by C. L. Moore
They stood under the great arch of the Temple, looking out over the shining land beyond. Afterward he could never quite remember what had made it so unutterably strange, so indefinably dreadful. There were trees, feathery masses of green and bronze above the bronze-green grass; the bright air shimmered, and through the leaves he caught the glimmer of water not far away. At first glance it seemed a perfectly normal scene—yet tiny details caught his eye that sent ripples of coldness down his back. The grass, for instance…
When they stepped down upon it and began to cross the meadow towards the trees beyond which water gleamed, he saw that the blades were short and soft as fur, and they seemed to cling to his companion’s bare feet as she walked. As he looked out over the meadow he saw that the long waves of it, from every direction, were rippling towards them as if the wind blew from all sides at once towards the common centre that was themselves. Yet no wind blew.
‘It—it’s alive,’ he stammered. ‘The grass!’
‘Yes of course,’ she said indifferently.
And then he realized that though the feathery fronds of the trees waved now and then, gracefully together, there was no wind. And they did not sway in one direction only, but by twos and threes in many ways, dipping and rising with a secret, contained life of their own.
When they reached the belt of woodland he looked up curiously and heard the whisper and rustle of leaves above him, bending down as if in curiosity as the two passed beneath. They never bent far enough to touch them, but a sinister air of watchfulness, of aliveness, brooded over the whole uncannily alive landscape, and the ripples of the grass followed them wherever they went.
The lake, like that twilight in the Temple, was a sleepy blue clouded with violet and green, not like real water, for the coloured blurs did not diffuse or change as it rippled.
On the shore, a little above the water line, stood a tiny, shrine-like building of some creamy stone, its walls no more than a series of arches open to the blue, translucent day. The girl led him to the doorway and gestured within negligently.
‘I live here,’ she said.
Smith stared. It was quite empty save for two low couches with a blue coverlet thrown across each. Very classic it looked, with its whiteness and austerity, the arches opening on a vista of woodland and grass beyond.
‘Doesn’t it ever get cold?’ he asked. ‘Where do you eat? Where are your books and food and clothes?’
‘I have same spare tunics under my couch,’ she said. ‘That’s all. No books, no other clothing, no food. We feed at the Temple. And it is never any colder or warmer than this.’
‘But what do you do?’
‘Do? Oh, swim in the lake, sleep and rest and wander through the woods. Time passes very quickly.’
‘Idyllic,’ murmured Smith, ‘but rather tiresome, I should think.’
‘When one knows,’ she said, ‘that the next moment may be one’s last, life is savoured to the full. One stretches the hours out as long as possible. No, for us it is not tiresome.’
‘But have you no cities? Where are the other people?’
‘It is best not to collect in crowds. Somehow they seem to draw—it. We live in twos and threes—sometimes alone. We have no cities. We do nothing—what purpose in beginning anything when we know we shall not live to end it? Why even think too long for one thing? Come down to the lake.’
She took his hand and led him across the clinging grass to the sandy brink of the water, and they sank in silence on the narrow beach. Smith looked out over the lake where vague colours misted the blue, trying not to think of the fantastic things that were happening to him. Indeed, it was hard to do much thinking, here, in the midst of the blueness and the silence, the very air about them…the cloudy water lapping the shore with tiny, soft sounds like the breathing of a sleeper. The place was heavy with the stillness and the dreamy colours, and Smith was never sure, afterwards, whether in his dream he did not sleep for a while; for presently he heard a stir at his side and the girl reseated herself, clad in fresh tunic, all the blood washed away. He could not remember her having left, but it did not trouble him.
The light had for some time been sinking and blurring, and imperceptibly a cloudy blue white twilight closed about them, seeming somehow to rise from the blurring lake, for it partook of that same dreamy blueness clouded with vague colours. Smith thought that he would be content never to rise again from that cool sand, to sit here for ever in the blurring twilight and the silence of his dream. How long he did sit there he never knew. The blue peace enfolded him utterly, until he was steeped in its misty evening colours and permeated through and through with the tranced quiet.
