I feel a sting deep in my chest because there’s that nagging fear at the back of my mind that I’ll never get the chance.
He must notice my expression shift from playful to somber because his eyes go serious. “I mean it, Viv. You’ll make an excellent mom.”
His mouth touches mine and my eyes drift shut, closing out everything but the feeling of being pressed against him with his tongue exploring my mouth and his hands roaming over my body. He coaxes me back and when I’m lying flat on my back, he climbs on top of me.
His slow kisses move down my torso. The softness of his lips on me contrasting with the rough grate of his stubble. The weight of his body on mine. This is a feeling I never knew I needed.
A shiver runs through me and then a sigh escapes my mouth when the nudging head of his cock breaks into me. He takes me in slow, languid thrusts. Each stroke soothes the worry inside of me and my body winds tighter and tighter and tighter until I can’t take anymore and we both explode with pleasure.
When it’s all over, we shower together and end up doing it again under the warm spray of the water. With my towel tucked around my body and my wet hair falling loose down my back, I go to my closet and break out my ironing board and a rumpled cotton blouse sitting on a hanger. Clinton leans on the doorframe and crosses his arms over his chest. “I don’t feel comfortable with you driving down there by yourself with the state you’re in. I’ll go with you.”
“What? Clinton, no…”
He cocks a brow. “What you’re scared your parents would disapprove of me? Fine, I’ll wait outside—"
“That’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t ask you to wait outside. It’s just…I just…Are you sure you wanna meet my parents? That’s sort of—you know—a big step.”
“It’s a step I want to take, Viv. Because I want you. That’s why I’ve been hanging around. If you think that I’ve been doing all this”—He gestures to the bed, his hand moving in a circular motion—“because I’m short on extra-curricular credits or something, then think again. I’m in love with you. Hard. And I’m going to have you. So you’d better figure out how you’re gonna fit a grimy bastard like me into your pristine little life.”
I swear I never knew my heart was this athletic. It does a series of flips and contortions that make my head spin. I abandon the iron and pad across the room to him. Toe-to-toe, I look up into his face. “Are you claiming me, Clinton Alvarez?”
His arm comes around my waist. “I’m claiming you, Vivian Hartley. You’re mine, Sunflower.”
Grinning, I press my lips to the center of his damp chest. Mine, mine, mine. This savage, sexy, wonderful brute is mine and I don’t ever wanna share.
He slides his fingers through my hair and tugs my head back softly so that I’m looking up at him. God, I love it when he roughs me up. “Now, you’d better start getting ready so we can get on the road because I can’t wait to get you back here tonight and show you exactly how I love on my girl.”
Chapter 25
Vivian
My father looked like he was about to have a major health crisis when I walked into the room with Clinton’s arm around me. The introductions were awkward and the small talk didn't come easy. Dad flipped into over-protective mode and I could tell that Clinton felt defensive. My mother’s small room at the nursing home didn’t seem big enough to contain all the tension.
But mom has a way of diffusing explosive situations. She spins conversations around, asking the right questions and sharing the perfect anecdotes that allow everyone to let their guards down. Today is no exception. I see the way Clinton warms up to her and eventually to my father. I catch the hard-earned smile that my father shoots Clinton’s way. It turns out that dad was actually quite amused that someone finally put Aunt Jean in her place.
Then my father asks the question that sucks all the air out of the room. "Clinton, what are your intentions for my daughter?" He leans back in the armchair where he's sitting and crosses his arms over his chest. He stares at Clinton from over the top of his glasses.
"Dad!" I scold, warmth flooding my cheeks. Why does he have to put the guy on the spot?
Clinton doesn't fumble, though. He refuses to flinch under my father's heated glare. "I intend to keep her." He reaches over and takes my hand in his. I squeeze his fingers in reassurance. My heart tumbles about at the pure conviction in his voice.
"You intend to keep her?"
"Yes, sir. There's no other woman for me. Vivian is it. And I'm going to keep her."
My mother's breathing hitches and her hand falls to dad's thigh. Oh mom—please don't get teary-eyed. Too late. She's already reaching for her handkerchief. Dad sizes Clinton up again, scrutinizing him mercilessly. My man's resolve stays firm, his eye contact doesn't waver and eventually, my father's shoulders relax.
Before long, my dad rises and pulls a packet of cigars from his shirt pocket. "I'm in the mood for one of these." He runs a cigar under his nose and basks in the rich scent. "Join me."
Clinton places a kiss on my knuckles and accepts my father's invitation. I watch as the two of them step into the hallway and head for the elevator.
“Do you think they’ll both come back in one piece?” I mutter nervously under my breath.
My mother turns to me and I know she can't help the excitement she feels inside. "He's so handsome, Vivian. And the way he looks at you...Makes me want to be thirty and in love again."
My brow lifts in surprise. "I—I thought you wouldn’t like him. Y’know because he’s all tattooed and stuff.”
“Oh honey, the paintings on a man’s skin don’t matter. It’s all about what’s in his heart. I just want you to be happy. It's been so long since I've seen that genuine smile on your face. I worship any man who can give that to you.”
