A Broken Forever

by Megan Noelle

  “I don’t want this to be goodbye. It’s unrealistic to think of us not even being friends, and if you want to be, I’d love it.”

  “Friends?” He asked, backing away to search my eyes for answers.

  “Friends.” I confirmed. “No one else in either of our lives know about Allie. Also, I know it’d be nothing but a lie to say I don’t want you in my life. I’ll always need you, Stefan. So, if you can accept that we can only just be friends, then I want to be.”

  After a moment a smile broke across his face. “If it means that I don’t have to say goodbye to you again, then friends we shall be.”

  My smile broke into a grin much greater than I anticipated. Stretching up I placed a kiss against his cheek. I pulled back; saying the words he had said the very first day we met.

  “I’m really kinda liking you, Stefan Harrison.”

  A beautiful chuckle met my ears. He looked down at me beaming back, gently tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “Same to you, Pretty Girl.”

  When we finally parted, driving off our separate ways, there was only one question on my mind. When could I see him again?

  The entire weekend passed by in an excruciatingly slow manner. It became almost unbearable to keep my eyes off my phone. Officially becoming friends with Stefan felt…right. I knew there were technicalities with telling my friends, brother, mother and of course, Richard. These were conversations in my future but right now, I didn’t care. I felt a change in the winds of my life and I knew that despite the obstacles that faced my future—it was worth it. Now, I just had to figure out how to make the transition from acting as though he never existed, to being genuine friends.

  It was a constant internal struggle of wanting to keep enough space, and almost aching to contact him. After Richard got off work he spent the weekend at home with me. I filled him in on the bridal shopping trip; he happily pictured the plans that grew into what would be a glorious day. I was too…for the most part. It just didn’t feel as if all the confusion in the air had completely cleared. There were things I had to work out first in my mind. Everything would be fine by the time we were meant to say our vows. Until then, there were a few things I had to focus on first. The most immediate thing that seized every train of thought was Stefan, and where our friendship was headed now.

  Spending time with my fiancé was always enjoyable, but every thirty seconds my eyes would dart to my phone, constantly checking for new messages. Sunday night it had been almost unbearable trying to close my eyes and fall asleep. It was like I was back in high school all over. My body was amped with the prospect of seeing Stefan the next day. It had been understandable at that time but now, it was just frustrating. There was no guarantee that I would see or hear from Stefan. It wasn’t as if we planned anything and quite honestly, we hadn’t spoken since we left each other on Friday. There was only intuition churning in the pit of my stomach. Making me believe something more was going to happen.

  Monday morning I pulled into the parking lot the same time Kari. Immediately I registered her confusion as she was scheduled to open the salon—not me. Getting out of her car she leaned back against the door, shifting her eyes from me to the salon.

  “Is everything okay?”

  I smiled. “Of course there is! Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

  Her eyebrow rose as she assessed my ridiculous level of bubbling excitement. “It is 8:45, the salon isn’t even open yet and you typically don’t show up before 10:00, unless there is some serious problem.”

  I shrugged my shoulders, handing her the cup of coffee I picked up on my way over. “Everything’s fine, I got us coffee!”

  Hesitantly she reached out and took the cup. Never letting her eyes leave me. “Ready to do some hair today?!” I burst out, unable to remain silent as she tried to figure out what was wrong.

  “Are you high?” She finally asked.

  “What??” I laughed out, but from the look on her face I could see she was totally serious. “Of course I’m not high!”

  “Did Richard recently give you a prescription for anything? Switch your coffee for a new brand or something?”

  “Absolutely not, Kari! What are you even talking about??”

  “Well, okay, lately you’ve been a bit of a blob. Even your good days are still a little…off. Now, you’re here to open the salon with me, and you’re not due in for at least two more hours. Not to mention, I can hardly keep my eyes open, and yours look like they can’t close.”

  Like a sarcastic teenager I shut my eyes, holding them there for a few seconds before opening them again. “See, they close.”

  “Yeah, that really made me completely change my mind.” She deadpanned, as we made our way into the salon.

  “Whatever, I’m just in a good mood, is that so wrong?”

  She sighed and looked me over once more. “No, I’m sorry. I guess I’m just so used to seeing my sad friend. I’m happy you’re like this. Plus, now I can sink into my chair and let your hyper ass do the opening duties so I can sleep for a little longer.”

  “You got a deal.” I laughed, loving the way our morning was starting off with a spark that hadn’t been there for a very long time.

  The morning hours sluggishly ticked by, but my never constant buzz of energy made it bearable. Kacie and Tyler made cracks at me similar to those of Kari. While the other stylists just watched me like I was about to explode. The clients seemed to enjoy the charismatic energy between all of us, and that was all that mattered. As lunch time approached my stomach reminded me—loudly—that it was time to eat. Just as I was about to step away for my break, a call came in.

  “Grey, there is someone on the phone for you at reception.” Eloise crossed the salon to catch me before I entered the break room.

  “Oh, thanks, I’m coming.”

  After greeting the client sitting in the waiting area, I picked up the phone. “Thank you for holding, this is Grey.”

