by Clara Capp
“I liked that,” she sighs.
She’s so cute when it comes to talking about sex. Stephanie doesn’t know how to talk dirty. She simply says however she felt or whatever she wants. Her inexperience with sex is adorable, and I love it.
“Me too, Steph.” I nibble her ear. “No more condoms. I’m marking you a different way now.”
* * *
Taime and I found the location of Eduardo’s storehouse. Well, one of them. But, this one is large in relation to the others he has. We’re going to burn that shit down.
Taime is going to take out most of the guys. I’ll help, but it’s not like he needs it. After most of them are gone, I’ll see what they’re up to. I’m like a cat who plays with its prey.
“I heard Eduardo tried to kill Stephanie again,” Taime says.
“Yep,” I respond.
“Please tell me you stopped having sex with her. It’s a bad idea.”
I don’t answer him. Not only have I continued to have sex with her, I now come in her without a condom, which is something I’ve never done before.
“You’re going to get bored of her,” Taime hisses. “You always do. It’s been what, two and a half months? You normally drop them before two weeks. How much longer do you really have?”
“Shut up, Taime.” I make sure to emphasize my full height, and I loom over him. It’s not as scary as it would be for most people. Taime is 6’3 and the best assassin in the U.S. I wouldn’t be shocked if it was around the world.
“Listen to reason instead of your dick. When you don’t feel like fucking her anymore, what are you going to do? Dump her? Then we have the wrath of Gary Hawthorne to deal with.”
“I don’t want to listen to this,” I grumble.
“The dude had me kill his wife, Shudevil. What else do you think he’s capable of?”
“I’m not going to get bored of Stephanie, and we’re going to end the conversation.”
Taime suddenly gets it. He knows she’s not like all the trashy chicks I’ve slept with before. We’re both in the business of sleeping with girls and letting them go.
“You’re going soft,” he says. “You actually like her. She’s a nice girl, but caring for people is bad in this lifestyle.”
“I’m not talking about this anymore. Park here.”
Taime grumbles as he pulls onto a side street. We’ll have a bit of a walk until we get to the store house. We know Eduardo will have men posted along this street, and we’ve brought more than enough ammo to take care of them.
The first man we see is plain clothed on the street. He’s leaning casually against a building, but his job is to alert the boss if something is wrong. Taime shoves a switchblade in his throat right as he notices us.
I watch blood ooze out of his neck as Taime repositions his body to make it look like he’s sitting. From far away, it looks like he just wanted to take a break.
We continue to the storehouse, Taime knifing everyone he sees. I don’t help. I don’t need to help. He’s the best at what he does.
“How many do you think I got?” he asks.
I use binoculars to peer through the small windows. “Hard to say. About half. It looks like about ten people in there, so we’ll be fine.”
I’ve watched as Taime took out a room of thirty men. It’s an art form. Within a second he acknowledges their location, and knows the best order to kill them.
“Leave one or two alive,” I say.
“Will do.”
We walk to the window of the storehouse. Guns are being unpacked from containers. They’re labeled with a famous food brand, so Eduardo has freshly smuggled these from over the border.
Taime sighs as he opens the window. “I wonder what it would be like to work an office job.”
He kills them in less than three minutes. He left one—it looks like the man in charge—bleeding on the floor, but very much alive.
“Boring, probably,” I respond.
I walk to the man, stepping over dead bodies on the way. I approach him and pat him down, looking for his cell phone.
“Call Eduardo,” I say.
He speaks and curses me out in Spanish, and I honestly don’t have time for it. I grab a splinter of wood and pierce it through his thigh.
“I didn’t shove it through your kneecap, so you’ll still be able to walk after this. Are you going to call Eduardo, or should I keep going?
I’m going to kill him no matter what. But he doesn’t need to know that yet.
The man curses me out in Spanish as he unlocks his phone. I don’t care. I just need to talk to Eduardo. When I see his name on the caller ID, I snatch the phone from the man.
