Feather

by Laurie Lyons

  Lucy giggled, "I get it ok?"

  "You better because I really don't want to have to beat the crap out of you," Anastasia shot her a tough look.

  "Yeah yeah yeah," Lucy rolled her eyes, "like you could."

  Anastasia hugged her again, "Ok, keep me posted. I gotta get to rehearsal. I will see you later for work right?"

  "You bet," Lucy smiled, "and by the way, thanks for caring, really, I appreciate it."

  Anastasia started to walk away and waved at her over her shoulder, "That's m'job loser!" she called and headed off towards the theatre. Lucy smiled after her for a minute before turning towards her own class.

  He doesn't exist. She thought to herself over and over. It became a mantra and with each step she deepened her resolve, bringing her closer to control and sanity.

  He doesn't exist, he doesn't exist.

  Then she imagined Nathaniel's face again and her confidence began to falter. He had felt so real, so solid and so wonderful that it was inconceivable to her that she could have invented him. She remembered how funny he was and how interested he was in her. Lucy had always been too independent to need a boyfriend. The boys she dated in high school were agreeable enough but no one had really caught her attention, not like Nathaniel had caught her attention anyway. Since starting college, the thought of a steady boyfriend had never even crossed her mind; she had been too busy with friends and school.

  Why was she so attached to someone she had met for a few hours and literally knew nothing about?

  Because you made him up, she thought to herself. Of course! Nathaniel was the perfect guy because he was a figment of HER imagination. His perfection proved that he was fictitious! Lucy had made up the ideal person for herself. Just like Dr. Hannon had said, she was tired and maybe she did need a boyfriend, a real one. She would give her mind a rest, get a nice real boyfriend and everything would be just fine. Lucy laughed at herself. The past eighteen hours had been nothing but a bad dream and now it was over. If she could, she would have forgotten about the whole thing. Lucy took a deep breath resolving to start this incredibly long day over again and pulled open the door to her Ancient History lecture.

  Chapter Three

  Questions

  "Sometimes the questions are complicated

  and the answers are simple"

  ~Dr. Seuss

  Ancient history had been deeply boring as usual but Lucy stuck it out and almost sprinted back to her dorm. The horrors of the day were now tucked back away in her memory and she had no intentions of bringing them up again. She was finished with her classes for the day, it was Friday, she had the weekend in front of her and it was going to be a weekend she was taking off. Lucy got back to her room and saw that her harried departure this morning had made a disaster of the space. She set to work, picking up clothes, making her bed back into a couch and straightening her meager amount of belongings. Because her room was roughly the size of a shoebox, it only took twenty minutes to make it look pristine. It was 2:30 and Lucy had plenty of time to get ready for work. She stripped down, pulled on her housecoat, seized her makeup bag, shower bag and towel and headed to the bathroom.

  The bathroom was empty when she got in and Lucy rejoiced that she would get the good shower stall. The middle shower stall was also known as the 'money shower'. It had the best water pressure and it didn't react in anyway to toilet flushes or sinks being turned on. One was guaranteed to get a long hot satisfying shower if you were blessed enough to get the 'money shower'. Lucy preferred baths but she hadn't had a good long soaking bath in months. There were only stand up showers in the dorms and she hadn't been home since Christmas. The 'money shower' was the best alternative. Lucy let the hot water roll over her for a moment allowing it to wash away her worries and the stresses of the day. She renewed her conviction that the last several hours were nothing more than a bump in the road. It was an episode brought on by a tired photographic memory and a freshman college life. She reached for her shampoo and heard the bathroom door open.

  "Who's in here?" Paige demanded heading to the toilets on the far wall.

  "Me!" Lucy called back lathering up her hair. Paige recognized her voice and stopped to lean against a sink.

  "Oh hey Lucy, you ok?" she asked, "You looked pretty weird at lunch."

  "Oh yeah!" Lucy called back trying to sound light, "I'm fine." Lucy hadn't yet thought of a story to explain her bizarre behavior at the lunch table and frantically began to concoct one in her head. Before she could think of one, she heard the door slam open again.

  "IT'S FRIDAY!!!" Suzanne and Anastasia yelled together barreling into the bathroom.

  "Hell yeah!" Lucy yelled from the showers.

  "Amen! I am considering wearing a tube top as a skirt tonight." Paige replied.

  "You are a whore," Anastasia said laughing.

  "I need to make some extra cash," Paige giggled and headed into a bathroom stall.

  "Do you think that would work?" Suzanne asked wide eyed.

  "I think she was kidding," Anastasia smiled but paused. "But with Paige, you never know."

  "HA!" Paige yelled from the stalls.

  The girls all worked on Fridays and were enthusiastic about it. Munzies was a casual grill but had the best food and service in town. When tourists came or parents and kids came shopping for schools, the town hotel staff always recommended Munzies for dinner over the several other stuffy, expensive restaurants in town. It was the best place to eat and the best place to work. The environment was fun; everyone made money and had a blast doing it.

  Lucy finished her shower and headed for the sink while tying up her bathrobe. "Can Nick drive?" she asked Paige.

