I looked up just in time to see Daniel’s tall figure stride into the room and up to the podium. His steely blue eyes wearing a serious, or maybe it was a stern expression. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have sworn he was in pain, like he had a migraine or something.
“I’m Daniel Simmons, Professor Walker’s teaching assistant. Unfortunately the Professor has been called out of town and I’ll be taking over his classes in the interim.”
There was a slight murmuring from the students which abruptly halted when his steely gaze scanned the room.
“I believe Professor Walker last left off at the beginning of your study of Gothic Art in France.”
This was the same man I’d seen in the hallway the day before last, the same cold eyes and sandy hair. If I wasn’t so intimidated by him, I’d have agreed with my friends and called him attractive. But there was something of the hunter in him, something that made me feel too much like prey to permit such wistful feelings. Especially for someone like me. It was the way he paced back and forth at the front of the room, carefully eyeing the students before him. It was as if he was instinctually picking out the weakest in the herd. Strangely enough, I wasn’t even sure he was aware he was doing it. I wrapped my arms around myself. Just looking at his eyes caused an involuntary shudder to go up and down my spine.
Was I one of the girls who swooned at his looks, or was I one of the overwhelming minority that thought he was kind of creepy? I think I was somewhere in between. I don’t think I’d classify him as creepy so much as insanely intense. Maybe intense and full of some measure of repressed aggression. As I watched him begin to pace the front of the room again I wondered what he was really like if you got to know him. When I found my thoughts wondering what the possibilities of such and encounter might be, I shook my head, mentally scolding myself for my foolishness. Shaking it off, I went back to my note taking, deciding it was probably best to try to just look at the slides, my notebook and the pen in my hand for the rest of class.
As his lecture wore on, he’d periodically pause, taking a deep breath then exhaling. Don’t ask me why, but I thought it looked like he was concentrating very hard on something, something other than Gothic architecture in France.
About thirty minutes later, I looked down at my empty page and realized that I had yet to take a single note besides write the date and subject of the lecture at the top of the page. That was also when it dawned on me that I had yet to be called on.
Would he call on me?
I experienced a moment of terror and suddenly snapped back to reality only to hear “So, can anyone tell me why gothic is called the verticalism of the interior space?”
All eyes nervously flashed up to Daniel. No one was used to being called on in class, I alone held that honor. Glancing around the hall, I could see the frightened herd in their eyes.
Daniel slowly scanned the room, searching for a victim. Midway through his scan, his eyes suddenly fixed on mine. Instantly, I was back in the hallway. His glare lingered on me only moments but long enough that others noticed. Then without warning he continued his sweep of the room only to say “You there, with the red sweater. Can you answer the question?” his eyes feverishly locked on a petite blonde in the second to last row.
There was a collective intake of breath as we all prayed she did. Meekly she croaked out the correct answer and we exhaled. Sensing no blood in the water, he moved on, continuing his lecture as if nothing had happened.
Two or three other students were put on the spot before the end of class, but thankfully I was not included in this group. Then before I realized it the lecture ended and we began to gather up our books.
“Boy, that was intense,” Tabitha mumbled.
I was glad I wasn’t the only one who thought so. I picked up my bag and as I started towards the stairs, I stole a glance over my shoulder down to the podium below. Several female students were crowded around Daniel, waiting their turn to ask questions. Daniel, with a look of annoyed disinterest, was answering the questions of the enamored girls with thinly veiled impatience. He was attractive – they were attractive – yet he seemed wholly uninterested in them. In that moment of my stolen glance over my shoulder, I found myself wondering what he would find attractive in a woman that he obviously didn’t find among the women at NPU.
As if sensing how my eyes had sought him out, he looked up and our eyes met. For a moment there he appeared as if he was going to be sick, but quickly recovered himself a split second later. It happened so fast, I’m not even sure his bevy of admirers had even noticed. Still looking into my eyes, he answered another girls’ question. When she touched his arm, he looked down at her hand in disgust, revulsion really. Maybe he was gay.
His stare on me broken, I quickly looked away and escaped up the stairs.
