Lucius watched the general, unable to believe what he was hearing.
“I saw so many things that day that could only have come from God. The sky darkened for three hours. The ground shook as I had never felt it shake before. The violence of it caused rocks to break apart.”
Lucius frowned. Could this possibly be true? He glanced at Anna and saw that she was mesmerized by the speaker. He had never seen her look so excited, even at the chariot races.
The general continued. “I heard Jesus forgive a thief who had previously cursed Him. I heard Him ask forgiveness for me, as well. The only thought that entered my head that day after seeing everything I saw was that Jesus was surely a God. I searched out the apostles later. I had a hard time finding them as they had gone underground, but I finally located the Apostle Peter.”
Someone handed the general a drink and he thanked him, wetting his throat before he continued.
“I am thankful that God is a God of forgiveness. He forgave Peter for betraying Him and Peter helped me to see that He forgave me, as well. From that moment on, my life was changed. Peter baptized me in the Jordan River, and I have tried to follow my Lord ever since.”
So many people started yelling out questions that it was hard to differentiate any particular one. The general held up his hand and the room quieted.
“I will be glad to answer any questions you have but, please, one at a time.”
The questions came more orderly after that. Lucius heard very little of what they said, his mind trying to work its way around the fact that General Atticus had been a Christian for many years.
It was many hours later before the general took his leave. Lucius watched him go, a host of questions churning in his mind.
Anna settled on the edge of the fountain in the peristyle. She glanced up at the statue of the woman pouring the water from a jug into the basin below and marveled at how realistic the statue was.
“She is one of the Danaides.”
Lucius’s voice coming from the dark made her jump. Placing a hand on her breast where her heart was dancing and gyrating, she gave him a withering look. “You surely frightened ten years from my life.”
He merely grinned, and Anna turned back to inspecting the fountain to keep from looking at him.
“Who are the Danaides?”
He came and sat down next to her, and she felt his presence with every fiber of her being. He pushed her hair back behind her shoulder in a familiar gesture, allowing his hand to rest on her shoulder. Her heart, which had calmed after her fright, now took new wings. When she refused to face him, he let his hand slide off her shoulder.
“The Danaides were daughters of Danaus. They killed their husbands on their wedding night and were condemned in Hades to pour water incessantly into a bottomless well.”
Anna stared at him in horror. She glanced up at the statue, no longer seeing its beauty.
Lucius smirked. “Perhaps I should not have told you that.”
She lifted a skeptical brow. “Are you jesting with me?”
His eyes danced with humor. “No. It was a favorite story of my father’s, hence the statue. Don’t ask me why, because I couldn’t tell you.”
Anna lowered her voice. “Does your mother know?”
“I doubt it, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t make it known to her. There’s no telling what she would do with the fountain.”
That was certainly true. Leah had been ruthless in eradicating any appearance of Roman gods and superstitions.
They both dropped into silence, but it was a comfortable one. At least until Lucius decided to bring up the subject of his mother’s pronouncement to the general.
“Anna, about what my mother said this morning.”
She jumped to her feet, her face coloring hotly. “Please. Let’s not talk about it. I am sorry you were embarrassed but, truly, I have said nothing to make her think such a thing.”
He rose to stand beside her and caught her by the arm when she would have walked away.
“I wasn’t embarrassed at all. It was something I have been thinking on myself.”
She stared up at him in wonder. “Truly?”
He nodded, stroking her face with the back of his hand. “I have known for some time that it would please my mother greatly to see us married.”
Anna’s face cleared of all emotion as she struggled to get her feelings under control. She should have known. Lucius would do anything to make his mother happy in her last days, and it was obvious that she thought Lucius and Anna would make a good couple.
Pulling away from his touch, she moved away from him to the grassy part of the garden. She bent and picked up a rock that had become misplaced from the border, setting it back into its place.
“Anna?”
“Was I to be consulted in this plan?”
His brows knit in confusion. “Do you object?”
“Are you surprised? Was I supposed to fall at your feet with gratitude?”
His look of astonishment was equal to her own feelings. Why was she acting this way? It was so out of character for her to be so hateful, especially when she wanted more than anything the very thing he was suggesting. Perhaps after years of having it done to her, she was a little tired of being taken for granted as though she had no intellect of her own.
His face flushed with anger. “I apologize. I had no idea the thought would be so distasteful to you.”
All ire fled. “It would not,” she told him contritely. “It’s just something I can’t consider right now.”
He came close again, but she couldn’t read his face because there were no lamps in this part of the garden.
“Could you if you loved me?”
She opened her mouth to tell him that she already did but snapped it shut just in time. She tried to move away from him again, but he wouldn’t allow it.
“No, don’t run away. Talk to me.”
He grasped her upper arms and pulled her close, his searching eyes pinning her in place as effectively as a spear.
