by Cydney Rax
I give in—whether he knows it or not, this man has made me so happy. I don’t give a rat’s ass how it was initiated. He’s made me feel so good inside. I stand up and spread out my arms. “Oh, Seaphes, I am sorry. I feel so bad. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all this. I’m flattered, honored, and I would love to go out tonight. I actually love nice surprises, so this is really what I need. I had a hard day.”
He takes me in his arms, squeezing me and rubbing my back. “That’s what I’m talking about, babe. I need to focus more on you.” His eyes are twinkling with relief.
I am happy on the ride to dinner and excited when we reach The Woodlands, a swanky part of town. But when we pull into the parking lot of P.F. Chang’s I start to have mixed feelings. This is the joint where Demetria and Thaddeus went for Valentine’s Day, and I detect her influence. But I try to relax and enjoy myself with Seaphes, because for the first time in forever I feel like I have him all to myself.
He pulls out my chair for me and I sit down.
“You okay?” he asks, sitting across from me, his eyes searching mine.
“I’m good. I’ve never been here before. Would you order for me, whatever you think I should have?”
He winks and nods, and we start off the evening with a glass of white zinfandel, wonton soup, and a few vegetarian lettuce wraps, which taste so delicious I want to order some more.
“I must say,” he says. “You look stunning tonight. I mean that.”
“Thanks, Mr. Hill, so do you. But why are looks always so important to men?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Like today for instance. Not to name names, but I was informed you were all up in some woman’s face at work,” I say, giving him a sideways glance. “She looked very attractive and was getting a lot of attention, but you apparently followed her around like a puppy. Why y’all gotta overreact?” I say this so sweetly, like a mother gently scolding her four-year-old child.
“Um, uh…well, you know how we do. If we like what we see, we’re going to look. I’ve even seen preachers take a look at a beautiful woman.”
“Yeah, well, that kind of thing can be rude.”
“Well, let’s not concentrate on this. That’s all surface stuff. Right now is what counts. Let’s try and start our relationship anew. That’s what I want.”
“Mmm hmmm,” I agree and take a tiny sip, enjoying the flavor as it stimulates my tongue.
“So you were able to hook up Demetria today?”
“Is that what she told you?”
“That’s what you told me. I haven’t talked to her today.”
“Right. Yeah, she practically cursed me out because I had bailed out on her regarding her PC, but I got her a new motherboard and some other accessories. So now she’s able to get her taxes done.”
“Well, wonderful. I’m glad you were able to help her.”
“You know, let’s change the subject again, baby.”
“But, Seaphes, you assured me I can talk to you about anything under the sun. Did you really mean that? Or is there a list of preapproved topics I should refer to?”
He laughs and shakes his head. “You’re starting to sound like Demetria.”
“Why do you mention her so much? Demetria this, Demetria that. Demetria, Demetria, Demetria.”
“Hold on here. What’s wrong, Veron? I want us to have a nice time, but you’re going out of your way to pick a fight. What’s up with you?” He peers at me for a moment. “I’m beginning to think that you are incapable of being happy.”
“I-I, I’ll be right back,” I say, feeling grief stricken.
I end up hiding out in the ladies’ room, my usual course of action when I am paralyzed to the point of not being able to think rationally. I want to kick myself. Instead, I get on the phone.
“Yo, what’s up, Vee?”
“Michael West, you gotta help me.” I explain things to him, and once again, he hits it right on the nose.
“You keep reminding the man that other women exist. Why do that? As far as he is concerned, you are number one. You’re with him on the date, not anyone else. And you gotta keep things that way. Be selfish as hell. Strike Demetria’s name from your mouth. I know that’s your girl and all, but I doubt that she’s talking about you when she’s with any of her men.”
“You are so right. Thank you, Mike. You always make so much sense.”
“Anytime, love. Let me know how things go.”
I hang up and turn on the warm water so I can splash my face. I pat it dry and I stare at myself in the mirror and think, “I am number one. I am number one.”