“Did Daniel just check you out?” Tabitha asked with an incredulous tone as she followed me up the stairs. I didn’t turn to see her face, but could imagine how it must have contorted at the ridiculousness of such a question.
“I seriously doubt it,” I replied with a heavy dose of sarcasm in my voice. I think she must have thought she’d hurt my feelings and quickly started to back-pedal.
“Not that he shouldn’t, you know. You’re a very pretty girl, beautiful really. I’d kill for your hair and you have such a fair complexion.” She would have gone on if I hadn’t cut her off.
“Thanks,” I said as we made our way up the stairs getting lost in the sea of exiting students. “But don’t worry about it. I only meant that I ran into him the other day and got the distinct impression he didn’t really like me very much.”
The understatement of the century – I’d gotten the impression he’d have rather seen me dead than staring back into those deep blue eyes. As evil an expression as I remembered, I did remember they were a deep sky blue. They’d sat under a furrowed brow that created a delicate arch above his eye, taut as it was with that sinister expression.
As we reached the top of the stairs, I stole a last look over my shoulder just in time to see him turn to leave. I was probably just being paranoid, but I could have sworn he’d been looking at me as I turned. I really had to get a grip. I mean, who was I anyway? I just wasn’t that important to matter to someone like him. Seriously, why would he care?
I kept telling myself this all morning and eventually it started to sink in. It was easy enough to convince myself of my insignificance in his world. Why should he be any different than every other guy I’d ever met? And let’s be honest, I’d never actually even met Daniel.
As was my normal routine at the end of day, I went back to my room and relaxed for a while as I skimmed through my notes from that day’s classes. As I did, I made a mental list of what needed to be done after dinner to prep for tomorrow. Two chapters to review for Psych, make sure I had enough clean laundry for the weekend, make a shopping list for a trip into town.
When it was about time for dinner, I pulled on my jacket and headed cross campus towards the dining hall. The sun had just dipped below the horizon causing the sky to fill with hues of pinks, oranges and purples that cast a golden glow on everything. A pair of mocking birds were happily singing together in a tree as I passed, and from across the quad I could hear the laughter of a group of students. It seemed the perfect ending to a most imperfect day.
As I drifted through the cafeteria line, I picked up some inoffensive looking chicken and a salad for dinner. As soon as I paid, I looked up to see Ryan waving enthusiastically from our usual corner of the dining hall. Relieved for some reason, I smiled and strode towards him with my tray. When I got to the table, he stood and gestured to the seat across from him, but I elected to sit beside him so I could look out into the room. Funny how most people never seem to catch on to that quirk of mine. He looked pleased that I had chosen my seat, and as I sat down I hoped I wasn’t giving him an impression that carried more weight that it should.
He smiled and asked how my day had been. I answered fine and purposefully omitted m
y mornings imagined encounter with Daniel. Hard as I tried, I still couldn’t get his eyes out of my head. I smiled back and tried to keep up pleasant conversation the way normal people seemed to do. I half listened as he told me about trying out for the soccer team and how he was hopeful he’d make the team this year. I patted his arm and assured him that I was sure he would, then quickly removed my hand. Sitting up straight, he smiled back at me, seemingly grateful for my confidence.
Ryan was a nice guy and very good looking, but I just didn’t feel any spark with him. It wasn’t exactly a brotherly feeling I got either, but just like an old comfortable friend who just happens to be sort of hot.
Seriously, what is wrong with me!
Luckily I didn’t have time to dwell on my inadequacies long as Mike and Tabitha arrived to join us. Over the course of the meal, we started to pin down our exact plans for the next day’s hike. Meet at seven in the parking lot then drive up to the preserve together. I was happier than I’d been all day at the prospect of getting away from campus for a few hours. I had a feeling the change of scenery would help shake loose the bluer than blue eyes I kept seeing in my sleep.
“Isn’t that Darcy’s gay boyfriend over there?” Ryan said with a nod of his head towards the far corner of the room. “I swear he’s been watching us for a few minutes now.”
