Blood Relations

by Rett MacPherson

  “What the hell? No, I’m not going to ask that question,” he said. “I’ve learned with you that if I don’t really want to hear the explanation, I should just not ask the damn question!” he yelled.

  “I can explain all of this,” I said. “If you could please just help me get my foot free.”

  “Oh, I can’t do that,” he said.

  “Why not?” I asked, panic rising in my chest.

  “This is a crime scene. I can’t disturb anything until the CSU gets here.”

  “Oh, you can’t be serious,” I said.

  He knelt down then and deliberately put the flashlight under his face. He smiled a wicked smile, reminding me of the Joker from Batman. “Oh, believe me. I am dead serious.”

  “Colin! Look, the crime scene is all screwed up anyway. Mr. Lahrs was up there, and then he was here on top of me, and now he’s over there. He’s been more places dead than most people have been alive. And … and … my footprints are everywhere. So please help me get my foot out. It’s bleeding. And my ass is freezing!”

  He stood up then and walked back toward River Point Road. I thought for a moment with a sinking sensation that he was just going to leave me there in the snow. I wasn’t joking about my butt being frozen. In fact, I was wearing just a normal pair of underwear and a pair of jeans, no thermal underwear or anything. Since my bottom half was in the water, it was getting to the point where I couldn’t even feel my butt any longer. I was becoming numb from the waist down. He stood with his hands on his hips, shaking his head back and forth. I could see people starting to gather up on the road.

  How embarrassing.

  “I thought I told you to stay away from down here. Not that it matters. I should have known better. I tell you to stay away from all sorts of places and you still go there. It’s like you navigate to the very places I tell you to stay away from. Hey, Torie,” he said, turning around. “Don’t you ever go to the North Pole. Not ever. Make sure you stay away from the North Pole. Now with any luck, you’ll go to the damn North Pole, and I’ll be rid of you!”

  “Colin, please. My foot is getting infected as we speak, and I think I may be getting frostbite. Or … hypothermia. That’s it. I’m getting hypothermia. Collette and I came down here because we heard Mr. Lahrs moaning. That’s it. That’s the only reason. I haven’t set foot down here since I was here with you on Wednesday.”

  “You didn’t think to call nine one one first?”

  “Well, Collette did, but I—”

  “Well, at least we know which one of Laurel and Hardy has the brains.”

  “If you’d just let me finish, Colin. I thought that in the time it would take to call nine one one, whoever was moaning could die. I mean, I didn’t know. I thought somebody could be drowning. So I just thought I’d see first, and then if it wasn’t something I could handle, I’d send Collette to call nine one one. I thought time was of the essence,” I said.

  He stood there a moment. I couldn’t judge his expression, because it was dark and the light from New Kassel was behind him. “I swear, Colin, my first thought was to help whoever it was.”

  “You swear you have not been down here any other time?”

  “I swear, cross my heart, and all that garbage. Please, just help me get my foot out of the wreckage. If I scoot down any closer, then my whole body will be soaking wet,” I said.

  He hesitated a moment, but he finally came forward and pointed the light at the hole where my foot had slipped through. He grabbed hold of my foot and twisted. “Here, if you just turn your foot—”

  “Ouch! Jeez, if I could have turned it in that position, I would have gotten free. I don’t think feet are meant to turn in that direction.”

  He played the flashlight across the snow-covered ground. The light fell across Jacob Lahrs, who was now lying facedown in the snow. Then he found a big rock a few feet away. He stood up and walked close to the river, obviously trying to disturb the snow as little as possible. He came back with the rock and smashed the wood around the area of my foot.

  “So, what did you see?” he asked. “When you found him.”

  “Uh … well, it all happened so fast. Basically, he was lying up over the wreckage and there was a whole lot of blood running down his face. My guess is, somebody smashed his head in.”

  “How do you know it wasn’t self-inflicted?” he asked, giving one final blow to the wood. It crumbled all around and he reached down inside and moved aside a piece of metal that my foot had gotten hung up on.