The darkness had deepened until he could no longer see any more than the nearest wavelets lapping the sand. Beyond, and all about, the dream-world melted into the violet-misted blueness of the twilight. He was not aware that he had turned his head, but presently he found himself looking down on the girl beside him. She was lying on the pale sand, her hair a fan of darkness to frame the pallor of her face. In the twilight her mouth was dark too, and from the darkness under her lashes he slowly became aware that she was watching him unwinkingly.
For a long while he sat there, gazing down, meeting the half-hooded eyes in silence. And presently, with the effortless detachment of one who moves in a dream, he bent down to meet her lifting arms. The sand was cool and sweet, and her mouth tasted faintly of blood.
2
There was no sunrise in that land. Lucid day brightened slowly over the breathing landscape, and grass and trees stirred with wakening awareness, rather horribly in the beauty of the morning. When Smith woke, he saw the girl coming up from the lake, shaking blue water from her orange hair. Blue droplets clung to the creaminess of her skin, and she was laughing and flushed from head to foot in the glowing dawn.
Smith sat up on his couch and pushed back the blue coverlet.
‘I’m hungry,’ he said. ‘When and what do we eat?’
The laughter banished from her face in a breath. She gave her hair a troubled shake and said doubtfully:
‘Hungry?’
‘Yes, starved! Didn’t you say you get your food at the Temple? Let’s go up there.’
She sent him a sidelong, enigmatic glance from under her lashes as she turned aside.
‘Very well,’ she said.
‘Anything wrong?’ He reached out as she passed and pulled her to his knees, kissing the troubled mouth lightly. And again he tasted blood.
‘Oh, no.’ She ruffled his hair and rose. ‘I’ll be ready in a moment, and then we’ll go.’
And so again they passed the belt of woods where the trees bent down to watch, and crossed the rippling grassland. From all directions long waves of it came blowing towards them as before, and the fur-like blades clung to their feet. Smith tried not to notice. Everywhere, he was seeing this morning, an undercut of nameless unpleasantness ran beneath the surface of this lovely land.
As they crossed the live grass a memory suddenly returned to him, and he said, ‘What did you mean, yesterday, when you said that there was a way—out—other than death?’
She did not meet his eyes as she answered, in that troubled voice, ‘Worse than dying, I said. A way out we do not speak of here.’
‘But if there’s any way at all, I must know of it,’ he persisted. ‘Tell me.’
She swept the orange hair like a veil between them, bending her head and saying indistinctly, ‘A way out you could not take. A way too costly. And—and I do not wish you to go, now…’
‘I must know,’ said Smith relentlessly.
She paused then, and stood looking up at him, her sherry-coloured eyes disturbed.
‘By the way you came in,’ she said at last. ‘By the virtue of the Word. But that gate is impassable.’
‘Why?’
‘It is death to pronounce the Word. Literally. I do not know it now, could not speak it if I would. But in the Temple there is one room where the Word is graven in scarlet on the wall, an
d its power is so great that the echoes of it ring for ever round that room. If one stands before the graven symbol and lets the force of it beat upon his brain he will hear, and know—and shriek the awful syllables aloud—and so die. It is a word from some tongue so alien to all our being that the spoken sound of it, echoing in the throat of a living man, is disrupting enough to rip the very fibres of the human body apart—to blast its atoms asunder, to destroy body and mind as utterly as if they had never been. And because the sound is so disruptive it somehow blasts open for an instant the door between your world and mine. But the danger is dreadful, for it may open the door to other worlds too, and let things through more terrible than we can dream of. Some say it was thus that the Thing gained access to our land eons ago. And if you are not standing exactly where the door opens, on the one spot in the room that is protected, as the centre of a whirlwind is quiet, and if you do not pass instantly out of the sound of the Word, it will blast you asunder as it does the one who pronounces it for you. So you see how impos—’ Here she broke off with a little scream and glanced down in half-laughing annoyance, then took two or three little running steps and turned.
