Well, it beat starving to death.
They gathered driftwood as they hiked to the beach. Once she had an armful, she dropped it in a pile beside the stone-ringed fire pit Kassian assembled.
She crouched beside him. He used a flint rock to light the tinder. The wood caught flame easily, just like the sparks between them did. After a few minutes, a blazing bonfire crackled before them. Kassian placed a grate over the top of the flames and, after cutting open the tops of two cans, he set them on the grate.
Within a few minutes, they had hot, hopefully appetizing food.
“Cheers, mate.” Kassian handed her a heated can wrapped in a palm leaf and tilted his can toward hers.
“Cheers. To a lovely, mysterious meal.” She winked and he chuckled.
“One of my favorite games. Meal roulette. Never know what you’re gonna get.”
She laughed until she lifted the can to her nose and peeked inside. “Ugh.” She reared back, scrunching her nose. The contents smelled more like dirty laundry than a product made for consumption. “What the hell is this?”
“Pungent, that’s what it is.” Kassian curled his lip and held the can away before rolling back his arm and chucking the contents into the fire. He set aside the empty can. “Let’s hope round two has a better chance at being edible.” He grabbed the second set of cans and heated them on the grate.
“Okay, but why keep cans without labels? Makes no sense.” She scuffed a fingernail along the glue and paper left over from the peeled off label.
“Monkey.” Kassian chuckled. “When we caught her, she laughed her ass off like it was a great joke. Mischievous little thing.”
Ah. Any words Nat might have offered him lodged in her throat. He was hurting and she regretted reminding him of his pain.
“She’s going to be okay. That girl’s tough.” She rubbed her hand up and down his arm. His closed overtop, his large warm fingers sliding between hers.
“Sitting here with you feels like old times, yeah? Big bonfire on the beach.”
The dreaminess in his wistful grin tugged a smile at her lips.
“It was never the same after you stopped visiting.” He squeezed her fingers. “Everything got worse. I got worse.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not blaming you. Just coming to terms with it, I guess.” He kept his gaze trained on the ocean and she struggled to do the same.
“How are your parents?”
He shrugged. “Same as always. They assume I’m off partying in KL. Or Thailand or wherever. They don’t care. I transfer the funds they put in my account to Mei’s vaccination efforts and it looks the same to them.”
Ouch. Her father might be a monster, but his was an asshole. Kassian’s older, successful brother was the only child their father acknowledged. It wouldn’t have mattered if Kassian had become a brain surgeon or a world class CEO. Probably part of why he hadn’t. Why try so hard to be accepted when he never would be?
His mother was, perhaps, even worse. She was obsessed with herself and her “charities,” which were a front for her many lovers. When Nat had gone to one of the functions, the woman had acted like she wasn’t a mother, as though having children made her less desirable.
No wonder she and Kassian were screwed up. Doomed in the love department. They’d both had the worst of upbringings. His—cold; hers—hot, and neither a role model for love.
Oh, she believed in love…for others. It seemed to work for Sheng and Lucy. She didn’t doubt the successes of the Matchmaker’s pairings.
There was a difference between caring for someone and being able to share her life with them. Because she cared for Kassian, she could never be with him. Someday, she’d fail him as surely as their parents had each other. She couldn’t hurt him.
He’d probably concluded the same about her. She laid her head against his shoulder and gazed at the emerging stars.
“Does the Jade Emperor even give a damn about what’s going on down here? The Red Death, the army Zhao is building… I mean, he never sends us any orders.” The Jade Emperor—the ruler of the deities in Heaven—had assembled the Chosen, but that appeared to be the extent of his involvement. The Council of Elders supposedly handed down his decrees, but those had been eerily nonexistent, of late.
“What I think is, fuck him.” Kassian sighed. “If he doesn’t care, it’s no loss for me. I will fight for what I believe is right, regardless of the orders from above. It’s better if he doesn’t tell us what to do. What if I didn’t agree?”