  “Well, if he fell, I wouldn’t think he’d be laid out on the wreckage like he was. Anyway, I couldn’t really see who it was, so I was stepping in the water to get a closer look, and I ended up stepping on the wreckage. It shifted and Mr. Lahrs fell on top of me.”

  My foot was finally free, and I jumped up to get as far away from Mr. Lahrs as possible. I shivered, and it wasn’t from the cold. I looked down on my coat and saw the blood on it. “Oh, gross,” I said, and took off my coat. I threw it in the snow, as if it were some sort of live organism trying to eat me.

  “What?”

  “It’s Mr. Lahrs’s blood,” I said, shaking my hands. “Do I have any more on me?”

  He flashed the light up and down my body. I found it difficult to stand on my left foot. Little hot flashes of pain shot up my ankle into my shin. “Yeah, you got some on your neck.”

  “Oh, oh, oh God. I’m gonna be sick.”

  “Just calm down,” he said. “You’ve seen blood before.”

  “Yeah, but I’ve never had somebody else’s blood on me, for crying out loud!”

  “Just breathe,” he said. “Put your head between your knees.”

  I did as he instructed, and I felt better. I had better things to worry about than puking. Like having frostbite and getting gangrene. Sheriff Brooke flashed his light on the ground. “Walk around this way,” he said. “Go up to the Murdoch Inn and tell Eleanore to run you a bath. As soon as you’re cleaned up and have on fresh clothes, have Collette take you to Wisteria General. You’re gonna need a tetanus shot. Plus, you probably sprained your ankle really good.”

  “Why can’t I just go home?”

  “Well, for one thing, home is a half a mile walk that way. Eleanore’s is right there. Plus, I don’t think the kids need to see you with somebody else’s blood on you.”

  “Good thinking,” I said.

  “I am capable of it once in awhile.”

  “Can I come down now?” Collette called from the road.

  “Yeah,” Colin yelled. “Come and take Miss Marple to Eleanore’s.”

  Getting up the bank of the river was a joke, since it was slippery with snow and I couldn’t use one of my feet. Not to mention that I was shaking and my teeth were chattering from being in the cold water. Collette pulled and tugged, trying to get me up over the bank, but I just couldn’t get enough of a hold in the snow and push myself with one foot at the same time. “This isn’t working,” she said.

  “Get behind me and push,” I told her.

  “I love you, Torie, but not that much.”

  The CSU pulled up about that time and began unloading equipment. The snowflakes were bigger now; everything was covered with at least six inches of snow. And that meant the footprints and evidence down on the river were quickly being covered up, as well. I just gave Collette a defeated look and sat down. Reluctantly, she got behind me and sort of positioned my butt on her shoulder and pushed. “If I’ve ruined my shoes, there is going to be serious hell to pay. And just for the record—this is the first time I’ve ever touched another woman’s butt.”

  “Shut up,” I said.

  I felt a hand grab mine and start pulling me up as Collette was shoving me. When I got to the top of the road, I found Elmer Kolbe standing there, smiling down at me. He reached down and helped me stand, then gave Collette a hand as she tried to climb up the bank, which was now a wall of slushy mud. So much for her expensive Italian shoes.

  “Thanks, Elmer,” I said. “I don’t t
hink I would have made it without you.”

  A few people had now gathered in the area, and Eleanore had come out on her front porch to see what was going on. It was more or less her backyard, after all. With the help of Collette and Elmer, I hopped on one foot to the Murdoch Inn and then up onto the porch.

  “Oh my Lord. What’s happened?” Eleanore asked.

  I held a hand up to her, indicating that I would tell her in just a minute.

  “Would you run home and get me a pair of sweats?” I said to Collette. “They’re in the middle drawer in the chest.”

  “Sure,” she said.

  “Oh, and clean underwear, too.”

  “Okay, Anything else?”

