by E. L. Todd
“You don’t have to worry about that.”
“I’m sure I don’t,” Blaise said sadly.
“Keep your eye on her,” Paul said. “I’m counting on you.”
“I’d rather slit my own throat than let Alexandra experience any pain.”
Paul laughed. “Then you would have died months ago.” He hung up.
Blaise clenched the phone in his hand before he got out of bed. He changed then grabbed his keys, heading to the front door. Quietly, he locked the door behind him then descended the steps of the porch.
“Blaise?”
He stopped then turned around. “Alex?”
She was sitting in the rocking chair, just wearing a long shirt. Her knees were pulled to her chest, hiding her body from view. “What are you doing?”
The conversation with Paul came back to him. “None of your damn business.”
She rose to her feet, her thighs showing. Her hair was curved around her face and her shoulders. The shirt was too big, so one side hung off her shoulder. Blaise stared at her body hungrily, immediately drawn to the beautiful sight. Her face was free of makeup, just the way he liked. Her lips were slightly open, surprised to see him on his front porch in the middle of the night. Blaise forced himself not to look at her, to stare at the fields instead.
“You better not be going to Gabe’s.” She stopped in front of him, her eyes wide with fear.
“I’m not,” he whispered.
“Look at me.”
“No.”
“Blaise.”
He sighed then shifted his gaze to her face.
“Are you going to Gabe’s?”
“I said no.”
“Then where are you going?”
“For a drink,” he said simply.
“At three in morning?” she asked incredulously.
“You’re not my girlfriend so I don’t have to explain shit to you.” His voice carried all the resentment and bitterness he felt. He lashed out at her with his words, hating her for making him feel this way.
She hugged her waist. “I’m just worried about you.”
“Well, don’t be.”
“How can I not?”
He stepped away. “Just leave me the fuck alone, Alex.”
“Stop calling me that!”
He stopped and turned to her. “Well, if you want me to call you Alexandra, you know what you need to do.”
“Or you could have just been faithful to me and we wouldn’t have to worry about it at all.”
Blaise gripped his skull. “I’m not doing this again. We’re done. I accept that. Let’s move on.”
Her eyes darkened in sadness and she turned back to the chair. When she sat down, she pulled the shirt over her knees, hiding her legs from view. Blaise stared at her before be came back to her.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Why?” She looked straight ahead.
“This is just hard for me. I don’t think I’m handling it very well.”
“Neither am I…”
Blaise put his hands in pockets and stood beside her. The crickets sang into the night, carrying their song on the wind. Alexandra continued to look far into the distance. Blaise sighed then took the seat beside her.
“You know what I miss the most?” He stared at his hands, unable to look at her beautiful face.
“What?” she whispered.
“The friendship we had. We used to tell each other everything.”
She nodded. “I miss it too.”
“I never told anyone I wanted to be a lawyer before.”
“Do you still want to be one?”
He shrugged. “I do, but I know it will never happen. I have too many responsibilities here.”
“I’m sorry.”
He nodded. “Have you thought any more about being a doctor?”
She shook her head. “I don’t think I’m cut out for that.”
“Alex…”
“I’m not.”
“It’s incredibly sad to see the waste of such amazing potential. You could be making the world a better place, but instead you are sitting on my porch in Georgia, letting time pass you by.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“I’m tired of hearing your excuses,” he said simply. “Do what you want. I’ve done everything I can to convince you otherwise.”
Alexandra leaned back in the chair and held herself tighter.
Blaise glanced at her then pulled off his hoodie. He placed it on her knees, giving her extra warmth.
She touched it with her fingers, feeling the fabric. “It smells like you.”
“I hope it smells good.”
Alexandra held it to her face and took a deep breath. “It does.”
He smiled then looked away. “Alex, I would really love it if we could—be friends. Maybe.”
She nodded. “I would too.”
“I’d prefer just to push you away but you make that impossible.”
Alexandra smirked. “I know I’m annoying.”
Blaise chuckled. “You’re extremely annoying.”
She hit him lightly on the shoulder. “You are annoying too.”
“Not nearly in the same way.”
Alexandra held the sweater but still shivered. Blaise caught the movement then walked into the house. He grabbed a blanket from the couch then tightened it around her. When she sighed happily, he knew she was pleased.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Are you cold?” she asked.
“I wouldn’t have given you my sweater if I were.”
“Yes you would have,” she said simply.
Blaise knew she was right. “Why are you out here?”
She shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep. Why are you out here?”
“The same reason.”
“We are both insomniacs.”
“We were never have that way when we were together,” Blaise said.
Alexandra smiled. “I miss sleeping at the creek.”
He sighed. “I do too.” He leaned back.
“So, are you serious with that girl?” she asked hesitantly.
“What girl?” he asked.
“The girl you went on a date with.”
“Oh.” Blaise forgot about her. “No, not really.”