  “This is Stefan.” I heard the teasing in his voice. I had no control over the rather large smile that spread from ear-to-ear.

  “Hey you! What, um…what’s up?” My already buzzing system spiked and now my bones were practically shaking with the jitters.

  “Well, I was wondering if my new friend would like to join me for lunch today.”

  “Oh…” I wasn’t able to get another word out before Stefan piped up again.

  “Before you say no! What if I tell you that not only do you not have to go anywhere for it, but I got your favorite?”

  I bit down on my lip to contain my ever-growing smile, twisting my body so my back was all people saw of me.

  “Oh yeah? And what exactly do you have planned?”

  “Well, I just might be sitting in the salon parking lot.”

  I whipped my body around and gawked out the front door. Even though the parking lot was at the side of the building, it didn’t stop me from casing the view in front of me.

  “Are you seriously?”

  “Maybe. If you think it’s super weird and slightly stalkerish, then no. I’m not. However, if you were hungry and wanted to join me, then yes.”

  This time it was impossible to hold in the laugh bubbling deep in my chest.

  “I’m starving!”

  “Then get your ass out here, pretty girl! Our food’s getting cold!” It was almost insane the way my entire body lit up with elation.

  “On my way!” I slammed the phone down onto the receiver. I hadn’t even noticed Kacie’s sudden presence at the side of the desk.

  “Who was…”

  I couldn’t even let her finish before I interrupted. “Taking my lunch! I’ll be back!”

  Her mouth hung open, as I dashed from the building. Almost instantly I spotted his sleek black car in the far back corner. Before I reached the door he slipped out, and for just a moment we stood there, grinning like idiots.at each other.

  “Hi.” He said with a smile.

  “Hi,” I replied. I swallowed back the overpowering f
eel of heart beating at the back of my throat.

  “I have the take out boxes in my car. Do you want to just eat in there?”

  “Is eating allowed in your very shiny, clean car?”

  He smirked. “Never, but you’re always the exception.”

  My cheeks flushed, as if I was nothing more than that shy schoolgirl all over again. “I’m so honored.”

  Stefan winked, motioning to the car to help us transition from standing awkwardly, to sitting. I was an absolute mess of nerves. I didn’t know what to say, how to act, or what to do. Things with the two of us had always been so easy and uncomplicated. Right from that first day together we had been drawn to each other, and there was never a point trying to fight that fact. We did everything together and only felt situations to be unnerving when we weren’t side-by-side.

  Things were different. Fighting our friendship had been a fruitless task. Now though, we were faced with the issue of how were we supposed to interact. We had always belonged to the other. We would have had a moment of goofing around, and it would lead to our hands all over the other. Seeing Stefan without Richard even knowing about his place in my life was wrong. I was determined to insure no more lines were crossed.

  Thankfully, Stefan was the first to take over the conversation. “So, I had a couple mac attack’s delivered to my work, and I made sure they included extra sour cream.”

  My rumbling stomach was about to jump through my body and devour the burger on its own if I didn’t eat it soon.

  “It smells incredible, but you know this isn’t going to be an easy smell to rid from the car, right?”

  Stefan shrugged dismissively. “I don’t care, it is so worth it.”

  Grabbing the first to-go box he set it onto my lap, opened it, revealing the mouth-watering creation of a sandwich. As delicious as it looked, nothing could tear my attention away from the brief, accidental touches Stefan made on my legs. It didn’t seem intentional but it set a fire surging through my entire body. Focusing on the food and not that feeling was exceptionally more difficult than I ever would have figured.

  I wasted no time diving into my burger. Not only was I ravenous, but I needed to refrain from saying something downright embarrassing. Even as I ate, my eyes became affixed upon Stefan. Watching him set up his food, pick off the tomato; muttering something about how they never remember to take it off. Even as he took a bite and began chewing, I ogled. His Adam’s apple bobbed, causing my tongue to slide out, wetting my lips. I couldn’t explain the twisting sensations deep in my body but I knew without question they were there.

  That was when I knew I had to tear my eyes away, letting the soft sounds of Stefan’s XM radio saturate the silence. For just a few moments Stefan shut his eyes and bobbed his head to the music. I would never understand why everything this man did could put me into a trance. Yet, I would always have a constant draw to him. For all time I knew there would be this reaction whenever he was near.

  When his eyelids fluttered open immediately his piercing sapphire eyes found me and an infectious grin flourished.

  “I’m glad we’re here.” He said, breaking the silence.

  My smile mimicked his as I nodded. “So am I.”

  That compelling look upon his face made his spectacular ever-changing eyes shine, as he looked towards the roof of the car. It was such a simple action but there was something so remarkably beautiful about it. My memories were composed of hundreds of little bits just like this one. There was so much to the depths of Stefan’s soul. I had always and would forever believe those few fleeting moments of a smile, a twinkle, or a private smirk were my private glimpse into it. It sounded strange, never the less, I added that smile to my collection to remember forevermore.

  I needed to take the focus in my mind off of all that made him the man I fell in love with.

  “You said these were delivered to you? Last time I checked, they didn’t offer a delivery service.” Stefan glanced my way with a sly smirk increasing.

