by Marcia DM
“Is that all? I was hoping you’d pull a full wig and heels from that pocket!” I say with a notably vexed tone. How come he doesn’t have to look like me? Although I gotta say, those aviator sunglasses look incredible on him.
“Yep, that’s it. Ready?”
“Yes.” Pfff, no I’m not. But we get on the car anyway.
And so it begins.
I’m nervous. My head is full of worries; I just want to go, to be there for my mother. I know she’s watching from wherever she is, and I want her to understand that this isn’t over yet. I want her to know the reason I’m going to take my revenge, for her, for dad and for me. We all deserve this.
On the other hand, I fear that the funeral might turn out to be a massacre. Bruno warned me about a possible ambush, and I can’t shake that feeling.
After watching the same freeway, advertising signs and trees for a while, now I feel relaxed enough to sleep for a bit. I push a button on the dashboard and the seat reclines a bit. The last thing I see before I close my eyes is Bruno, smiling at me like approving my nap.
Leon is here! The son of a bitch shows up, he’s about to touch my mother’s casket. I break character and run to avoid that. Bruno grabs my arm and doesn’t let go. I can’t defend myself, I fight Bruno but can’t win, he’s not letting me go.
“Sarah, wake up! Sarah!” I wake up, my body’s all sweaty, and I’m struggling to breathe calmly. I look around trying to make sense of it all. I’m still on the car, we’re still traveling. It was a dream, or should I say… nightmare.
“I just had a bad dream, that’s all.” I sit up and push another button on the dashboard. This one brings the seat to its original position. I pull the sun visor down and look at my reflection on the little mirror. My wig is still in place. He throws a worried look at me.
Fifteen minutes later, Bruno stops at a Starbucks.
“Come on, you need to clear your head and I need to stretch my legs.”
I step out of the car and he shows up next to me in a flash, takes my hand and helps me stand. I feel the warm touch of his skin right away, which spreads throughout my body. I look at him with curious eyes, trying to understand what is happening, but he just smiles back.
“I think it’s better if we pretend we’re together today. We don’t want to attract any unwanted attention.”
“I’d say he’s a slick motherfucker, but considering he was well on third base, I’m going to call him an idiot.” Life adds more nonsense to my mind, but she has a point.
“Got it.” I reply obediently after ignoring the rest of Life’s jabbering. His hand goes from warm to hot, making mine sweat a bit.
We enter the coffee shop. As usual, the vibe in here is welcoming— chill music at the exact volume, laughs, smiles and the appealing smell of coffee blends. Bruno and I get in line to order something and he asks me what I want. We are next in line and the cashier can’t stop staring at him. She even starts to touch a lock of her natural blonde hair again and again. I know that gesture and what it means. I can only look at her and feel sorry. I used to be ‘that’ person.
“Honey, snap out of it,” he says. He asks me what I want for the third time now.
“A coffee black and a bagel,” I reply.
“What the lady said, and I’ll take a hot chocolate with a chocolate chip muffin, please,” he said to the cashier, who after hearing him call me ‘honey’ is looking at me with hatred.
One of my favorite songs before captivity sounds through the shop— “Don’t Know Why,” by Norah Jones. We sit by the toilets. Not my first choice; obviously, Bruno’s. I saw him scouting the place while we were in line. He shifts the chair a bit to the side and gets closer to me. He really is into this ‘we’re together’ thing.
“What happened back there?” He asks.
“Where?”
“Back there.” He jerks his head. “With the cashier.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know. You threw the cashier this…” He squints his eyes. “…look. It was pretty obvious something was up.” He got me.
“Well… she reminded me of my former self. I felt sorry for her and a little embarrassed as well.” Bruno has an ‘I-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about’ look that’s priceless. “Clearly, she was or is interested in you and did everything she could to get your attention. She was trying hard. That made me flashback. I used to be like that, that’s all… You know, before the… huh…” I don’t say the word. He takes a few seconds before he speaks again.