“I think you feel the same way I do, Anna. Do you? Do you love me?”
Her mouth parted in surprise. What was he saying? Was he truly telling her that he loved her?
“You love me?”
Smiling wryly, his hold gentled and he slid his hands up to cup her face. “What did you think I was trying to say?”
Anna was too stunned to think coherently. “But...how? Why?”
“I think I’ve known from the first moment I saw you lying there in the desert that our lives were somehow entwined.”
“But what about Valeria?”
How was it possible that he could care for her over such a beautiful woman? Or did he really? Was he perhaps just trying to win her over to make his mother happy?
“Valeria is nothing to me and hasn’t been for a very long time. I have never felt for a woman what I feel for you. I want you to marry me.”
Anna’s burning joy quickly turned to ashes. As much as she loved Lucius, as much as she loved Leah, she couldn’t agree to such a marriage.
She shook her head regretfully. “I can’t marry you, Lucius.”
He slowly dropped his hands to his side. “Because I’m not a Jew?”
“No. Because you are not a Christian.”
He reached for her again, but she stepped out of his way. His hands curled into fists at his sides.
“I don’t care if you are a Christian. My mother is a Christian. You can worship whatever God you want to. I won’t try to stop you.”
How could she make him understand? “When I marry, if I marry, I want to share the most important thing in my life with my husband, and that thing is the Lord.”
She wondered at his darkening countenance until he stepped forward and wrapped her in a secu
re embrace.
“Can you truly say that you could allow another man to hold you like this when you know your heart belongs to me?”
No, she couldn’t, but since no other man had shown such interest in her, she doubted she would have to put it to the test. Wherever she went, she knew that her heart would be forever tied to this man. Still, she knew that she would no longer fear a future of being alone. Jesus had forbidden her to be yoked together with an unbeliever, and the apostle Paul had said that it was better to remain unmarried and devote oneself to the Lord. Although she would forever feel like a part of her was missing, she knew that she could face the future with Christ by her side.
“You can’t say so, can you?”
Wordlessly, she shook her head.
“Anna,” he whispered before closing his lips over hers. The feelings he aroused in her were exquisite torture. He was offering her the very thing she had longed for all her life, but without Christ, those things were meaningless. Ashes in the wind. Coming back to reality, she struggled against his hold, pulling her lips from his.
Reluctantly, he let her go. “You’re turning me down?”
She could hear the pain in his voice and she almost relented, but better a little pain now than a lifetime of regret. She had no desire for history to repeat itself and find herself in the same situation as Leah and her husband.
She ached to place her palm against his cheek, to give him comfort, but the only comfort she could give him was the love of God.
“It’s not that I don’t love you, Lucius. It’s just that I love the Lord more.”
He stood like an immovable statue for several seconds before he turned on his heels and walked away.
Chapter 15
Lucius stood looking up at the insulae, wondering how one of Rome’s greatest generals had been reduced to living in such a ratty apartment.
It had taken him two days to locate the general. No one in the army had known where he had disappeared to, and the Christians had been strangely reluctant to give him the information. It was only because of his mother that he found himself here now.
He was only just beginning to understand how entrenched his mother had become in this Christian cult, yet he couldn’t totally refute the religion until he had talked to Atticus. Had the man’s time in Jerusalem left him devoid of his senses? But if that were so, how could he have continued to command troops so decisively?
Climbing the stairs in the dark hallway to the apartment above, he hesitated just outside the door. Why was he even here? If he were honest with himself, he would admit that it was because of Anna’s rejection. What would make a lonely young woman reject a lover’s suit in favor of an invisible God?
In fact, what would make a mother choose this God over her only son?
Women were emotional beings, easily swayed by promises of eternal love, but what about the general? It had to be because of this religion that Atticus had been reduced to penury. Rome favored her retired troops with an allowance and, for generals who had excelled, it was a significant amount. So what was the general’s story? To understand Anna’s rejection of his suit, he had to find out.
He firmly rapped on the portal, hoping that the general would be home and able to answer some of his questions.
He heard movement within and the door opened slightly and a woman peered out. She looked to be about the same age as his mother, but whereas his mother’s appearance was usually perfectly manicured, this woman was ragged. Her gray hair hung long down her back, her face devoid of any semblance of makeup, yet her eyes glowed with an inner light that made her look almost beautiful.
“May I help you?”
Lucius pulled himself together. “I am looking for General Atticus.”
She looked him up and down. “And you are?”
“My name is Lucius Tindarium. I served under the general at one time.” He tried to see past her into the room. “I hoped to catch up on old times with him.”
Lucius heard a voice from inside the apartment. “Let him in, Abigail.”
Abigail moved to the side, still studying Lucius curiously. He eased past her, searching the room until he found Atticus seated at a desk. He put down the stylus he was holding.
“Come in, Lucius. It’s good to see you again. Allow me to introduce my wife, Abigail.”
