*
It was strange to say goodbye. Goodbye to Ojoe, goodbye to Steen and the other crewmembers. It was really uncomfortable knowing maybe I wouldn’t see them again.
On the Spaceport in Brury, I said goodbye to them all as they went off. I made sure I was the last one to depart, so I stood there, at the door of the port, saying goodbye to all of them, one by one. Hundreds and hundreds of the crewmembers of the Arrabat insisted on shaking my hand or even hug me. It was a truly moving moment. A very important moment. We had done the impossible. And no-one would ever take that away from us.
In the end, after an hour or so, I stood there alone. Mirany was waiting a few steps back. I turned to her. She smiled a little. We were ready to go.
*
A shuttle left us in Obata. We bought supplies, and we rented a car in Muri. Actually, we had to buy a couple of fuel cells that cost way more than the rental, as they were in short supply in those days. Then we set out to the Hobaka ridge.
The small cabin was still there, quiet by the lake, as though we’d never left.
*
The slow waves on the lake giggled as they reached the shore. We sat on the grass. Her hand covered my hand. Everything was beautiful. She looked at me. I looked at her. Suddenly, I felt self-conscious.
“I’m ugly, aren’t I?” I said, remembering the scarred deformed face I’d seen in the mirror that morning.
She smiled and caressed my face.
“Not to me. Not to me.” She said. “To me you are beautiful. You are brave. You are strong. You are good. You are beautiful.”
I kissed her lips. It felt so right, at that moment. The whole Universe felt so right. Then she backed away, and I saw the pain on her face.
“But you don’t find me attractive anymore, do you?” She said.
I was surprised.
“What are you talking about? Of course I find you attractive. More than ever!”
“Then why didn’t you… Why haven’t you come to me? Why haven’t we…?”
I felt confused.
“What do you mean? I was being careful. I know what you’ve been through. I mean… I don’t know, but I can imagine. I didn’t want to scare you. I wanted you to feel safe. To know it would be alright. I was being careful. I was waiting for you to be ready.”
Now she was surprised.
“I thought… I thought…” She was looking at me, not knowing what to say. Then her face softened up. And she smiled a mild smile. And she said: “I’ve been ready for so long. I thought… I’ve been ready for so long…”
I looked at her eager lips and I had to kiss her. We kissed for a long time, caressing each other with our mouths and tongues, tenderly, and intensely and… I thought it could happen right there. I thought I was ready to tear her clothes off and have her right there.
“Let’s go back.” I said.
“Yes.” She said.
And we got up and started walking towards the cabin. And she leaned against me, and I put my arm around her shoulders. And as we walked, we were suddenly feeling distant again. I felt nervous. I felt I didn’t know what was going to happen. I was wondering if it would be the same again. If we would be good together. If she would be okay with my body, as it was. If I was good enough. Or if I would find something in her body that would turn me off. And maybe she was feeling something similar because as we walked towards the cabin, we were feeling distant again. Something, an invisible curtain, fell slowly between us. I felt her tremble. And I was nervous. How would we start, when we got there? What should I say? Should I get undressed? Should I keep my shirt on? Hide my scars?
These doubts were bothering me more and more when suddenly I felt her stop. We both stopped. And she pointed.
“Look.”
A small bird, a sparrow, was revolving on the floor, one wing clearly broken. It tried to fly but could only twist around and cry out in pain.
“Poor little bird.” Said Mira. “We have to help him.”
I nodded. She picked it up very carefully, speaking softly as she tried to calm the little bird down, caressing it with a finger.
“It’s okay, little bird. It’s okay.”
We took it home.
“We must fix the wing.” I said. While she waited on the couch with the sparrow on her lap, I went to find a piece of wood and some bandages. I came back, kneeled in front of them and made a dressing.
“Where do we put him?” Asked Mira.
“Wait here.” I said. I went to find a cardboard box and brought it to the living room. I used a pair of scissors to make some holes in the box, so the bird could breathe and got a scarf of mine to make a comfortable spot on the bottom. I also got a small bowl with water and a piece of bread. Then I carefully picked up the sparrow and put it in the box, as comfortable as I could manage.
“There.” I said. And I closed the box. I looked at Mira. I could see she was about to cry. She sat on the couch, trembling.
“Mira…?” As I said this the tears started flowing. She started moaning. And then she was crying helplessly. I embraced her, and she put her face on my chest and cried and cried. She must have cried for half an hour, at least. It was like everything she lived since the last time we had been there, in that cabin, was finally pouring out of her heart, leaving her, slipping through her eyes. I didn’t say a thing. I just held her. Let her grieve. And after a long time, the tears stopped. And after a while, she raised her head and looked at me. And she kissed me. And she kissed me more. And she lay on top of me. And she unbuttoned my shirt. And she sucked on my nipple, and she took off her shirt and threw away her bra. And I could see her. See her again. And see the cigarette burns and the scars. And, I know this sounds strange, and weird, and perverted, but those scars made me even more excited, more in tune with her. Made her even more attractive. And she was admiring my scars as an animal sniffing her prey, or a snake feeling her mate. And she kissed me again, wildly. Her naked scars against my naked scars. And we made love. We made intense love. Better than we ever had. As if we were one. As if nothing else in the Universe ever mattered to us.