“So… she’s interested in me…” He says while raising an eyebrow and finishing with a wink. “Maybe I should… huh… ask for her number.” My leg reacts on its own, propelling fast to kick him on the sheen, right where I wanted. Bruno grunts softly and pretends that it hurt him more than it actually does. It doesn’t matter if he’s faking it, I’m sated… for now.
“Ow! So aggressive. Why?” He chuckles.
“You taunted me. That’s what you get,” I say firmly.
“Oh, what’s that? Is it jealousy?”
“Shut up, or I’ll kick higher!”
“Ha-ha. Did I hit a nerve? Don’t worry, I’ll stop… for now.” He sips from his cup.
I’m smiling at him.
Wait a minute. Smiling? My brain caught up just now. This is a good moment, and I need to remind myself where I am and where we’re going.
The smile fades.
“What’s wrong?” he says.
“Do you think Leon will show up?” I barely whisper.
He looks around before answering. “It’s a possibility that I’m not willing to rule out. That’s why I came prepared, don’t you worry about that.” He taps the left side of his ribcage. My guess is that’s where he keeps his gun holstered.
The rest of the breakfast continues without conversation, not because we don’t have anything to talk about, but because we’re hungry.
I finish my stuff and stand up. Bruno grabs my wrist while almost choking with the last piece of his muffin.
“Where are you going?” He says, or tries to, while munching.
“To the toilet. Where else would I go?”
“I’ll tag along.” What?
“Last time I checked, you weren’t allowed in the women’s toilet.”
“This is a Starbucks, there are no gender-specific toilets. Plus, nobody will notice if we sneak in there together.” Fuck, he’s right. He stands up, grabs our empty cups and our used napkins and trashes them in a bin on our way to the toilet.
“Wait here.” He goes in first, makes a few noises and comes back a few seconds later. “Okay, come in.”
“Aren’t you going to wait outside? This toilet is too small for two, and I can’t go if you’re looking at me like that.”
“Uhm… No, not leaving, but I can totally turn around.” He chuckles.
“Fine! But at least open the faucet to mask the sound.”
“Not gonna work, they are motion-activated.”
“Then start waving your hands like a magician until I’m done.” He sighs.
“Make it quick.”
“Rushing me will only delay it more.”
I pull my dress up, pee really quick, wash my hands and we both walk out of the toilet.
We’re holding hands, walking through the hallway that separates the toilet from the tables and the ordering line. Out of the blue, he throws me on a couch to my left, I fall on it, he drops on top of me and starts to kiss me passionately. At first, I want to push him away, but the softness of his lips kind of talk me out of it. His hand reaches my neck and tightens the grip.
Now I’m melting.
His tongue is practically fucking my mouth. I’m gasping for air; I could die right now, and I’d be happy. The kiss is over; he leans back a bit, his eyes meet mine, this is beautiful.
He’s about to say something.
“Do you see a biker about to order something?” He whispers.
What the fuck? All of this to ask about a biker? Fuck m
e!
“Hahaha, you wish. What’s the equivalent for blue balls in women?” Life doesn’t lose a beat to kick me when I’m down.
“Biker… ordering something…” I switch my gaze to the line and I see him. Tall, fully dressed in leather.
“Yeah…”
“See the patch he’s wearing? He’s a member of the ‘Devil’s Head’ gang…” He continues to whisper. “…We need to leave without him noticing us.”
“Okay. How do we do that?”
“Don’t look at him straight and let me know when he’s about to pay for his order.” He reaches for his jacket pocket.
“Got it, he’s up next.” We wait there for two minutes until he finishes up his order.
“Your total is fourteen dollars with sixty cents,” I hear the cashier say. He reaches for his right jean pocket.
“Now,” I say to Bruno. He stands up and lifts me in the same motion. He holds me tight against his body and I slide my arm around his lower back. While we walk past the line, the biker starts to turn around; at the same moment, Bruno grabs my face, squeezes my cheeks and immediately gives me another long kiss, concealing both our faces. Simultaneously, he throws a couple of dimes the other way.
