The truth was she wasn’t okay. She felt like shit and she probably looked worse. And Tyler was here. In her house. And she was locked in the bathroom, on her hands and knees praying to the porcelain god. For the next ten minutes Ava purged her stomach and dry heaved some. She could hear Tyler’s heavy footsteps on the other side of the door as he paced back and forth. Ava knew him well enough to know he couldn’t handle things he couldn’t fix. In Tyler’s mind there was always a way to fix something.
Eventually she pulled herself off the floor, washed her face, brushed her teeth, and cracked open the door. She didn’t even make it through the doorway before she met a wall of solid muscle standing before her, and two very large, very warm hands were grasping her shoulders.
“Short Stack…”
“Don’t, Tyler. Please…just don’t.”
“Okay. Come on. Let’s get you back in bed.”
“I can’t, Tyler. I’ve got to get ready for work. It’s already after seven. Shouldn’t you be at training, anyway?” Ava asked as she tried to wriggle out of his grip, but Tyler wasn’t letting go.
“I’m not going today. Neither are you. I’ve already texted Amanda and told her you were sick and wouldn’t be in.”
Annoyed, Ava scrunched up her nose. It was wrong of Tyler to assume she’d take the day off. She could work through a hangover. Hell, she deserved to have to suffer. Self inflicted pain was never a day off in her book. Not for her staff and certainly not for her. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Yes. I should have. Now Short Stack, back in bed.”
Feeling drained, Ava gave up the fight and crawled back under the covers. The moment her head hit the pillow, Ava felt sleepy and her eyes fell closed. “Tyler?”
“Yeah, Ava?”
“You’re not going anywhere, are you?” Ava heard the neediness in her voice and wanted to be embarrassed but she wasn’t. She’d had enough of hiding.
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, Short Stack. Sleep now. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Promise?”
“Promise,” Tyler confirmed with another kiss on her head before he placed a cool cloth there, instantly soothing her throbbing headache and lulling her into a deep sleep.
When Ava woke, Tyler wasn’t beside her and Ava felt a sob catch in her throat. He was gone again. And she was alone. Sitting up, the wave of nausea came back with a vengeance, sending her vaulting from her bed towards the bathroom. Minutes of dry heaving left her eyes wide and watery and her chest sore from the effort. Carefully, she staggered to her feet and glanced in the mirror.
“Holy shit!” Ava was instantly glad that Tyler hadn’t been beside her now. She looked terrible. Her face was a washed out shade of grey, her red-rimmed eyes were sunken and lifeless and her lips were dry and chapped. No one should have to be exposed to this in the morning. Especially Tyler. After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she felt slightly more human. Then she had to turn her attention to taming the bird’s nest on her head. She should have known better than to go to bed with wet hair, but last night she couldn’t find the energy to care. Now she was paying the price. As hastily as possible, Ava wrangled her long curly locks into a braid the hung down her back. Even though it made her look like a school girl, if she was going to spend most of the day with her head in the toilet, at least her hair wouldn’t get in the way.
With her legs quivering beneath her, Ava held onto the wall as she made her way back to her bedroom and balanced herself on the corner of her bed.
“You okay?” Tyler asked with a concerned smile as he stepped into her room.
“I’ll survive.”
“Here, drink this,” Tyler instructed, handing her a glass of orange juice and sitting down beside her.
Greedily Ava gulped down the juice, loving the coolness it brought with it. She felt better almost immediately. But Ava couldn’t be sure if it was the juice that refreshed her or the man beside her tenderly rubbing circles on her aching back.
“Better?”
“Much. Thank you.”
“I brought you a piece of toast. Want to give it a go?”
“Sure. Vegemite?”
“Of course. You can’t have thought I’d already forgotten your obsession.”
“Never.”
After finishing most of the toast and the juice, Ava settled back against the headboard and picked at her fingers. The queasiness was back. But this time it was nerves and anxiety responsible. They had to talk and Ava knew it was now or never. That didn’t make it any easier though.
