by Louise Bay
“Anna, talk to me. What are you scared of?”
It was like he’d uncorked a bottle of something fizzy and everything just spilled out. “I’m scared this, us, is more than sex. I’m scared that I want this to be more than sex. I’m scared of you leaving and I’m scared of you staying. I’m scared of how I feel about this, you. It’s just complicated and this wasn’t supposed to be complicated. You could hurt me, Ethan. Already, you could really hurt me.”
I kept my eyes away from his, worried at what I would see if I looked. He just pulled me toward him and held me tight. “I know,” he whispered in my hair.
Chapter Seven
Ethan
Her reaction to me calling her my girlfriend fucking hurt. I knew it shouldn’t but for the first time in my life, I wanted to be able to call someone my girlfriend and she practically fucking winced when I’d said it. I tried to not let it bother me, but it did. It really fucking bothered me.
I didn’t follow what happened next. Her moods seemed to zigzag, throwing me off the scent every time I thought I’d caught up. She seemed to be quiet, angry and sad all within a sixty-second window
I’d managed to get her to open up a bit but I was in new territory. Other than my sister, I’d never had to comfort any woman who was upset.
I stood with her wrapped in my arms and wondered what I should say next. Fuck.
“Beautiful, how do we make this less complicated? How do I make this less complicated? I hate to see you sad.” Did she know what she wanted and was just too afraid to tell me?
She made sounds against my chest but I’m pretty sure none of them were actual words. Jesus, she was usually so feisty, this sad side of her was one I’d never seen. How many did she have?
“What are you thinking? No bullshit,” she asked.
Shit.
“I’m thinking about you,” I replied, hoping that would placate her.
“What about me? That I’m some kind of crazy emotional person?”
“Maybe.”
She laughed against my chest and I felt so fucking relieved. I didn’t want her back in angry mode again.
“Sorry, I just, it’s just—”
I kept hold of her. “I don’t want you to be upset. I don’t want you to be frightened. I don’t want to hurt you. Ever. I want us to hang out, have hot sex, be together, be happy.”
“I want that, too,” she said quietly. “But what happens when you go back?”
I hadn’t thought about what would happen in three months. I didn’t even spend the night with the women I fucked, so every day with Anna felt different and special—like an adventure. I didn’t know what the road I was on held. “I don’t have all the answers. You might hate me in three months. All I know is that I’d rather spend this time with you and risk a broken heart than walk away. But if you don’t want to take that risk then—”
She pulled away and looked at me, smiling softly. “Oh my god, you’re perfect. And I do want to do all those things. I just know I won’t hate you in three months.” She put her head back on my chest.
“I’m anything but perfect, Miss Anna.”
“Please don’t break my heart,” she whispered.
I had a feeling that she might be the first girl capable of breaking mine but the thought didn’t scare me. I wanted to be with her more than I wanted to protect myself. I needed her to feel the same. I squeezed her close. I wanted to take all the doubt and worry away from her.
We stood there for what seemed like hours, just holding each other, not wanting to be the first one to let go.
Her phone going off finally separated us.
“Hey, Leah.”
I scrubbed my face with my hands. This relationship stuff was—Anna caught my eye as she talked into her phone. She was grinning at me. She was so fucking hot, despite the mood swings. This relationship stuff was so totally worth it.
“Okay, I’ll ask him. I have no idea. Er, when you hang up.”
I slumped on the sofa and when she hung up she came over and straddled me.
“Leah invited us over for dinner on Tuesday,” she explained.
“Great,” I replied
“You want to go?” she asked
“Of course.” I was looking forward to getting to see inside her life in London. Leah had seemed nice when I’d met her in New York and Armitage sounded like a decent guy.
She took my face in her hands.
“Are we good?” she asked.
I flipped her to her back onto the sofa and her hands slid to my neck. “We’re very good.” I kissed her neck and she lifted her chin to give me better access. I loved the feeling of her fingers in my hair. Somehow it seemed so intimate, I was Samson to her Delilah—I knew she could ruin me in the way she thought I could ruin her.