And then we fell asleep.
We woke up after dusk. Laying on the couch in the dark. Awoken by the frail wounded song of the little bird in the box.
There we stayed, feeling the breeze on our naked shoulders. Two more little birds with broken wings. Injured by the disasters of our times. Forever wounded. But finally together.
*
We named him Kobby. The bird. It just came to her one time, and we stuck with it. After a few days, he could fly again. We cut the bandages, and he flew. Inside the house. And one day he just flew away through the window. But he was around. We’d leave a little bowl of water and some food on the floor, next to his box, and he’d come in and greet us with a song, and then he’d fly away again but be near us most of the time.
*
One day, after a few weeks, we went to town, and she went off to buy something, and I went to get the mail. There was one letter from the Navy. I told her over lunch, not too happy about it.
“They gave me medals.”
She smiled.
“Congratulations. Which ones?”
“A bunch of them. A Navy Star, a Gold Standard, a Black Medal of Bravery and a Red Ribbon of Brotherhood from the Marines.”
She was stunned, her mouth opened in shock.
“That’s… That’s… That’s incredible. I don’t think anyone ever got all of those in so little time.”
I frowned.
“I think I’m going to turn them down.”
“Why?”
“There’s a lot of people who deserve them. I just got lucky. People died. I don’t want them.”
She sighed.
“Take them.”
“No.”
I was brisk, and she leaned back, shutting up. I ate, annoyed. She kept looking at me. I stopped eating, for a moment.
“You sounded like your father, just now.” I said.
“He was right.” S
he said.
“It doesn’t matter.” I was eating again.
“Byl. Look at me.”
I stopped eating. I looked at her.
“My love, medals are like photographs. They don’t mean something because they are valuable to others and attributed in some pompous ceremony by big men in big names who don’t know any better. They mean something because they mark a few difficult and painful moments you went through that mean something to you. They’re not valuable because of what they mean to others; they’re valuable because of what they mean to you. They’re mementos. That’s all. Those moments are yours. Let the medals reflect that.”
I never forgot what she said. That was my Mirany. That was my Captain Cavo. That was the love of my life, talking. And that’s why she was the love of my life. We sat there, for a minute, looking at each other, and then she started eating, and I started eating. We didn’t say a word for a while, while I was thinking. And then we went home. I never felt ashamed of my medals ever again.
*
I got a second letter a week after that. We were sitting on the porch drinking tea in the afternoon when I told her.
“I’ve been called.”
She froze.
“What?”
“I’ll have to report in a couple of weeks.”
She looked away.
“Where to?”
“Third Fleet.”
I was going to the Outer Regions, where the tension between Webbur and the Cold Empire was starting to heat up. I looked at the vegetation around.
“What’s your assignment?” She asked.
“The Hillo. A battleship. I’m raised to full Captain.”
“That’s big. Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
I saw the wind slightly moving the tops of the trees. It would rain, I thought.
“I’m deploying too.”
I looked at her, taken by surprise.
“What?”
“The Mildenboro. Destroyer. Convoy Escort. First Officer.”
I looked away and suddenly shivered. I sighed. I knew they were taking women in the towers, nowadays. They’d come to their senses. But the thought of losing her…
“Haven’t you done enough?” I asked.
“Haven’t you?” She asked back.
“People are dying.” I replied.
“Precisely.” She concluded.
I sighed again, deeply.
“I couldn’t bear losing you.” I said.
“I couldn’t bear losing you too.” She said.
We were in silence for a bit, and then she added:
“Something big is coming. I don’t know what. But it’s all-hands-on-deck.”
We didn’t know it then, but the Great Invasion was being prepared on the moons of Webbur and the ports of Torrance. Soon, millions of soldiers would be landing in Farcot and then Axx itself, with the help of the 2nd Fleet.
“Marry me.” I said.
“Okay.” She said.
That had been underwhelming. I looked at her.
“That’s it? Okay?”
She looked at me. She smiled.
“Answering that question is the easiest thing I ever did in my life. Of course I’ll marry you.”
I smiled back.
“Not difficult for me either.”
She leaned back.
“Okay, then.”
I nodded.
“Okay, then.” I said.
The wind picked up a bit. I saw Kobby flying around towards us.
“Look.” I said.
We saw him flying in circles and then land on the porch. Mira looked at me. I looked at her. She smiled a little. I smiled as well.
“When are you deploying?” I asked.
“Three weeks.”
“I’d like you to meet my mother.”
“Okay. Let’s visit my father’s grave.”
“Okay.”
*
We married in town a couple of days later, surrounded by people we barely knew, who offered us a nice outdoor lunch where dozens came to celebrate our union. They didn’t know us very well, but they thought we were heroes, so everyone came.