“I love you, dammit!” he says with a smile on his face. I fake a smile back. When the coins hit the ground, the noise makes everyone in the line look in that direction, including the biker. That is perfectly timed and gives us enough time to exit the shop unnoticed.
Even though I know we’re acting as a couple, that statement makes me feel something weird in my stomach. His words came out shooting from his mouth and dug deep in my heart like a thousand needles. They were a lie, but for a minute I wanted them to be true. I wanted my life to be that easy. He smacks my ass hard enough to make it itch. Motherfucker!
“Ow, it hurts.”
“Suck it up. Get in the car and don’t turn around.” As usual, I obey. He looks back to check nobody’s behind us and takes the car out of the parking lot.
Nobody says anything, the roar of the engine and Bruno’s agitated breath are the only thing I can hear. He’s constantly looking through the rearview mirror. That biker was really a problem, otherwise he wouldn’t be like this. He’s gripping the steering wheel hard, so hard that his knuckles are white. That situation agitated him like I’ve never seen him before, and I’m agitated because of what he said back there.
I love you, too, dammit!
CHAPTER 24
BRUNO
That was close. That was fucking close.
I shouldn’t have let her come. I should have said, “No, you can’t come, Sarah.” But no, oh no, Bruno can’t say no to her.
I’m fucking stupid.
I hit the road in full speed. I need to put some distance between us and the biker. I’m checking the mirrors and it doesn’t seem like we’re being tailed. I slow down to avoid attracting any patrolling officers eager to meet their ‘speeding ticket’ quota.
I didn’t know that biker, but I didn’t have to— he was wearing a Devil’s Head patch. A prospect patch to be exact, meaning he’s an errand boy. That’s how everyone starts in the gang. Nobody questions Bad Blood’s orders. Yeah, that’s right, Bad Blood, that’s his street name. Bad Blood’s the leader of the ‘Devil’s Head’ gang.
I’ve been driving around for miles. Nobody seems to be following us. I better correct my course and head for the cemetery.
“Okay, we’re gonna head for the cemetery now.” She doesn’t say anything. She’s looking at me out of the corner of her eye, she looks pissed. I sigh. “Just say it, whatever it is.”
“You didn’t have to spank me.” She crosses her arms under her breasts, making them look bigger than they really are. That makes me lose focus on the road and get an instant boner. There’s something about her being pissed that drives me crazy.
“I did, it was necessary. I did it to protect the mission. Plus, it didn’t mean anything.” I chuckle. Funny thing is, she’s giving me a hard time for spanking her ass and not for saying ‘I love you.’
“Right, ‘the mission.’ Who was that guy back there?” Nothing about my confession yet.
“He’s a prospect, meaning he’s a low-ranked gang member. The same gang that’s helping Leon. They’re everywhere these days.” The expression on her face has a mix of fear, concern and violence. I gently tap her left thigh twice with my right hand, trying to convey some peace of mind.
We share the next ten minutes in complete silence.
“What was your mother like, Bruno?” This is the second personal question she asks— it’s progress, right? Remembering my mother makes me sad as fuck, but she asked and I need to answer.
“Well, she was a stay-at-home mom. She was always cooking something for the three of us, four if you count Carter, who spent more time at my house than his. My dad, Dante, Carter and I were always hungry and we ate like cavemen.” Sarah laughs; that makes me feel good. This is the first time she laughs at something I say. “But when Dante suffered his tragic and gruesome death after he disappeared, she simply lost her glow and began to shut down. She wasn’t talkative or funny anymore. The same thing happened to my father not long after.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” she says sincerely while touching her chest with her right palm.
“Thanks. They stopped living their own lives and started worrying about Dante’s. They insisted on watching a video of him that was being transmitted all around the internet. Watching my brother die on camera was devastating, for all of us. We could almost feel his despair, pain and sorrow. It was too much for them. The day I lost Dante, I also lost my parents. That’s the day I decided to go on my own; Carter then followed me.