Eduardo answers with very rushed Spanish. I can normally understand at least half of what he’s saying—Italian and Spanish have similar structure—but I don’t catch anything.
“Que pasa, Eduardo?” I say.
“Shudevil.” He doesn’t even sound mad, which irritates me. Eduardo is a professional at keeping his cool. “So nice to hear from you. We haven’t spoken since the day I almost killed you.”
“It’s been too long,” I respond. “Listen. You stole hundreds of thousands of dollars of drugs from us and attempted to murder Gary Hawthorne’s kids. You tried to kill Stephanie twice. So, I’m going to burn down this warehouse, and I think it’s best we end it here.”
“Is that her name? I’m almost glad it failed. She’s such a beauty; it would be a shame to kill her.” Rage flows through me when he talks about Stephanie like that. “There are millions of dollars worth of guns in that storehouse. Hardly a fair trade.”
“Well, there’s that saying about not being able to put a price on life. Think it over, Eduardo. I know this’ll be good for us.”
I stab the end button and throw the phone on the floor. I’m so fucking pissed at Eduardo, for starting all this shit and for talking about Stephanie like that.
Taime has been pouring gasoline around the warehouse while I was on the phone. He’s almost finished when I hang up the phone.
“We good?” I ask.
“Yep.”
“Ok. Give me that.”
He doesn’t ask questions. Taime passes me the gas can knowing full well what I’m going to do with it. I don’t think Eduardo will be taking me up on my offer. So, I’m going to show him just how serious I am.
I pour the remaining contents on the man who’s still alive. He starts to beg for his life, which I ignore, as I’ve done countless times before.
“Let’s go.” I toss the match on the man and don’t look back.
Stephanie
“Shu Shu!”
I’m always excited to see him as he walks through the door. Tonight, he looks extra exhausted. As I wrap my arms around him there’s the smell of gasoline, and something else I don’t quite recognize.
“Hey Steph,” he gives me a kiss on the head. “Thanks for watching her, Tony.”
“You know I’m always happy to. I’ll see you two later.”
“Why do you smell like—” I stop myself. There’s a reason he smells like gasoline, and I probably don’t want to know what it is. “I mean. I’m happy you’re back.”
I smile at him and he offers a kiss in return.
“I need to get these clothes off,” he mutters.
He walks over to the laundry machine and strips from his clothing. I watch every inch of his magnificent body as he peels off his shirt, pants, and finally his boxers.
I hope he’s in a good mood. I’ve wanted to ask him about going to the doctor to get birth control, but this week has been so busy.
I’m pretty sure Shu doesn’t want kids. And if he does want them, it’s probably not with me. It makes me sad each time I think about it, so I try to push the thought out of my head.
Is it weird I wouldn’t mind a guy I’ve known a few months to be the father of my kids? Probably. But Shu is my…everything. I can’t imagine my life existing without him in it.
Hang on. Shu has to have kids. At dinner Anto
nio asked if we wanted to get married, so Shu could continue the bloodline. Shu hasn’t brought it up again, so I guess he’s opposed to the idea.
What am I saying? I should be opposed to the idea. Yes, I care for Shu, but I’ve known him three months. I can’t forget to be logical.
Shu walks back up to me, stark naked, and starts kissing my neck. I sigh as his hands make their way under his shirt and start playing with my nipples.
Wait. This is the exact opposite of how the night was supposed to go. I need to ask for birth control so I don’t disappoint him by getting pregnant with his child.
His hand trails down to my shorts, and he slowly circles around my bundle of nerves. It sets my lower half ablaze, and my need for him becomes immediate. He’s already came in me four times this week, I suppose once more won’t matter.
I can sense the frustration on him. Whatever happened tonight wasn’t good, and he’s looking for immediate release. He rips my shorts down and bends me over the sofa.