She watched as Tyler cleaned up the mess and hurried to the kitchen. He was avoiding the elephant in the room too. When he returned, he handed Ava a cold bottle of water and settled at the opposite end of the bed facing her. Taking a deep breath, Ava tried to prepare herself. Tried to erect walls around her heart from the words that were about to be said. One look into Tyler’s sad eyes had them crumbling before they’d had a chance to set.
“Ava,” he began softly.
“Tyler, please. Like a band aid. Just do it.”
“Short Stack…” Tyler sighed and stood. With his hands buried in his pockets, he began pacing back and forth. Ava knew this wasn’t easy for him and she didn’t want to make it worse, but it had to be done. And it had to be done now. Dragging it out wouldn’t help anyone. The suspense would kill them both. “You know I love you. You know that, right?”
“Yes Tyler, I know.”
“And I never wanted to hurt you. Seeing you like this—”
“Is my own fault. I drank too much last night. So I don’t deserve your sympathy for something I did. It’s just a hangover. It’ll pass,” Ava cut him off. She didn’t want his pity and she wasn’t about to let him guilt himself into something he didn’t want.
Running his hand across his stubbly chin, Tyler stopped walking and turned to face Ava, locking his gaze with hers. “What are we going to do?”
“With?”
“Us, Ava. I mean, I’ve been a miserable asshole for weeks. Ask anyone. Luke and Sam are about ready to drown me. Jonathan is out for blood. Not to mention Jake.”
“What about Jake?”
“I’m avoiding him at all costs, Ava. If he saw you like this, saw what I’ve done to you, I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Jake’ll make sure I’m not around to.”
“Now you’re being ridiculous.”
“Ava, I can’t give you the future you deserve. The future you want.”
Unable to sit there a moment longer, Ava jumped to her feet and planted her hands on her hips. “How do you know what I want, Tyler? Huh? Did you once ask me? Did you give me a chance to tell you? Or did you just assume what you thought I wanted and jump to conclusions?”
Tyler slumped on the bed and dropped his head in his hands. “You’re right. I didn’t ask. I didn’t think I needed to. I knew where this was going. I thought we were on the same page. But I never asked.”
“Ask me now,” Ava dared. Outwardly she was coming across as strong and ready to face anything head on, inwardly she was shivering with fear. She didn’t know why she’d demanded he ask her for the truth. Up until the moment the words fell from her lips, she hadn’t even considered it. It was out there now and she couldn’t take it back, no matter how much she wanted to.
“Ava, please don’t make this harder…”
“Ask me, Tyler. Now,” she demanded firmly.
“What do you see in your future, Ava?”
“Why, Tyler, thank you for asking.”
At her words, Tyler’s face relaxed into a wicked smirk. The heaviness lifting and Ava was secretly proud of herself. Even if it was short-lived, it was better. “Don’t be a smart arse,” he warned.
“You, Tyler. When I see my future, you’re what I see.”
“But what about…”
Taking a tentative step towards him, Ava’s pulse took off into overdrive. How was she supposed to hold it together? This one conversation could determine the rest of her life. It could give
her everything she ever wanted or she could lose it all. It was a gamble. It was one she had to take. There was no other option and no second chances. With another step, she reached Tyler and stepped between his legs, letting her hands come to rest on his wide shoulders. Tyler tilted his head up and Ava was caught in his brown-eyed trap. In that moment, she knew without a doubt she wasn’t going to let him go without a fight.
“Tyler, you are what I want in my future. I have absolutely no doubts about that. And yes, I’m embarrassed to admit it, and if you use this against me later, I promise there will be severe repercussions, but I’ve done the dreaming. I’ve scribbled down a signature that reads Ava Andrews. I’ve pictured our wedding. And where we’ll live. And what we’ll do. And what you’ll do for work, because we both know you can’t swim forever. And I’ve imagined what we’ll be like as old people. I’ve pictured our dog, and our—”
“Kids. You can say the word, Ava. You’ve pictured what our kids will look like.”
