by Cydney Rax
—19—
VERON
Men don’t respond to words, they respond to no contact.
“Now I understand what the book is talking about,” I say to myself. It’s Friday and I’m in my HHR, on my way to work. I told Demetria I’d be back on Monday, but I decided to go in a day early. It’s strange—I haven’t known him for long, but not being able to talk to Seaphes these past few days made me feel like Jesus bleeding on the cross. But even Jesus rose from the dead, so now’s a good time for me to make an appearance and test whether or not leaving a man alone for a while is really how to get his interest. I hope my absence has caused Seaphes to think hard about his actions, and I am curious to see whether he’s remorseful. If not, I’d say he has a missing sensitivity chip.
When I pull up to the employee parking lot, I see that the only two empty spaces are near the far end of the perimeter. Great, I think. I’ll have a bit of a walk. Grabbing my leather hobo bag and my briefcase, I shove a copy of my favorite book under my free arm and get out of the car. Immediately, I hear a horn honking and I look up. Seaphes waves and pulls in next to my vehicle.
Oh, no, I’m not ready for this yet.
I quickly pull out my cell phone and press the instrument to my ear.
“Hey, Mike, what’s going on? Sorry to just now be calling you back,” I say aloud, pretending to be chatting.
I hear footsteps behind me and feel a tap on my shoulder.
I glance back at Seaphes, who’s gesturing at my briefcase, asking if I want him to hold it. I shake my head no and turn away with the phone. “Yep, it was good seeing you too.” I laugh loudly.
When my phone actually starts ringing I stop walking.
“You gonna answer that?” Seaphes asks, stopping right next to me. I try to smile at him, but my eyes don’t totally meet his. I press End on the phone and cut Demetria’s call off.
“What’s up, Veron? Why won’t you talk to me?”
“I’m just kind of busy right now.” I attempt to start walking again.
“I won’t let you alone until you talk to me.” His voice is loud enough to make my legs stop moving. “Are you really that angry with me? Or are you playing a game?”
“Oh, Seaphes, I’ve just—I’ve been busy.”
“Too busy to return my calls?” He reaches inside his briefcase and pulls out another white rose and hands it to me. “I may not have all the right words to say, but maybe this will help communicate to you that I’d love nothing more than to have peace with you, and maybe a cup of coffee. Now you go get settled in your office, but I’ll be coming to see you within the next twenty minutes, okay, Veron?”
“O-okay.”
“See you in a bit.” He leaves my side, confidently walking away from me with his head held high.
After I put my stuff down in my office, I take my rose and head straight to Demetria’s office and shut her door. She is sitting at her desk and looks up at me with widened eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“Never mind that. Tell me what to do. He’s making it easy and hard at the same time.”
“He who?”
“Who else? He told me he’s coming to see me in a few minutes, and he is actually behaving very sweet,” I say and blush. “I like it, but I don’t know how to react to this, especially since you told me that you saw him hugging on Ursula again while I was gone. Is this a trick?”
“Of course it is. Smoke and mirrors, girl. You’ve got to wise up. Stay here; let him come to your empty office. And we should talk anyway. I need to tell you what happened last night.”
“Can’t it wait?”
“No! I started to call you last night, but it was so late I thought you’d be sleep.”
“Oh, yeah?” I say, eyeing her closely and sniffing my flower. “What happened?”
“Um, don’t be impressed with all those flowers Seaphes is throwing at you. If a man is giving you flowers, it’s usually because he feels guilty.”
“Well, sure.” I shrug. “He’s trying to make up with me for using me to make Ursula jealous and all the misunderstandings.”
“Girl, don’t be naive. There’s more going on between him and Ursula than he wants you to know.”
I just stare at her openmouthed.
“They fucking!” she blurts.
“How you know?”
“She told me.”
“And you believe her? I don’t. She’s lying.”
“Girl, she and I had a long conversation last night—”
“How’d you end up talking to her?”
“Listen! And she described in detail how Seaphes has a mole on his left calf. She said his nipples are very taut and sensitive to the touch. She said he doesn’t ever kiss her ’cause he has mono.”
I sit down heavily.
“I’m sorry you have to hear this about your boy, but you need to know what you’re dealing with.”
“But…women lie.”
“So do men.” Demetria’s eyes start glazing. “This one here, oh, he’s a real piece of work. But you don’t own him, so technically he can mess around with whomever he wants.”
“Yep, that’s true, I guess…but it’s not what I want to hear.” I start pacing and stare down at the ground. “If he doesn’t really care for me, why doesn’t he just leave me alone?”
“Men have a hard time explaining what they really feel on the inside, especially if it means they’re going to have to face an angry woman when they do. Remember, Michael West told us how some men will lie just to spare your feelings?”
“Well,” I say, looking directly at her. “I think I want to talk to Ursula face-to-face.”
Demetria shrugs. “What good will that do?”
“She can tell me what happened…in her own words.”
“What, you think I’m making this up or something?”
“No, never that. I’d just rather talk to her directly, just like I plan to talk to Seaphes directly.”
“No, girl—don’t talk to him directly. Bad idea.”
