Katie: What did you do?
Katie: You better be sure you know what you’re doing.
Katie: Tyler! Don’t be a shit. CALL ME!!!
Katie: OK I’m worried now. Are you ok?
Katie: ???
Tyler sighed heavily. He should have known Katie would be worried but she knew where he was. At least which country he was in. But it was the message from his mother that shook him.
Marie: Tyler Andrews. Don’t you dare ignore your mother. Where are you? Katie says you’re not returning her messages.
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Tyler snorted as he scrambled off the sofa and grabbed himself a bottle of water. He didn’t want to call his mother. If anything it was the last thing he wanted to do. But Tyler wasn’t a complete moron. He knew the longer he avoided the inevitable, the harsher the repercussions would be.
Reluctantly Tyler scrolled through his phone until he found her contact and waited for the call to connect.
“Don’t pick up! Don’t pick up! Don’t…”
“Tyler?” a soft, squeaky voice asked.
“Shit! Hi Mum.”
“Do you know what time it is?”
“Shit! I didn’t look at the time difference. Sorry. Did you want me to call back later?”
“No, not at all. Just give me a second.” Tyler could hear shuffling and stumbling in the back ground and could only picture his mother sliding from her bed, stuffing her feet into her slippers, and sneaking out of the bedroom. “Okay, I’m right now. Where are you? Katie said something about Switzerland, but that’s pretty broad.”
“Yeah, I’m in Switzerland training, but I’ll be home in two weeks.”
“Good. I expect a visit.”
“Yes, Mum.”
“How’s training going?”
“Good! Times are back to where they’re supposed to be, so that’s progress, I guess.”
“Anything else you need to tell me?”
Taking a deep breath, Tyler shrugged, thankful his mother couldn’t see him. He might be able to lie over the phone but Tyler knew the moment she saw the torment in his eyes she’d be able to read him like an open book. “No, not that I can think of.”
“Last chance, Tyler. Are you sure?”
He could hear the annoyance in his mother’s tone. His mind was spinning. What had she heard that he was supposed to confirm? Making a mental note to kill Katie later, Tyler steadied himself. “I got my test results.”
“And?”
“It was mumps. They said I’m fine now and I should be back to normal in a few weeks. Just got to work the virus out of my system.”
“That’s good to hear. No long lasting side affects?”
“Not that we know of.”
“And Ava?”
“Ava?”
“Tyler, don’t play dumb. I raised you better than that. I know, okay? Katie told me everything, so don’t bother trying to make up an excuse, because you and I both know you don’t have one. Well, not one good enough. You were an idiot, Tyler, and that girl deserves better.”
Frustration got the better of him. Everything that he’d been running away from, all those words he didn’t want to hear, his mother had just unloaded on him. “Of course she deserves better, don’t you think I know that? That’s why I left. She deserves the life she dreamed of. One with kids. The kids she wants. The ones I can’t give her.”
“Tyler…” he heard his mother’s voice crack
“Don’t, Mum. Please…just don’t.”
“Okay, Tyler. I’ll leave it. For now. But you need to come home. And soon. Then we’ll figure it out.”
There was utter desolation on his face and defeat in his tone and Tyler couldn’t even be bothered to hide it. “Okay, Mum. We’ll talk when I get home. Thanks, Mum. I’ll let you go and get some sleep. Love you.”
“You too, sweetheart. It’ll be all right,” she promised before hanging up.
Ending the call, Tyler dropped the phone on the sofa only seconds before the tears came like a torrent. He’d never considered having kids before. Maybe in the abstract, but he’d never really gave it much thought, but now the option had been taken away from him, Tyler couldn’t think of anything else. One stupid virus could have possibly ruined his future. A future he may have lost anyway because he was a dumbass.
Feeling completely wasted from his emotional outburst, Tyler shot off a text he shouldn’t have before slinking into the oversized, lonely bed.
Tyler: I miss you.
