His reassuring, confident voice sent tingles down Ava’s spine. For days she’d been pretending to be tough. To be strong. To be okay. But the moment she heard his voice all the walls surrounding her heart crumbled away, as she leapt over the wreckage.
Swallowing heavily, Ava squeaked. “Tyler—”
“Ava?”
She didn’t know what to say. She wanted to rant and rave and act like a crazy woman, but another part of her wanted nothing more to crawl into his arms and pretend the rest didn’t exist.
“Ava? Are you still there?”
Feeling her face burn, Luke and Sam must have recognised her embarrassment because without a word they started moving away from her, arguing in hushed tones. “Mmmm.”
“I know you’re pissed at me right now and you have every right to be. But I need to ask for one more thing. Then if you want me to disappear out of your life, I’ll leave you alone. Can you do that, Ava? Can you do me one last favour?”
Ava wanted to say no. She didn’t even want to know what he wanted. She couldn’t. “Wha-what…do you…want?”
Chapter 47
Tyler
Tyler’s heart was in his mouth. He’d gotten further than he thought he would. Ava had listened to him. Now he just had to keep her on the line and convince her to come see him. Wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, Tyler felt his stomach clench and his mouth was suddenly dry. “Can you come over?”
The long silence that followed his request almost knocked him on his arse. Biding his time, Tyler fussed about the apartment, plumping the cushions on the couch and wiping down the bench for the fourth time. It was so clean you could perform surgery right there in his kitchen.
“Okay.”
Tyler froze. He could have sworn he’d heard Ava agree, but he wanted to be sure. He needed to be. “I didn’t catch that. Did you say okay?”
He heard the sharp intake of breath, before the sweetest word he’d ever heard came through the phone. “Okay.”
“Ava, thank you. I promise you won’t regret it. When do you think you can get here?”
“Now.”
“Now?”
“Yes, Tyler now.” Ava’s voice got stronger and Tyler knew she was still in there. She wasn’t completely broken. He hadn’t completely destroyed her. “It seems my whole life is packed in the back of a truck under your instructions and I have nowhere to go. And your minions won’t give me answers. They just tell me to talk to you. So that’s what I’m doing, Tyler. I’m talking to you. So I’ll leave here in five minutes and head to your place. Will you be there?”
Choking the lump in his throat, Tyler promised, “I’ll be here.”
“Fine. See you soon.”
“See you soon, Short Stack.”
The moment the call ended, Tyler flew into action. Even though this was part of his master plan, everything had been brought forward a couple of hours. Rushing back and forth, he finished tidying and set everything in its place. Tyler wasn’t dumb enough to think he’d get a second chance to pull this off. He had his one shot and he wasn’t about to fuck it up.
Chapter 48
Ava
Navigating the traffic was easy enough but navigating the conflicting thoughts in her head was proving to be a bigger challenge. A challenge she wasn’t sure she was up for. She needed to talk to Tyler. He needed to know he was going to be a father, even if he didn’t believe it was his. Once she told him, once he knew, then it was up to him what he did next. Her responsibility to Tyler ended the moment he knew. She only hoped he didn’t hate her for it.
Pulling into the driveway of the underground car park, Ava buzzed the apartment.
“Yes?”
“Tyler, it’s me.”
“Don’t you have your remote?” he asked as the gate swung open and she inched the car inside.
Spying the remote in the console she knew she could have used it but for some reason it didn’t feel right. At least buzzing gave Tyler some warning. Parking in the spot next to his Jeep, she crawled out of the car and grabbed her things. Spying her reflection in the window, Ava wished she’d taken the time to clean herself up. She looked like shit. Her hair was a mess, her face was pale, she wore dirty, dusty clothes, and didn’t have a trace of makeup with her. And she stunk. Badly. She’d run out of the house so fast, she’d forgotten she was wearing one of Tyler’s t-shirts.
With a heavy sigh and an even heavier heart, Ava stalked across the car park and stepped into the awaiting elevator. A moment later she was at Tyler’s front door. Raising her trembling fingers, she knocked tentatively and stepped backwards.
The moment the door opened, Tyler was standing there looking like sex on legs with a wide smile across his beautiful face. It wasn’t real. It didn’t light up his eyes and it didn’t mask his worries. A huge part of Ava felt guilty. She’d put those worries there. The moment she did though, she realised she had more important things to be concerned with right now than Tyler’s issues. She had a shit load of her own to deal with and for the first time in her life Ava was going to put herself first. Well, herself and her baby.
“Come in,” he offered, holding the door and stepping back to let her pass.
Ava felt his eyes tracking her. She couldn’t bring herself to raise her own, too afraid to see disgust and disappointment there. On autopilot, Ava moved towards the living room and was shocked by what she saw. The whole room was filled with flowers. White lilies and red roses filled vases on every available surface. It smelt divine. For ten seconds. Then her stomach reminded her not to get caught up in the romance, reality was waiting.
Without a word Ava took off like a bat out of hell through the apartment and camped out on the floor of Tyler’s bathroom, praying to the porcelain god. Again.