Alexandra nodded.
“Are you happy with Paul?”
“Yeah…”
“Why do I not believe you?”
Alexandra pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. “I am happy with him. He’s a very sweet and wonderful guy. I’m very lucky I have someone to love me in the way he does.”
Blaise couldn’t disagree more but he held his tongue. There was no point in repeating himself over and over.
“But, it’s been hard…”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I still think about you…I can’t get you out of my head. And it kills me how much I hurt Paul.”
Blaise was secretly happy with the confession, but he didn’t show it. “I can’t stop thinking about you either. Just knowing you are down the hall makes me toss and turn.”
Alexandra didn’t respond to his comment.
“Have you slept with him?”
The silence stretched for a long time. The sound of the wind became louder since no words were spoken. After a minute passed, Blaise assumed she wasn’t going to answer.
“No.”
Blaise didn’t react to the announcement, but his heart relaxed at the revelation. He was relieved to know he was her last. That she hadn’t just moved on from him as quickly as he thought. There were many things he wanted to say, to win her back, but he didn’t bother. The harder he tried, the more he pushed her away.
“Have you slept with anyone?” she asked.
“No, Alex. And I won’t for a long time.”
She shifted in her seat.
“It’s sad,” he said quietly. “That two people love each other as much as we go, but we can’t make
it work.” He stared at the floorboards below his feet. His heart thudded in his ears.
Alexandra sniffed then rose from her chair.
Blaise didn’t need to look at her to know she was crying. She went into the house then closed the door behind her, leaving Blaise alone with his suffocating thoughts.
Chapter Nineteen
Blaise was awake early the next morning. He hadn’t slept much the night before because of the conversation he had with Alexandra. But since he couldn’t even close his eyes, he stayed awake the entire time. He couldn’t remember the last peaceful night he had.
After he worked out in his garage, there was a knock on the door. Blaise sighed before he answered it. He didn’t need any more drama on his plate, so he hoped he didn’t despise the person on the other side of the door.
When he opened it, Danielle and Cole were on the porch. Blaise stared at Danielle for a long time, trying to figure out if she was real. “Danielle?”
She held her hands together and nodded. “Can I speak to Alexandra for a moment?”
His eyes narrowed. “Why. What’s going on?”
Danielle glanced at Cole then turned back to Blaise. “I want to tell her the truth—everything.”
Blaise felt his heart explode. “Really?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Why?” he blurted. “What changed your mind?”
Danielle turned to Cole. “Your brother was pretty convincing.”
Blaise turned his gaze to his brother. “What? What did you do?”
“He offered to give me his half of the business,” she said simply.
Blaise felt the surprise wash over him. He blinked a few times before he collected himself. “You did that?”
Cole nodded. “You’re welcome,” he said with a smile.
“But I didn’t take it,” Danielle said quickly. “If Cole went through all that trouble, then you really must be miserable.”
“You couldn’t tell on your own?” Blaise snapped.
Danielle averted her gaze.
“So, is Alex around?” Cole asked.
Blaise grabbed the door and felt his heart flutter. He was finally going to get her back, the only woman he ever loved. The moment was too good to be true. He’d finally have her in his arms again. She’d give him that look he loved, the face of pure adoration. She’d be in his bed tonight, her legs wrapped around his. He marched to her door without another word.
“Alexandra, get up.” He pounded on the door.
A moment later, she answered it. Her hair was a mess but she never looked more beautiful. “What did you just call me?”
Blaise grabbed her arm and pulled her from the room. “Someone is here to see you.”
“What?” She tried to fix her hair. “Who?”
Blaise pulled her to the couch and sat her down. “Just listen.”
Danielle walked into the living room then sat across from Alexandra. She rested her hands in her lap and kept her gaze down. Alexandra stared at her, her eyes wide.
“What’s going on?” Alexandra asked.
“Danielle needs to tell you something.” Blaise turned to Danielle. “We’re listening.”
Danielle took a deep breath. “Everything Blaise said was true. There was never anything between us when you were together, not even before you met. I just wanted him all to myself and hoped we would get back together. But he’s clearly obsessed with you.” She rubbed her palms together. “The truth is, Blaise is a wonderful and faithful man. You never have to worry about anything, Alex. You are a very lucky woman.”
Alexandra’s face was pale. “You never…you know?”
“Not when you were together,” Danielle said. “Blaise was just trying to protect me from Evan. Nothing more.”
Alexandra tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
Blaise watched her face, studying every expression. It was clear she was torn and stressed. He waited for her to speak but nothing came out. “Alexandra, I’ve always been yours.”
She stared at her hands.
Cole stepped toward Danielle and touched her on the shoulder. “Let’s give them a moment,” he whispered. He led her outside. After the door was shut, Blaise sat beside her on the couch. Alexandra was still quiet.