‘The grass,’ she explained ruefully, pointing to her feet. The brown bareness of them was dotted with scores of tiny blood-spots. ‘If one stands too long in one place, barefoot, it will pierce the skin and drink—stupid of me to forget. But come.’
Smith went on at her side, looking round with new eyes upon the lovely, pellucid land, too beautiful and frightening for anything outside a dream. All about them the hungry grass came hurrying in long, converging waves as they advanced. Were the trees, then, flesh-eating too? Cannibal trees and vampire grass—he shuddered a little and looked ahead.
The Temple stood tall before them, a building of some nameless material as mistily blue as far-off mountains on the Earth. The mistiness did not condense or clarify as they approached, and the outlines of the place were mysteriously hard to fix in mind—he could never understand, afterwards, just why. When he tried too hard to concentrate on one particular corner or tower or window it blurred before his eyes as if the focus were at fault—as if the whole strange, veiled building stood just on the borderland of another dimension.
From the immense triple arch of the doorway, as they approached—a triple arch like nothing he had ever seen before, so irritatingly hard to focus upon that he could not be sure just wherein its difference lay—a pale blue mist issued smokily. And when they had stepped within they walked into that twilight dimness he was coming to know so well.
The great hall lay straight and veiled before them, but after a few steps the girl drew him aside and under another archway, into a long gallery through whose drifting haze he could see rows of men and women kneeling against the wall with bowed heads, as in prayer. She led him down the line to the end, and he saw that they knelt before small spigots curving up from the wall at regular intervals. She dropped to her knees before one and, motioning him to follow, bent her head and laid her lips to the up-curved spout. Dubiously he followed her example.
Instantly with the touch of his mouth on the nameless substance of the spigot something hot and, strangely, at once salty and sweet flowed into his mouth. There was an acridity about it that gave a curious tang, and the more he drank the more avid he became. Hauntingly delicious it was, and warmth flowed through him more strongly with every draught. Yet somewhere deep within him memory stirred unpleasantly…somewhere, somehow, he had known this hot, acrid, salty taste before, and—suddenly suspicions struck him like a bludgeon, and he perked his lips from the spout as if it burnt. A tiny thread of scarlet trickled from the wall. He passed the back of one hand across his lips and brought it away red. He knew that odour, then.
The girl knelt beside him with closed eyes, rapt avidity in every line of her. When he seized her shoulder she twitched away and opened protesting eyes, but did not lift her lips from the spigot. Smith gestured violently, and with one last long draft she rose and turned a half-angry face to his, but laid a finger on her reddened lips.
He followed her in silence past the kneeling lines again. When they reached the hall outside he swung upon her and gripped her shoulders angrily.
‘What was that?’ he demanded.
Her eyes slid away. She shrugged.
‘What were you expecting? We feed as we must, here. You’ll learn to drink without a qualm—if it does not come for you too soon.’
A moment longer he stared angrily down into her evasive strangely lovely face. Then he turned without a word and strode down the hallway through the drifting mists towards the door. He heard her bare feet pattering along behind hurriedly, but he did not look back. Not until he had come out into the glowing day and half crossed the grasslands did he relent enough to glance around. She paced at his heels with bowed head, the orange hair swinging about her face and unhappiness eloquent in every motion. The submission of her touched him suddenly, and he paused for her to catch up, smiling down half reluctantly on the bent orange head.
She lifted a tragic face to his, and there were tears in the sherry eyes. So he had no choice but to laugh and lift her up against his leather-clad breast and kiss the drooping mouth into smiles again. But he understood, now, the faintly acrid bitterness of her kisses.
‘Still,’ he said, when they had reached the little white shrine among the trees, ‘there must be some other food than—that. Does no grain grow? Isn’t there any wild life in the woods? Haven’t the trees fruit?’
She gave him another sidelong look from under dropped lashes, warily.