Chapter 24
Ava
It was the middle of the night when her phone chirped, startling her from dreams. Groping around blindly, Ava grabbed at it and tried to read the message through half-closed lids. After three attempts, she tried to place it back on the night stand, but missed by inches, sending it clattering to the floor. Unable to summon up the energy to care, Ava rolled over with a groan and fell back into a deep sleep.
The morning came all too soon. When the alarm blasted, it was time for Ava to drag her weary body from the warmth of her bed and face the day. Yawning loudly, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and shivered. With her eyes still closed, Ava stumbled into the bathroom and stepped under the scalding hot water. After washing her hair, shaving her legs, and cleaning her teeth, Ava felt slightly human. Properly human wouldn’t come for at least another hour or two after the much needed caffeine infiltrated her system.
After dressing quickly and locking the door, Ava headed into the office. The sun was starting to rise as she crossed the bridge when the thought hit her. Swerving into the breakdown lane, Ava killed the ignition and up ended her handbag on the passenger seat.
“Where the fuck is it?” she growled as she sifted through the contents. She carried everything for every situation in there, but there was one thing missing today. The one thing she needed more than anything else. Her phone. Racking her brain, Ava tried to remember where she’d last had it. For two days it’d sat right next to her computer, taunting her. The silence was a killer. Somewhere around hour eighteen she’d given up hoping for a call or message.
“Fuck me!” Ava screeched as realisation set in.
Then it came back to her. The beep in the middle of the night. Tyler’s name on her screen. With trembling fingers, Ava grabbed hold of the steering wheel, needing its stability to ground her. Taking deep breaths, Ava counted to five before exhaling again. Staring down at her fingernails, she was embarrassed by what she saw. After two days of nonstop writing, Ava had managed to chew her nails down to the skin, with one or two fingers having been traumatised even further. Fighting the compulsion to spin her Jeep around and go get it, Ava gave herself a pep talk before rejoining the traffic and heading to the office.
It was by far the biggest mistake Ava had ever made, thinking that she could concentrate on the mountain of work stacked in her in tray, when all she could think about was her lonely phone at home. And it’s unread message. It was barely lunchtime and she’d already vagued out in two meetings requiring people to repeat themselves before she could offer any kind of contribution and even then it was a pretty pathetic effort.
“Ava!” the deep voice interrupted her blank, mindless staring at the spreadsheet on her screen. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Su-sure, Matthew,” Ava conceded, feeling like a naughty child. She’d been caught out. Besides the lack of work, the day dreaming, and if she actually managed to accomplish anything the abundance of errors that littered it, Ava knew this wasn’t going to be a friendly chat.
Attempting to pull herself together, Ava slipped her feet back into her hooker red heels and followed Matthew into his office. The moment the office door clicked shut, Ava’s heart sank.
Matthew slipped into his high back leather chair, folded his hands on the desk between them, and eyeballed her. “So, Ava. Want to tell me what’s going on?”
“So-sorry? I’m not sure what you mean?”
“Come on, Ava. You know me. And I know you. And I know something’s g
oing on. Something’s got you distracted. Not just today, but for the last week or so. Pretty much since you got back from Sydney. So, spill. What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Ava lied. She didn’t need Matthew or anybody to know that the life she’d always dreamed about, the life she’d had her hands on was now falling apart around her and she was completely powerless to stop it.
“Ava, come on. Things were weird last week but today, well, honestly, is there any point you being here?”
“I work here!” Ava snapped defensively as she squared her shoulders and dug her fingers into the arm of the chair.
“Calm down. Calm down! No one’s saying you don’t. What I am wondering is what’s going on with you that’s got you so tied up in knots that you can’t see straight? I can’t help if I don’t know,” Matthew conceded.
Ava glanced up at him and saw the concern written all over his face. He was genuinely worried. His lips were fixed in a straight line, while the wrinkles were deep over his bushy eyebrows. But Ava didn’t have to look at Matthew to know he cared. He showed it every day. Usually Ava wasn’t one of those who needed his support, but right now, in that moment, Ava felt ready to collapse. It made that knowledge easier knowing that without a doubt Matthew would catch her.