  “Mmm, my purse. If you want to stay with the kids so Rudy can take me over to Wisteria General, that’s fine. Or else you can take me and he can stay with the kids. I don’t care either way.”

  “We’ll work it out,” she said.

  I turned to Eleanore, who was in her robe and had her hair up in curlers. She looked weird without all of her makeup and jewelry. She had no eyebrows. All of this time, I never knew she had no eyebrows. She must have penciled them in.

  “Eleanore, I’m all yours. Sheriff says to run me a bath,” I said. “But you know, I think I’ll just take a hot shower instead.” I didn’t want to be in the same water that Professor Lahrs’s blood would be in.

  “Of course,” she said. “Right away.”

  Elmer helped me hop my way inside.

  Fourteen

  I was clean and dressed in dry clothes. Thank God. Of course, I would never be entirely convinced that little river organisms hadn’t infiltrated my body by way of the gashes in my foot. And no matter how many times I’d scrubbed Jacob Lahrs’s blood off of my skin, it still felt as if it were there.

  My foot and ankle looked like they had gotten caught in a meat grinder. Nothing really bled profusely, but I had large amounts of skin missing in various places. I was about ready to put my tennis shoe on the other foot and leave for the hospital, when the sheriff walked in.

  I was seated at the table in the kitchen of the Murdoch Inn, with its array of copper pots and pans hanging from the middle of the ceiling and what seemed like a thousand and one sunflowers scattered about the room. They were everywhere—on the wallpaper, the curtains, stuck to the fridge, and a big silk bouquet of them in the middle of the table.

  “What’s up?” I asked, putting my shoe on my right foot. My lips were still a little blue when I’d stepped out of Eleanore’s bathroom, and I still had a mild case of the shakes. But the hot shower had done wonders to warm me up.

  The sheriff nearly knocked one of the pans down as he made his way toward the table. I always forget how tall he is, until something like this happens. He steadied the pan with his hand. “You see the footprints down there in the snow?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I saw them when I first went down there. I just thought they belonged to whoever was doing the moaning.”

  “Looks like there are several sets. A few lead down to the boat, although they weren’t necessarily made at the same time. In fact, I think one or two sets were from earlier, because there is more snow covering them than the other set. Only one set leads back up the hill. I think those were Collette’s. I can’t be sure right now.”

  “Well, that’s good,” I said. “Right? You can follow them straight to the perp.”

  Colin hung his head in thought. “Seems our perp was a little smarter than that. I can only find one set that actually leads away from the crime scene. I think the perp realized he was leaving prints and headed for the river.”

  “That’s it?” I asked. “So, what, is he still in the river?”

  “I’m thinking he might have been in the river when you went down there.”

  I laid my head on the table. “Great.”

  “I think he just simply walked up the river, or down, as the case may be. Staying close to the edge, of course. And then got out at some point. But the snow will completely cover the prints before we can track them. Who knows how far he walked?”

  “You’re serious,” I said, looking back up at him.

  “Yeah.”

  “Wouldn’t he have a bad case of frostbite?”

  “Possibly,” he said. “I’ve got word out at the hospitals within sixty miles to call me if they get a patient with wet feet and frostbite, possible hypothermia. But who’s to say he’ll go to a hospital? Who’s to say he won’t get on a bus and go to a hospital in another state? Or if he had it all planned out, who’s to say he didn’t have a car waiting somewhere? All he has to do is cross the river on the ferry down in Sainte Genevieve.”

  I thought a moment. Would the perp think to do that? If it had been premeditated, I could see it. But if it had been an act of passion? If it were something the perp hadn’t intended to happen, would he think to cross the river and go to Illinois to go to a hospital? I don’t know if I’d think that clearly if I’d just smashed in somebody’s skull.

  “Any sign of a struggle? Like a fight?”

  “It’s too hard to tell.”

  “Do you think it was premeditated?”