“Even if he’s covered in tattoos?” I challenge.
“Even if he’s outside of your comfort zone,” my mother says, rephrasing my words.
I shake my head. "Wow, this isn't the reaction I was expecting from you. I came here ready to fight for him. He isn’t exactly the type of man I know you guys expected for me."
"I’d rather see you with a man covered in ink who’s wild for you than a clean-cut jerk who only thinks of himself." She winks at me and I break out giggling. "You’ve been holding yourself back for too long. With your plans and your checklists and your rigid expectations. This world isn't perfect and things don't always go to plan. It's okay to step out of your safety net, honey. Because if you're not mindful, your comfort zone easily becomes you're prison."
One corner of my mouth kicks up and I watch her. "Mom you sound like a fortune cookie."
Rolling her eyes, she waves me away. "This is wisdom I'm giving you, Vivian. You'd better soak it all up."
I laugh. "Any more sage words of advice for me?" I'm being just a bit snarky to divert from just how nervous I am.
She leans forward conspiratorially. “Yes, one more piece of advice…Have all the sex you can!”
“Mom!” My neck is hot and prickly all of a sudden.
My mother giggles at my discomfort. "Life's way too short to not be having sex. With someone who takes your breath away. And makes you feel like the most beautiful woman who ever lived. You owe yourself that much...But from the way you're smiling, I can tell that you already knew that."
Chapter 26
Clinton
Sonny looks up at me from his perch on Lisa’s lap and gives me a big, drooly, trusting smile. I smile back feeling like a bastard because, unlike the innocent toddler, I know exactly what’s about to happen.
I glare at Lisa’s stupid face again. “Is it really necessary to do this?”
She just shrugs like it’s no big deal. “It’s better that we get this over with now than wait until he’s older. He’ll forget all about it in a few minutes. Trust me.”
I fold my arms over my chest and glower at the crowd of people milling around, ducking in and out of the various stores surrounding us.
Lisa snickers under her b
reath. “Would you just lighten up?” she bounces the baby in her lap. “It’ll be over before you know it.”
She’s right. It’s true. Babies get their ears pierced all the time and Sonny won’t remember this in time. But I don’t want to see him get hurt. I can’t stand the idea of that little boy enduring any pain even if it’ll be short-lived. When the piercer approaches with the gun and disinfectant wipes in hand, I move to the other end of the shop. “I can’t watch this…”
I find myself standing in front of a jewelry display case. And I’m staring down at a row of diamond rings. My eyes move across the case, surveying the glimmering stones sitting on shiny bands. My attention snags on one in particular. A round diamond on a simple platinum band. And I swear it winks up at me.
Vivian’s words replay in my head. I close my eyes and I see the longing that played on her face when she spoke about wanting to be a mother and fearing that she’d never get the chance.
The damn ring is calling out to me but the voice at the back of my head protests. Too soon, man. Too soon. I force myself to walk to the other end of the counter, checking out the watches and bracelets. Before long, my attention goes back to the ring. I know, I know. It’s damn crazy but it’s all I really want. To put a ring on Vivian’s finger, to see her smiling up at me from under a sheet of white lace, to hear her telling me she’s mine forever.
When we went to see her parents the other day, I could see the doubt in her father’s eyes, I could feel his fear that I’m just a bastard playing with his little girl’s heart. He’s wrong about that. I don’t expect him to understand how I feel about Vivian. In a world where I was lost and confused, she’s now my anchor and there’s no way in hell I’d let her go.
With fierce determination dancing under my skin, I call over the sales girl and have her pull the ring from the display for me. Beautiful. Classic. Just like Vivian. From the moment I touch it, I just know that it’s hers. And I know that I’ll be the man to give it to her. I've been drifting for so long. Now, I just want to put down roots with a good woman, the right woman, the only woman for me.
I think back to the day that I met her, when she was berating me for knocking over her chalkboard sign. One of the first thoughts that went through my mind was ‘This woman is one you keep. This woman is one you put a ring on.’ At the time, I was shocked that nobody else had made her his wife. But now that she’s mine, sliding this ring onto her hand is a privilege that I’d kill to protect.
I pull out my wallet and shuffle out a handful of hundred dollar bills, the amount the sales clerk quotes me to reserve the ring until I come back with the rest of the money. She hands me a form to sign and gives me a copy with a receipt. I do my best to ignore the booming of my heart as I shove the papers into my wallet.
The pop of the piercing gun snaps in the air, jostling me out of my thoughts. Sonny’s wail follows not long after. Pivoting toward the sound, I shoot my venom at Lisa again as the piercer retreats, weapon in hand. The mother seems unfazed, of course, swiping through her phone as always. I steal the bawling child out of her arms. I bounce the little boy, rocking him until his screams subside into quiet whimpers.
Lisa gives me a wide smile. “So…engagement rings, huh?”