“Talk to me,” he encouraged.
Biting her lip, Ava looked everywhere but at him. Out the window at the cars racing through the intersection recklessly. At the ugly blue carpet beneath her feet. At the certificates lining the walls. At the piece of stray hair on her navy skirt. Anywhere but Matthew’s intimidating eyes. Ava knew the moment she locked her gaze with his, she’d crumble. Right now it was taking everything she had not to do that. Ava was clinging for dear life to keep it together.
“It’s nothing, really. I’m just tired. I stayed up too late writing.” It wasn’t all a lie. She had stayed up until the early hours of the morning lost in James and Anna’s magical world.
“Are you sure that’s all it is? ‘Cause I’ve seen you in writing mode and you’re never this distracted. Tired and grumpy, yes, but usually as long as we keep the coffee and chocolates coming, you’re fine. But right now you’re missing things. You’re completely out of it.”
“I can do better. I will do better. I’ll sleep tonight and all will be good tomorrow. Promise.”
As soon as the word slipped from Ava’s mouth she hoped it was something she could follow through with. Right now she wasn’t entirely convinced. She wasn’t sure about anything at the moment.
“If you’re sure…”
“I am.”
“Well then. Why don’t you take the afternoon off, I owe you time anyway. You can go home, have a nap, get a couple of hours’ writing done, go to bed at a reasonable time, and come back refreshed tomorrow?”
“Thanks, but I’ve got a million things to do…”
“Probably. But you’re no use to anyone while you’re the zombie version of Ava. Go. Sleep. See you tomorrow.”
“You sure?”
“Positive. Out! Now!”
Ava wobbled to her feet. High heels were not her friend on a normal day, so today they were barely working. Pulling the heavy glass door open, Ava stepped through, catching her shoulder on the metal frame. “Shit!” she swore as she tore a hole in the shoulder of her cream silk blouse.
“You okay?”
“Fine.”
“Get some sleep.”
“Thanks, Matthew. And I don’t just mean for this, but you know…for everything.”
It took her barely five minutes to power down her computer, stuff all the papers into a messy pile in her in tray, and grab her bag. Even though she’d never admit it to Matthew or anyone else, she was desperate to get home. A nap sounded like heaven. But first things first. First, Ava had to find her phone and see if she was dreaming. Had she really gotten a text in the middle of the night from Tyler or was that just her overactive imagination willing a message to be there?
Taking the steps two at a time, Ava was breathless by the time she reached her door, but it didn’t slow her. Forcing the key in the lock, she didn’t even seem to care if it bent or broke. All that mattered was getting inside. Stepping inside, Ava kicked off her heels as she hurried towards her bedroom, dropping her bag in the hall with a thud as she went. Nothing mattered right now. Nothing but locating her damn phone.
With her stocking feet Ava slid across the floor and sunk to her knees her hands groping about everywhere searching for the elusive phone. As soon as her fingers touched the cool cover, Ava exhaled heavily. Yanking it out from its hiding place beneath the bed, it came with a layer of dust and stray hair wrapped around it like a vine.
“Yuk!” Ava exclaimed as she brushed away the dirt before flipping it over to reveal a cracked screen. Still useable. Readable. And that was all that mattered.
With her fingers wavering and her mind screaming Don’t do it! Ava clicked open the message app and there is was. A message from Tyler. In the middle of the night. Glaring back at her. Taunting her. Ava managed to find her feet and scramble onto her unmade bed.
Curling herself into the middle of her bed, Ava hunkered down amongst the hundred and one throw pillows and pulled the comforter up tight under her chin. For some reason she felt like she’d just been kicked in the stomach and needed a hug. And not just any hug, the type of hug her mother used to give her. The warm, comforting embrace of unconditional love. Wiping an errant tear away, Ava read and reread the message.
For a long time Ava simply just stared at her phone. Three little words had upended her life and sent her careening on a downward spiral of despair. Tyler had walked away. Granted, Ava was clueless as to why, but he’d done it. He’d made the decision to leave and Ava had been left alone to pick up the pieces of her broken heart. The more the thoughts taunted her, the heavier her head felt. It didn’t take long before Ava’s eyes fell shut.
