by Jami Denise
I gathered my belongings, shrugged my sundress on, and slid my feet into my sandals. I was through watching the spectacle, and we’d already garnered the attention of everyone else in the vicinity, and I didn’t need it, frankly.
Flynn would definitely get an earful later.
I moved toward the entrance to the hotel, and unfortunately had to pass them as I did so. As I got closer, he looked up, a stern and concerned look marring his handsome face. I gave him a fake smile, and he stood a little straighter as I approached.
“It was nice talking to you, Flynn. Maybe we’ll get a chance to talk again later. I’m going inside and rest. I think the sun got to me.”
I gave my fingers a little wiggle, same for my ass, and tried to ignore the dual glares that followed me as I opened the big glass door and disappeared into the elevator.
My room was freezing cold when I pushed the door open. The chill hit me like a slap in the face. Between the heat and Flynn, I was boiling up.
I threw all my things on the table next to the door and headed straight to the bathroom. I wanted to wash off the sweat and the disgusting jealousy as quickly as possible. There was a deafening silence in that huge room. The sound of my breath ricocheted through the empty space like the vibration of a drum.
The water streamed down from the faucet, and I added some scented bubbles to the bath. It was by far my favorite part about living there. I’d missed my bubble baths, and I needed it more than anything at that moment. I needed to relax my body and clear my head.
Climbing into the tub, I sighed. I almost longed for the hard-working days at the diner, running plates and pouring coffee until I felt like my knees would buckle. I missed the quiet evenings sitting by the lake with Jackson, listening to crickets and drinking sweet wine. I knew I belonged right where I was, regardless of what happened with Flynn, but it didn’t stop me from wanting that dream I’d buried deep inside—once again.
Having your cake and eating it too was a myth. I’d known it all along. It didn’t mean I couldn’t fantasize about a far-off place where the skies were wide and dark and full of stars, and a good man was by my side, loving me and keeping me warm.
I chuckled into the empty room, my eyes closed and my head leaning back against the tub. I put my feet up over the edges and stretched out, letting the little-castle-in-the-sky-fairytale play over and over behind my eyes.
“What I wouldn’t do to know what elicited that smile.”
I jolted up, covering my breasts with my hands, and stared at Flynn. I shouldn’t have been surprised that he followed me, but I was a little ticked off.
“I thought I told you I would talk to you later. Is this how it’s going to be with me staying here? You can come and go as you please?” I snapped.
He crouched down and put his elbows on the edge of the tub as he peered down at me. “You knew I’d do whatever I damn well pleased when you agreed to stay here. Are we going to keep playing games and asking stupid questions forever, or are we finally going to get to the fucking point?”
“Did you fuck her while I was gone?”
I surprised myself with the frank question, but it would only eat at me if I didn’t know. It was the first step to either walking away from him or getting rid of her altogether.
“Yes,” he said without missing a beat.
“Who is she to you? I want the honest truth.”
“Are you jealous?”
I glared at him and pushed a wave of water into his face. “You’re a smug bastard, you know that?”
He smiled. “I do.” He wiped away the droplets of water and pushed his damp hair off of his face. “Now, you tell me, Janie... were you a good little girl while you were away?”
“I’m never a good girl, Flynn. You should know that by now.”
He ran a finger over my face from forehead to chin, and I shuddered. “Do you care for her?” I asked.
“She’s a means to an end. Nothing more.”
I shook my head and pushed myself backward as if I’d been slapped. “Do you have any idea how fucked up that is? You’re leading her on! You’re playing with both of us, and I can’t do that again.”
He stood, and with one smooth motion, untangled the tie that kept his trunks closed and pushed them down his legs, exposing his erection before climbing into the tub and tugging me forward. My legs straddled his, our chests pressed together and he brought my face into his hands.
“Get this through your thick skull. I am not playing games with you. The games ended the first night I had to let you walk away from me, Jayne. I’ve tried to get you to understand how I feel, but you’re so fucking stubborn. What my father wanted out of the relationship between me and her is null and void. She knows I will never commit to her—I will never marry her. She’s too busy trying to get at my money to pay attention. She’s a quick fuck. They all are. You are more. You always have been.”
“You can’t see her anymore,” I blurted out. I could feel my eyes bulge out at my outburst and ultimate confession.
I wanted him all to myself.
“I have no intention of seeing her again. If you would have waited for me instead of storming off like a spoiled brat, I would have explained this to you.”
“I’m not a brat,” I said softly. “I’m confused. And terrified.”
His lips brushed over mine and his hands slid down my throat and over my back, pulling me closer so that I was right against him. I was positively aching, throbbing with a need so intense that I was sure the second he touched me I would fall to pieces.
“You have to trust me, Jayne.”
“I’m trying,” I said against his lips.
He kissed the side of my mouth, down my cheek, and over my throat, pulling the soft skin into his mouth and sucking hard. “Did you fall in love with him, Jayne?”
I gasped. That was definitely a question I wasn’t expecting.
“I...I...”I stuttered. “I care about him, but...”