“Shall I cancel dinner at my sister’s?”
“No, why?”
“Well, we could stay home and do this all night,” I replied as I sucked on the flesh just below her collarbone.
“You’re going to leave a mark,” she said.
“I hope so.” I moved to the other side of her neck. I liked the idea of people being able to see my lips on her.
“Do you really want to cancel?” she asked.
“Yes, but it’s not worth the grief I’d get from her. Do you mind?”
“No. I’m interested to meet her.”
“Izzy is more interesting.”
“Izzy?”
“My niece. She’s adorable. She doesn’t get it from my sister, that’s for certain.”
“Be nice.”
“You haven’t met her. She’s a terror.”
“I’m sure she just tries to keep your bad behavior in check.”
“Great, talking about my sister has meant my hard-on has packed up and left, so we might as well go to dinner.” I dragged myself off her and pulled her up so she was sitting.
“I thought you said we were due there at seven.”
I nodded.
“We have time,” she said as her hand brushed against my denim covered dick and she looked up coyly at me. “Can I see if I can convince your hard-on to stick around? You’ve not been inside me since this morning and I can’t wait until bedtime.” Her eyes were glazed and her voice was breathy. Women before her had said things to me to try and please me, because they thought they should. With Anna it sounded like she couldn’t not say it. That what was in her head just trickled out and turned me on. I could feel the blood rushing to my dick already.
* * * * *
Despite an excellent blowjob and burying myself in her for what seemed like hours, my hard-on seemed to be permanent around her. I wasn’t sure if it was the backless top that she was wearing, her heels or just that smile.
“Are you okay?” she asked as we pulled up outside my sister’s place.
I grinned in response. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m ready for inspection.”
I suppose she was going to be under a bit of scrutiny from Jessica. Was that part of what had freaked her out earlier? I was just coming to see my sister and didn’t want to spend the evening without her. I’d not thought that this was an event. She was meeting my family.
“Just so you know, I don’t give a shit about my sister’s opinion about anything.”
She playfully whacked me with her handbag as she got out of the cab. “Don’t say that, it’s not nice.”
“I just mean this isn’t a test. It’s dinner.”
“Stop worrying about me. You’ll be the next to have a meltdown. I’m looking forward to it.”
“So we’re living in the moment?”
She stopped just before the gate and grinned at me. I couldn’t help but grin back.
“Kiss me,” she said.
I bent over to peck her on the lips and she wrapped her arms around me. She delved into my mouth with her tongue, pushing it passionately against mine. I slid my hands across her naked back, pulling her against me. Her perfect tits crushed against my chest. Fuck, she wasn�
�t wearing a bra.
Abruptly, she pulled away. “Living in the moment. Especially moments like that. Tell your hard-on he’s off duty for a couple of hours.” She grinned and I grabbed her hand and set off up the path to my sister’s front door.
“You’re cruel.” I huffed.
“You’ve got the sexual appetite of a nineteen-year-old boy.”
“And you’re the Virgin Mary?”
“I’m thinking that you give me the appetite of a nineteen-year-old boy, too.”
“Let’s just go home,” I whined. The last thing I wanted to do now was spend the evening with my sister. Anna stepped forward and pressed the buzzer and before I could suggest we make a run for it, shadows appeared through the frosted glass.
James threw the door open. “The women in this house are not in a good place.”
“Fuck off, James,” Jessica shouted from upstairs and Izzy started to wail. “Now look what you’ve done.”
“Welcome to the happiest place on earth,” James said and moved sideways so we could go inside.
“This is Anna.” I deliberately did not drop the word “girlfriend”.
Anna and James greeted each other and I wondered if Anna was feeling awkward. My sister screaming down the stairs wasn’t the friendliest of greetings. But Anna was smiling and she seemed relaxed.
