by Cindy Kirk
“She’d have done what she wanted, whether I agreed or not.” He willed Abby to see the truth in his eyes. “If she decided to take you to court, she’d have pursued that vendetta without me. If she decided to take custody of Eva Grace just to put her in an institution, I’d have battled her in court and likely won. But at what cost? To you? To me? To Eva Grace?”
“How could you stay with such a monster?”
His words came out on a shuddering breath, “Because I helped create that monster.”
+
The gate to the park where Jonah and Eva Grace had once pushed their swings to the heavens drew Abby. She opened it and stepped inside. Unlike the last time she’d been here, today the park was filled with parents and children.
Abby almost turned around and walked out. Then she spotted an empty ornate iron bench under a red maple. She moved quickly to it, her legs quivering. “What do you mean?”
Jonah didn’t immediately answer; his gaze appeared drawn to a father pushing a girl who could be no more than six months in a baby swing. “I always wanted children. Not just one but a whole houseful. A desire for a large family was something Veronica and I shared.”
For a second, a memory had his gaze turning distant and his lips lifting in a smile. Then a shutter dropped. “Despite the fact that we were young and supposedly healthy, the babies didn’t come.”
Abby remembered how Veronica’s personality had changed. They’d been friends back then. Veronica had told her the fertility drugs made her edgy, but she’d refused to quit until the doctors said no more.”
Things had always come easily for Veronica. Not getting what she wanted, what her husband wanted had driven her crazy.
“I’m surprised you didn’t give adoption another try.” Abby softened her voice, recalling the pain both Veronica and Jonah experienced when the birth mother changed her mind at the last minute.
Jonah shook his head. “Veronica saw that experience as just another failure. I assured her that she was enough. She didn’t believe me. Not after all the talk of children early in our marriage. Not after the excitement over the adoption.”
Abby looked at this man and remembered the boy who’d once been her best friend. What had Nell said about most choices not being black and white?
“I’m not telling you this because I’m hoping for absolution.” His voice shook with emotion. “Despite everything, the truth is I didn’t step up and do the right thing. That will be my shame until the day I die.”
Though Abby had never been a crier, large droplets slid down her cheeks and plopped on her lap. She couldn’t stop them. Didn’t even know whether she wanted to.
The angry knot around her heart that had kept her from breathing deeply the past five years unraveled and fell away. When Jonah arms slid around her, the tears became a torrent.
“I’m here. Don’t worry.” Gentle hands stroked her hair. “I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”
+
Eva Grace stopped sawing into the pumpkin and tilted her head, her gaze now fully focused on Abby. “How can he be my daddy?”
“Remember when I told you that Mommy planned to carry a baby for another couple, but that didn’t work out, and I was so happy because I fell in love with you and wanted to keep you?” Abby had told this story so many times in the past couple of years that, despite her nerves, it came easily to her lips.
She and Jonah had decided to tell Eva Grace that night that he was her father. Although no promises had been made between them, she trusted Jonah to be there for her. And for her, er, their daughter.
Eva Grace’s eyes shifted to Jonah. “Where have you been?”
“He—” Abby began, but Jonah lifted a hand, letting her know he had this one.
“I’ve been living in Springfield.” Jonah kept his tone easy, though Abby watched the muscle in his jaw jump. “It’s a long ways away. I moved here because I want to be close to you.”
Eva Grace thought for a moment, then picked up her pumpkin knife. “Do you think that his smile should go up or down?”
Jonah studied the pumpkin. “Up. Because he’s happy.”
The little girl smiled. “He is happy.”
Abby waited while Eva Grace stuck her knife into the pumpkin and began to saw. “Do you have any other questions right now?”
“Yep.”
“What is it?” Abby prompted.
Eva Grace turned to Jonah. “Can I call you Daddy?”
Chapter Twenty-Two
“I almost lost it when Eva Grace asked if she could call me Daddy.” Jonah gave a little laugh. “I can’t believe she wasn’t more upset.”