Hours later, Ava woke disoriented, surrounded by darkness and silence, still clutching her phone. Blinking repeatedly, Ava willed her vision to clear so she could steady herself. All it took was one glimpse of her phone in her hand to bring her crashing back to reality.
Opening the message again, Ava read it. It hadn’t changed. Pushing her hair out of her eyes, Ava rolled over and groaned. She wasn’t sure if she wanted it to change or say the same. Tossing her phone recklessly onto the pillow beside her, Ava vaulted from her bed and headed to the bathroom, stripping out of her twisted skirt and blouse as she went.
“I can’t believe I slept in my work clothes,” she grumbled as she fought the nylon stockings until her thumb went straight through the flimsy fabric.
Wrapping a towel around her, Ava turned on the taps and watched as the bath started filling before adding a generous dollop of vanilla body wash. Wandering out to the kitchen, Ava flicked on the lamps, bathing her entire apartment in soft, warm light. Ava reached into the cupboard and grabbed herself a large wine glass before filling it with the chilled wine she kept for special occasions—or medicinal purposes.
After lighting a few candles, Ava propped her glass—and the rest of the bottle—on the counter before sinking into the hot water. Instantly she felt her worries seeping from her pores as she breathed in the fragrant vanilla scent that filled the room. It was her favourite smell in the whole world. Well, vanilla and Tyler.
“No!” she scolded herself as his face danced in her memories.
Grabbing her Kindle, Ava waited for it to load up her latest guilty pleasure, a story about a cowboy and his ranching family. It was one of those romantic stories where the hero was mostly seen in a well fitting pair of Wranglers, a Stetson, heavy boots, and not much else. Within seconds Ava was carried away into another world of dust, hay bales, and two stepping at the rodeo.
When the water cooled and her fingers had turned pruney, Ava reluctantly climbed from the bath and pulled on the fluffy white bathrobe that hung on the hook behind the door. Scooping up her dirty clothes, she blew out the candles and headed to the kitchen, suddenly rav
enous. Scratching around the near empty fridge, Ava realised how bad she’d been. There was barely any food and what there was didn’t look enticing at all. A wilted lettuce, a hunk of cheese that had seen better days, and a half eaten box of noodles that was emitting a rather nasty smell. Tossing it all in the bin, Ava grabbed her phone and ordered an extra large, extra cheesy pizza with garlic bread.
Ava couldn’t help herself. She reread Tyler’s message for what seemed like the millionth time. She wanted to reply but couldn’t decide what to say. She wanted to yell at him and make him feel as horrid as she did. She wanted to apologise but she wasn’t sure what she’d be apologising for. But mostly she just wanted him back. Back and forth, typing out replies only to delete them a moment later.
“Fuck this, you chicken!” Ava swore at herself. “Stop being such a sook and just do it already.”
After her harsh lecture, Ava grabbed her phone and hit send before turning it off and stuffing it in the bottom of her underwear drawer.
Chapter 25
Tyler
“What the fuck sort of reply is ‘okay’?” Tyler seethed, wearing nothing but a pair of skin tight Lycra Speedos and a towel.
“Did you say something, Tyler?” the old man asked as he shuffled to where Tyler stood dripping on the concrete.
From the moment he’d sent the message, he’d been on edge; more cranky than a bear who’d been woken too early from hibernation. Sure, he’d sent Ava a message in a moment of weakness and exhaustion but he couldn’t take it back and a part of him, a big part, didn’t want to. Now he was just pissed. Pissed with himself for being so pathetic and sending it. Pissed with Ava’s bullshit reply. But mostly he was just pissed for caring.
“No, sorry. I was just talking to myself.”
“Okay then. Take it easy tonight Tyler. You worked hard today. You need to recover so we can do it again tomorrow. Don’t go pushing yourself too hard,” he offered with a hearty pat on his shoulder.
On Dry Land (Swimming Upstream #3) Page 13