away from the small gap he was peering out off, and lowered himself carefully to the floor.
“What do you want?” Ellis grumbled. Daveth was surprised to hear no trace of fear in his voice.
“I’m starting to think it’s going to be better for me to just get rid of you...” the man continued, voice indifferent. There were a few grunts echoed up in agreement from the two other men.
“I’m not going to join you,” Ellis said steadily.
“I see. Now, tell me, why should I not take care of you right now?” the man continued, the threat lacing his tone like poison. Daveth shifted slightly, wondering whether he could jump in and help if it came to it. He probably wouldn’t be able to do anything, but he couldn’t just sit here, not after Ellis had helped him.
“How much do you want?” Ellis asked with a barely repressed sigh.
“Two hundred a week.”
“I...I don’t earn that much.” There was a slight tremble to Ellis’s voice now, and Daveth felt a spark of panic for the other man, suddenly feeling strangely protective for the other’s safety.
“Then what else can you give me?” the man pressed, a malicious smile evident in his tone.
“I don’t have anything else,” Ellis replied, his voice strained. Daveth wanted to interfere, despite the fact the three men could probably snap him in half just by looking at him.
“Then why don’t you take off that mask, get on your knees, and open that pretty mouth for us?” the man cooed, the others chiming in with grotesque murmurs that resembled laughter. Daveth felt his skin crawl, and was shocked by a sudden flash of protective fury that coiled around his gut and almost forced him onto his feet to confront the others, before Ellis interrupted any action on his part.
“Why don’t you ram a dick down your own throat, you absolute cunts,” Ellis growled, his voice lashing out like a whip and momentarily silencing the men’s mocking chimes of laughter. “I’ll get you your fucking money.”
“Make sure you do,” the man grumbled, before, finally, turning his back and leaving. The two others hung back for a moment, narrowing their eyes and appraising Ellis suspiciously before following their leader.
A shadow flickered over him, and he looked up to see Ellis standing, his mask in his hand, staring down at him with a stony expression, a slight shell-shocked glint in his eyes. Barely perceptible tremors coursed down his tightly clenched fists.
“Ellis, are you okay?” Daveth asked, breathing heavily himself. Ellis’s eyes darted towards him with a startling intensity.
“You’re bleeding...” Ellis said quietly. Daveth frowned, glancing down at his hands that were dribbling blood from where he’d scraped them across the gravel, and his knees that were scruffy and darkened by the blood seeping through his jeans.
“Oh, I didn’t realize...” he murmured to himself, turning his attention back to Ellis and finding the other man right in front of him, his hands reaching out for Daveth’s wrists gently, as though scared of breaking him as he twisted his wrists and examined the slight cut.
“Don’t worry about it,” Daveth said quietly, uneasy at the intense way Ellis was examining the slight wounds.
“I should have given you more warning. I’m sorry....” Ellis whispered, brushing his thumb across the back of Daveth’s hand.
“Ellis, are you okay?” he repeated, carefully slipping his hands away from Ellis’s grip in an attempt to get the older man to look at him.
“Yes. I can deal with them,” Ellis said, shaking his head dismissively but Daveth did not miss the way he swallowed heavily and darted his eyes to the ground.
“How are you going to get the money?” he pressed gently. Ellis grunted, then shrugged, staring down at his lap as he crossed his legs in front of him.
“I’ll find a way,” he said after a moment.
“I might be able to help...” he suggested, hopelessly. He wasn’t sure he could, but maybe Edwin or Solomon could? Maybe he could find a way to quickly get a job, or something. Anything.
“I’m not your responsibility,” Ellis pointed out softly. “I’ll find a way,” he repeated, mostly to himself.
Daveth didn’t think twice about pulling the older man into a hug, wrapping his arms around Ellis’h chest and nestling his head over his shoulder and pressed up against his neck. Ellis inhaled sharply and Daveth could feel the painful beat of his heart reverberating throughout his body before he eventually released his breath and relaxed into the touch.
“Tell you what, instead of you being boring and not doing anything all day, why don’t you come with me and I’ll show you what I do for entertainment round here,” Daveth suggested, smiling shyly as he glanced up at Ellis. The other man seemed reluctant to release his hold.
“Okay...” Ellis murmured, quietly and strangely vulnerable, nodding as he did so and leaning back into Daveth for guidance as he dragged them both back to their feet.
It turned out that Ellis was immensely funny, albeit in a rather dry, macabre manner, when he managed to relax and become more confident. And he seemed to enjoy Daveth’s hypothetical questions, generally taking the time to contemplate them, but his answers were always blunt and managed to startle further laughter out of Daveth.