“She’s wanted a daddy. Now here you are.” Abby kept her tone light. “Why wouldn’t she be happy?”
There were lots of ways Jonah could answer that, but he realized by her response, they both needed a break from the heavy discussion.
After Eva Grace was in bed, Abby had opened a bottle of wine and he’d picked up a sweet and savory cheese platter from Matilda’s.
Jonah let the subject drop and allowed himself to relax for what felt like the first time in five years.
When Abby turned on a romantic comedy, he sat on the sofa beside her while they drank wine and munched on fig-and-apple compote, crisp crostini, and an assortment of cheeses.
Sometime during the movie, his arm found its way around her shoulder, and she nestled against him. The couple on the screen had just weathered a storm that would have shipwrecked a lesser couple when Jonah leaned over and brushed his lips lightly against Abby’s.
She glanced up, a question in those beautiful dark eyes. “What’s that for?”
“You’re an amazing woman, Abigail Fine.”
Startled surprise mixed with pleasure on her pretty face.
“And,” he added, brushing a strand of hair back from her face with the back of his hand, “an amazing mother.”
“I try to do my best,” she said simply. “That’s all any of us can do.”
“Humble, too.” He kissed her again. “Which I find incredibly sexy.”
She smiled against his mouth and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Tell me more.”
Jonah gazed into her eyes, and what he’d refused to see for so long smacked him in the face. He loved Abby.
Not liked.
Loved.
“You’re the best woman I know. Smart. Hardworking. Loving.” Jonah scattered kisses down her jaw and neck.
Her soft moan had his mouth returning to her lips for a kiss that turned from sweet to hot in a heartbeat. By the time they came up for air, Jonah wanted her with every fiber of his being.
Too soon, he told himself.
He shifted, gathered her close, and kissed her temple. “We should probably—”
Whatever he’d planned to say was forgotten when she pulled his face down with her hand and gave him a ferocious kiss. His control nearly shattered when Abby lifted her face and he saw his own desire reflected in her chocolate depths.
“I don’t want to push you,” he murmured, his control held in place by one tenuous thread.
“You’re not.” Abby laughed a short nervous burst of air as color flooded her face. “I’ve wanted you since I was sixteen.”
“Sixteen, eh?” Jonah eyed her for a long moment, his eyes boring into hers, then he winked. “I guess I better make this worth the wait.”
+
Abby’s heart performed a series of flutters as a look of tenderness crossed his face. Something inside her seemed to lock into place, and she couldn’t look away.
His fingers weren’t quite steady as they touched the curve of her cheek, trailed along the line of her jaw. Abby held herself very still as the gentle touch left a trail of fire in its wake. If this was a dream, she didn’t want to wake up.
“It’s been a long time for me,” she blurted out. “A very long time.”
His husky laugh did strange things to her insides while the hand that stroked her hair soothed and steadied her. He sm
elled of sap and a familiar warm male scent that made something tighten low in her abdomen.
“Tonight is about the future.” Jonah moved his arm so that her hand slid down to his, and he gently locked their fingers together. “A first. For both of us.”
Abby found herself nodding.
He brought their joined hands to his mouth, his eyes never leaving hers. “Are you protected?”
Protection. Her mind raced. “I haven’t really da-dated since Eva Grace was born.”
Jonah didn’t push, just waited for her to gather her thoughts and get it all out.
“Last year there was someone in town who, well, who appealed to me.” Her cheeks heated with stinging color. “I bought some condoms, but he moved to California before we even went out.”
“I’m glad he moved.” His voice took on a horse, throaty rasp. He smiled. “I’m even more glad you have the condoms.”
Running her hands up along his sides, Abby curled her body against him, moving seductively. “Are you going to talk all night?”
He laughed, a pleasant low rumbling sound. “That’s not the plan.”
Without warning, he rose and scooped her up in his arms.