I roll my eyes. Her kid is shrieking his head off and all she can think about is gossip. “Don’t start…”
Lisa’s eyes go dreamy. “Vivian Hartley…she’s so damn classy. Like a ballerina. Or a Hollywood star.” She sighs. “Of course a girl like her gets the happily ever after, right?” The jeweler rings up the total and Lisa pulls out some crumpled up fives. “A girl like me, a recovering crack head, what do I get? A bunch of babies with no daddy. Babies I’ve got to take care of on my own while I watch their sperm donor running around with some pretty, classy, respectable woman. Goddammit, my life is shit…”
As we step out of the jewelry store, into the bustling shopping center, Lisa looks like she’s about to cry. “You went into the situation with your eyes wide open,” I tell her. “You don’t get to play the victim now.”
She physically recoils at my words, almost like I slapped her across the face. I probably shouldn’t be so tough on her. She’s never had it easy. She spent most of her childhood being passed around like a volleyball between a handful of drunk family members who split custody. As a teen, she got involved in drugs and gangs. And when she finally got the courage to turn her life around, she was faced with a massive betrayal of her trust. Yes, Lisa has had it hard but she told me she was ready to get herself on track for her children’s sake. That’s why I promised that I’d be there for her and the kids. It’s just that she makes it so damn hard sometimes.
Laying a hand on her shoulder, I slow her stride. She turns to face me. “Look—things weren’t always easy for you, but you’re making progress now. You’re doing better.”
She pulls in a deep breath that makes her narrow shoulders heave.
“You’re out of the trap. There’s nothing that can pull you back into that life. Right?” I look her dead in the eyes, searching for some confirmation. “Right?”
She can’t meet my gaze. Instead, she takes off at a brisk pace, her heels clipping on the shopping center’s tiled floor. I feel panic rise inside of me. No, Lisa. No…
Man, she’s been doing so good. She’s come so far. Don’t tell me that she’s backsliding. I jog to catch up with her. “You aren’t using again, are you? You aren’t back on drugs?” I adjust the whimpering toddler’s weight on my hip.
Lisa scowls at me and spits out. “No, of course not.”
Relief sweeps over me. Thank god…
But when her eyes go watery, I know that celebrated too fast. She looks off to the side and hisses. “I don’t take drugs. Especially not when I’m pregnant.”
Chapter 27
Vivian
From the moment I look up from the cash register and see Ernie tiptoeing into the bakery, I smell trouble. Oh crap…
When he sees me, a nervous, tentative smile spreads across his lips. “Vivian...” My gaze moves over his shoulder, searching for his wife. She’s nowhere in sight. That’s bewildering. She never lets him off his leash.
“Hi, Ernie.” I focus on his face. He’s as pale as a ghost and there’s this wild look in his eyes that makes me unsettled. I try on a smile. I’m not sure that it fits. “Are you okay?”
He glances out through the front window then he yanks up the collar of his felt jacket to cover half of his face. The Becker for Mayor pin on his lapel disappears from sight. “Yeah—I’m okay.” He wipes sweat off the top of his lip with the back of his trembling hand.
Okay, I’m officially spooked out. What’s going on with him?
Then it dawns on me. Oh my god. I look for traces of blood. “Ernie, did you commit a crime? Did you kill your wife?” My voice comes out a little too loud. Sadie looks over at me from the other end of the counter where she’s boxing up some cakepops for an older lady. She gives me the do-you-need-to-borrow-my-pepper-spray? look. I shake my head, silently telling her to stand down. For now.
Meanwhile, Ernie glances around surreptitiously, paranoid as hell. “What? No? Keep your voice down.”
“Sure,” I say as I take a cautionary step back from the counter. “C-can I help you with something?”
His eyes flit over the cupcake display. “Can I get a chocolate cupcake? And a lemon and a peanut butter, too. Maybe throw some sprinkles on them. And I also want an extra-large cappuccino with chocolate and caramel. Extra whipped cream. And if you could spike that with some whiskey—”
“Ernie, where’s Mandy?” This is becoming a bit troubling.
He glances at the window from over the top of his stiff collar. He shoves on a huge pair of aviator sunglasses. “Can we sit over there for a minute?” He jams his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the tables at the back.
I hesitate, not sure I want to get tangled up in whatever it is Ernie has going on. But he has this puppy dog look on his face that makes me feel bad
for him. “Sadie, you’ve got it covered back here?”
She looks Ernie up and down before giving me a skeptical nod. I lead the guy to a table and he sits opposite me.
“Okay, am I gonna need to get a lawyer before talking to you?” I demand. I’m not even joking.
Without warning, he reaches across the table and grabs my hands. “I’m leaving Mandy!”
The hinges in my jaw give out and my mouth falls open. “What?!”
He lurches across the table and cups my cheek in his hand. “Vivvy, you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved.”
“Ernie! What the hell are you talking about?” I drag my chair away from the table and his hand falls away.
“The bitch is crazy! She snoops through my emails, she checks my phone, she goes through my pockets. She’s convinced that I’m cheating on her. Plus, she has me on this crazy, no-calorie diet that has my blood sugar in a ditch. I’m losing my mind!” His eyes are bulging and deranged. “I need you back, Vivian!”
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