“True.” She sighed and her eyelids fluttered. The smoky flames, the rich, decadent scent of firewood, and the salty breeze from the ocean. This moment was like every summer she’d spent with Kassian. Although this time, he saw her as a woman, not a girl. He’d made love to her, not just kissed her.
If she had her way, he’d be the one to abandon her this time.
***
Nat’s eyelids closed and she drifted off, her head slumping against Kassian’s arm. In her sleep, she snuggled against him, clutching his shoulders. Too bad conscious Nat wouldn’t do the same. Wouldn’t put up such a front of being independent. Would need him.
She did. No matter what she showed the world, Nat was the same as him on the inside.
Now that he was aware of what consumed her—the guilt over her father that had gnawed at her for years—he was empowered. He would stop her father. For her. Maybe then, she’d realize she didn’t have to be alone. There was no one to fight anymore, except herself.
He shook his head. If he didn’t stop, he’d dream up all manner of foolish fantasies. Nat remained a Lotus. That wouldn’t change.
She’d given him no indication she’d even like him to stick around. He wouldn’t be that guy—the one who refused to accept rejection.
Kassian let the flames of the fire die out before he picked her up and carried her to the bed. He laid her down, but her arms remained clasped around his neck, tugging him down with her. She clung to him, limbs sticking to him like a spider’s web he’d been caught in.
“Kassian?” she murmured, her eyelids fluttering.
“Yeah?”
“Stay with me?”
“Always, Nat,” he whispered back and kissed the top of her head. Reclining on his back beside her, he snuggled her into his side and tucked his free hand behind his head. These mixed signals from Nat would be the death of him.
She moaned against his chest and her hand smoothed across his abs, silken fingertips trailing a path to his cock.
Well, damn. She stroked his length and it sprang up, jerking into her palm like she was its fucking puppeteer. He gritted his teeth to stop from rolling her over and driving into her. Was she awake or acting out the scenes of her dreams?
As she stroked the slit on the tip of his shaft with her thumb, he didn’t bloody care anymore. She couldn’t tease him like this. Play hot and cold, and never feel the burn of their passion like he did.
He rolled to face her and cupped her chin in his hand, bringing his mouth down upon hers. Her lips parted on a soft moan. She draped her thigh across his hips and rubbed her pussy along his hard-on.
He didn’t require any further encouragement. Hell, no mixed signals here.
Guiding himself, he thrust into her tight heat, his left hand gripping her hip and holding her in place. She’d taunted the bull, now she’d get the horns.
He speared his cock into her sex, each stroke making her wetter and eliciting those sexy little whimpers from her mouth. Bending forward, he clamped his mouth on the peak of her breast, sucking her pert little nipple. She cried out and spasmed around him while he kept pumping.
“Babe, oh, I can’t. Give a girl a breather.”
“You’re not getting off so easy,” he growled into her ear. He continued sucking while the last tremors dissipated and, as they did, he slipped his left hand between her thighs, stroking her clit with a firm pressure. She writhed against him, at first in a half-assed attempt at dissuading him but, after a few stroke
s, she arched into his palm.
He lifted his head from her breast. “There’s my Nat.” She reacted to his every touch like he was an addiction she couldn’t break. He’d never been with anyone so damned responsive and he got off on it, hardening to the point of pain. As her pussy clenched around him again, he released every ounce of lust, pounding into her. He didn’t stop thrusting until he’d climbed to the top of his orgasm and, as the pressure built, he had to let it go. Wrenching back from her body, he shot out thick spurts of cum across her stomach. He groaned as his muscles continued to twitch, the orgasm shooting to his head and through his body. The tremors released his jīng energy, leaving a heaviness in his limbs.
“Mmm.” Nat glided her finger down and dipped it in his cum, then stuck her finger in her mouth and sucked it in. Oh, fuck. The sight of her licking off his cum made him harden again.
“I love the way you taste.” She wiped her stomach with the sheet and bent to sample his shaft, too.
Her velvety tongue slid along him, licking him clean. “Was it worth it?”
