“Don’t.”
“Don’t what, Tyler? Seriously, man, I told you from the start, from the first moment you chose to go there. I warned you not to hurt her. I told you she might look tough but it was bullshit. I told you to tread carefully. But come on, man, this is seriously fucked up. That girl has been through hell time and time again and you’re the one person who’s supposed to be making it easier for her. Making her smile. Holding her hand when shit gets rough. Scooping her up off the concrete pavement when she passes out. But you’re not. Where the fuck are you when she needs you?”
Tyler opened his mouth to reply but the words choked him. Coughing loudly, he pressed his hand to the centre of his chest and tried to get his wild breathing back under control. Jake had just managed, in one dramatic speech to press every single one of his buttons.
Jake moved towards the door. “Nice work, Tyler.” He nodded towards the gaping hole in the gyprock. “You can’t keep doing this to her. You either need to lock this shit down or let her go once and for all. Don’t keep jerking her around. I’m not sure how much more she can take, honestly.”
Jake walked out without looking back. Tyler stood, staring at the back of the door. Hearing what Jake had to say had hurt more than a punch to the face would have. Every word he’d said was dead on. Now Tyler had to choose. Jake made it seem like there was a decision that needed to be made, like something he hadn’t already considered. But Tyler knew it was easy. He’d already made the call. All he had left to do was tell Ava.
Chapter 42
Ava
Ava woke the next morning a woman with a mission. After twenty minutes in the bathroom, she’d cleaned up, thrown up, and was ready for work. She’d had enough of this crap happening to her, Ava was going to take life by the balls and fight for what she wanted. It started with finding a fantastic new apartment to live in.
Jumping in her car, she zoomed through the streets and before she knew it she was at her desk working her way through the mountain of emails she’d missed over the previous days. It was part of the reason she hated sick days. It just didn’t seem to be worth it. One day off meant four days of pain when she got back. With renewed energy and determination, Ava started punching out replies.
Almost an hour later the people started to trickle in, interrupting her from the roll she was on. After the obligatory, ‘how are yous’ Ava was able to refocus and keep pushing through. With heavy fingers and an even heavier heart, Ava typed an email to a friend working in the property management department asking for help. She needed to find somewhere to live. After listing her requirements and begging, Ava hit send at the same moment reality hit her.
Although she’d been hesitant to move into Tyler’s picture perfect apartment, Ava couldn’t help but to feel a little disappointed. If not a lot. It would have been a step forward in their relationship. A step in the direction Ava hoped for, but it wasn’t to be. There was no point crying over that now. Now, she just had to get on with things and make a life. Her life. A life without Tyler Andrews.
“You look like you’re thinking hard,” Amanda suggested, pushing aside the pile of papers on the corner of Ava’s desk before perching her bum there.
“Yeah.”
“Need an aspirin?”
“Why?”
“For all that thinking. It’s got to be giving you a headache.”
“Gee thanks.”
“Anytime. Now, wanna tell me what’s up?”
“Not really.”
“Okay then. Anything I can do to help?”
“Help?”
“With what you’re thinking so hard about?”
Shaking her head sadly, Ava knew this problem was hers and hers alone. She needed time and space to figure it out. No one could do that for her, no matter how much she wanted them to. “Thanks, but I’ll figure it out. Eventually.”
“You let me know then?”
“Absolutely,” Ava lied. The less people who knew what a complete and utter disaster her life was, the better.
Amanda made to move out the door, but at the last minute Ava summoned her back. “Amanda! Can you do something for me?”
“Sure. What do you need?”
Gulping, Ava didn’t want to admit it but she couldn’t do everything herself. “Can you call that storage place that sells packing boxes and order me some?”
“Packing boxes?”
“Yeah. Twenty should do it.”
“Okay but…Ava, are you moving?”
“Yeah. I am.”
As Amanda bounced away, happier than a pig in mud, Ava heard her sing, “Ava’s moving in with Tyler! And it’s about time.”
Ava hung her head. She hadn’t lied, but she hadn’t exactly told the truth either. It seemed like Amanda had more invested in this failing relationship than Ava had, yet she wasn’t entirely sure it was even possible. Ava felt like she’d given it everything she had. Given Tyler everything she had. Gambled the lot and lost.
Immersing herself back in her work, Ava typed and returned calls and signed off paperwork as efficiently as possible. Even though she’d been away she had to leave on time. Somehow she’d managed to snag the last open appointment to get her blood work done. Tyler might be too afraid of the answers, but Ava wasn’t. She needed to know. And she needed to know now. The longer it went on the longer the more Ava was inclined to believe it wasn’t just her life this would affect.
Working through lunch, Ava scarfed down a few stale crackers she’d found in her drawer and felt slightly better. The fogginess that enveloped her brain lifted, if only for a moment. But a moment was all she needed.
Ava: I’m okay. No need to worry.
Ava sent the text to Katie. Even since her embarrassing and extremely well documented fall, Katie had been texting and calling her non-stop. Her brother may have been being a grade-A douche right now, but Katie had stepped up and into the role he’d willingly vacated. It took barely thirty seconds before Katie predictably replied.