“How’d you—”
“Like I said. Same page. I’ve done that too. I thought we’d have a little girl, with blue eyes and springy brown ringlets like her mother.” Tyler’s arms circled Ava’s waist and he crushed her to him, his head settling between her breasts.
“I’d prefer a gorgeous brown-eyed boy like his dad,” Ava countered with a whisper.
“Both.”
“Both.”
For a moment they just stayed there in silence. Neither moving. Wrapped in each other. Ava knew she had to be the strong one here. It was her turn. Tyler needed her to keep it together and keep it going, so that’s what she’d do. Reaching down, she took his face between her hands and stared at him. She loved him. Kids or not, it didn’t matter. She could live with that. What she couldn’t live without was Tyler.
“We can figure that part out later, Tyler. We can adopt or try IVF or something. I don’t know. Or we can just be that annoying couple who doesn’t have kids but has fantastic holidays and a white leather lounge.”
Tyler chuckled deeply, the vibrations in his chest reaching Ava, causing her to crack open a wide grin. “You’d do that? For me?”
Slightly disappointed that Tyler didn’t already understand it was a given, Ava bent down to his eye level. “Without question,” she confirmed before slamming her lips against his in an aggressive, passionate kiss that knocked Tyler backwards, taking a giggling Ava with him.
Things heated up quickly. Before they had a chance to register, hands were everywhere and Ava felt a breeze on her back as Tyler pushed away her shirt. “I love you, Ms. Jacobs,” he panted before capturing her lips once again in a toe-curling kiss.
Chapter 35
Tyler
Crawling out of Ava’s bed proved to be the hardest thing he’d ever done. She was warm and soft and so damn beautiful it made Tyler’s heart hurt. He had to get to training. He’d already missed the morning session, he couldn’t blow off a whole day no matter how much he wanted to. Pulling on his sweats, Tyler scribbled a note, dropping it on his abandoned pillow before vanishing out the door.
As he drove towards the pool he realised Ava was right. He’d been making decisions about her life without her. Without knowing what she was thinking or what she wanted. And her answers had left him staggered. Now it would all be okay. Somehow. Together they’d find a way to make their dreams come true. Not his. Not hers. But theirs. With renewed energy and ideas buzzing in his head, Tyler raced to training.
As he pulled into the mostly deserted car park, a huge hand clamped down on his shoulder, “Look who decided to grace us with his presence!” Luke taunted, adjusting his bag on his own shoulder.
“Yeah, maybe now I’ll get some real competition,” Sam tossed back easily as he slid from behind the wheel of his oversized SUV.
“Do you two ever shut up?”
Looking at each other, then back at Tyler, they grunted in unison. “Nup!”
All three continued laughing and teasing as they made their way to the entrance right up until the moment they came face to face with a cranky man, sporting half a dozen stop watches around his neck and a scowl across his weather battered face.
“Gentleman,” his voice was deep and full of intimidating authority.
Instantly the cheeky grins and smart ass comments died as they shuffled past. “Tyler!” A hand reached out and grabbed Tyler’s arm unexpectedly, causing him to wobble off balance.
“Yep?” he asked as he regained his footing and turned to meet his coach’s angry stare dead on. Tyler wasn’t dumb enough to think he’d get away without showing for training without a word, but he’d hoped.
“Anything you would like to tell me? Explanation you’d care to offer? Excuse you’d care to make up?”
Tyler winced. He could lie or try to bluff his way through but what was the point? He knew he was sporting a ridiculous grin that nothing or nobody would be able to wipe off. Raising his eyebrow, Tyler shrugged and told the truth. “Ava?”
“Okay then. Get in the water. You’ve got to make up for what you missed.”
“Yes sir.”
“Oh, and Tyler?”
“Yeah?”
“I hope she’s worth it.”
“Undoubtedly.”
“Good.”
A light breeze could have knocked Tyler sideways. He was not expecting to get away with that. A one word excuse/explanation/whatever. He wasn’t about to argue though. Instead he adjusted his sunglasses and headed inside before he had a chance to change his mind.