“Jessica is just trying to settle Izzy, as you can hear. She’ll be down in a minute. And then once she’s downed a glass of merlot, she’ll almost be human.”
“I heard that.” Jessica trilled as she came into the kitchen where we were gathered, James pouring us drinks. “You’d better pour me two glasses.”
“Izzy down?” I asked.
“Hey, Bond. Yes, for how long, who knows?”
“Bond?” Anna asked.
“Jessica, this is my—this is Anna.”
Anna turned to look at me, grinned and then turned to Jessica. “I’m Ethan’s girlfriend, nice to meet you.”
My heart jumped in my chest and a dull ache drummed in my stomach. As I pulled my eyes from Anna to Jessica, Jessica was looking at me as if she was waiting for me to say something. I tried to pull down the corners of my mouth but it wasn’t working. She was my girlfriend and I was very fucking happy about it. I grabbed her hip and pulled her toward me.
“Well, wonders will never cease. Izzy’s asleep and Bond has a girlfriend. Fuck me.”
“Don’t swear,” James said.
“Izzy’s fucking upstairs. She can’t fucking hear us.”
“We’re trying not to swear in front of her,” James explained.
I nodded, not wanting to get involved. Jessica needed her Merlot.
“So what’s with calling you Bond?” Anna asked. I groaned.
“Oh this is going to be interesting. I can tell you all Ethan’s embarrassing stories.” Jessica was practically gleeful and I rolled my eyes at her.
“Jessica’s disastrous teenage dating years can trump anything she’s got on me. Bring it on,” I replied.
Jessica laughed. “This is going to be fun.”
Anna
Ethan’s sister was pretty. Beautiful even. I suppose that should be no surprise given Ethan’s god-like features. You could definitely see the resemblance. What was more interesting to me was the relationship he had with her. It was playful and teasing and sweet. Being with them reminded me of being in the Hamptons, he was relaxed and happy—Ethan’s life was full of good people who loved him. Happy couples living happy lives. I wondered why he’d not dated before—didn’t he want that too?
“I bet you still have all the books out, like you’re trying to intellectualize a boyhood obsession,” Jessica taunted him. Jessica had explained all about Ethan’s James Bond obsession. There were worse obsessions to have.
“They’re valuable. First editions,” he replied looking slightly wounded. “At least it’s more intellectual than the Boys II Men obsession you had.”
“Yeah, but I don’t still have my Boys II Men posters on my wall. They came down when I started dating for real. Although I should have left them up. Rock star fantasies are so much better than the reality of dating grabby teenage boys.”
“Or dating any aged men. It’s not just teenage boys that are grabby,” I said, forgetting my filter. “Present company excepted, of course.” I cringed and Jessica laughed.
“You’re probably right. The last date I went on before I met James not only made me pay for dinner but spent the night texting an ex-girlfriend, which he excused by saying she was upset over a break-up.”
I nodded. “I went on a date once and came out of the loo at our restaurant to find him taking the number of the waitress.”
“Jesus.” Ethan recoiled.
“And in college my long-time boyfriend ended up cheating on me with my best friend. Same thing happened to Leah before she met Daniel. I’m a shit magnet, what can I say.”
“So what does that make me?” Ethan asked.
“Hmmm, a knight on a white horse, his colors flying?” I grinned at him and he grinned back.
“OMG, are you quoting Pretty Woman?” Jessica asked, grinning at me expectantly.
I nodded. “I hear you’re a fan of the film, too?”
“I love it. Seen it a million times. I used to make Ethan watch it over and over.”
“It paid off,” I said. “Did he tell you what he did in New York?”
“Holy hell, Anna, you’re not telling that story.” Ethan groaned. “I think I preferred the ex-boyfriend talk.”
“You have to tell me now,” Jessica squealed.
“No, Anna. Jessica doesn’t want to hear about what her brother does naked,” Ethan interjected.
