by Carrie Mac
“I don’t need anyone to take care of me.” He wrestled free of her grip. She caught a glimpse of him when he was six and had fallen off his bike when the three of them were on the way to the corner store for ice cream. He’d run to Phee, crying. She’d sat on the grass with him in her lap. He’d flung his arms around her neck and bawled while Nadia knocked on the door of the nearest house to ask for a bandage. He was still that little boy to her, so all this seemed impossible. Unreal.
“Phoenix!” Marlin yelled from where he held the door open, the sunlight slicing in, reminding them all of the world outside. “We have to go now!”
“This isn’t the end, Neko.” Phee grabbed Neko again, and this time when he tried to break away, she hugged him again and held on for dear life, just as he had when he was six. “It’s the beginning of an enormous adventure. You’ve always been up for adventure. I know you can do this.”
“I don’t know if I can,” he said as Marlin physically hauled him out the door. “But I’ll give it a shot. Take care of Nadia, okay?”
“I will.”
“Tell Gryph that I’m sorry!”
And then he was gone.
Phee followed the boys outside. Marlin and Neko were already halfway down the block, heading north at a dead run. Tariq and Huy were waiting for her on the sidewalk.
“Come on,” Huy called.
Phee jogged over to join them, and then the three of them hurried back to the train platform, all of them keeping an eye out for Crimcor.
HOME
Phoenix’s entire family went to Chrysalis to pick up Gryphon on the day he was due to come home. They got there early and were ushered in through the back, because the front courtyard was already abuzz with media and Gryph’s fans. Phee was a little surprised about the fans; Gryph could never officially compete again. His career was over. The best he could ever do now was compete with the Recon Athletic Association, which he’d always said was no better than being in the Special Olympics. That’s what the old Gryph said anyway. Phee wondered what he’d think about it now that he was reconned himself.
She held Fawn’s hand as they waited in the same little room where they’d received so much bad news. Fawn clutched Bunny to her and leaned against Phee’s leg, excited but wary.
“You think he’ll remember me?” she asked with wide eyes, pressing Bunny’s paw to her cheek the way she always did when she was anxious.
“Of course.” Phee kissed Fawn’s forehead and drew her onto her lap. “He’s got all his memory. He’s as good as new.”
When Phee found out that Gryph had come out of the recon with his memory intact, she was surprised at her initial reaction. She was disappointed. It was only a fleeting regret, but it lasted long enough for her to feel a chill of guilt. She was happy for him, of course. Of course she was! She didn’t even want to think about what it would’ve been like if he’d lost it all. But still, a small part of her wished he could truly understand what it was like. What he’d done to her so many years ago.
“Phoenix?” Her father stood over her, the others gathered at the door behind him. “It’s time.”
Phee trailed behind the others. Oscar and Eva walked at the front, Fawn between them. Then her grandma, holding her granddad’s hand. Then her auntie and uncle, each with a twin by the hand. And then Phee. To think that her family, in various formations, had done this walk twice already, for her.
They were led into a room of windows, the sunlight streaming in from all sides. It felt hallowed, and therefore gimmicky in Phee’s mind. As if Chrysalis was trying to evoke something biblical. Behold the resurrection, or some such drivel.
There was a white leather couch along one wall, but only Phee’s granddad sat. The twins slid under it, playing hide-and-seek. The others just stood, nervously waiting. Silky drapes slid open on the opposite wall, revealing a polished silver door. It opened too, and there was Gryph, dressed in the slacks and button-down shirt Eva had brought down for him the day before.
He grinned at them all, then plucked at the tailored shirt. “Who picked this ugly thing?”
“I did.” Eva, shaking with silent tears, rushed to him and covered his cheek in kisses. She hugged him and petted his hair and finally rested her hands on his broad shoulders. “You look handsome.”
“I look like I just stepped out of a catalogue for a prep school.”
“Gryphon”—Oscar opened his arms—“thank God you’ve come back to us.” Father and son hugged. Oscar wiped away tears when he finally let Gryph go. “Thank God.”
For some reason, Gryph was avoiding Phee. And she him. She hung back, letting him greet everyone else. When he was done, Fawn happily situated on his back, her arms around his neck, Bunny mashed between them, Phee caught his eye.
“Hey.”
“Hey, yourself.” He gripped Fawn with one arm and embraced Phee in an awkward hug with the other. More like what she was used to from Uncle Liam. Not her brother.
And as if they’d agreed on it beforehand, the two of them left it at that. The rest could wait. Her questions, Gryph’s questions. Neko. Marlin. All of it would wait.
THE STUFFED ANIMALS that Fawn had set out to welcome Gryph home weeks ago were still in their places on the front steps, though a little more sun bleached and dirty. Fawn, who would not let go of Gryph and was now gripping his hand as they walked home from the station, pointed them out when they turned the last corner.
“They’re for you,” Fawn said. “We’re having a party!”
“Thanks, Fawn.” He bent to hug her and let her climb onto his shoulders while he was crouched. “Where’s the cake?”