“Hell, yeah.” He dragged her toward his lips, and kissed her, loving the taste of himself in her mouth. Drawing back, he paused to steal a breath. “Should we try that again, just to be sure?”
She pressed her forehead against his, sighing. “We should get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day.”
His throat was too thick with disappointment for him to respond, so he nodded. She curled with her back to him and he reclined again. The tent his erection made against the sheet deflated, as did his pool of hope.
Who the fuck was he kidding by playing lovers with Nat? He glared at the night sky and the stars offered only one answer.
Me.
Nat woke and flipped over, hoping Kassian was as horny as last night, but the spot on the bed beside her was already cold. She shoved aside her disappointment since she was the one who’d turned down the option of an encore last night. Hell, last night shouldn’t have ever happened. Or yesterday afternoon. Every time she made love with Kassian would make leaving him harder.
He had the right idea by not waking up together. A lot was at stake today, and their hearts weren’t part of it.
The low hum of propellers vibrated the air around her. Yes! He’d fixed the helicopter. She dressed and sprinted to the worksite.
“Morning.” Kassian sent her a wide grin and the ease between them flowed.
She returned his smile. “Does it fly yet?”
“I sure as hell hope so. We’ll find out for certain once we take her up.”
She frowned. “That’s not very reassuring.”
“Hey, you’re welcome to paddle back.” He swept his arm toward the ocean and their motorboat.
Exhaling, she pasted on a fake smile. “Helicopter it is.” She stepped to the cabin and tossed their duffle bag inside before marching to the other door and sliding into the passenger seat. “I sure hope you’ve done this before.”
“Eh. Mostly.”
She cast him an “are you crazy” glare, until he chuckled. “Just fucking with you. We’ll fly, all right.”
He switched on the ignition and the purr of the motor heightened to a roar. The cabin vibrated, the tremors traveling from her seat, through her legs, and clacking her teeth together. She planted her hands onto her thighs and braced. “You sure?”
Kassian winked at her, then went all professional, checking switches and gears, twisting knobs, and switching levers. He seemed to know what to do. She clamped her jaw shut to stop the vibrations and watched him, trying not to focus on how damn sexy he was while working. The man had a knack for machines, and for her body.
He knew precisely which buttons to press, didn’t he.
As the helicopter lifted off the ground, she dug her nails into her thighs to stop from throwing her arms around Kassian for protection. He had to concentrate, so she sucked back her anxiety and squeezed her eyes shut. They wouldn’t crash and burn.
Right?
“Open your eyes, Nat. You can trust me.”
“Uh-uhn.” She shook her head while keeping her eyes closed. This trip would be better if she didn’t envision them crashing. Her slight fear of flying in small aircraft was courtesy of her father, who’d taken a young Natalie for “rides” in his private plane. He’d insisted on performing aerobatics in an attempt to “toughen up” his poor substitute for a son. All he’d succeeded in was deepening her contempt for him.
“Okay, we’ll do this the hard way.” Before she had a chance to brace her gut against Kassian’s threat, the helicopter dipped, causing her eyes to fling open as she shot her arms out, searching for anything to hold on to.
The helicopter leveled out and she took in the view. Oh, wow. Miles and miles of shimmering blue-green water greeted them. The dawn’s rays bounced off the ocean’s surface. As she stared out at the vast expanse, it was hard not to feel small. In a good way. Like the weight of the world didn’t rest on her shoulders.
It did. Or at least, some of it did. Whether she liked it or not, her destiny had been set apart from the average person’s. She wasn’t free to live a normal life. To enjoy the things ordinary people had.
A family. A home.
No, her destiny was much darker. A hunter of evil. After a while, the darkness had tainted her soul. How could it not? The one reward she claimed in life was that, by eliminating those evils, she made the world a brighter place. She restored balance. Yin and yang.
Even as her soul tilted the scales.