It was a simple ceremony. A simple day. Nothing fancy. But one of the best days of my life.
*
My mother was surprised, and a bit hurt when she learnt she hadn’t been at my wedding. But we spent a whole day with her, and she liked Mirany. They liked each other very much. She gave us soup, and we drank wine. And talked and laughed. And she hugged us both very tightly as we left.
*
We put flowers on Admiral Cavo’s grave. It was a humble grave in the Navy cemetery in Linstown. The tombstone showed his stars and mentioned his medals, as was custom. And it said: «Far beyond expectations.» It was a famous phrase of his.
One time, when he took the 2nd Fleet into the Pirate Wars, into the Dark Sea, someone asked him how far he would go to put an end to enemy aggression. He replied: «Far beyond expectations.» And that’s what he did.
*
We checked in at the Navy’s Headquarters in Vittaro. She went to the 2nd Fleet’s Home Office, and I went to the 3rd Fleet’s department. A very young lady was at the main desk, and I smiled as she repeated my name on the intercom. She was somewhat surprised by what she heard on the other side. She hung up, and she gave me a gorgeous smile.
“Captain, please have a seat. Someone will be with you in a minute.”
I raised my eyebrow.
“I just came to check in. Is something wrong?”
“Oh, no. Please have a seat, and someone will come to meet you, sir.”
I sat down, annoyed. What was the matter now? I waited fifteen minutes and was about to leave when a lovely tall redhead in a commander’s uniform came out of a large door and walked towards me. I stood up.
“Captain Iddo?”
“Yes.”
“First Admiral Hedde would like to have a word with you if you wouldn’t mind, sir.”
I sighed and smiled, happy.
“Of course.”
*
He held my hand for a long time.
“Well, well, Mr Iddo. Last time I saw you, you were as depressed as you could be, being sent to the convoys. Who would’ve known?”
“Not me, for sure, Admiral. I’m glad to see you, sir.”
“I’m glad you’re back, son.” He smiled. “We need men like you.”
“Thank you, sir.”
He squeezed my shoulder with the other hand and led me to a sit.
“There’s something I wanted to give you personally.”
He took a large wooden box out of a drawer and opened it on the desk.
“Usually there are ceremonies for this. But not now. Not with this war. Here.”
He gave me a velvet covered box.
“It’s your Captain’s insignia. Congratulations on your promotion.”
I opened the box. I couldn’t believe those were mine. He gave me another box.
“This is your Navy Star. Congratulations.”
He gave me another box.
“This is the Congressional Gold Standard Medallion. Congratulations.”
He gave me another box.
“This is the Red Ribbon of Brotherhood. Congratulations.”
I looked at them, not knowing what to say.
“Thank you…”
He smiled and sat back.
“No, Mr Iddo. Thank you. You’ll depart in a few days, so I’ll give you my tailor’s address. You need to modify your uniforms, get those ribbons sowed in.”
“Yes, sir.”
“You realise it’s very unusual that someone your age becomes a battleship captain?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And you realise no one, in the history of this Navy, ever got this much medals, this valuable, at your age?”
“No, sir. Didn’t really know that.”
“Well, it’s true. Now, tell me all about it. I want to know everything that happened. You were at the Equ
inox…”
“Yes, sir.”
And we talked for an hour or so. Mira had to wait in the lobby. She didn’t really mind.
In the end, Admiral Hedde made me a request. And I said yes. And we saluted each other. And I went to find Mira with a few velvet covered boxes under my arm.
*
We said goodbye at the Artz Gobbery train station, a few days after. We were both in uniform. She was beautiful in that dark grey First Officer’s jacket. And I had my new Captain’s insignia on, and the ribbons on my chest and arm.
I was embarking first. I was going to board the destroyer Ricammo, that evening, which would take me to the Outer Regions. Mira’s train would depart the next day, to Brury.
“Send me a message when you get aboard.” I said.
“I will.”
We looked at each other, not knowing what to say.
“What do we do now?” She asked me in a whisper.
I smiled, helpless.
“I love you.” I said.
We kissed. I looked at her face. She trembled.
“What do we do now?” She asked again.
I sighed.
“Everything we can.” I said.
“I want to live with you somewhere.” She said.
“We will.” I said.
“Don’t you dare getting killed.” She whispered.
I embraced her.
“You too.”
We kissed again. I wanted to be inside that kiss, in that moment, for the rest of my life. We stopped to breathe, as reality creped in.
I looked at her. Her blond hair. Her clear eyes. She wanted to say something. She tried. In the end, she just sighed in a very low voice.
“What do we do now?”
I sighed again.
“Our duty.”
*
I looked back at her through the window of the train. She looked the best she could look, watching me leave. We waved at each other. Would I ever see her again? That terrorising thought was bouncing and screaming all over my mind. Would I ever see her again?
Shark-Killer (The Dark Sea War Chronicles Book 3) Page 14