“Not out here, silly. Inside!” Fawn laughed. “I helped make it and I decorated it all by myself. It’s chocolate with the gooey stuff inside.”
“My favourite!”
Riley heard the family coming up the walk and managed to arrange himself on all stiff fours and make his way to the door to greet them. He was so excited to see Gryph that he jumped up, putting his front paws on Gryph’s chest.
“You’ve been reconned too, buddy?” Gryph scratched Riley’s ears before the dog’s burst of energy was spent and he started to sag. Gryph helped him down, and then set Fawn back on her feet too.
“Gryph!” Clea emerged from the kitchen where she was waiting with Tariq and Huy to surprise him.
“Clea.” Gryph pulled her into his arms and gave her a long, serious kiss.
“Gross!” Fawn made a face and covered her eyes.
“The guys are in the kitchen.” Clea took his hand. “They’re dying to see you.” She slapped her forehead. “Oh God, that was the wrong thing to say.”
“Clea”—Gryph kissed her again—“don’t worry about it.”
“I’m just so glad you’re here.” Clea took his face in her hands. “I thought you were gone.”
“I’m here.” Gryph pulled away. “But I need a few minutes with the guys. Alone. Okay?”
“Yeah,” Clea said, clearly wounded. “Yeah. Of course.”
No one had explained to Gryph what had happened to Saul and Neko, so the family gave the boys some space to tell Gryph. Of course, Oscar and Eva had no idea what had really happened to Saul and Neko, so they had no idea what Tariq and Huy were telling Gryph.
Everyone waited in the living room, and when nearly an hour had gone by, Fawn couldn’t contain herself any longer. She was done playing with the twins and wanted to get on with the party.
“What about the cake?” she pestered Eva. “We have to have cake.”
“Give them a little more time, honey.”
“They’ve had enough time!” Fawn dashed out of the room and banged on the closed kitchen door. “Open up, it’s Fawn.”
With a pleading glance from her mother, Phee went after Fawn. The kitchen door opened, and Huy let Fawn in with a dramatic sweep of his arm. “Miss Fawn, you may enter.”
Phee followed her little sister into the kitchen. Tariq and Gryph leaned against the counter in the very same pose, arms cros
sed, eyes not giving away the truths that had recently flown about the room. Huy stood in the middle of the room, a fake smile plastered on his face.
“Time for cake?”
“Cake! Cake!” Fawn ran to the fridge and lifted it out, struggling to hold it steady.
“Guys?” Phee took the cake from her as it angled dangerously toward the floor. “Everything okay?”
“Fine,” Gryph snapped.
Tariq nodded.
“We’re good for now,” Huy added. Whatever that meant.
CLEA AND THE REST of the family trailed into the kitchen, cake was served, and for all appearances it looked like a great party. But Phee knew better. Gryph’s smile was forced, and she could tell by the distant look in his eyes that he was upset about Neko and Saul.
Finally, her aunt and uncle took the twins home, and Eva walked her parents across the green to their house. The boys left, with Clea, who did not want to leave and had, in fact, cried until Gryph promised to see her the very next day. Everyone gone, Oscar ushered a reluctant Fawn upstairs for her bath.
“But I don’t want to!” she screamed. “I want to stay up with Gryphon!”
“He’ll be here in the morning,” Oscar said. Then he turned to Gryph. “You will, right, kiddo?”
“I’m not going anywhere, Dad.”
“Good to hear.” Oscar picked up a thrashing Fawn and made his way up the stairs.
Gryph and Phee sat at the kitchen table amid the detritus of the party and stared at each other for what seemed like a year. Finally, Gryph broke the silence.
“Where’s Nadia?”
“I don’t know.” The words caught in Phoenix’s throat. “She won’t talk to me.”
Gryph hardened his expression. “Do you blame her?”
“Do you blame us? For doing what we did?”
“No,” he replied. “I’d be lying if I said I did. I just …” He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “I just wish there was a better way. I just wish that I could go back and do it differently.”
“You’re alive. Neko’s alive. Saul is safe.”
“But that’s not good enough. Neko’s gone. Forever.”
“Maybe not.” Phee shrugged. And then she grinned. “Maybe he’ll show up someday and surprise us all. Maybe he’ll be short and fat and freckly.”
Gryph laughed. “I doubt it.” Another long moment of silence. Again, Gryph was the one to break it. “You want me to talk to Nadia?”
“No,” Phee said.
Silence fell over them again. The clock above the doorway ticked away the seconds. This time it was Phoenix who spoke first.
“I’m glad you’re home, Gryphon. I missed you.”
Gryph nodded. “I’m glad I’m home too.”
The back door opened with its customary creak and Eva swept in, still riding on the joy that had fuelled her since finding out that Gryph would be reconned. She spotted the two of them sitting at the table and laughed.
“Hang on.” She backed outside and pulled the door shut. A few seconds passed and the door swung open again. “I will never get tired of that, seeing you where you belong, Gryph. At home. With us. Safe and sound.”