“Shit, Ava! Are you all right?” Tyler asked, his voice thick with angst.
“Yeah,” Ava mumbled as she wiped her mouth with the bottom of her shirt and clambered to her feet. Before she had a chance to object, Tyler was behind her, helping her to stand. She washed her face and gulped down water greedily directly from the faucet.
“Ready to move?”
“I guess…” Ava answered automatically, but she wasn’t so sure.
Wrapping an arm around her waist, Ava felt herself lean into Tyler as he manoeuvred them to the bed and sat her down. Unable to restrain herself, Ava breathed in Tyler’s scent and knew she was home. Nothing else mattered. They’d figure the rest out somehow. They’d do it together. Now all she had to do was convince Tyler.
Tyler settled her against the pillows and stepped back, burrowing his hands into his back pockets. “Ava, I know you’re pissed at me right now and you’re right to be, but I need you to hear me out before you make up your mind. Can you do that, please?”
Not trusting herself to speak, Ava nodded as she tucked her own hands under her thighs. She was dying to touch him. All it would take was one touch and she’d agree to anything he wanted. Right now though, he was asking her to listen. That’s all. Ava could give him that. Surely.
“Thank you. Firstly, I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am for the stupid, idiotic dumb comment I made the other day. I know you and I get why they did the tests they did. I guess at the time I just freaked out and I took it out on you. And I know that’s no excuse, and trust me, I’ve had my arse kicked more than once for it, but I need you to know I didn’t mean it. Any of it.”
“I do,” Ava confirmed. She watched as two simple words changed Tyler’s posture. His shoulders dropped, his jaw seemed to unlock and the intense stare in his chocolate eyes softened.
“You do?”
“I do.”
“There’s more.”
“Okay.”
“I love you. More than you could ever know. Fuck, it was more than even I realised. And it took you walking away for me to figure out how much. And I want this with you. All of this. A life. And for the record, I have every intention of asking you to be my wife but there’s a few things you need to know first.”
Chapter 49
Tyler
A moment ago Tyler felt like he had the whole world in his hand. He’d cleared hurdle number one. Ava had accepted his apology. He’d been more than prepared to drop to his hands and knees and grovel if that’s what she needed, but Ava was Ava. He should’ve known. She didn’t need him to make a fool out of himself to prove it. She just needed him to be honest.
“O-okay,” Ava stuttered. The fear was back and Tyler regretted his word choice. He’d never intended to freak her out. He was trying to be as open and as honest as his heart would allow.
“I don’t want you to be afraid…”
“I’m not afraid of you, Tyler!” Ava snapped, sitting up straight. With her posture rigid and terror in her eyes, Tyler was the one who was unexpectedly afraid.
“Please just let me get this out. I may fuck it up completely but I’m going to try, okay?” Ava nodded and Tyler sucked in a deep breath. “I’ve made some decisions about my swimming. I know I can’t do this forever, and honestly, I’m not loving it the way I used to. So I’m retiring.”
“What?”
“I’m going to retire. I’ll do the Olympic trials and if I qualify I’ll go. If I don’t, I’m done. Either way, once the Olympics are over, I’m walking away.”
“Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent. I don’t want my whole life to revolve around it anymore. When I started, it’s all I had. It’s all I was good at. Now I’ve got something else. Something better. Someone better. It’s time to focus on that. On you.”
“Tyler…you can’t…”
“Can’t what, Ava?”
“I can’t let you retire for me. It’s your life. It’s who you are.”
“No, it’s not. It’s what I did. Somewhere along the way, I lost me. I lost sight of what’s important. Now I know. And I’m not going to waste another minute pretending.”
“What are you going to do?”
Tyler heard the tremble in Ava’s voice. As much as she tried to mask it, it was undeniable. “Jonathan is working on some options. I’m going to be taking time off, that’s a nonnegotiable. Then after that, who knows. Media, coaching, mentoring. I might even go back to school. We’ll figure it out.”
“Tyler…”
“Please, Ava. Just give me one more minute, then you can yell and scream and throw things at me if you want to.”
“Continue.”
“The other day when you were in with the doctor, I had some tests done. I can’t have kids.” Although he’d known for a couple of days, each time he admitted it, it ripped his still beating heart from his chest. He hadn’t thought about a family until the choice had been taken away from him. Maybe he had, but it was in that abstract one day type situation. Now he’d been told it wasn’t a possibility he couldn’t let it go.
“Tyler…” Ava was on her feet and in his arms before he had a chance to push her away. Reaching down, he put his fingers under her chin and raised her eyes to meet his.
“I love you. And I want you. But you need to know I can’t give you the family you deserve. The one you dream of. We have options, but it’s going to be tough.”
“Options?”
“IVF. Adoption. Fostering. It’ll be hard. But you need to know, if that’s something you want, I’ll make it happen. I don’t care what the cost.”
It took all of his strength yet somehow he managed it. Stepping back, he wiggled out of Ava’s grasp, but didn’t miss the look of pure disappointment. “Now you know everything. My world is upside down, Ava. I can’t offer you the life you should have. All I can do is promise to love you with everything that I am and everything I have forever. Will you, Ava Jacobs, be my wife?”