Blaise looked into her face. Her lips were slightly open, and her breathing was deeper than it normally was. Now that the truth was out, Blaise was eager to feel her against him. He was tired of the distance, the walls she projected. Impatient, he grabbed her face and kissed her.
Alexandra was still for a moment. Her lips didn’t reciprocate the desperate affection he gave to her. When his hands moved into her hair then cupped her cheeks, her lips moved against him. Blaise laid her down on the couch and crawled on top of her.
Her nails moved down his back, pulling him closer to her. Her legs wrapped around his waist, making him as close as possible. Her need for him suddenly exploded, and she moaned into his mouth. “Blaise,” she said between kisses.
Blaise felt his heart thaw from the artic ice that clenched it so tightly these past few months. The tension in his shoulders finally relaxed, and the unbridled bliss finally returned. He kissed her more passionately than he ever had. Every feeling he had was transmitted to her through his kiss. Martha could come down the hallway any moment, but he didn’t care. He needed her now. He unbuttoned her jeans then pulled them down.
Alexandra broke their kiss then pulled away. “Stop.”
Blaise froze. She probably wanted to break up with Paul before they became physical. While that annoyed him, he respected her wish. It was the right thing to do. He pulled his hand away.
Alexandra pulled her jeans back on then covered her face. It was clear she felt guilty for what just happened.
“It’s okay, Alexandra,” Blaise said. “Just be honest with him. He’ll understand.”
She sighed. “I’m a horrible fucking person.”
“No, you aren’t.” He stood up then wrapped his arms around her. “You’re in love with me. It’s always been me. And now that you know the truth, you need to be with me. He’ll accept it.”
She stepped away. “I made a commitment to Paul.”
“Alexandra, I know. But he wants you to be happy. It’s okay to be happy.”
She ran her fingers through her hair and paced around the room. “I love Paul. We are supposed to move in together.”
Blaise sighed. “Just talk to him. I can wait until you break up with him.”
She shook her head. “Blaise, I can’t break up with him.”
He felt his heart fall. “What?”
“I already made a commitment to him. I—I can’t just leave him for you. After everything he’s done for me, it would be so cold.”
“You’re kidding me, right?” He stared her down. “Don’t be with someone because you feel obligated to, Alexandra. Choose the man you want forever. That’s me—clearly.”
“Blaise…it’s been months. Things have changed.”
“I realize that,” he snapped. “But we haven’t changed. We still love each other as much as we did before. In fact, I think we care for one another even more. So don’t stay with him. The fucker cheated on you. I never did. Nor will I ever.”
Alexandra placed her hands on her hips. “I’m so confused…”
Blaise knew he had to be gentle with her. If he pushed her too hard, she would just break. “I know you love Paul. And that’s okay. It’s normal not to forget your first love. But that relationship you knew is gone. You’ve both done things you can’t take back. But I’m still here, Alexandra. I’m still the same man you fell in love with. Pick me.”
She sniffed. “It’s not that simple.”
“I think it is.”
She hugged her waist then shook her head.
Blaise felt the irritation surface. “Look, I’m the man you want. We only broke up because you thought I was lying to you. But I’ve proved my innocence and cleared my name. Let’s go back to what we were.”
“
Paul is expecting me to come back.”
He sighed. “You can’t seriously consider staying with him.” He felt the anger come out. “I’ve worked so fucking hard to prove how much I love you. I’ve done everything. You better pick me.”
“I love him.”
“And you love me,” he said firmly. “Who do you love more?”
“There is no comparison,” she said with a sigh.
“Alexandra, why haven’t you slept with him?”
She hid her face.
“Answer me.”
Alexandra walked toward the door.
“Answer me!”
She grabbed her keys then left out the front door. Blaise chased after her and stopped her before she got into her truck.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“I need my space.” Tears fell down her face. She wiped them away but more emerged from under her eyes.
He grabbed her arm and pinned her to the truck. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”
“You don’t understand,” she said through her tears.
“No, I understand perfectly.” He released her. “I’m done, Alexandra. I’m serious. I’ve wasted all this damn time because I thought you were the love of my life. Now I realize you’re just a pathetic coward. You never had any faith in me when you should have, you’ve never given me the benefit of the doubt, and you made love to me under the stars and told me I was the only one for you. But now it doesn’t mean anything. I was just your escape from your real life. You run away from all your problems and have other people pick up the pieces. But as soon as you’re better, you abandon them. Well, I’m not going to be one of those people.” He backed away, his fists clenching by his sides. “I was stupid for ever loving you. From now on, I don’t.” He looked at her one last time before he marched into the house. When he slammed the front door, he busted the handle. But Blaise was too pissed to care.
Chapter Twenty
Blaise paced in his living room, his veins pumping with adrenaline. He wanted to demolish his own home just so he had to something to break. He marched back and forth then collapsed on the couch, his patience and resilience completely gone.