I couldn’t make the words leave my mouth. I wanted to just end it all—all the games, the runaround, the confusion. There was no telling what I would be opening myself up to if I did, and if it backfired, where did that leave me?
“You still love me.”
I could feel him smile against my skin, and I couldn’t help but smile myself. He was so full of himself, but having him throw his honesty out there so freely gave me a renewed bravery.
“I might.”
He pulled his lips away and leaned back, groaning when his back hit the faucet. “This wasn’t the way I wanted this to go.”
Standing quickly, he lifted me out of the tub and shifted me so that he could carry me. Carefully, he walked across the tiled floor and into the bedroom. I couldn’t take my eyes off him as he laid me down. The tension between us was thick. The room around me blurred and again, my heart and my head wanted to go to war.
“You might?” he bit out as he hovered above me. “You’re so full of shit.”
His lips crashed down on mine, and suddenly we were a tangle of legs as our bodies adjusted to each other. All those nights of him sleeping next to me, touching me in the most innocent and careful of ways while my body called out and begged for his to take me seemed so far away. As if reading my thoughts, he chuckled.
“I was a perfect gentleman, holding you in my arms, not touching that pussy, and having your ass warm my cock. It almost drove me insane. Your sweet whimpers while you slept kept me up at night. The same sounds you make when I’m so deep inside of you I’m hitting your soul.”
“Jesus,” I whined. “Touch me.”
His hand snaked between us, and as soon as his fingertip rubbed against my clit, my back arched off the bed. I was already there—it wasn’t going to take much to make me fly.
He worked me with his fingers until I thought I was going to go blind. We were breathing each other in more than kissing, but his lips never left mine. His eyes blazed through my eyes, and I could see my thoughts reflected in them. He was as unsure as I was,
no matter how confident he acted on the outside.
The tenderness in his touch contradicted the burning need in his eyes. We were both dropping the curtain. The charade was over. We were back at square one. Starting over scared the shit out of me. My worst—and best—memories were behind us. The hostility had faded into a yearning between us, something organic and unexpected. We owed it to ourselves to work on it, to try. I was willing to do that.
“I wanted to take my time, but not right now. I’m going to fuck you fast and hard. You’ll feel this for days.”
I had no doubt. The tension was that tight. I wasn’t interested in foreplay or time-consuming bedroom games from him. He could suck my toes and lick every inch of me later. I planned on doing some exploring of my own, but at that very moment, I wanted him inside of me.
“Does this end tonight,” I breathed out, trying desperately to hold on until I felt my walls close in around him. “Is this the beginning or the end of this?”
He curled his finger inside of me and I cried out, arching my back and spreading my legs wider to allow him more room. His thighs moved between mine, and when I felt his cock brush against me, I lifted my legs up and over his hips, pulling him forward.
His hand disappeared from between us, and then he lifted one of my legs over his shoulder as he pushed inside of me.
“This is where I belong. Where. I. Fucking. Belong.”
Taking long, slow, steady strides, he moved in and out of me with unwavering purpose. His hand moved to my hip, holding me with a punishing grip as if he thought I’d jump off the bed and disappear.
I wasn’t going anywhere. I was tethered to that bed like an anchor in quicksand. All I could think, feel, smell, or taste was him. The sweat of his brow glistened in the dimly lit room. Everything he had was mine.
A small gasp escaped my lips as he pistoned his hips and drove into me harder and faster. He lifted my ass from the bed and pulled back so he was sitting up and my bottom half was up in the air. Both of my legs were thrown over his shoulders, and I had to cling onto the blankets beneath me to keep me from sliding further.
“Fuck, yeah.”
He slammed into me with renewed fortitude, and I don’t think I’d ever been taken so hard and so thoroughly in my life, not even by him. He had a lot to prove, and he was going to make good on his promise. I would feel everything he did to my body the next day.
I shook as my orgasm rocked my body. I pulled myself up so that I could cling onto him. I needed to be as close to him as possible. I wanted his skin against mine, his arms around me, holding me like he never wanted to let go. I wanted his eyes, his dark, mystifying eyes. The eyes that haunted me in daydreams and nightmares every single day that I was away from them.
I just wanted him.
“Come on, baby. Let go for me.”
I pulsed around him and could feel him swell inside me as he got closer to his own release. It was coming, and as my fingernails dug into his back, he grabbed the back of my head with one hand and brought my lips to his.
His tongue rubbed against mine, and then his teeth bit down on my bottom lip as he came, hard.
We fell against the mattress, still connected and happily sated. He chuckled as he slipped out of me and lay beside me.
“You’re going to kill me.”
I rolled so I was on my side and propped myself up on my elbow so I could look at him. Seeing him so happy, so content and de-stressed was amazing. I loved when he was open and free, not the smug jackass he gave to the rest of the world. The arrogance was always there—he knew how he affected me, but there was something he gave me that I never saw outside of the bedroom.
Love. Love made him beautiful.
“How am I supposed to leave you after this?”
His eyes softened as he reached over and pushed my sweaty hair away from my face. “I have to deal with some business tonight, but I don’t think I can force myself to leave this bed.”
“Then don’t,” I said seriously. “What is it you have to do?”