Two exhausting hours and so many laps he’d lost count later, Tyler propelled himself from the pool on jelly legs, flopped onto the metal bench and sucked down an energy pouch. For a long moment, he just sat there staring at the water, feeling completely at ease. Lately he’d been so off balance, so out of sync that everything had been suffering. Even when he’d walked away from the rest of his life, focusing solely on winning, nothing clicked like it should. The water seemed to fight him with every stroke and when he ran, every rock and stick seemed to jump out of nowhere and try to trip him. Today was different. Today everything was going his way. The water was settled and his times were down. Impressively so.
Digging through his bag recklessly, Tyler didn’t even care that he was dripping water on all his dry clothes. Tyler was on a mission and nothing was going to stand in his way. Grabbing his phone, now the decision had been made he was going to act and act now.
Tyler: U busy?
The wait for the reply was agonising. Pulling on his sweats over his still damp swimmers, his frustration bubbled. Just as he was about to send a follow up, his phone beeped and he let go of the breath he’d been holding.
Katie: Yes. But when’s that stopped you???
Tyler: Bitch!
Katie: What do you want?
Tyler: Can you go to my house?
Katie: ???
Tyler: I need you to send me something.
Katie: What? Where is it?
Tyler: Just call me when you’re there.
Katie: Fine.
With an ear-splitting grin on his face Tyler forgot about the aches and exhaustion and half skipped to his car. From the corner of his eye he noticed the strange stares and he heard his name mentioned in hushed tones. As he slipped behind the wheel of the car, he checked the time. It was almost three. Surely Ava would be awake now.
Tyler: Going home to get some stuff. Then coming over. Need anything?
Ava: Presumptuous much???
Tyler: ???
Ava: Just get your butt home ASAP. :)
Tyler puffed his chest out like a proud peacock. Ava used the word home. Their home. Together. She might not have known it, but the simple word sent Tyler’s heart soaring. He sent a cloud of dust sky high as he tore out of the car park. With adrenaline pumping through his system, Tyler didn’t even bother to wait for the elevator to arrive when he reached his apartment complex, instead he ran up the stairs as fast as his tired, wobbly legs would carry him.
After pl
acing a quick call to his cleaning lady begging her to do an emergency once over, Tyler jumped in the shower and washed away the chlorine. Dashing through the house naked, Tyler picked up the squalor he’d been existing in for the past couple of days. Damp towels dropped wherever they landed, empty water bottles littered the coffee table, throw pillows kicked across the room when everything just seemed like too much hard work, and the recycling bin was overflowing. Thankful that his mother wasn’t there to see the mess, Tyler hurriedly tossed a load of washing in the machine.
Ten minutes later, it looked normal again. Pulling open the glass doors, Tyler tried to air the place out. It stank like damp and bachelor. Not an appealing fragrance that anyone would voluntarily spend any time in. Dressed in a pair of board shorts slung low on his hips, Tyler pulled a t-shirt over his head before slipping his feet into a pair of thongs.
As he yanked the door closed behind him, checking that it locked, he tapped out a text.
Tyler: On my way. Want anything???
Ava: You. :)
Tyler was halfway down the empty corridor when he read her message, bringing him to a screaming halt. He was done. He was totally and irrevocably in love with that girl and nothing was going to get in the way of that. All he had to do now was convince her of that. Willing one foot in front of the other, he started shuffling towards the elevator with a nervous bounce in his step.
Chapter 36
Ava
Ava flopped onto the sofa, exhausted. From the moment she’d awoken and found Tyler’s note she’d been running about like a woman possessed. Embarrassed by her lack of general housekeeping skills over the past few days, she started gathering the rubbish. All the abandoned scraps of paper that littered her desk, the ones where she’d scrawled horrible, miserable endings to James and Anna’s drama-filled relationship, including one that killed James off, went straight in the trash. Ava couldn’t be sure if Tyler had read them all or not, but right now she didn’t care. She just wanted them gone. Now.
On Dry Land (Swimming Upstream #3) Page 18