by Louise Bay
“Okay, good. Shall we meet for a drink tonight?” I suggested.
“Yeah. That would be great.” Leah sounded shocked, I’d not been out much recently.
The partners filed out of their huddle and a murmur passed across the office. People were exchanging glances. What had happened? My secretary caught my blank expression and whispered for me to check my email.
All the associates were summoned to a firm meeting at 10 a.m. It was official. We were going under.
I tried to concentrate on work but found myself surfing job websites. Was Leah right? Would I find something easily? Well, I wasn’t going to find anything between now and 10 a.m.
Ethan
Since landing in London, the pull toward Anna had become stronger. She was becoming bigger in my thoughts and she wasn’t going away. I was going to have to track her down. I knew that now. The obvious way was through her friend’s boyfriend—Daniel Armitage. I could call him or maybe one of the other partners knew him – they probably ran in the same circles. Yes, Armitage would be the way in.
I picked up an unknown number calling my cell.
“Scott,” I answered.
“Hey, Ethan. It’s Phoebe.”
Phoebe was one of the few women I’d fucked more than once. She lived in Boston and came to New York for work regularly. I didn’t have her number. She called me if she was in town and wanted to get laid. Until now I’d been happy to help her out.
“So I’m in town and wondered if you were free tonight, say around ten?”
“Actually,” I said closing the door to my temporary office, “I’m in London, for work, and . . .”
“Okay, so I’ll call you next time.”
“Er, Phoebe . . .”
“Yes?”
“You know that I’ve never bullshitted you about our . . . relationship.” This was harder than I expected.
“Yes, Ethan, I’m not in love with you, don’t worry that handsome face of yours.”
I laughed, trying to sound casual. “Yeah, I know you would never be that crazy. It’s just . . . well, I don’t think we should catch up anymore when you’re in town.”
“Oh. Okay. Did you go gay?” She laughed again, in a little less assured way this time.
“Sorry, I just, well I met someone.”
“Oh wow. First George Clooney, and now you? Well, I’m happy for you, I really am. Look, I’ve gotta go. Take care now.” The phone went dead.
Relief pooled in my stomach and I collapsed back in my chair. It was only a half-lie. I had met someone and even though we weren’t together, our week together made my arrangement with Phoebe seem kinda sleazy.
Now I needed to focus. To concentrate. We were about to head into the conference room to make the announcement to the staff. Later today, I’d put a call into Armitage and see if I could find Anna.
“Ethan, just to recap, I’ll speak for about ten minutes and then introduce you,” Frank, the outgoing senior partner addressed me. I nodded, half listening. There was no need to fucking recap. We weren’t conducting brain surgery, this was a staff announcement about a merger.
Would Armitage tell me where she was? Would she be back with her ex? Get your head in the fucking game.
We filed into the conference room. You could feel the tension in the air, it was heavy. Lawyers didn’t like surprises and here was a room full of them scared out of their wits. As I scanned the room, eyes tried to catch mine, trying to see what was going to be announced seconds before the person next to them. My attention swept left and right and I tried to force a smile. I wasn’t here to announce bad news, after all. This was good for everyone. Their firm wasn’t going under and it would have if it hadn’t been for us.
My eyes were pulled to a group of lawyers at the side of the room, and something I couldn’t quite make out caught my attention. The faces gradually came into focus and there, standing behind the throng of chairs, she stood. Anna. My Anna. Looking straight at me, her mouth open, as if she’d seen a ghost.
Fuck.
I looked away quickly, and looked at the floor, trying to get my head together. My brain was fuzzy and I couldn’t organize my thoughts properly. She was here? She was a lawyer? The floor disappeared from beneath me as I tried to make sense of what I’d seen. I was meant to be saying a few reassuring words. She looked amazing. Different. Had Frank stopped speaking?
Fuck.
Get your fucking shit together, Ethan. I brought my fist to my mouth and cleared my throat.
I looked up, stared straight ahead and tuned into what Frank was saying. He sounded beaten, exhausted.
As he introduced me, I clapped him on the back. “Thanks Frank. I’m delighted to be here today with a number of my colleagues from New York to announce what will be the start of a new dawn for both our firms. Allen & Smith has a fantastic reputation for quality and client service and we’re all looking forward to working more closely together in these coming weeks, months and years. The merger is effective from the end of the month, after which we will be rebranded as one firm. We have some time for questions.”
I concentrated hard on not looking in Anna’s direction. I couldn’t afford to be distracted on such a big day for both our firms.
The questions were inane and easy to answer, and I took each of them on auto-pilot.
Would there be redundancies? Did anyone really expect a straight answer to that question?
What would the new name of the firm be? “That’s still being discussed” was the official answer, although in reality the names Allen and Smith were being dropped.
Would there be opportunities to work in the New York office? We hoped to create opportunities of all kinds for people across the firm.
It was all ambiguity and bullshit. Two things I hated.
That was when I let my eyes be drawn to her. She was staring at her feet, not at me. What was she thinking?