  “It was, and no, they don’t.”

  “Did you have someone pick it up for you?”

  Looking down at his food he let out a laugh. “I suppose that would have made sense, but no.”

  I eyed him skeptically, trying to hide my amusement at his extravagant tactics. “Care to enlighten me on how we are eating these now then?”

  “Originally, I planned to pick them up on my own. As soon I stepped into the goddamn doors of the building this morning I was swarmed. New business meetings were set up without my knowledge and no one else takes the new client meetings. I personally want to be responsible for selling my security plans to the large businesses. At one point I stepped away for a minute, called them up and asked if they would deliver to me. They arrived just as I was ready to get away.”

  “Something tells me it takes a little more than just asking nicely to get them to deliver.”

  A wickedly charming grin lit up those impeccable features. “Maybe just a bit more. Of course, it is only polite if I introduce myself.”

  I nodded. “Using that name to get your way, is that it, Mr. Harrison?”

  He chewed another bite that did a poor job of hiding his enjoyment. “Quite possibly. Oh, and money always helps sweeten the deal.”

  My head shook with a laugh. “Just as I suspected. Your money may have helped but it was that Stefan charm that sealed the deal.”

  “Do you think I’m charming, Greyson Rose?” The sweetly ignorant expression on his face made me roll my eyes and give a swift slap on his arm.

  “Hardly.” I lied, feeling the weight of his intensifying gaze. “I can see past all that money, Stefan.”

  “Trust me, pretty girl, I know. When we met you knew about my family’s money and you never once asked for anything. You happily stayed by my side spending all our time together. You were more focused on me than what I could do for you.”

  My amusement slipped away as my heart softened. Stefan used to hate the restrictions and responsibility that came with a family that had money. He had spent a majority of his life running away from everything that came with that lifestyle. When we found each other, I never cared about that. All I wanted was him to be with me. Besides, his love made me happier than any amount of money ever could.

  Gently my hand reached over, trailing my fingertips along the side of his cheek, our eyes never faltered from the other.

  “Of course I did. You weren’t in my life because of what was in your bank. You became a part of my heart because of what was in yours.”

  He shook his head slowly as I pulled my fingers away. “I have never met anyone else like you, Greyson Rose. You will always be the only person who knows the real me.”

  My heart twisted. I quickly averted my eyes from his as the moment heated the air around us. “It’s only because you haven’t let anyone else in, Stef.”

  From the corner of my eye his head shook. “No, because no one else has ever cared to see more than you did. You have been the only person to bring out every truth of who I am. The good, the bad, you saw it all. It’s like I can’t find myself until you are near. There’s a light in you that makes me see the man I want to be.”

  “Do.” I whispered, feeling myself shift fractionally closer.

  “Do, what?” He asked, moving in a little more.

  I gulped back my nerves. “Well, you said, no one else cares to see more than I did. Present tense, I do care, Stefan.”

  “Do you?” The hopefully vulnerable look in those deep blue’s struck a chord in my soul.

  “Always, Stefan.”

  “That, to me, is worth more than any amount of money in this entire world.”

  “Why?” I never understood the reason Stefan loved me back. Even to this day, I was lost. He had the world at his feet, a beautiful heart, a refreshing view on life and a smile that made you melt. And I was just…me. There was nothing special about who I was or where I came from. Yet, here was this incredibly fascinating man devoting all his time to me.

  “
Do you still not get it, Grey?”

  I shrugged, moving slightly to block my oncoming vulnerable expression from his view. “I guess not.”

  Taking my chin in his hand, Stefan turned my focus back to him. “You are the only one who has ever made me feel worthy of this life. Trying to have a purpose without you has been excruciating. When I saw you on that sidewalk and got out of my car to see if that was real—it changed everything. It was like you woke me from the nightmares of my mundane existence. Money will never be worth feeling. Money could never buy all that your love gives.”

  “You said you planned to bring lunch before getting to work this morning, why?” It was off topic but even with our breath tangling together, I had to know.

  “I actually made the plan as soon as you got into your car on Friday. Bringing your favorite food was my way of insuring you wouldn’t turn me away.”

  “I wouldn’t have.” I assured.

  “Is it wrong to say I have missed you all weekend?”

  My head shook, as his lips moved infinitesimally closer. “Yes, but I have missed you too.”

  Our lips were only a heartbeat away from touching when a knock at my window made me jump back. A few waffle fries hit the floor, and Stefan laughed as I looked into the face of Kari and Tyler. They stared at me like parents catching their young daughter with her crush. I wanted to immediately start apologizing and explaining why we were so close together. In all honesty, I had nothing. Explaining the lunch aspect would be manageable, but I wouldn’t be able to rationalize the reason my heart beat rapidly. Or why I was struggling to move away from him.

  After a second of fumbling around with the thousand or so buttons on my door, I rolled down the window. Without hesitating they leaned down and popped their head into the car.

  “Whatcha doing?” Tyler asked, not even attempting to wipe away his smirk.

  “We were eating lunch. He brought food, and we were eating.” I rambled out.

  “Is this a random he, or do you at least know him so we don’t have to cover stranger danger again?”