“What, you have to run interference for me?” I ask. She just nods. Right—the book. “Okay, fine. Well, maybe you can get him alone and find out what he wants. It sounds like he’s showing you his real side.”
“I guess. I’ll try running into him today and see if he still has that rotten attitude that he showed me.”
“By the way, what exactly happened with y’all last night?”
“Nothing more than what’s already happened.”
Puzzled, I ask, “Can you be specific?”
“No, I gotta go,” she says, glancing at her ringing phone. “I’m sure you need to get to work, too. We’ll meet up later, alright?”
“I guess I have no other choice,” I tell her. Too bad. I’m sure she’s going to tell me what Seaphes said about me when they were hanging out last night, and I’m impatient to hear.
As I return to my office, my mind is like a busy, clogged-up expressway. There’s so much going on—I’m trying to decipher Demetria’s words, analyzing Seaphes’s behavior and wondering what is really going on with him and Ursula. I want to trust him so much, but everyone is telling me not to and to do things against my instincts. I’m starting to really freak out. I wonder if I should have even come back to work today.
It just feels so familiar. It’s like every time I meet someone, there’s something or someone more worthwhile who captures his attention. I’m feeling that fear…but I’m not going to let it get to me. I’m not going to mope around this time, letting despair convince me that I’m not worthy to be loved. I’m going to ignore that negativity and face this.
I’ve survived so much. I’ll survive this, too.
With that thought, I rush to the bathroom, close and lock the stall, and pray. And once peace wraps its fingers carefully around my heart, I emerge—sane, strong, and ready to take the next step, no matter where it leads me.
—20—
SEAPHES
Later that afternoon, I stand outside Veron’s office
. The door is open, but her back is turned and she doesn’t know I’m here. I watch her as she opens and closes several drawers in a gray metal file cabinet, swinging her hip to close it. She’s wearing a brown belted dress that tightly wraps around her backside. Her leather high heels are resting next to her feet. A pair of honey-colored thigh-highs is also strewn on the floor.
I swallow hard and tiptoe into her office, walking behind her to cover both her eyes with my hands.
She gasps. “Who’s that?”
“Who do you want it to be?” I say, disguising my voice. I smile and move in closer so that the back of her head tickles my nose and the side of my face is pressed against hers. “You like how this feels?” I whisper.
“Mmmm,” she giggles. I enjoy the feel of her wiggling hips pressed against me as she tries to balance herself on her feet.
“Why weren’t you in your office when I came to see you?”
I feel her body stiffening up against mine. I want to reach out and hold her, but she pulls away.
“Seaphes?”
I remove my hands and ask, “You’re disappointed it’s me?”
She slowly turns around, her eyes narrowing. “I can’t really answer that.”
“Well, I’m happy to see you, too,” I say, slightly sarcastic. “How was your break?”
“Not long enough.” She turns her back to me and opens up a drawer.
“It’s like that, huh?”
“No, I’m just kinda busy right now.”
“I told you I was coming to see you this morning, but you weren’t there. Didn’t answer your phone. Why are you avoiding me?”
“Seaphes, we’re cool. I just had a lot of things going on this morning.” She repeats words that sound hollow, like her heart isn’t in it, but she feels obligated to say them, anyway. Sometimes it’s like this girl is two different people.
“Here, I have something for you,” I say. She doesn’t react at all. “Can you turn and look at me? I feel better if I can look in your eyes.”
She turns to face me, her body contorted as if she’s in anguish, and finally looks directly in my eyes. I stare deeply, trying to find the woman who I first got to know not too long ago.
“Here’s my form for that Walk America event. Hope it’s not too late.”
“Never too late.” She clears her throat. “I don’t tell people this, because I want them to commit to coming, but you actually could have shown up on the day of the event and still walked. The paperwork isn’t that important. But thanks, anyway.”
“Is there anything I can do to get you to talk to me? Really be straight with me?”
“I am talking to you.”
“But you’re acting brand-new with me, Veron. Like we never hung out, never connected. And I don’t like it.”
“Well, what do you like, then?” She smirks at me, as if she’s full of skepticism.
“I’d like,” I say, kneeling down to pick up her thigh-high stockings. “I’d like to put these back on your legs.”
She gasps and breaks eye contact. But I won’t give up.
“Go sit on the chair, please.”
Veron moves away from me, walking backward, until her bottom falls on the chair and she scoots back.
“Thank you,” I tell her, and, holding a thigh-high in each hand, I approach her, getting down on one knee only inches away from her legs. I set aside the stockings and take her right foot in my hand, caressing it and watching her face all the while. She bites her bottom lip and grunts.
“Ah, ah, ah,” I tease her. “I’m not even finished yet and you’re making noise.”
She groans again and I quietly laugh.
When I roll up one of the stockings and slide it onto her toes she catches her breath. “That tickles…but keep going.”
I roll the other stocking over her left foot, up her calves, her thighs. “Now,” I tell her, letting my hands rest on her thighs and gently rubbing the soft fabric. “Is there anything you want to talk to me about?”
“Um,” says Demetria real loud, walking into the office. “What y’all two doing?”