Chapter 50
Ava
Barely holding it together, Ava wrapped her arms around her chest as Tyler dropped to his knee in front of her, dug his hand in his pocket, and produced the most beautiful ring she’d ever seen. This wasn’t a spur of the moment proposal. He had a ring. He hadn’t schemed this up as she drove over. He’d planned this.
“Tyler…” her voice cracked. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to scream yes. First, she had some confessions of her own to make. “I love you. I didn’t want to. I wanted to hate you and I wanted you to hurt as much as I hurt.”
“I did. Believe me, I did.”
Holding up her hand to silence him, Tyler looked up at her from his perch on one knee. She wanted him to stand up and be her equal but she couldn’t pull him up. Not yet. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t hate you even when I tried to. You hurt me, though. You really did. You need to know that you did. And I forgive you for it. I understand. You were scared. I do want to marry you. More than you will ever know.”
“You do?”
“Of course I do. But there’s something you need to know.”
“Okay,” Tyler replied as he wobbled on his knee.
“I got my results from the doctor.”
Tyler’s face fell. “Tell me you’re okay? Please…”
Gripping Tyler’s face in her hands, Ava felt his pain. Fear consumed her as she forced herself to remember this moment for the rest of her life. The next words from her lips could destroy her life and there was a chance Tyler would kick her out of his apartment and his life with his next breath. Unable to stop herself, Ava bent over and kissed his lips so softly it was like a breath of air.
“I’m fine, Tyler.”
“Thank fuck!”
“And so is our baby.”
Chapter 51
Tyler
Tyler’s heart stopped. He would have sworn it forgot how to beat. Rising from his knee, his legs trembled beneath him. His eyes never left Ava’s as she stepped back and nervously chewed on her bottom lip. All at once, everything made sense yet nothing did.
“Our…baby?”
“Yes, Tyler. Ours.”
“How? When?”
“Take a breath. Tyler. I’m eleven weeks. Everything’s fine. It is yours. If that’s what you’re thinking…”
“I never questioned it. But Ava, are you saying I’m going to be a father?”
“Yes, Tyler. You are.”
Without a word, Tyler swept Ava into his arms and spun her around in circles, her feet not once touching the floor. Ava giggled wildly against his neck and squeezed her to him. As abruptly as he’d picked her up, he set her down.
“You never answered my question.”
“Which question?” Ava asked with a knowing smirk.
“Will you be my wife, Ava Jacobs?”
“I’d love to, Tyler Andrews.”
When Ava stretched out her left hand, Tyler slid the ring in its rightful place before crushing his lips against Ava’s. When she responded in his arms, it became a kiss he’d remember forever. His fiancée made his toes curl and he couldn’t help but pick her up and lay her out on his bed. It was a sight he couldn’t’ wait to wake up to each day.
Chapter 52
Ava
Lying in the tangled sheets, their limbs twisted together, Tyler traced circles with his fingers across Ava’s exposed belly. For the last ten minutes she’d laid there perfectly still while Tyler kissed and caressed and whispered to their unborn child. All her fears had evaporated. He loved this baby as much as she did.
“No more secrets,” Tyler stated, turning his attention to Ava.
“Agreed.”
With his chocolate eyes filled with lust, Ava ran her fingers through his messy hair. He had the just fucked look about him and it suited him perfectly.
“I guess I should tell you then…”
“What?” Tyler sat up like he’d been shot, taking the sheet with him.
Suddenly feeling very cold and very exposed, Ava grinned. “I finished the sequel.”
“And? Do James and Anna get a happy ending or is James such an arse he loses the girl?”
With a wink, Ava looked at her fiancé and grinned knowingly. “What do you think?”
“Happy ending. You’re too much of
a romantic to go for anything else.”
“You’ll just have to wait and see…”
Chapter 53
Tyler
Tyler stared down at Ava and couldn’t believe his luck. He could have won the lottery, found a cure for cancer and solved all the world’s problems and he was certain he wouldn’t have felt as happy as he did in that moment. She’d given him the greatest gift anyone could ever give him. She’d given him her heart and she was going to make him a father.
Lowering himself on top of her, he planted kisses on her cheeks, forehead, eyelids before leaving her with a toe curling kiss. “Do you believe it now, Ava?”
“Mmm, believe what?” she mumbled against his lips.
Forcing himself to hold back, Tyler waited ’til her eyes fluttered open. “That perfection isn’t just an illusion after all.”
THE END
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Acknowledgements
Thank you to the amazing bunch of women I have met on this incredible roller coaster—Iris, Gloria, Haley, Mel, Sophia, Brittney, Alison. You guys understand what’s going on and you’re always available day or night with kind words or reassurance. And Lori. Seriously, I wouldn’t be doing this without. I’m not embarrassed to admit I had no idea what the hell I was doing when I started. Your patience, guidance, and willingness to help others makes you an unbelievable asset to the team and I, for one, am really glad you’re on my side.
On Dry Land (Swimming Upstream #3) Page 24