Katie: BS!
Katie: WTF happened anyway?
Ava: He didn’t tell you???
Ava couldn’t bring herself to say his name. Every time she heard it, every time she saw it, hell, every time she closed her eyes and saw him it hurt all over again. Agonising, gut wrenching pain consumed her and right now she didn’t have the time nor the energy to deal with it.
Katie: No??? Should he have???
Ava: Best to ask your brother.
Katie: It was bad, wasn’t it?
Ava didn’t want to drop Tyler in the shit with his sister. God knows she’d seen more than once how that turned out, but she wasn’t about to lie to protect him either. Besides, Katie would find out the truth eventually. She always did.
Ava: It wasn’t good.
Turning off her phone, she dropped it back in her oversized, overfilled bag and tried to focus her attention on the problems in front of her. They weren’t making sense. Usually Ava could untangle the problems without her temper intervening, but today it just wasn’t co-operating. Getting up, Ava grabbed the empty water bottle from her desk and shuffled to the kitchen to refill.
“How’s the head?” a deep voice asked, causing Ava to spin around, sloshing water all down the front of her red top.
“Shit!” she grumbled as she tried to dry the spill with the nearest tea towel, which only managed to spread problem and make it worse. “Head’s fine!”
“You sure? That looks like a decent size bump you’ve got happening.”
Ava looked up with a look to kill. She was tired of being told what to do and when to do it. She was tired of being judged. Of not being good enough. Of not being enough. She hated feeling like less, but no matter what happened or what was said, she couldn’t get past it. It had been that way her whole life. It didn’t matter how many times she’d tried to be something else, someone else, in the end she was nothing more than Ava. Dorky, clumsy, sad, lonely Ava. The only person who’d ever made her feel like more was now gone. All that was left was the em
pty shell. Even that was proving a bloody big challenge to keep together.
“It’s fine,” Ava snarled, reaching up to touch the lump with tentative fingers. The truth was it still hurt like a bitch. The headache had subsided to a dull throbbing, but was still hanging around.
“Okay, okay. Don’t shoot the messenger.” Michael chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender.
“Sorry…”
“Don’t even worry about it.” Ava opened her mouth to reply, but Michael silenced her with a wave of his hand. “It’s fine, Ava. You know where I am if you ever need to talk.”
“Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
Feeling worse than she had before, Ava shuffled back to her desk and forced herself to focus on the task at hand. The sooner this ridiculous, torturous day ended, the better it would be for everyone. Especially her.
As soon as the clock struck five, Ava took off without even pausing to wave bye. She had places to go and people to see. Tearing through traffic, she barely noticed as she cut people off changing lanes and skidded into the vacant spot outside the pathology clinic. Ten minutes and thirteen vials of blood later, Ava wobbled back to her car. The moment she slumped in her seat she regretted not looking after herself better. She should have eaten something. Anything. Now she was suffering the consequences. She was dizzy, lightheaded, and more exhausted than she even knew to be possible. Pushing it aside, Ava fired up the engine, spun the tyres on the gravel, and took off in a cloud of dust. She didn’t have the luxury or the time to fall apart today.
Falling through the front door, her armful of boxes went flying across the room. Two loads later and she had everything she needed to pack her life into boxes. Collapsing into the sofa, Ava stuffed the take away burger and chips down her throat, regretting her choice with every bite.
“I’ve got it!” Ava squealed leaping from the couch, sending cold fries scattering across the floor.
Chapter 43
Tyler
Tyler was not a patient man at the best of times, but as the hours turned into days with so much unresolved, his frustrations grew. While his plans seemed to be coming together and everything was falling into place, it wasn’t moving fast enough for his liking. Ava wasn’t back in his arms where she belonged. He knew he had to bide his time and keep his distance, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.
Tyler: When you going to my place?
Katie: My life doesn’t revolve around you, you know.
The urge to slap his sister was overwhelming. He knew she was only saying it to press his buttons, and her snipey comment hit every single one of them.
Tyler: Please Katie…
Katie: Never seen you beg before. :)
Tyler: Well I am now.
Katie: OK. I’ll go this afternoon.
Tyler: Thanks.
Feeling slightly better that something was moving, Tyler tossed his phone back in his bag and headed to the gym. His life was a mess right now and only he could clean it up. He was just thankful he didn’t have to do it alone. He’d already recruited help. Especially those who could infiltrate the places he couldn’t get near because of his own stupidity. Ava. She was off limits to him. And while staying away from her might be the best thing in the long run, it didn’t mean for a minute his fingers weren’t itching to touch her.
Three sweaty hours later, Tyler chugged a bottle of sports drink and wiped his face on a towel. Although every muscle in his body burnt and he could feel the lactic acid building, his mind had never been clearer. He knew what he had to do.
“Hi Mum,” he puffed down the phone as he tossed his bag onto the back seat of the car and cranked the air conditioning.
“Tyler! What a lovely surprise. You never ring. Is everything okay?”
Tyler sighed. His mother was a master at the guilt. He knew he should call more often but he never had anything to say. Up until recently every day in his life was the same. Wake up, training, eat, nap, training, eat, and repeat. No variance, no excitement, nothing to report.