There was something almost mesmerizing about him. A spark to his personality that pulled Daveth in, and he found that they meshed together beautifully, as though they had been friends for years. It was no surprise that he came back the next day.
And the next. And the next, and so on until it bec
ame routine. He’d leave the shelter in the morning, and bring some food with him to Ellis, where they would sit and eat and talk about meaningless nonsense that never failed to make them laugh, and then eventually they’d go their separate ways; Ellis often leaving to take go to his shift, whilst Daveth returned to Adam and Roy, and gushed about how amazing and wonderful Ellis was and how they should definitely come and meet him because they would love him etc. etc. until he giggled self-consciously, a blush decorating his cheeks.
“You really like this Ellis guy, don’t you?” Adam asked one night, his sleeping bag rustling as he turned to face Daveth in the dark alley. Next to them, Roy snored quietly, his head resting against Adam’s shoulder. They hadn’t been able to go to the shelter that night; they had got there too late to claim a bed and Solomon had already gotten in trouble for reserving beds.
“Yeah. You’d like him too. He’s nothing like what you’ve heard,” he responded, resting his chin on his hands as he stared up at Adam, their cold breathes intermingling in the air between them.
“How’s his money situation going?” he said after a moment. Daveth pulled a face, which was probably hidden by the shadows that masked them.
“I don’t know. He doesn’t mention it much.” He shrugged. “He said he was doing longer hours at his job, but I don’t know if he’s going to have enough.”
“Is that why you’ve been saving up then?” Adam asked. Daveth pursed his lips, falling silent. “I noticed that you’re not spending as much. I also saw you counting coins earlier,” Adam explained.
“I guess...”
“Be careful with it. I don’t want you passing out from hunger,” Adam whispered, brushing his hand across his shoulder. Daveth smiled up at him fondly.
“Don’t worry, boy,” he replied, ducking his head towards Adam, who batted him gently away with a smirk.
Their eyes met, and suddenly it was as though nothing else existed, and he was abruptly aware that he could feel Adam’s breath ghosting over his lips and that they were so close. He wasn’t smiling anymore, because he could feel his heart beating in his chest, and his palms were slightly sweaty and it was as though he was dangling off a cliff, hanging on by just the tips of his fingers.
And then Roy stirred, not waking up, but murmuring in his sleep and turning his head blearily, and their eyes snapped away from each other and Daveth took the opportunity to shuffle back. He wondered whether Adam had felt the same just then.
“Still, be careful with Ellis. He might still turn out to be a dick yet and we don’t want you getting hurt,” Adam muttered, lying on his back and carefully shuffling Roy away from him. “Night, boy,” Adam whispered quietly.
“Yeah...night.”
***
And then the day came that Ellis had to pay those assholes. And he did have enough money, but only just. Certainly not with enough spare to be able to get food, which Daveth only found out by pestering him after the gang members had left.
So now Daveth took it on himself to ensure that Ellis was eating and drinking and generally looking after himself, because he sure as hell knew that those assholes chasing him for payment didn’t care if he killed himself in an effort to make enough money.
And it just so happened that an elderly woman had been generous enough to stuff $20 in his cup, and suddenly he had enough money to feed himself and Ellis for the next few days on top of the pitiful money he still had stored securely in his rucksack. But more than that, he found the urge to indulge them both.
So he picked up a small Chinese takeaway, a slight swing in his steps even if his head hurt with the mental energy to work out the mathematics of what he could actually afford compared to what he usually got from a Chinese takeaway. Evening had fallen when he found Ellis, deciding to forgo the shelter where he knew Roy and Adam would be, in order to surprise the other man with this indulgent luxury.
“Daveth? To what do I owe this pleasure?” Ellis grinned, marking the place in the book he had been reading as he straightened up, face brightening. Daveth giggled, revealing the Chinese takeaway.
“Fancy eating dinner with me?” Daveth offered, sitting down opposite Ellis, crossing his legs as he eagerly ripped through the white paper bag.
“You got Chinese?” he asked incredulously, crawling forward to come and sit next to Daveth.
“Someone gave me a twenty so I thought I should treat us,” Daveth explained with a shrug, helping to open up a couple of the plastic boxes. Ellis stilled next to him, and when he turned to face the other man, he found awed blue eyes sparkling back at him. “What?” he questioned shyly.
“You’re amazing, you know that,” Ellis said, licking his lips. Daveth swallowed, his mouth parting slightly as he stared into the other’s eyes. Ellis’s hand reached out tentatively, brushing a stray strand of hair away from Daveth’s eyes, before leaning in slowly. Daveth moved forward instinctively, without even thinking about it. It felt like the natural thing to do.