—29—
SEAPHES
While Veron is in the bathroom, Demetria sends me a text: “Call me.”
“Can’t,” I text back.
“”
I ignore Demetria’s last text and turn off my phone.
Veron comes back to our table at the same time as the waiter, who brings plates loaded with shrimp and lobster sauce for Veron and stir-fried eggplant for me.
“Bon appétit,” I tell her, and she offers me a sincere smile that manages to make my food taste even more scrumptious.
“Seaphes, I’m sorry about that moment of craziness. I want you to know that I am having a wonderful time. Usually my dates aren’t this enjoyable and classy.”
“Are you still dating?”
She starts to answer but shifts in her seat. “I don’t want to answer that.”
“Okay. No problem.” I shrug.
“I do want to say, however, that I’d rather be with you than anyone else.”
“That’s good to know, baby,” I reach out toward her. She grabs my hand, and we hold each other’s fingers while we attempt to eat. The more we talk, the more I feel she is the one I should be with. There are some things that weird me out, but I feel like the real her is old faithful. The only problem with that is she has to watch it—she can’t take a man’s mess over and over again, fuss at him but still take him back. I bet men have taken advantage of that.
“You’re too good to me,” I gently tell her, my voice sincere.
“Oh, you’re just saying that. But thanks,” she pipes up, blushing like a teenager.
“I mean it. You have no idea how much. I am so happy you agreed to go out with me. You are so important to me.”
Her eyes quickly, sweetly brim up with tears, and when one small drop slides down the curve of her cheek, I gently dab it with my thumb. She looks embarrassed.
“To me,” I tell her, “you’re most beautiful when you show me your true self. Now, tell me. What more can I do to make you happy?”
“Make love to me tonight.”
The evening goes on, and we keep talking.
“You ever live with someone?” she asks me.
“Not in the real sense of the word. But I know how it feels to be with someone so much that we’re almost living together. She sees my undershirts with the ripped holes under the armpits. I can either throw out all my torn-up T-shirts or see if she can deal with my faults.”
“Is a ripped shirt a fault?”
“Is a toothpaste-stained bathroom counter a fault?” I say in a teasing voice.
She nods. “I get you. Well, in the beginning we’re showing the side of us that will garner the most approval. We want to show our best self. It’s scary to unveil those layers…the ugly parts that we try to keep hidden.”
“What are some of your faults?”
She laughs out loud. “You don’t want to know. Just believe that I am human like everyone else. I even have that book that tells me about how to improve on my faults.”
“Why do you feel you need magazines or books to tell you who you are?”
“Because it doesn’t hurt to try something different. Even Demetria tells me…” Her voice trails off.
“Why did you stop talking?” I say, concerned. “Why are you so afraid to even speak her name?”
“I want our date to be about me and you.”
I take a tiny
sip of my zinfandel and try to block Demetria out of my mind. Sure, she’s a sexy-ass woman, but it’s not like I have to have her or the world will come to an end.
The conversation flows easily for the rest of the night, and I’m so glad to get to know more and more about this girl whom I like so much. Our drive back to her place is peaceful and comfortable. Once we enter her apartment, she runs off to her bedroom while I kick off my shoes and pull off my shirt and tie. She comes back wearing a pair of red shorts and a white T-shirt.
I point to her clothes.
“Shoot,” she says, “I want to chill for a minute. I want to just lay my head against your chest while we kiss and hold each other. Is that okay? And if things lead to sex, then we’ll see.”
Frowning, I ask, “You sound unsure of yourself. Did you change your mind?”
We sit hip-to-hip on her couch. She clutches the furry rabbit against her chest and stares into space. “I’m fickle. Can’t you tell?”
“But why? What have I done wrong?”
“Seaphes, the easiest thing to do in the world is have sex with you.”
“But you don’t want to? Do you not trust me?”
“I just…I don’t know yet.”
“Then why are you with me, huh? What are you really trying to say?”