The three of us turned in unison to see Daniel sitting alone at a table about half way across the room. He was taking a sip from a mug as he read some papers on the table. If he’d been watching us, you couldn’t tell now.
“Humph. I don’t remember ever seeing him in here before,” Mike commented a little territorially.
“Be nice,” Tabitha said. “He’s probably lonely. Professor Walker is out of town for a while.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” I asked.
Tabitha turned back to me, a sympathetic look in her pretty blue eyes.
“Oh, didn’t I mention that? Daniel and the Professor both live in that big house up on the mountain that we were talking about before. I’m not sure how they’re related, but he came to NPU with the Professor from his last job.” Tabitha paused and took a bite of her dinner. “I kinda feel bad for him. He doesn’t seem to have any friends besides the Professor.”
“Whatever,” Ryan muttered before changing the subject.
When we turned the conversation back to our hike, they continued to tell me all about the animals we’d see and the waterfalls. It was nothing they hadn’t already told me before, but they were too excited to remember.
My appetite gone and my food half eaten, I went to push my tray to the side, but Ryan picked it up for me. As he did, our hands met for a moment, causing me to unwillingly blush and look away. That’s when Daniel caught my eye. He was indeed staring at our table, at me specifically. He instantly turned away and took a bite of something off his tray and then a drink from his mug. Even though he was looking down at his food, I could see the angry expression he wore.
I’d never actually met him. There was just no way I could have done something to warrant his behavior towards me. Part of me wanted to talk to Tabitha, to see if she knew of some possible explanation that so far had eluded me, but the larger part of me told me not to say a word. I was just being paranoid. He must be like this to other people, not just me. I shouldn’t take it so personally. He was probably just some weirdo nut job. But still, I didn’t like it.
I knew what I should do, what Tabitha would probably have told me anyway. I should confront him if I felt this way. Problem was, I was afraid he’d laugh in my face if I did.
I wonder what his laugh sounds like.
Shaking my head, I pulled my eyes away from him.
Snap out of it, Donnelly!
We were getting up to leave now and as I pulled my chair back, I stole a glance in Daniel’s direction from beneath my hair. He wasn’t watching me, but something was definitely troubling him. Yes, I wanted to confront those haunting eyes, I knew this was probably the most logical course of action. But irrational as I knew it to be, I was scared of what his reaction would be if I did. If Daniel was anything, he was intimidating.
My alarm went off at 6 a.m. WAY too early, but it was inevitable that I’d need to hit the snooze alarm several times before being coherent enough to actually swing my legs out of bed by 6:15.
I put some music on in an attempt to wake myself up. Luckily Darcy wasn’t home for me to wake up this early. She’d spent yet another night hunkered down with her fellow pledges in some undisclosed location. In my still half asleep state, I managed to get dressed and snack on a few granola bars along with some orange juice before packing up my backpack and putting on my new hiking boots. I’d worn them around a few times this week to break them in, but was afraid it was a case of too little, too late. Unfortunately I had a feeling I’d probably have a few blisters by days end. Oh, well, I sighed. Not much I could do about it now. Making sure I had my cushiest pair of socks on, I headed out the door.
The plan was to meet in the Pond Road parking lot and ride up to the trail head in Ryan’s Jeep. When I found I was the first to arrive, I decided to save my energy for the trail and took a seat on the curb. Still a little hungry, I pulled out another granola bar and munched as I watched some squirrels scampering about under a car. Then for some reason they scurried off to run up a nearby tree.
Strange, I wonder what scared them.
It was quiet, too quiet. There were no chirping birds, no sound of students in the distance, no cars or music to break the stillness that hung in the air. I was finding early Saturday morning can be an eerily quiet time on a college campus.
Closing my eyes, I put my arms behind me and leaned back. Perfectly content, I soaked up the vitamin D as I let the early morning sun shine on my face. It was true I wasn’t a morning person, but I could appreciate the tranquility of this time of day and took in a deep breath, inhaling the sweet smell of the newly cut grass.
With my eyes closed, I heard the sound of distant laughter, softly at first and then growing louder. After a moment I began to recognize the individual voices.