“Do you think it was worth it? I mean, to sacrifice your life.” My brain heard that question and answered twice.
Yes.
No.
“Yes,” I say immediately. “Counter-terrorism was something in my to-do list. I really believe we must fight back, protect the colors of this country and by doing that I also protect my family, my home… After a while, everything went blurry. When they approached me with the mission, I was in a very dark place, so coming onboard was really easy for me. I had nothing else to lose, or so I thought. The rest is ancient history and, as every history book tells us, something always goes south, fast. Which made me reconsider a few things.” I look at her, waiting for a sign that tells me that she understands what I’m trying to say. And I see it— she blushes and turns towards the window. I think she does understand.
“Do you ever regret it? Accepting the mission?” She doesn’t turn after asking this one. I’ve been waiting for it. I even rehearsed this moment in my head a thousand times, practiced my answer and everything, and yet it takes me by surprise anyway.
“No.” She turns around in awe. She didn’t see it coming that fast and without hesitation. “To be completely honest, I was about to lean towards quitting more than once, but then I thought about what they would do to you. I couldn’t shake the image of those sickos touching you just like they touched other women, and I… I couldn’t stand it. Leaving you behind was not an option, even when staying meant inflicting pain upon you in the process. I would rather have you hate me for the rest of our lives than turn my back on you.” She’s listening to me carefully, her eyes are full of understanding, empathy and guilt.
Fuck, she really understands.
“I don’t hate you, Bruno…”
Those five words… I never thought I’d hear them from her. I feel a shroud of relief descending upon me, the same feeling you get when your loved ones embrace you. She doesn’t know how much those words mean to me. I let my eyes close for a second and force myself to open them again.
God… I’m going nuts.
“Thanks.” That’s all I can say. My hand meets hers, and both of them float between us. Perhaps she hasn’t noticed yet, but we have come a long way. At first, she wouldn’t have any kind of physical contact with me, and now we’re holding hands in
the car.
We have evolved.
I want to touch her, kiss her… Get my tongue inside of…
...Stop!
“Do you think killing him will help me move on, you know… have some closure?”
“No. It might help in some way. After the mission ended, I understood that moving on, closure, is only possible if you really want it. It’s all in your head, it’s up to you.”
“I understand.” She looks sad now.
I put on some music to lighten up the mood. “Revolver” by The Beatles was my favorite record growing up.
What a shocker, right?
The Beatles are always a good choice, they were back then for me and they are now for us. The best tracks from my favorite band go by and Sarah’s still quiet. I turn to look at her as soon as “Love You” starts to play. The Hindi sounds paired with mysticism always make it the perfect melody. She sits through it calmly. “Here, There and Everywhere” makes her eyes open wide, letting me know she recognizes the song.
It wasn’t a coincidence. Nothing I ever do is a coincidence.
“That’s the song you always sing to me!” I nod, smiling like a complete idiot. “It’s beautiful. Who is it?”
“That’s Paul McCartney signing, the song is called ‘Here, There and Everywhere,’ by The Beatles,” I proudly share with her.
“Oh, you know your music, right?” I chuckle.
“My mother used to listen to them all day long. She used to be quite the hippie. Listening to them takes me back to my childhood.”
“I see. I know the melody, but I don’t know anything about them.” A shocking statement.
“You didn’t listen to them!?” I ask.
“I was into a lot of things back then, but music wasn’t one of them.”
“I find that hard to believe. Music is essential to everybody.”
“I think you wouldn’t have liked Cassandra. She was… plain, dull.” She’s clearly embarrassed, and I can’t stand it when she feels that way.
“Sarah, look at me.” I shake her hand to make her look at me. “If I’m sure about anything, it’s that Cassandra would have stunned me, just like you do. Don’t you forget that.”