His lips quirked and he mirrored my pose “Nothing you have to worry about. I was invited to a private poker game. It’s at some old fuck’s house. It’s easy money.”
I rolled my eyes. “So, don’t go. If it’s just some game, you can skip it.”
He kissed the top of my head and jumped out of bed, giving me the best view of his ass as he crossed the room. “They’re business associates. They’re expecting me. The host only got these people to come because I was going to be there.”
He disappeared into the bathroom, came out a moment later with a soft cloth, and crawled back on the bed, bringing it between my legs to wash me up.
“You never answered me before. Are you on the pill?”
I sat up, soothed by the warm water, and nodded. “Thank you for that, and yes.”
He threw the wash cloth across the room and lay down on top of me, using his elbows to support his weight. Laying sweet, soft kisses across my face, he cemented just how committed he was to this.
“I want you in my suite when I get back.”
I pouted, pushing my lips out for effect. “How cute. You still think you can tell me what to do.”
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t push me. I’ll drag you over there and chain you to my bed if I have to. You’re my woman, Jayne. You need to be there. I want you there when I return. When I wake up. When I fall asleep. You don’t need this place anymore.”
I bit down on my tongue to prevent the barrage of insults I wanted to spew out at him. He was such an egotistical, bossy bastard sometimes.
Actually, all the time.
“Do you always have to butt heads with me? I like this place. The bathroom is better than yours.”
Rolling us so that he was bottom with me on top, he pulled his hand back and swatted me firmly on the ass. I squealed and tried to jump away from him, the onslaught of pain shocking me. He held me down firmly, his palm rubbing where he’d punished me.
“I’ll have someone build the same fucking bathroom in that suite. We won’t be here all the time, anyway. We’ll move into a house, and you can have any fucking bathroom you want. Five of them. I don’t give a shit.”
My head dropped down on his shoulder and I groaned. Give and take was a hell of a bitch. He drove a hard bargain, but every compartment in my brain rattled with each order he barked out.
“We still have a ways to go before I move anywhere. I just got here, Flynn. We’ve kissed and made up twice, but we still haven’t combed through all the things we need to. I’m frightened and confused. That’s not going to change because you got me off.”
“You’re still afraid of me? What the hell does that mean?”
He got off me and sat at the edge of the bed, grabbing his shorts off the floor and pulling them up his legs. He shook his head, and I could see the tension in his shoulders.
I sat up and went to him, hugging him around the middle and laying my head against his back. “I want this, but I wanted it just as badly before. You hurt me, and I can’t just forget about everything because you’re here in my bed. This has to be more than that.”
He looked over his shoulder and nuzzled my head with his cheek. “This is everything. I don’t know how many times I need to tell you that.”
“Don’t tell me,” I whispered. “Show me. Make promises I can feel.”
NINETEEN
Flynn was persistent about taking me away for the weekend, but I was able to get out of it—for the time being. There were too many what-ifs remaining, and too many secrets floating around between all of us.
Vince was mysteriously absent for the next several days. At first I thought it had something to do with Flynn and me and our newly kindled relationship, but the longer he stayed away, the more I began to wonder.
He wasn’t exactly avoiding me—we’d talked on the phone several times, but there was a noticeable distance between us.
I decided to go in search of him while I had some time to kill. Flynn was away playing
poker for the night, and I wasn’t expected to meet up with him until much later in the evening. He’d wanted me to go with him, sit at his side like a cherub, but I refused. It was the perfect opportunity for me to go do some digging around, and I didn’t want him discouraging me.
As I left my suite, I found Collins in the hallway and rolled my eyes. He gave me a curious once-over, probably wondering where I was going dressed so casually. He rarely saw me in anything other than a dress—or less—so I just smiled and shrugged as I walked past him.
“Don’t bother following me. I told him I was going out, and I don’t need a babysitter.”
“I’m not following you. Don’t worry,” he answered gruffly. “What you do is none of my business.”
That made me laugh. The guy followed me to Oklahoma for Christ’s sake. “Whatever you say, old man.”
He didn’t try to follow me, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t. I slipped out of the elevator once we reached the main lobby, and I ducked out of the casino via the back hall. It was closer to the parking garage, and that worked out perfectly for me. He’d assume I took this exit for that very reason—to grab my car. I had no doubt that there was some monkey hidden in that casino watching my every move on some camera, so I walked through the garage and then out to the street ahead.
It took me no time to hail a cab, and once I was safely inside, I barked out my directions to the driver, sat back, and smiled.
I could only imagine the look on that old bastard’s face.
We were only minutes away from Vince’s house when my phone began to chime relentlessly. I slid it out of my purse, pushed mute, and slid it back inside. They were so damn predictable, and Flynn and I were going to have a long talk about the definition of trust. If we were going to go further, he had to eighty-six Collins. I’d been watching my own ass since the age of ten. I didn’t need some bitter asshole following me around like I was a naughty teenager.
I had the cabbie drop me off at the corner, paid him the fare, and climbed out of the car. I walked down the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street, keeping my eyes trained on the two-story house I was prowling. Again, it was lit up like a Christmas tree, full of life and possession.