“Not now, Demetria,” Veron pleads. “Girl, let me get back with you in a few minutes.”
Demetria just stands there. I continue to discreetly rub my fingers across one of Veron’s thighs. She bites her bottom lip.
“This is embarrassing. Can you give me a moment, please, Demetria?”
“This is all wrong,” Demetria complains. “How can you do stuff like this in the open? Anyone can just walk up in here. Better be glad it was only me. Girl, you have a lot to learn.”
“She’ll be okay,” I speak up, moving my hands off Veron’s body. I’m suddenly embarrassed about my actions. I shouldn’t be taking advantage of this lady, not at work. “And you’re right; anyone could walk up in here. I’m sorry, Veron.”
“Seaphes?” Veron says.
“I try not to conduct myself this way in the workplace. So let me get on outta here. And it was nice talking to you, Veron. Demetria. ’Bye.”
“But—”
Veron’s voice rings in my ear. But I keep going.
Later, my phone lights up and I see Demetria’s name on caller ID. “Yeah.”
“Seaphes, you gotta start using your brain.”
“Meaning?” I ask.
“Veron isn’t used to men like you. She gets caught up easily, and I don’t want to see her get hurt.”
“What makes you think I plan to hurt her?”
“It’s just getting obvious that she likes you, and I want to make sure that when y’all do get involved, that you treat her the way she needs to be treated.”
“And have I done anything wrong so far?”
“That’s what I’m trying to point out to you. You gotta stop fucking up. I can help you out.”
“Wait, hang on. If you’re so worried about me hurting her, why are you trying to help me reach her? What are you getting out of this?”
“I have something to prove to you.”
My ears prick up. “Like what?”
“I don’t like how you sized me up and think you know me when you really don’t. I want to show you how I can be and at the same time school you on how to handle my friend. She wasn’t all that impressed with those white roses, hadn’t you even noticed?”
When I was silent, Demetria says, “I told you. You need to listen to me. As a matter of fact, what are you doing tonight? Let’s meet.”
“Uh, I have something to do.”
“Cancel it,” she commands. “You still never fixed a sista’s computer, so you can kill two birds with one stone.”
“Maybe that’s not where I want to be tonight, Demetria,” I say.
“Then you won’t know what you’re missing,” she says, and hangs up. I’ll have to think about this one.
When I ring her doorbell, she calls out that the door is open, and I hear the sound of water steadily running in her bathroom. Unable to resist, I walk toward the splashing noises and stop to stare at her, laughing as she furiously runs a sponge over and around the porcelain sink and countertops.
“You don’t have to do all that.”
“Oh, but I do,” she explains. “Some old toothpaste is still glued to the counter and it just annoys me. I should’ve wiped it up a while ago. Sorry.”
“See, that’s why I like you, Veron. Why are you apologizing? And anyway, a messy counter is nothing.”
“Can you go back and repeat what you said?”
“I said a messy counter ain’t anything to worry about.”
“Seaphes!” And her lips spread into a smile that bubbles up through the surface of her heart.
I reach out to her, take that soggy sponge out of her hand, toss it to the floor and grab her precious face between my fingers. Looking down into her engaging eyes, I enjoy the feeling of her looking back up at me.
“I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.” Closing my eyes, I move my face nearer to hers. I can feel her heart beating out of her chest.
&
nbsp; But I think twice about my actions—I don’t want to move too quickly with this. I don’t want to scare her away. I move away and open my eyes.
“That’s enough.”
“It is?” She gasps.
“It is. Let’s go sit back on your couch.”
She nods her head, lets me take her by the hand, and we go sit down.
“Thanks for the carrot cake,” I say. “How’d you know it’s my favorite?”
“A lucky guess?”
“You guess well, young lady.”
“Thanks.”
“So, I have to say, I’m shocked you let me swing by.”
Veron nods. “I guess I was curious. You said that what you wanted was so important that it couldn’t wait or be done over the phone.”
“Not everything can be done over the phone.”
My cell rings and I see Demetria’s name pop up. “I’ll let it go into voice mail.”
Veron says, “You could’ve gotten that. I would have excused myself.” But then her eyes harden, and she seems to be having some kind of inner dialogue.
“We’re disconnecting, Veron. What’s up?”
“It’s just that I get conflicting responses from you. It makes me feel on edge. And I don’t know who might be calling you, you know? Oh, let me be quiet, sometimes I talk too much, just like you.”
“No, talking is good. Silence can hurt. At least I know where you’re coming from instead of trying to guess. I want to know how you feel.”
I scoot closer to her and finally kiss her. She smells like sandalwood, something I didn’t expect. I push my tongue into her mouth, and she responds, rolling her tongue on top of mine then pulling out and giving me a few sweet kisses on my lips before she leans back.
“I am getting hot,” she grunts, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand.
“I’m hot, too,” I admit, adjusting my dick.
She blushes deep red and looks away. Suddenly I realize that Demetria was right—this girl is vulnerable, maybe doesn’t know how to handle this stuff. “I really see what she’s talking about now—” Shit. I can’t believe I let that slip out.