Shu plunges into me, and I let out a gasp as my body accommodates him. He grabs my hips and starts to thrust in and out of me so hard it moves the sofa with us. He goes in so deep that he bottoms out inside of me, and I tremble from the mixture of pain and pleasure.
He’s making grunts I’ve never heard before. A weird, animalistic side of Shu has emerged, and it’s quite apparent as we fuse our bodies together.
“Fuck,” he mutters.
I’ve heard that ‘fuck’ a few times. Shu needs to come, but he will never orgasm before me. He starts to play with my clit, his fingers sending electric shockwaves through my body. The touch is just enough to throw me over the edge, and I grab sofa cushions as I fall into my waves of pleasure.
Shu releases a flood of come into me, and I feel the warmth seep into my womb. I sigh in happy pleasure as he holds my hips, his hardness giving the occasional twitch.
He presses a kiss to my spine. “Let’s go to bed.”
“Mmm.”
He carries me bridal style to bed and wraps me in the comforter before joining me. Shu gives me a delicate kiss and pulls me in his arms.
“I love you.” The words are so quiet I almost don’t hear them.
“Huh?” I must’ve misheard him. There’s no way Shu said he loves me.
He takes a deep breath and says it a bit louder. “I love you. You coming into my life is the best thing that has ever happened.”
My eyes tear up. Shu loves me.
“I love you, too,” I say. “I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”
“You do?” he exhales in relief. “I thought you would run away for sure.”
“I’d never run from you, Shu Shu,” I say.
“Most do.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Thank you for loving me, even when I’m a monster.”
“You’ll never be a monster to me. Ever.” I cup my hands around his face. “So, don’t say that in my presence.”
* * *
Rina and I are at the poetry group. After I got over that I have to speak in front of a group of people, I started to like it. It’s nice to be able to write my feelings down in an abstract way and tell people.
Because I can’t say what’s going on directly. I can’t even tell Rina, who’s my best friend. She has a general idea of my situation, but she doesn’t even know how bad things are.
She seems a bit skittish today. Rina normally performs her poem with a gusto, and everyone marvels at her delivery. Today, it’s somewhere between monotonous and depressed.
Everyone else thinks it was how the poem is supposed to be delivered—it was also saddening—but I know something bad has happened to Rina.
We sit together as people disperse.
“So…what’s going on?” I ask.
“What do you mean?” She sits straight and her body stiffens.
“Something is wrong. I heard it in your poem.”
“Nothing.” She answers too quickly, then pauses. “Just boy problems. You know. Normal things.”
I didn’t even know Rina had a boyfriend. She’s never mentioned anything about him before, so I always assumed she’s single. My feelings are hurt because she didn’t tell me, but I still press on.
“I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.” I try to hide the hurt in my voice. “What happened?”
“I don’t,” she blurts. “Some guy I used to see showed up on my doorstep, and I don’t know what to do.”
I don’t know what she should do, either. I have almost zero experience with boys, so I’m really not the best person to get advice from. But, I can try to help.
“Well…why did you guys break up?”
“He left me,” she says. Her face starts to crumple, but she pulls it together. “But it was kind of a difficult situation. That’s why I don’t know what to do.”
I’m about to ask her why, but Shu shows up at the door.
“We need to go, Steph,” he says.
“Right now?” I ask. “Can’t I stay a few more minutes?”
He looks at Rina, who now looks fine. I don’t know how she does it. Once I’m sad, I’m a sobbing mess.
“Yes, now. Sorry Rina,” he adds.
“It’s fine,” she responds. “I’ll see you two later.”
I give her a hug and walk out with Shu. He holds my hand as we walk out the door, and I sulk as I walk alongside him. Jerk. Why’d he have to pull me out when I was having a conversation with her?
“Why’d we have to leave?” I ask. “Rina was sad. I shouldn’t have left.”
I kick a pebble on the sidewalk as we near the car. I’m a bad friend for leaving her like that. She would’ve never done that to me.