Lucius dipped his head slightly. “Pleased to meet you.”
She smiled. “And you.”
Atticus glanced past Lucius. “Didn’t you have some things to get at the market, my dear?”
Abigail glanced from Lucius back to Atticus. “I do at that. I will go and see if Livia would like to go with me.”
Atticus nodded, then turned his look back to Lucius. “Pull up a stool and have a seat.”
Lucius peered around the dark apartment before he finally spotted two stools in the corner of the room next to a small table. Even in the dimness of the apartment he could see the plaster chipping from the walls. A door led to another room, which he supposed was the place where they slept. Most apartments had only two rooms, sometimes only one. Thinking of his own spacious home, he frowned. He wanted to ask about the general’s reduced circumstances but knew it wasn’t his place to do so.
Lucius set the stool in front of the desk and seated himself, his size and weight making the stool creak alarmingly.
Atticus leaned back in his chair. “What can I do for you, Lucius? Had you wanted to talk over old times we could have done so at your house.”
Leaning forward, Lucius fixed him with a compelling look. “Is what you said at the meeting true?”
Atticus gave a wry smile. “I thought that might be what brought you here. Yes. Yes, it’s all true.”
Lucius studied him, carefully searching for some sign of lunacy, but the bright eyes that met his were clear and lucid.
“You really believe this man Jesus was some kind of demigod and yet He allowed Himself to be crucified?”
Atticus shook his head. “Not a demigod, no, but the Son of God. And yet, more than that. Actually God in the flesh.”
How was that even possible? Emperors believed themselves to be gods; had this Jesus believed such a thing about Himself? “I don’t understand.”
“I’m not surprised. I’ve been a Christian for many years, yet I still don’t understand. It’s what we call faith.”
Lucius settled more firmly on the stool. “Tell me.”
Atticus began with the Jewish scriptures, many Lucius was familiar with. So many prophecies predicted the time of Jesus’s birth, life and death. He had learned most of them when he was a child and his mother would tell him stories before putting him to bed. When Atticus came to the part about the crucifixion, Lucius interrupted.
“You say He allowed Himself to die as a sacrifice so that mankind could be forgiven of their sins. You mean Jews, don’t you?”
Atticus smiled, shaking his head. He leaned back in his seat, steepling his fingers together. “No, I mean everyone. Even you.”
Lucius glanced around the apartment. “Is this what this faith in a Jewish God has gotten you? A life of destitution?”
“No, this is what my refusal to worship the emperor has gotten me. Nero would like to see me dead, but he fears the troops if something should happen to me.”
Lucius thought it an appropriate fear. The men loved and revered Atticus, much as they did General Galba. It would be better to let him live with a life of regrets than to kill him. Yet Lucius could see no sign of regret. In fact, the general seemed more content than Lucius with all his wealth.
“It’s the woman, Anna, that has brought you here, isn’t it?”
Surprised at his perception, Lucius didn’t bother to deny it. “She’s not like any woman I have ever known.”
A knowing smile curled the general’s lips. “And what exactly
is it that makes her so different?”
Lucius knew he had to be honest. Regardless of how much he might try to deny it, he had to accept it. “I know that it has to do with her God.”
“God is reaching out to you through her,” Atticus told him earnestly.
Lucius shook his head slowly, doubtfully, yet he knew in his heart it was true. He had been feeling that pull ever since Anna had come into his life. Things his mother had taught him as a small child had come back to him after so many years of being buried deep in his mind and heart.
The Messiah. Could it be true? He felt a hunger deep in his soul, a hunger that could only be assuaged by knowing the truth.
“Tell me,” he pleaded with Atticus. “Tell me everything.”
Anna was helping Claudius in the kitchen when Leah’s maid came running into the room.
“My lady, hurry! It’s the mistress!”
Anna dropped the knife she was using to carve the rack of lamb. Grabbing a towel, she hurried from the room after the maid.
“What is it, Bithia? What’s happened?”
“I don’t know! I found her on the floor in her bedroom. I can’t wake her.”
Anna and Claudius quickly followed the maid through the atrium and across the peristyle until they reached the outside door to Leah’s bedroom. Leah had chosen this room because it was closest to the fountain, and she found the spewing of the water into the basin from the statue comforting.
Anna didn’t bother to knock but pushed open the door and entered the room. She was as familiar with this room as her own, having spent many hours here with Leah. Claudius slowly followed her into the room, took one look at Leah lying on the floor and rushed to help Anna get her onto the bed.
Anna turned to the maid. “Bithia, find Magog and tell him to find Lucius quickly.” She wasn’t certain where he had gone, but she knew Magog wouldn’t give up until he found him.
“What can I do?” Claudius wanted to know.
Anna shook her head helplessly. “I don’t know. Would you mind going for the physician?”
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