  “Most likely. In fact, I think the perp waited for him to go down there and then followed him.”

  “Can you compare the prints to everybody’s shoes in town?”

  He laughed at me. “Okay, let’s say for a moment I have those kind of man-hours and I could literally compare every pair of shoes in New Kassel. The snow fell too fast to get a clear visual of the prints. I’ve got the scene covered with a big tarp now, so no more snow will fall on it, but I think the damage has already been done,” he said. He paused a moment and thought of something. “We got pictures of them, but I really think the snow was too heavy. They were mostly obscured by the time we got there. We might be able to narrow it down to the size and type of shoe, based on the photographs. Sneaker, boot, whatever. But I don’t know that I can narrow it down to brand or specific treads. And, like I said, I’m not sure what the photographs will even show.”

  The throbbing in my foot was becoming unbearable. “You really think the perp was still down there when I got there?”

  “I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe, maybe not. Lahrs could have been lying there moaning for a couple of hours.”

  “In which case, the perp would be long gone.”

  “Right.”

  “Anybody missing?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean from here. The inn. Jacob’s two assistants, or Mr. Chapel from Channel Six news?”

  “Newsome is checking on that as we speak.”

  “I just had a thought,” I said. “If the actual event occurred earlier than we thought, it’s possible the perp could have already been at a hospital and was released before you ever put out the APB.”

  “True,” he said.

  Something didn’t set right with me. I wasn’t sure what it was, but the thought of some guy walking around in the river for an hour just didn’t seem right. It was twelve degrees outside. He wouldn’t be that stupid. That was, of course, if the perp was a guy. Could have been a female. Although less likely. Not because women are less stupid, but because the type of crime seemed to fit a man.

  “So did you notice anything else while you were down there?” he asked. “Anything at all that you think might be of use?”

  “You mean did I see a guy hiding in the river?” I asked, nearly laughing at him.

  “Well, I might get lucky. You never know.”

  “No,” I said. “In fact, it seemed like an unusually quiet evening. Everybody was inside early because of the snow. I mean, people tend to go home early on Sunday evenings anyway because of school and work the next day. But it was quieter than normal. Ask Collette what she saw.”

  “I will.”

  “I’m sorry, but I was really more concerned with the body.”

  “Let’s get you over to the hospital, get you some antibiotics and a tetanus shot before you get lockjaw,” he said.
His eyes suddenly lit up. “On second thought, you with lockjaw would be a blessing. You wouldn’t be able to open your mouth!”

  “You can shut up anytime now. I just suffered a traumatic event, you know.”

  THE NEW KASSEL GAZETTE

  The News You Might Miss

  By

  Eleanore Murdoch

  I just have one thing to say. This town functions quite nicely on its own, and as soon as outsiders come in, somebody turns up dead. Of course, my husband, Oscar, reminded me that without the generosity of the tourists, we would be in the poorhouse or working the midnight shift at a fertilizer plant. Still, what happened to Professor Lahrs is most distressing. Especially since it happened a few hundred feet from our home. And how much tourism will we continue to have if people get murdered when they come here? Really, we must come up with a plan to screen those who come to spend any length of time in our town. That’s all I have to say.

  Oh, and the winner of the snowman contest was Davie Roberts. His snowman was a self-portrait. He used some blackberries his mother had in the freezer to give his snowman two black eyes. Father Bingham found this ingenious, and probably felt a little sorry for him, too.

  Until Next Time,

  Eleanore

  Fifteen

  The next morning, the sun shone brilliantly on the new snow. The sky was a deep, deep blue as I dropped the kids off at school and headed out to Wisteria to see my mother. I’d called Helen Wickland and asked her to take over my tours today, because there would be no way I could climb the steps of the Gaheimer House on my left foot. It was sprained all right, and I could barely walk. It was a good thing that I needed only my right foot to drive. My arm was killing me from the tetanus shot they had given me, and I think there were sections of my rear end that were still numb. Have I complained enough?