We wrapped up and everyone trailed out. The rest of the day was spent in interviews with the legal press, meetings with clients and getting to know the other partners. Part of my role was to assess which of the partners made the cut. There was no doubt that people were going to get fired. We needed to improve profitability and quality, fast. That meant getting rid of dead wood. Frank would be the first to go. But I could tell today that he knew that and that he wouldn’t be a problem.
It was about 6 p.m. when things started to slow a bit. All in all, it had gone well. Apparently the legal press had been positive. I’d not seen it but my secretary passed me various articles throughout the day. I asked for a tour of the building to fill in the time before we went to dinner—the obligatory, first night in London welcome from the Allen & Smith partners. I really needed to check my messages but I wanted to see where exactly she worked and if I could spot her again. I insisted that Frank didn’t take me on the tour. He looked exhausted and could probably do with a break before dinner. Instead, Paul, a more junior partner showed me round. I tried to listen to what he was saying but really I spent my time scanning offices, trying to find her. I wasn’t quite sure what I’d say if I did come across her. I grinned at the thought of seeing her again. Although I’d only seen her for a few seconds, that open mouth she had was the same one I saw just before she came. Jesus, I could feel my cock stirring. Maybe seeing her again was not a good idea.
I slapped Paul on the back and suggest we wrap up the tour and head off to the restaurant.
Anna
I was waiting for Leah when she arrived, looking a bit flustered. I was a glass ahead of her. Wine not whiskey, which I was sure to regret tomorrow but right then I didn’t care.
I topped up my glass and poured Leah a glass, draining the bottle. I waved at the waiter, trying to get his attention so he could bring us more alcohol.
“Jesus, Anna, it’s a Monday. I can’t get hammered,” Leah said as she sat down and took a sip of her wine.
“So, I saw Ethan today,” I said.
Leah looked confused. “What do you mean you saw Ethan?”
>
I took another glug of my wine and nodded. “Ethan. In London. Announcing the merger.”
Leah had emailed me when the news had broken online about the merger. I hadn’t responded other than to give her a time to meet up this evening.
“What do you mean ‘announcing the merger’? I’m not with you.”
The waiter appeared at our table.
“We’re going to need more wine,” Leah said helpfully. At least she got that bit. “Start at the beginning.”
“I told you the staff announcement was at 10 a.m. We filed in to the big conference room and there he was. Standing next to Frank.”
“He was there?” she asked, catching on to what I was saying.
I nodded. “Yup. Representing Flanders, Case & Burling, the US firm that’s taking us over. Why they bother calling it a merger, I have no idea, it’s a takeover - we were about to go under. He spoke, after Frank, I think. I can’t really remember.”
“Shit.”
I nodded again.
“Did you get to speak to him?”
“No.”
“Did he see you there?”
“Yes, briefly, he looked at me.”
“Do you think he knew you would be there?”
I shrugged. “I guess. I’m sure he had employee lists. I don’t know,” I said.
I shrugged again, and drank more wine.
“So, what was it like? Seeing him?”
It had been a shock seeing him again. A wonderful shock. A confusing shock. Excitement had coursed through me as I’d stared at him as he’d fiddled with some papers in front of him. And then, as he scanned the room, I knew he’d find me. And when he did, he snatched his gaze away as if I was the last person he wanted to see. It had stung.
“Do you think he knew in New York?” I blurted. The thought had just occurred to me.
“What? Knew where you worked? No. Do you think he did?”
I drank more. The effect of the alcohol seeped through my body. Was he just playing some weird fucking game with me? Trying to get information on Allen & Smith? It was a pretty big coincidence for him to be a partner at the law firm that was taking over the place I worked, wasn’t it?
“I think he’s an asshole who was using me,” I stated.
“Why? What would he be using you for? And anyway, he can’t have known. It’s just a coincidence. It’s the universe’s way of bringing you two back on the same continent, in the same city because it knows how good you are together.” Leah looked at me hopefully.
“Shut the fuck up and drink with me,” I responded.
That’s how he knew my name in New York. He’d not guessed my real name was Anna—there’d been no connection between us, which meant he could see who I really was without me having to tell him. He’d simply known. He’d played some weird mind game on me to try and get me to sleep with him. Using what he’d found in fucking due diligence to get laid. What a prick. He knew the whole fucking time. Things were starting to make sense to me now. Thank you wine.
“Did he try and speak to you?” Leah asked.
“No.” That had stung, too. He hadn’t looked at me again for the rest of the meeting. Not even a glance in my direction and I was sure about that because I hadn’t been able keep my eyes off him. What was he going to say to me anyway? “Sorry I lied and mislead you but it was business”?
And now I was going to be working for him. He was effectively going to be my boss or my boss’s boss or something. Well, hopefully he’d be back in New York by the end of the week and I wouldn’t hear his name again.
“Well, I’m sure you two will catch up soon. This is exciting!”
“It’s not exciting, Leah, it’s a disaster. I’m a walking disaster when it comes to men.”
“You are not! This Ethan thing could work out well. How long is he in London for?”
“He’s a liar and he used me. Maybe he was trying to get information about Allen & Smith. He’s an asshole.”