This next task would be the worst. No one guessed the price she paid for what she did. Not even the Matchmaker suspected the toll. Often, for days after the mission ended, Nat would be stuck in bed, her soul frayed at the edges and her body unable to patch itself together.
Already, she mentally braced. Killing her father? Blackest hit yet. She’d only ever taken the life of malevolent beings. While Xing definitely fell under that category, he’d been human once. He’d loved once.
Loved me.
The few early memories she possessed were of a devoted father. Over the years, he’d grown cold, abusive. Some small part of her had hoped he’d change back, but the day he’d murdered her mother, she’d grasped that his body hadn’t been the only part of himself he’d mutilated. His soul was ravaged too—blackened like those markings he bore.
Killing him was still a betrayal. A necessary evil, right?
That’s me. Natalie Quan, the doer of necessary evil.
“Hey, you okay?” Kassian’s warm hand slid atop hers.
She sent him a meek smile. “Not the best flier, that’s all.”
His brows pinched together as though he sensed her fib. Somewhere, between here and the end, she’d have to ditch him. He shouldn’t be there during those final moments to witness or partake in what would taint his soul too.
Kassian was pure in a way she’d never been able to achieve.
Guilt over forcing him out of his vows joined with the rest of the pain twisting in her gut. Soon enough, he’d look back on this and regret everything.
Regret me.
Her fists clenched. She’d make damn well sure he did.
***
Kassian landed the helicopter on an abandoned airfield in the middle of nowhere. Well, it was somewhere, but no one in the empty field beside the rice paddy—except the oxen—witnessed their landing.
He gave a quick salute to the bull who stared at them, slack-jawed with grass dangling from its open mouth. Then he followed Nat to the small, dilapidated wooden shack beside the overgrown runway.
She wedged her foot against the bottom of the wooden door and wrenched it open, rusted hinges squeaking in protest.
“Sweet,” he muttered. Nat stepped inside and lifted a flap in the floor, withdrawing a sealed bag containing a satellite phone. She dialed and then spoke a few rushed words in Mandarin before hanging up.
“Now what?”
“We wait. Shouldn’t be long.”
“Then where do we head?”
&
nbsp; “To Hong Kong.”
“Hell, Nat. We should fly there.”
She crossed her arms and pointedly stared at him with her nose tilted up. “That would have defeated the purpose of stealth. You know that, right?”
He combed a hand through his hair. “This seems so…elaborate.”
“Well, there are a lot of people I don’t want made aware of my whereabouts.” She shrugged. “You don’t have to tag along.”
“Who said I’m tagging along?” He matched her stance, staring her down. “You might pretend like you don’t need me, but wait for it. I’m gonna save your pretty little ass.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’d like to see that.”
He grinned. “Oh, you will.” Being this close to her, in the middle of a rice paddy with no one around but cattle, proved to be too much temptation. He brushed past her out of the shack and plopped onto the creaky bench beneath the worn awning. After a few minutes, Nat joined him, and they sat side by side in silence for what must have been at least an hour.
The rumble of a vehicle vibrated the ground beneath his booted feet. He squinted down the runway. A jeep kicked up enough dust to envelope itself in a dirt cloud as it sped toward them.
The jeep pulled alongside the shack. As the dust settled, a man hopped out. “You call for a ride?”
Oh, hell no.
Price, that fucker, grinned at them as he swept a hand toward his jeep. “Your carriage awaits, m’lady.”
Damn, those two fox spirits of his accompanied him. “Did you have to bring the entourage?”
“They go where I go. Sorry, man.” His grin didn’t appear at all apologetic as he swung inside the driver’s seat, leaned into the backseat, and planted a hard one on the taller female’s mouth.
Ugh. If Kassian didn’t stop them, he and Nat would be witness to an orgy.
“All right, break it up, ah…love birds.” Yeah, that didn’t really fit. Price wasn’t the least bit monogamous and neither were his groupies. It was a Price love fest, all the way.
Nat piled into the backseat with the two fox spirits while Kassian slid into the passenger seat.
By the Horns Page 22