“I just…” But she doesn’t finish the sentence. She clamps her mouth shut and starts rocking back and forth, clutching the bunny rabbit so tight I’m afraid its ears are going to pop off.
“Watch how you’re holding Demetria,” I say, pointing to the rabbit.
“Ha,” she laughs. “Yeah. What an interesting choice of words.”
—30—
DEMETRIA
“Boo, it’s been so long,” I moan as Thaddeus squeezes me tight around my waist. Seeing him and touching him again makes me feel a thousand times better. I adore his caramel-colored skin, wide expressive green eyes, and his salt-and-pepper hair. I also love his big old wallet. The tighter he hugs me, the more I realize his comforting arms are where I really belong, especially when I notice gift-wrapped boxes sitting a few inches from his feet.
“I’ve been missing you, too, Your Highness. Have you been a good girl, or a bad girl?”
“I’ve been a horny girl,” I tell him in a firm voice.
“That’s what I want to hear.”
“Gimme my presents,” I wail, impatiently pushing him off me when his hugs last too long.
“Wait, let me stare at you a moment. You look different.” He rubs his chin and gives me a skeptical look. “New hair color. Nice. And where’d the mole come from?”
“It’s a simple beauty mark that I had someone paint on. I wanted to look more sensual for you. You like it?”
“I do. Mission accomplished.” He rakes his fingers through the long strands of my hair. I love when he fusses over me like I’m important. Thaddeus is the type of man who knows exactly the way I want and need to be treated.
Thad takes me by the hand and leads me to the couch. He sits besides me and hands me the first enormous box, which is wrapped in purple and gold metallic paper and topped with a huge violet ribbon trimmed with light purple.
“Where were you this time? New York?”
“India.”
“India? Why didn’t you tell me instead of acting like it was a big secret? When you called it sounded like you were right next door.”
He ignores my question. “The business is taking off, and I needed my team to accompany me to Jaipur so we could do an emergency meeting with investors. I also took some time to enjoy the city. The lakes and the mountains are pure eye candy.”
“You should have taken me,” I grumble.
“Sweetness, I was over there for two weeks, and I knew you needed to be at your job. Now stop pouting and open up your gifts. If you can’t go to India, I’ll bring India to you.”
“Oh, boo, you’re the best,” I say in a babyish voice. “Me love you so much.”
I open the presents Thaddeus got me. They include two beautiful, colorful brocade dresses obviously worth at least two grand each; several collectible crystal elephants that will look impressive sitting on my mantel; three pairs of multicolored chappals that I can wear in the summer; and a printed textile blanket that bears some of the most vibrant colors I’ve ever laid eyes on.
I hop up on his lap and offer him a big sloppy kiss. He rubs his soft nose against my warm neck, calling me his “precious little baby doll.” I tell him to sit tight, and I go mix him a tall glass of Georgia peach, one of his favorite drinks.
“How have you been holding up since I’ve been gone?” he casually asks after I hand him his drink.
“It’s been boring as hell. I’ve been hanging out with Vee, going to book club meetings. Nothing as exciting as spending time with you.”
“I didn’t mean that. I meant sexually,” he says, looking serious.
“What? Oh, I got a, uh, whatchamacallit…”
“Vibrator?”
“Yeah, silly that.”
He just shakes his head as if he can’t believe I’d resort to getting a vibrator.
“Why you wanna know all that, boo?” I sweetly ask him, motioning at him so he can let me taste his drink. I wrap one arm around his neck, enjoying the recognizable scent of his Burberry cologne.
“I just wanna make sure my baby’s needs are being met.”
“Meaning?” I ask and begin to play with the little hairs of his mustache.
“Some women might not be completely satisfied with a vibrator.”
“Oh, you know I’m not like anyone else. Demetria Elayne Sparks is an originator, not an emulator or a duplicator.”
“You not telling me anything I don’t already know. Hey, you need anything?” he asks me. It’s the question I’ve been dying to hear.