“That seems pretty unlikely, Anna. You’re jumping to conclusions. Wine does not bring wisdom.”
I hadn’t told her that he’d guessed my name in New York. It was a weird thing to have happened, so I’d kept it to myself. Now I was pleased I hadn’t told her. I felt like such a fool for believing that it had been real.
* * * * *
The next day at work my anger at Ethan and my hangover mixed into a mood that turned me into something that was straight from Greek myth and legend. I swear to god, I think if anyone had so much as looked at me wrong, I would have turned them to stone. I wasn’t taking any shit from anyone. I pounded through my work, refusing to think about anything but the contracts in front of me. The asshole that was Ethan Scott was not going to distract me or affect my career. Once again I’d proven to myself that I only attracted the lowest type of man. I was going to spend the rest of my life celibate. Decision made. It was easier all around, please move along, nothing to see here.
I was close to not having anything to do. It was never like that but because I’d been working like a machine since I’d returned from New York—contracts were flying off my desk. I needed to stay distracted so I fired off an email to my boss telling him that I had capacity to do more. I was going to get employee of the year.
Chapter Three
Ethan
I sat at my desk trying to concentrate on my emails. I had twenty minutes until my next meeting and despite the fact I’d not had any sleep, I hadn’t used my insomnia to keep on top of work and emails from clients were piling up. I forwarded a lot of them to my assistant in New York but he wouldn’t be in the office for hours. If the volume of meetings continued like this, I was going to start to lose clients. I needed some people, a team, here in London, if this was going to work. And I needed to sleep. Despite being awake all night, I’d not been doing what I should have been and working through my in-box, instead I’d been going over the booklet of associate details I’d been handed when I arrived. Of course, there was only one associate I was interested in. It didn’t tell me much. Just her department, her office number and her personal contact details.
I left the dinner earlier than was polite. I needed some time to think. I wanted to speak to her. It had been so good to see her. She had looked fucking amazing. I wanted to kiss her, touch her, bury myself in her.
Walking through the corridors at the office, I kept scanning the people scuttling around me, trying to find her . . . but nothing. It was irritating because I kept catching people’s eyes as I looked for her. Everyone clearly knew me so I’d been trying to keep to my office between meetings.
I flicked open the booklet. I could call her and invite her to lunch or something. I dialed her number.
“Anna Kirby,” she answered, sounding . . . irritated.
“Anna, it’s Ethan,” I spoke softly.
Silence.
“Anna?”
“What do you want?” she snapped.
It was not the response I’d expected and my body clenched. I hadn’t thought this through.
“I want to speak to you.” I would have thought it was obvious.
“I’m at work.”
“Anna.”
“You’ve got all the information you could ever need about Allen & Smith, I don’t know why you need to speak to me about anything more.”
She hung up. What was that? Did she understand that it was me? Did she get me confused with someone else?
My secretary Theresa, interrupted my thoughts and gave me some papers for the next meeting. Anna would have to wait.
“Can you get me in with Frank after this and before my lunch? I need to talk to him about resourcing my client work,” I asked.
“No problem,” she replied.
I liked her. She was efficient and pleasant but not a people pleaser and she wasn’t trying to blow smoke up my ass. She was the only one not being a kiss ass and I was grateful to her for it.
* * * * *
Back at my desk, I tried Anna’s extension again. No answer. I
t was 6.p.m. I’d declined a dinner invitation that evening so I could catch up on things but I wanted to speak to Anna, get to the bottom of her brush off earlier and, I don’t know, hang out with her, hear about what had been going on with her. What the hell was the matter with her? I worked out from her extension that she must be on the fourth floor so I went down in search of her. She couldn’t ignore me if I was stood right in front of her.
I wandered left out of the elevators. All the floors were the same layout—a mixture of open plan seating and rows of offices Where to start? What was I going to say to her when I found her?
One of the corporate partners, Al, found me before I had time to decide.
“Ethan, Frank spoke to me earlier, I was just about to brief a couple of assistants I’ve identified to work with you. Do you want to come with me and meet them? They’re a couple of real stars, ready and eager to help you with whatever you need,” he said.
“Sure,” I replied. Was there another appropriate response? It was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to find Anna.
I followed Al as he went on about the associates he’d lined up and we walked across the floor, between the desks. I saw her before she saw me but only just. I smiled and she looked back down at what she was working on. Al charged into her office and she was forced to look up. She avoided looking at me.
“Anna, have you met Ethan?”
She stood up and came out from behind her desk.
“No, we’ve not met. I’m Anna Kirby.”
I followed her lead and pretended not to know her. I took her hand to shake as she offered it to me. Her skin was as soft as I remembered but I wasn’t used to seeing her in formal work wear. She gave me a tight smile and focused on something over my shoulder, not looking at me. What the fuck? My eyes glided down her body, taking in skin above her shirt, her tight skirt, the bump on her thigh gave away that she was wearing a garter belt. I wondered who else had noticed. Who was she wearing that for?
“Anna is one of our brightest associates and is going to be helping you out while you’re in London.” Al said.