“Yeah, everything’s fine.” Even as the words dribbled from his mouth he realised what a gigantic lie that was. Everything was not fine. In fact nothing was. “Just wondering if you and Dad are home tonight?”
“Of course, sweetie. Why is that?”
“I’m on my way.”
“Tyler, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?” He could hear the fear in his mother’s shaky voice and he regretted being the one responsible for putting it there.
“Nothing, Mum. I just want to talk to you both. Can Katie come over too?”
“Absolutely.”
“Can you call her and invite her? If I do, she’ll think something’s up.”
“O-Okay. Are you sure you’re all right, Tyler?”
“Yes, Mum. I’m fine. I’m not sick and I’m not in trouble. I just need to talk to you guys. But look, I’ve gotta go. I’m driving so I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”
“Okay, sweetie. Drive safely. Love you.”
“Love you too,” Tyler added, quickly ending the call.
Already he felt lighter. Dropping his foot on the accelerator, Tyler’s Jeep leapt forward and he was on his way. Even though he’d made the decision and he was happy with it, getting his parents’ approval was important to him. They’d been the ones to support him through everything. Together they’d ridden all the highs and all the lows his career had given him. All he could hope for now was that they were willing to back him as he attempted the biggest ride of his life.
Using his hands free, Tyler spent the next hour on the phone putting things in motion and confirming arrangements. Running his hand through his hair, Tyler grabbed the energy bar from the console and wolfed it down in two bites. He had one more call to make. The one call he’d been putting off for days. The one thing that worried him the most. At least he was already in the car headed out of town. If Jake wanted to catch him, at least this way he had a head start.
“I was wondering when you’d grow a set and return my call.”
“Hi to you too, Jake.”
“Fixed it yet?”
“I’m working on it.”
“Work faster.”
“Jake…”
“Nah, Tyler. I’m serious. Our girl looks like shit. From what they’re telling me, she’s not doing well at all. She comes in early, works through, and as soon as the clock hits five, she’s out the door like something lit her arse on fire.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
“And she’s still sick. I don’t know what it is and she’s not talking. To anyone. All I know is she barely eats anything at all and throws up a lot.”
“Damn it!” Tyler slammed his fist onto the steering wheel, accidentally smashing the horn, causing the driver of the car overtaking him to flip him the bird. With his jaw clenched painfully, Tyler forced himself to keep from exploding. “Jake…I need to know…”
“I know you do,” Jake replied, quickly not letting Tyler get too far. “Right now, she’s not talking. Amanda’s keeping an eye on her. Give her the weekend to calm down, then we’ll see how she’s holding up. Hell, if she’s still sick on Monday, I’ll drag her sorry arse to the doctor’s myself.”
“Thanks.”
“Where are you, anyway? Sounds like you’re in a tunnel or something.”
“I’m in the car. Headed home. I need to pick up something.”
“You’re not being a pussy and running away again, are you?”
Jake’s words stung. Tyler wanted to argue and make him take them back but he couldn’t. How could he possibly be pissed at Jake for that jab? All he’d done was tell the truth. No matter how painful or how ugly that truth was.
“No.”
“Good. She deserves better than that.”
“Agreed.”
“Right then.”
“Look, Jake, I’ve got to go, but keep an eye on her for me. I know Amanda’s watching but—”
“I get it, Tyler. Go, get whatever shit
you’ve got to do done and get back here and fix this. Fast.”
“I plan to.”
Tyler hung up, relieved. It had gone better than he dared to hope it could have. After a long gulp of the warm water from the bottle on his door, Tyler turned up the stereo, slumped back in his seat, and put his foot down. He had shit to do and now he had even more of an incentive to get it done as quickly as humanly possible.
The moment his car’s front wheels touched the concrete driveway of his parents’ suburban home, his mother was there waiting, with her arms folded over her chest and a worried expression covering her face. He knew he was about to get an earful. Slowly he inched up the driveway before turning off the ignition. Taking a deep, calming breath, Tyler climbed from the car and was greeted immediately with a slap.
“What the—?”
“Tyler Andrews! Don’t you ever do this to me again! You hear me?”
“Yes, Mum,” he replied automatically. He might have been a grown man living his own life. He might have flown around the world and represented his country at the highest level. He may have met everyone from presidents to royalty. But when he came home, he was still just his mother’s son. Something she’d never let him forget.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on now?”
“Is Dad home?”
“Not yet.”
“Let’s wait for him.”
“Tyler…”
He turned and looked at his mother. She wasn’t happy. Her lips were a straight line and the concern in her eyes reassured him that he was making the right call. He only wanted to do this once, so she’d have to wait. He didn’t think he had the strength to do it twice.
“As soon as Dad and Katie are here, I’ll explain everything. I promise.” Placing a kiss on her forehead, Tyler wrapped an arm around her shoulders and guided her inside. “I’m going to run and have a quick shower. I came straight from the gym and after sitting in the car smelling my own stinky arse for the past couple of hours, I know I need it.”
On Dry Land (Swimming Upstream #3) Page 22