“That’s true,” Jessica said. “No sex stories. Not ever. Well, not about my brother anyway. If they’re about a sexy man I’m not related to, then dish! I’ve completely run out of my own stories and I need to live vicariously!”
“I don’t want to hear about you naked either, for Christ’s sake.” Ethan rolled his eyes.
“Okay, more ex stories—my most recent ex owed money to someone he shouldn’t and they ended up breaking into my flat to scare me.”
Ethan pushed his chair away from the table, the legs, scraping across the tiled floor. “Are you fucking serious?” I looked at him and his face was dark, his eyes boring into me. I was stunted by his reaction, and I didn’t have time to answer him. “The flat you’re in now?”
“Ethan.” I reached across to him, taking his hand in mine. “I’m selling it, you know I am, and the police are involved.”
“How could you not tell me?” He was scouring my face, as if looking for more information.
“It hasn’t come up. And there’s nothing to tell.”
“You’re not staying there,” he growled.
“Ethan, I’ve stayed there since, it was months ago, and you’ve been there with me recently.” I grabbed his hand, trying to reassure him.
“You’re not staying there on your own again,” he said, calmer but still resolute.
“Okay,” I said, meaning it. I liked that he cared enough to want to protect me. It felt nice. It felt safe. He smiled at me and squeezed my hand.
“Wow,” Jessica said and we both snapped our heads ’round to her voice at the same time.
“What?” Ethan asked.
She shrugged and started to clear the plates from the table. I stood up but Ethan pulled me back down, not letting go of my hand.
“Let me help,” I said, trying to get up again. Ethan pulled me and my chair toward him with one hand, his other not leaving mine.
“You two sit here. James and I will get this,” Jessica said.
I leaned my head on Ethan’s shoulder. “Do you work with him?” he asked after a few beats.
“No, god no. He wasn’t . . . just no.”
“Do you still see him?”
I shook my head. “No, not at all.”
“Talk to him?”
“No, Ethan. Please. We can talk when we get home, b
ut drop it while we’re here.” I smiled at him stiffly, aware Jessica and James would be back any minute.
“I don’t like it,” he snapped.
“Clearly.”
James came back in with two bottles of wine. “I thought we might need extra supplies. I say, if in doubt, get pissed.”
“It’s the only thing we have in common anymore,” Jessica said as she came in with a tray of chocolate mousse. “Getting wasted to block out reality.”
“I hear it’s the only way to deal with children,” I said.
“Absolutely,” James and Jessica chorused and then laughed.
I smiled and turned to look at Ethan who was staring at me as if he’d not heard any of the interaction. I squeezed his hand and he blinked and looked away.
“What is this crap you’re drinking?” He grinned and threw back a glass of whatever it was, clearly not too concerned.
“So, what do you do?” Jessica asked me.
“Oh, I’m a lawyer. I work at the firm that Ethan’s firm just took over.”
Jessica looked at her brother and then back at me. “So, you met working together? Is that allowed?”
“We met in New York, in the summer. It was coincidence that we work together. We didn’t know,” Ethan said.
It was clear, Ethan hadn’t said much to his sister about me.
“So you didn’t come to London to spend time with your sister and niece. Typical.” Jessica was obviously joking.
“No, I came to do a job. I didn’t know where Anna worked until we bumped into each other at work.”
“Oh, wow,” she said. “That sounds kinda romantic.”
“It is what it is.” Ethan sat back in his chair, his hand still not releasing mine.
“So, when are you going back to work?” Ethan asked. “Jessica’s a dentist. She’ll make a fortune in this country.”
I elbowed him in the ribs.
“Yeah, I’m going to see a few practices next week actually. I’m a bit scared about going back. I’ve probably forgotten everything. It’s been over a year.”
“Hey, you’re great at your job. You won’t have forgotten anything.” Ethan turned to me. “Jessica is as smart as a whip. Top of her class.”
It was cute to see him so proud of her. I grinned. “I’m sure it runs in the family. What do your parents do?” I asked.