Ellis’s hand slipped around the back of his neck and pulled him forward, and he clambered up onto the older man’s knees, moaning eagerly into the kiss as Ellis nibbled on his lips, arms snaking down his waist and exploring his body. He melted into the touch, overwhelmed as he let Ellis take charge, as he found himself flipped with Ellis now crawling on top of him, lips travelling down to his neck and biting. Daveth arched his back, mewling as his hands clawed across Ellis’s shoulder blades, desperate for more.
His head was whirling, and an image of Adam flashed into his mind unbidden. He hissed, a sickening twist of guilt crawling down his gut that battled against the desperate need to touch Ellis all over, to have the man completely and to be had by him...but his thoughts trailed to the others, to the almost-kiss with Adam, even to Solomon’s delicate, overly-fond touches. And his own feelings were muddled, because everything was going too quick, and there was no time to think about anything, and he didn’t know what he wanted anymore.
“Daveth?” Ellis whispered against his neck, his actions coming to a stop with a furrowed brow of confusion. “Is this okay?”
“I…” He nodded, but bit his lip. Ellis sat back, reading the conflict on his face.
“It’s okay if you’re not sure,” he said, brushing a hand gently through Daveth’s hair.
“I liked it...I just need time to think about it,” he murmured breathlessly.
“Take all the time you need. We don’t need to rush. We don’t need to do anything if you’re not sure,” Ellis promised, shuffling backwards and reaching out to help get Daveth up. “Come on, we might as well eat the Chinese before it gets cold,” Ellis suggested with a gentle, comforting smile.
And by all accounts, it should have been awkward, with the kiss hanging tensely in the air between them, but Ellis moved the conversation on, not blaming Daveth for his relative silence as he struggled to assess his own feelings. And he was thankful that no matter what happened, he would still have Ellis as a friend.
He’d spent the next few days after the incident trying to figure out what he was going to do, and considering asking the others for help. But he couldn’t go to Solomon or Adam, and as much as he trusted Roy, he thought the other man might feel torn between his loyalty to him and to Adam, and he suspected that Roy may have his own feelings towards Adam, judging by the way the two acted. And that left Edwin. But...well, he wasn’t the bravest of people, and every time he thought about asking the bearded man for advice, he found that his tongue would just stop working and he’d hurry away with barely a few words.
Ellis hadn’t pressured him for an answer, but he didn’t think it was fair to keep the man waiting. And deep down, he knew it shouldn’t be that hard, because he had enjoyed the kiss, and he had wanted more, and perhaps he could say it was love, if he had the confidence for that, but then, he enjoyed the idea of kissing Adam, and even Solomon, and, well, you couldn’t love three people at once.
So he’d had the brilliant idea to go for a walk to try and clear his head.
He’d h
adn’t meant to walk into gang territory, but then, pretty much every place now belonged to one gang or another. And then he’d found a hand clasped around his mouth as he was dragged back into the shadows of the alley and thrown against the wall.
“Give us all your money or we’ll fuck you up,” the man pinning him to the wall growled, his hand wrapped tight around his neck. His breath stuttered and his heart started to pound, adrenaline and fear flooding his body as his instincts yelled at him to do something, anything. His eyes darted from the man holding him to the other three hidden in the shadows, watching him disinterestedly.
“Everything I have is in the bag,” he said breathlessly, hating himself for the way his voice shook. He was manhandled roughly as they dragged his rucksack from his back and riffled through it, carelessly throwing out all the items that failed to interest them. He only had a few dollars in there, and all the rest was worthless unless you lived on the street.
“Is this it?” the man grumbled, turning the rucksack upside-down and shaking it. Daveth nodded, wide-eyed. The man glared at him, and then there was a flash of recognition in his eyes. “I know you!” the man yelled, sending shivers of fear down Daveth’s spine. He shook his head, hands shaking as the man approached and pushed him back against the wall.
“This is the little brat that Grayson protected, ain’t it?” the man called to one of the others, who was hidden in the shadows. Still, Daveth was able to see him nod, grinning with crooked teeth.
“Looks like it.” Daveth clenched his hands into fists, trying to get his breathing under control as he realized that these two had been part of the group of men that had chased him and Roy a couple of weeks earlier.
He yelled out as he was backhanded sharply, stumbling backwards a few steps before his hair was grabbed and he was yanked forward, the hand wrapping back around his neck and squeezing. His clawed against the tight grip helplessly.
“’Bout time we teach you a lesson.” The man grinned into his ear, pushing him backwards into the arms of the two other men who grabbed him and blocked any chance of escape.