“Ummm, how about two Gs?”
“I’ll deposit the funds this week.”
“Cool, honey bun. How’s your drink? You gulping it down.”
“It tastes good, girl, but why only one glass? Usually you make a gallon.”
“Uh, I’m completely out of vodka.”
He frowns. I start tugging on his earlobe, then stick my tongue gently in the ear, hoping he’ll close his eyes and start moaning. But he pushes me off him.
“You’ve been drinking so much that you’ve run out?” he says, sounding accusing.
“What, Thad? You expect me to drink bottled water every freaking day or something? Nothing wrong with me getting my liquor on.”
“As long as it’s just you who’s drinking the liquor, I’m cool. You know I don’t want anyone else touching my stuff.”
“I know, boo, that’s why I feel guilty.”
I feel his body stiffen. “Guilty?”
I whisper conspiratorially, “I let Veron drink some vodka, too. She was depressed and crying about her boyfriend. It’s a real mess.”
“Who is her boyfriend?” He frowns.
“Uh, she doesn’t mention his name, just some loser she met.”
“Ah ha,” he says, clearing his voice. “Well, I hope everything works out for her. She’s a nice girl.”
“Not nicer than me though, right, honey bun? Please promise you won’t leave me for so long next time, Thad. I can’t take it when you’re gone away for too long.”
“Well, maybe I can get something to keep you company. You want a new puppy?”
“No, that’s okay. I hate how they smell, and I ain’t gonna be cleaning up anyone else’s shit.”
“How about a freshwater aquarium?”
“Dang, Thad, fish smell, too. Anyway, baby, no animal, no man, no best friend could ever be equal to you.”
“That’s not what you’ve told me in the past,” he says darkly. “You told me you could replace me so fast I wouldn’t have time to feel the pain. So what’s happened the past two weeks that you now feel different?”
“I guess it’s the time spent apart. I realize that…” I bite my tongue, careful not to sound too mushy. What am I doing
? I’m sounding too much like Veron. I want him to know I value him, but he can never think I’m totally strung-out over his ass. “Just don’t be gone like you have been.”
“When business opportunities arise I’m obligated to follow them. But I’ll come up with something to keep you entertained.” He thinks for a moment. “How about a webcam so we’re able to see each other?”
“Are you crazy? That’s like high-tech stalking. There are already too many cameras in society as it is.”
He looks hurt. “But I thought you missed me so much.”
“Oh, I do, I do, honey bun, but no need to spend beaucoup money for equipment I’d probably never use.”
“I can afford it.”
That’s cute, I think. But outwardly I just smile sweetly at my baby and think about how fortunate I am to have this man. Shoot, I can even picture a wedding in the distant future…
Naw, hold up. Why am I getting carried away? How in the hell can I be married to a man who travels two weeks out the month? I got needs. And as much as I love the clothes, jewelry, and cash Thad gives me, none of that stuff can eat me when I get hot.
“Mmmm, honey bun,” I say. Jumping off his lap, I peel off my latex shirt, jogging shorts, and undergarments. He responds, rapidly stripping off all his clothes, layering the floor with his business shirt, slacks, and jacket. I drop down on my knees and crawl to my bedroom. “Let’s do it on the bed for once,” I whisper.
“Huh,” he says falling against me and gently kissing my ass and hips. I begin to gyrate, enjoying the feel of his lips.
“Thad, flow with me,” I gasp. I stop moving and reach back to spread my vagina apart. He pushes his erect penis deep inside of me. I gasp again and let him stroke me hard, making me dizzy with passion.
“You miss this big dick?”
“Always, baby. Oooh, no one does me like you.” My hips keep pumping, but his stop.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What? It’s just an expression. Stick it back in,” I command, wiggling my ass.
“No.”
No? Thad never says no to me. I drop to the floor and lie down sideways, totally pissed off. His timing couldn’t be worse. My vagina is throbbing so violently I’m surprised he can’t hear it clapping.