“Yeah, she’s here already,” Mike said. “Now we just need Ben.”
As we stood around Ryan’s Jeep, I was the first to see Ben’s tall figure striding across the parking lot. He was wearing that boyish smile of his that always made me feel the faintest of blushes. A breeze blew and swept a lock of hair onto his face. Then reaching into his pocket, he deftly pulled out a pair of sunglasses and slid them on while gently brushing his hair back into place. I wished he wouldn’t cover his eyes. Other than his broad shoulders; they were my favorite feature of his. Truth be told he had a nice tush too, not that I’d ever admit to having checked it out … once … or twice. I smiled to myself and blushed as I looked away.
Where did those squirrels go?
“Come on, what we waiting for!” Ben said as he slapped Ryan on the back. “It’s time to hit the trail.”
Ryan sputtered in surprise. He hadn’t seen Ben’s approach.
“All right, everybody in!” Ryan said with a smile as he opened up the front passenger door and looked at me expectantly.
“Hey, Ryan. Mind if Tab sits up front?” Mike asked. “You know how she gets car sick if she sits in back.”
“Sure,” he replied, trying not to sound to dejected. “My lady,” he said to Tabitha as he gallantly took her hand to help her into the front seat.
He really was a nice guy. Maybe if I was struck my lighting on our hike today, there’d be enough of a meaningful spark between us to start something. Somehow it seemed doubtful.
Mike ran around to the other side of the Jeep and got in the back seat while Ben opened the back door and gestured for me to climb in first. Eager to be on our way, I reached up and took hold of the side of the door and started to climb up, but my foot slipped out from under me. As I started to come crashing down, I felt Ben’s strong hands grab me around the waist.
“Hey, watch it,” he whispered in my ear. “We
haven’t even left the parking lot yet.”
Thankfully the others were laughing about something and hadn’t seen my klutziness. When I turned around, he smiled.
“Thanks,” I said quietly as I smiled back.
“Guess I’d better keep an eye on you today,” he muttered in his soft musical voice. I blushed yet again, but he didn’t see my scarlet cheeks as I quickly climbed in and took my seat.
This would be the longest consecutive amount of time I’d ever spent with Ben. He usually hung out with us for an hour or so, but always moved on to join another group of friends after that. It was a trend I’d observed, but I don’t think anyone else either noticed or thought anything of. I wasn’t sure it was indicative of anything myself, except that I tended to have an overactive imagination – or maybe it was too much curiosity.
We made it up the mountain and to the trailhead in a little over twenty minutes. Speeding along, Ryan said speed limits didn’t mean much early on Saturday mornings as all the New Paltz cops were at the doughnut shop swapping stories about what trouble the ‘college kids’ had gotten mixed up in on Friday night. Having overheard a few stories from some of Darcy’s other friends; I didn’t doubt they had a lot to talk about over their bear claws and coffee.
We parked in a little turn out that contained space for a handful of cars and an entry sign for the preserve noting a few posted rules. Far away from the bustle of campus and town, it was peaceful here. As we climbed out of the Jeep, I looked up at the clear blue sky. Fall was definitely in the air. It felt like change. Maybe that’s why Fall had always been my favorite season. Lord knew I desired change in my life.
Eager to be on our way, Ryan slammed his door shut startling me.
“You awake yet?” Ben asked as he looked down at me with a smile.
“Getting there.” I murmured back through a yawn.
Gees, did I just blush again?
We started down the trail single file, laughing and talking as we walked along. Everyone was in a good mood, I think glad to be away from campus and in the company of friends on such a fine morning. On the drive up the switch backing road the boys had selected a spot for our picnic at the base of one of the larger waterfalls. From what they’d said, I gathered it would take us about three or four hours to get there. It was more on the way back really, but was the most scenic and convenient place along the trail to enjoy our lunch break. Personally, I thought it was a little early in the morning to be talking about lunch already, but the boys always seemed to have food on their minds. Funny, I’d always heard it was sex.
The Purity of Blood: Volume I Page 5