WITH FAWN FINALLY ASLEEP, Oscar joined them all downstairs in the living room, where the four of them sat around, not sure what to do with themselves.
“We played Snakes and Ladders when I came home,” Phee said. “Remember?”
“I hate Snakes and Ladders,” Gryph said.
“At least you remember the rules.”
“How about a game of chess, Phee?” Gryph pulled out the board and set it up. Eva and Oscar watched them for a while, then excused themselves and went off to bed.
Gryph was going to win, as usual.
“You haven’t lost that skill,” Phee said as he collected her queen, placing her alongside a legion of her pieces that he’d already captured.
“I’m sorry, Phoenix,” Gryph said out of nowhere.
“About what?”
“About everything.” He silently knocked over her king, ending the game. “I’m sorry that I pushed you in the river. I’m sorry that I’ve been such an asshole. I’m sorry for how awful the last few weeks must’ve been for you.”
“It’s okay, Gryph. Really.”
“But most of all, I’m sorry about what happened with Neko. And that I cost you your best friend.”
Phee felt her throat swelling, and she knew she was going to cry. She didn’t want to. She’d cried so much over Nadia that she genuinely thought she didn’t have a tear left.
EPILOGUE
Life eventually settled into what would have to suffice for the new normal, what with Saul and Neko gone.
And Nadia.
She had as good as vanished from Phee’s life too. She felt adrift without Nadia.
She dreaded the first day of school so intensely that she threw up twice before she even got out the door. She couldn’t understand how Gryph could be so calm about it. The whole school would rehash what had happened to him until they were tired of it, which would take who knew how long.
“It’ll be okay,” Gryph said as they got on the train. Sure enough, within seconds he was swept into a crowd of schoolmates full of questions. He wrestled his way out to check on Phee as the train pulled into the school. “Want me to walk you in?”
“No thanks,” she said. “Tariq is meeting me.”
“Ah, boyfriend trumps brother.”
“In this case, yes.” Phee offered him what she hoped was a smile. “I can do without the fanfare you attract.”
Clea, his biggest fan, was waiting with Huy on the front steps. After a quick hello, Phee excused herself and went around back, where Tariq was going to meet her.
“Hey.” He greeted her with a kiss. “I’m surprised you came.”
“My parents forced me to. Get back on the horse, it’ll blow over, blah, blah, blah.”
“It will.” Tariq took her hand and steered her to a bench, where they sat for a while, watching kids stream into the building with their new clothes and bulging backpacks. They’d probably all had very ordinary summers. How gladly Phee would have traded with any one of them.
“I used to love the first day of school,” she said. “Nadia and I always took the same train. The eight-ten. After we’d spent most of the night before texting each other about what to wear. Or not wear.”
“Speak of the devil,” Tariq said, pointing. “Look.”
Nadia was walking across the field, heading straight for her.
Phee turned to Tariq. “Did you talk to her?”
“Nope.”
“Gryph or Huy?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Not Clea?”
“I doubt it.”
“No one put her up to this? Promise?”
“Promise.” He stood, bending to kiss her lightly on the lips. “I’ll let you girls work it out.”
Phee felt a smile stretch across her face, even though she doubted Nadia was coming over to be pleasant. She was probably going to lay down the law and tell her not to talk to her, not to eat lunch near her, not to come up to her in the hallway. No matter, though, Phee couldn’t get rid of her grin.
“Nadia!” Phee leaped up.
Nadia hesitated, then sloughed off her backpack and gave Phee the fiercest hug ever.
“I can’t do it anymore.” Nadia cried on her shoulder. “I can’t lose you too.”
“Me either.”
“For now, though”—she pulled away and gave Phee a serious look—“I don’t want to talk about it. I mean it. Okay?”
“Whatever you say.”
“But I will tell you something.” Nadia cupped a hand to Phee’s ear. “I heard from Neko and Saul … Marlin, whoever,” she whispered.
“You did?” Phee glanced around to make sure no one was near.
“They’re okay.” Nadia grinned. “They’re on the East Coast with his parents. I don’t know where exactly, but they’re okay. Neko’s even in school.”
“Come on.” Nadia grabbed her hand and pulled her up. “Let’s go. We’re going to be late. And you have to tell me what’s going on between you and Tariq.”
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thanks be to the sharp and critical minds of Jake Powrie, Morgan Roff, Eleanor Roberts, Emily Harris, Geneva Haughton, Emanuelle Lyons, and especially Christianne Hayward, who brings together all the adolescent brilliance on a regular basis. It is always a pleasure and an honour to stand in front of such a talented young firing squad.
Table of Contents
Cover
About the Author
Also by Carrie Mac
The Gryphon Project
Copyright Page
Dedication
The Old Gryph
Deathday
The Race
Picnic
Charity
System Failure
Disclosure
Family Meeting
Rave
Disclosure
The News
Accident, Maybe
Investigation
What Willis Knows
Stranger
Ruling
Marlin
Reveal
Later
Consequence
Cause and Effect
Ruling
Confession
Home
Epilogue
Acknowledgement