Forgetting all about Eva Grace sleeping down the hall, Abby opened her mouth to shriek. Thankfully, Jonah was faster. His mouth closed over hers, and the shriek morphed into a moan.
By the time they reached her bedroom, she wanted him with an intensity that surprised her. She rummaged through her lingerie drawer and heaved a sigh of relief when her fingers closed around the unopened box.
While she pulled out several foil packets, Jonah closed and locked and the door behind them.
She’d barely taken a seat on the bed when he pounced. She couldn’t help but giggle. “Shoes off.”
“It’s a good start.” He tucked a stray curl behind her ear just before his shoes joined hers on the rug next to the bed.
Abby looped her arms around his neck and met his gaze. “Tell me this isn’t a mistake.”
He smiled, a boyish sort of smile that sent her stomach into flips and melted her heart. Then his expression sobered. “This isn’t a mistake.”
When she trembled, he lowered his lips to the top of her head. “We don’t have to do this. Not now, anyway.”
After the tiniest hesitation, Abby smiled. “We do.”
Pulling back, Jonah stared down at her, a question in his eyes.
“If we don’t, I’m going to explode.”
He grinned, full out. “I believe that’s my line.”
Slowly, his arms lifted to wrap around her, not confining but comfortable.
Abby gazed up at him. “I like to kiss you.”
“You’ll like the other stuff, too. But we’ll start with the kissing.”
Leaning over, he kissed the base of her jaw. When his mouth closed over hers, Abby nearly burst into the “Hallelujah” chorus.
He continued pressing his lips lightly to hers, teasingly, his mouth never pulling away. His hands slipped underneath her shirt, slowly sliding up and down her back. She knew what he was doing, making sure she was comfortable, not wanting to move too fast.
While Abby appreciated the consideration, she’d passed the desire for slow and sweet ten minutes ago. While it felt amazingly good to kiss him, it wasn’t enough.
She wanted to devour him like one of Matilda’s sweet cakes in greedy little bites.
She longed to run her hands over his bare body, to feel the coiled strength of skin and muscle sliding under her fingers.
She yearned to feel him inside her.
When he began to undress her, she returned the favor.
Jonah was every bit as beautiful as she’d imagined. Long muscular legs, broad shoulders, rock-hard abs, and an erection that both thrilled and had her swallowing in panic.
Before the fear could take over, he was kissing her again, and she was kissing him back. Her heart beat so hard she could feel the pulsing in her stomach.
He drew her to him, and the kisses became more fevered and urgent. A smoldering heat flared through her, a sensation she didn’t bother to fight.
When his hand closed over her breast, his thumb teasing her nipple, vibrations of intense desire shot through her. And when his mouth replaced his fingers, Abby heard herself groan, a low sound of want and need that astonished her with its intensity.
Those magic fingers moved lower to dark curls. A shock jolted Abby as those fingers found what they were searching for, the slippery friction spurring her heart into a rapid, frantic beat.
She parted her legs, wanting more, needing more.
Instead of pulling on the condom and relieving the burning need inside her, Jonah continued to kiss and explore her body with relentless determination. He worshipped her body with his mouth, with his fingers, until Abby found herself begging.
“Inside me.” Desperation made her voice husky.
Though she didn’t need to ask twice, he took a moment to kiss her with a slow thoroughness that left her hotter than a firecracker on the Fourth of July.
With quick, efficient movements, Jonah opened the foil packet, pulled on the condom, then moved to catch her mouth in a hard, deep kiss. “I can’t get enough of you.”
Abby’s lips felt swollen. Her body throbbed with need.
His hand flattened against her lower back, drawing her up against the length of his body. Abby pressed herself more fully to him, the action sending the heat percolating low in her belly to a full boil.
She planted a kiss at the base of his neck, then arched back as he slid inside her. He was big, and she was so very tight.
With great restraint, he moved deliberately back, then forward, letting her body carry the momentum. The rhythmic stroking had him sliding deeper with each thrust until she was fully impaled.