“I’m sorry,” he strokes my back as we walk. “But Antonio texted me. He wants us at the mansion tonight, and it’s already four thirty.”
“Oh.”
Great. I get to spend another night listening to murders getting planned. Sometimes it’s hard going against my ethics. But, I need to accept that not everything is black and white.
If I’m going to be with Shu, I have to accept this new lifestyle. I’m no longer Stephanie, the quiet accountant who enjoys helping people. I’ll be Stephanie, girlfriend of the man who strikes fear into people’s hearts. Even though he’s not scary.
Shu gives me a kiss before we get in the car. “I promise I’ll make it better.”
“I know,” I squeak.
“C’mon. Let’s go get changed.”
Stephanie
A valet takes Shu’s car when we pull up to the mansion. How rich is one person that they have a valet for their house? That’s not something I’ve ever seen, even growing up with my dad and his billionaire friends.
One of the butlers opens the doors for us as we arrive. It’s weird. There were staff last time, but it felt much more casual. Shu parked his own car. Antonio has everyone on duty tonight.
Shu naturally grabs for my hand. He always has to use his left. His right needs to be available should he need to grab the gun that rests at his side pocket. Annoying, but I like the protection.
I’ve been here once, but I’m still stunned by the mansion’s beauty. Most people are into the ‘modern’ look with their homes, but this has more of an old beauty to it. The mahogany staircase gleams as a chandelier shines overhead. There’s an intricate wood paneling that lines the wall, and I can tell each inch has been hand carved rather than mass produced. It’s stunning.
My heels click on the marbled floor as we walk to the dining room. The sound is further emphasized by the vaulted ceilings.
Shu and I pass through the entryway to the dining room, and what I see makes my stomach drop. I rip my hand from Shu’s, and the sense of dread continues to overwhelm me.
“Daddy?” I squeak.
He’s sitting next to Antonio. They were in the middle of a conversation, so he didn’t see me holding hands with Shu. But James is here, and he most definitely saw.
“Ah, Stephie.”
My dad walks over to me and give
s me a hug. I half reciprocate. I’m still too shocked from his and James’ presence, and that my brother saw me holding hands with Shu.
“I didn’t know you’d be here,” I choke.
“James and I were in the area, and Antonio invited us to dinner. I haven’t seen you for months, and he suggested you come, too.”
“Of course.”
“Not happy to see your dad?” He smiles at me.
“No! Just surprised,” I say.
We join everyone at the dinner table. I sit next to my dad, and Shu sits next to me. Unlike last time, I make sure to keep a respectable distance from Shu. My dad can’t know about us.
“So, Stephie. How has your time with Shudevil been?”
I see James look at me from the corner of his eye, and I try to shoot him a look that says please don’t tell. My brother and I run hot and cold. Sometimes, we’re the best of friends. The rest of the time we don’t feel like speaking to each other. It’s unfortunate that we’re on cold terms right now.
“It’s fine,” I say. “He does a great job protecting me.”
“Ah yes, I heard there was another incident. I’m glad that was taken care of easily.”
He says it so simply, like it’s every day that his only daughter almost gets shot. My dad didn’t even call me after what happened at Disneyland, so I figured no one told him about it. Somehow, it hurts worse that he knew and didn’t call.
I can’t respond to that. I just nod at him.
“How’s Slippers?”
Finally, something I want to answer. My dad knows I love that cat as much as I love my family. I tell my dad everything Slippers has been doing. How he’s started to like the hat Shu bought him for Christmas, and he wears it everywhere.
“You call him Shu?” My dad’s eyes narrow at the tall man sitting next to me.
“Yes. I don’t like the name Shudevil. It sounds mean,” I lie, trying to throw him off the idea that there’s anything going on between Shu and me.
It’s a perfectly believable lie for me. I’ve never liked being mean to people or hurting their feelings.