‘No,’ she said. ‘Nothing but the grass grows here. No living thing dwells in this land but man—and it. And as for the fruit of the trees—give thanks that they bloom but once in a lifetime.’
‘Why?’
‘Better not to—speak of it,’ she said.
The phrase, the constant evasion, was beginning to wear on Smith’s nerves. He said nothing of it then, but he turned from her and went down to the beach, dropping to the sand and striving to recapture last night’s languor and peace. His hunger was curiously satisfied, even from the few swallows he had taken, and gradually the drowsy content of the day before began to flow over him in deepening waves. After all, it was a lovely land…
That day drew dreamily to a close, and darkness rose in a mist from the misty lake, and he came to find in kisses that tasted of blood a certain tang that but pointed their sweetness. And in the morning he woke to the slowly brightening day, swam with the girl in the blue, tingling waters of the lake—and reluctantly went up through the woods and across the ravenous grass to the Temple, driven by a hunger greater than his repugnance. He went up with a slight nausea rising within him, and yet strangely eager…
Once more the Temple rose veiled and indefinite under the glowing sky, and once more he plunged into the eternal twilight of its corridors, turned aside as one who knows the way, knelt of his own accord in the line of drinkers along the wall…
With the first draft that nausea rose within him almost overwhelmingly, but when the warmth of the drink had spread through him the nausea died and nothing was left but hunger and eagerness, and he drank blindly until the girl’s hand on his shoulder roused him.
A sort of intoxication had awakened within him with the burning of that hot, salt drink in his veins, and he went back across the hurrying grass in a half-daze. Through most of the pellucid day it lasted, and the slow dark was rising from the lake before clearness returned to him.
3
And so life resolved itself into a very simple thing. The days glowed by and the blurred darkness came and went. Life held little any more but the bright clarity of the day and the dimness of the dark, morning journeys to drink at the Temple fountain and the bitter kisses of the girl with the orange hair. Time had ceased for him. Slow day followed slow day, and the same round of living circled over and over, and the only change—perhaps he did not see it then—was the deepening look in the girl’s eyes when they rested upon him, her growi
ng silences.
One evening just as the first faint dimness was clouding the air, and the lake smoked hazily, he happened to glance off across its surface and thought he saw through the rising mist the outline of very far mountains, and he asked curiously.
‘What lies beyond the lake? Aren’t those mountains over there?’
The girl turned her head quickly and her sherry-brown eyes darkened with something like dread.
‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘We believe it best not to wonder what lies—beyond.’
And suddenly Smith’s irritation with the old evasions woke and he said violently:
‘Damn your beliefs! I’m sick of that answer to every question I ask! Don’t you ever wonder about anything? Are you all so thoroughly cowed by this dread something unseen that every spark of your spirit is dead?’
She turned the sorrowful, sherry gaze upon him.
‘We learn by experience,’ she said. ‘Those who wonder—those who investigate—die. We live in a land alive with danger, incomprehensible, intangible, terrible. Life is bearable only if we do not look closely—only if we accept conditions and make the most of them. You must not ask questions if you would live.
‘As for the mountains beyond, and all the unknown country that lies over the horizons—they are as unreachable as a mirage. For in a land where no food grows, where we must visit the Temple daily or starve, how could an explorer provision himself for a journey? No, we are bound here by unbreakable bonds, and we must live here until we die.’
Smith shrugged. The languor of the evening was coming upon him, and the brief flare of irritation had died as swiftly as it rose.
Yet from that outburst dated the beginning of his discontent. Somehow, despite the lovely languor of the place, despite the sweet bitterness of the Temple fountains and the sweeter bitterness of the kisses that were his for the asking, he could not drive from his mind the vision of those far mountains veiled in rising haze. Unrest had wakened within him, and like some sleeper arising from a lotus-dream his mind turned more and more frequently to the desire for action, adventure, some other use for his danger-hardened body than the exigencies of sleep and food and love.