With his arms braced on either side of her, he gazed down at her, blue eyes dark and intense.
Love swirled inside Abby, filling her to bursting.
Love? She inhaled sharply.
No. No. No. She couldn’t be in love with Jonah. Not yet. It was too soon.
Before she could react to the panic rising inside her like an untied balloon, he began to move again. The pressure of his erection had her body throbbing as the grinding rhythm continued.
In and out. In and out.
Her breath came in short puffs until the heat engulfed her. Abby’s need for him became a stark carnal hunger.
The orgasm slammed into her with breathtaking speed. She surged upward and would have cried out, but his mouth once again covered hers, muffling the sound. The rush was powerful, like a wave flinging her into the darkness.
Seconds later, he drove deep, shuddering with his own release.
They lay there, joined together, neither of them moving. Abby knew she should be worried . . . about something . . . but right now, she couldn’t think what it was. Being with Jonah, with his arms around her, felt so right.
If anything was wrong, she would deal with it . . . later.
+
Jonah spent the night.
He’d planned to be back at his place before Eva Grace woke up. That didn’t happen.
“You’re here.” Still in pink pajamas covered in penguins, Eva Grace ran into the kitchen and flung her arms around him.
“Your mommy promised to make pancakes this morning, so I had to come back.” He lowered his voice to a confidential whisper. “She said she’d make a smiley face of blueberries on the top.”
“She does that for me sometimes,” Eva Grace told him, her expression serious. She turned to her mother. “Mommy, can I have a smiley face on mine, too?”
“Of course.” Abby smiled, drawing his gaze to her mouth. To her body, now hidden beneath yoga pants and a green top advertising the Inn at Hazel Green.
He let his gaze travel slowly over her. Last night had been wonderful. He’d never felt so close to her. Still, he’d worried she might have second thoughts and kick him to the curb this morning.
Instead, she�
��d invited him to stay for breakfast.
After . . . she’d shared her shower with him. Just remembering her slick wet skin had heat rushing through his body like a runaway train. Pushing the memory aside, Jonah focused on his daughter.
“Help me set the table, Eva Grace.” Jonah gestured to the silverware drawer. “You take care of the knives and forks, and I’ll handle plates and glasses.”
Eva Grace happily did as he requested, even pulling off sections of paper towels to be used as napkins.
By the time Jonah had added juice to the glasses, the pancakes were ready. Though the mounds of golden cakes, heavily interspersed with plump berries and topped with melted butter, smelled delicious, Jonah didn’t immediately dig in.
He glanced around the small table, still amazed at the blessing he’d received. Abby had generously opened her home and her heart to him even though he didn’t deserve such consideration.
She looked at him quizzically, glancing down at his untouched plate.
He picked up his fork. “Just enjoying the view.”
She flushed and turned to Eva Grace. “Jonah has agreed to spend the day with us.”
“Yay.” Eva Grace held up her fork in a stiff-armed salute. “What are we going to do?”
“Hmmm.” Abby tapped her lips with a finger. “Do you have something specific in mind?”
Jonah studied Eva Grace. “I was thinking the Lincoln Park Zoo might be fun.”
The family-oriented zoo, located in the heart of Chicago, billed itself as a wildlife experience. In his mind, the best thing about it being in downtown Chicago was that the three of them could explore it without running into someone they knew.
For now, Jonah didn’t want to share his girls with anyone. Or answer any questions. “The weather is forecast to be mild. Not too hot or cold.”
“Like the three bears,” Eva Grace piped up.
For a second, Abby appeared puzzled, then she laughed. “Like the porridge.”
Jonah just shook his head. The two were definitely on the same wavelength. “What do you say?”
“I say yes,” Eva Grace shouted her agreement.
“Indoor voice,” her mother warned before turning to Jonah. “It’s a good choice. I prefer to take some time before . . .”