  "Yup," Paige was applying blush; "he and Simon will be waiting for us downstairs at 3:30." Everyone started at four on Fridays to catch the early school rush before the townspeople got off work. Nick usually drove everyone and although it was a tight squeeze in his Civic, it was better than taking the bus. The girls all finished getting ready and darted back to their rooms to change into their uniforms; black v-neck tops and black skirts. Lucy was almost at her door when Suzanne stopped her.

  "Hey Lucy," she whispered softly, "You ok?"

  "Yes I'm fine, I just..." Lucy was lost for words. She still hadn't thought of a story yet.

  "You just had a freak out," Suzanne finished for her nodding in comprehension.

  Lucy relaxed and smiled. "Yeah, just a freak out. I'm fine now. Go get changed." Suzanne kissed Lucy on the cheek and ran down the hall to her room. Lucy rushed into her own room and pulled on her uniform. She pulled her workbag off the shelf and double-checked its contents; apron, float, pens, notepad, computer card, gum and a nametag. Lucy involuntarily scowled at the nametag. The nametag was the only part of the job that everyone hated but their jack ass of a manager Shawn made them wear them. Lucy thought they were tacky and unnecessary. Servers often switched tags throughout the night so Lucy became Nick or Suzanne until Shawn caught them and made them switch back. Lucy added her keys and her wallet to the bag and threw it over her shoulder.

  Lucy looked at herself in the full-length mirror hanging on the back of her door. She had to admit that she looked pretty cute. She had a nice figure and the skirt hugged her hips and her legs weren't too long but shapely. Her neck was long and lean and her face was very pretty.

  "Not bad," she said to herself approvingly, "for a girl who went crazy for a little bit today, not bad at all."

  "Move bitches!" Paige yelled from the hallway. Lucy grabbed her bag and walked out the door while pulling on her coat. Suzanne and Paige were walking slightly ahead of her and they didn't slow their steps for Paige to reach out and bang on the RA Vanessa's door, "Suzanne, Lucy and Paige are going to work!" Paige yelled.

  "Ok!" came a muffled, flighty voice from within, "Have fun!"

  "Do you think she would have said the same thing if you had told her we were going out to buy some crack?" Lucy asked comically as they descended the stairs. The girls laughed.

  "Pr
obably!" Paige said as they met up with Anastasia on the second floor and hurried out the door. Nick was waiting in his car and Simon stood beside with the passenger door open and the seat flipped forward to admit them.

  "Looking good ladies!" Simon complimented as they started to pile into the back seat.

  "As per usual," Nick replied training his eye on Paige as she leaned over to kiss him before plopping down half on the seat and half on Suzanne. Once the backseat was sufficiently full of women, Simon pushed his seat back into place, slid in and closed the door.

  "Hit it buddy," Simon commanded. Nick's foot responded and the car lurched forward. "I love Fridays!" Simon added as Nick turned out of the University to the main road to town. Simon hit play on the ancient CD player and Hedley blared from the speakers at a deafening level. Lucy grinned. Tonight was going to be a great night- she could feel it.

  They had gotten to work in one piece which was a miracle considering that Nick drove like a maniac. By four, they were all standing in the restaurant's pass-through with the five other servers who were working that night. Simon was on the kitchen side of the pass-through, standing beside the head chef Ben, his kitchen uniform gleaming white and his carrot top hair confined beneath his chefs hat. He was the assistant night chef and loved it; his shy demeanor preferring the intensity and camaraderie of the kitchen to dealing with customers. Shawn, the night manager called them all to order and ran through the usual Friday night pre-shift and pep talk. His pep talks were on the best of days annoying, and on the worst of days, like this day, he was downright offensive.

  "Ladies, keep your lipstick fresh and if your skirt slides up a little, there is no need to panic, think of the regulars." Anastasia made a vomiting motion behind his back.

  "But what if MY skirt slides up a little?" Nick challenged, "Can I call the labour board then?" Shawn ignored him and kept yammering. Lucy tuned him out.

  By the time he was finished, the foyer was full and the hostesses were starting to seat, "Let's do this people." Shawn yelled as everyone scattered to greet the first tables.

  It was a busy Friday night. Lucy had great tables and the kitchen was on the ball. Food was coming out fast and perfect, people were happy and as a result, tipping well. "Hey Lucy," Ben called from the line. Lucy looked up from the coffee she was pouring. "Who is better looking? Me or Simon?"

  "Ben," Simon laughed while plating a steak and poking it gently to confirm its doneness, "When I went out with your Mom last night she said I was way better looking than you." This earned him a cuff upside the head but judging from the gales of laughter from the staff within earshot, Lucy figured it was worth it.

  "I think whoever sells me my dessert bill for table 21 is the best looking," Lucy said indicating her apple crumble waiting to be run. Ben was faster, he grabbed the ticket and flung it across the hot plate to Lucy's waiting hand. "Ben wins!" Lucy grabbed the dessert in one hand and punched the ticket with the other; "he is so hot I might just start taking off my clothes right now."

  "Awwww Lucy!" Simon moaned. Lucy laughed. Shawn came into the pass-through.

  "Ben, table 62 has an allergy to onions. She wants the Alfredo, is that ok?" Ben stared at the ceiling thinking of the recipe when he thought of a better idea.

  "Lucy?" Ben looked at her and when Shawn rolled his eyes he replied, "shortcut!"

  "Um," Lucy thought for a second. She flipped through the recipes in her mind; "Onion powder in the sauce but there isn't any in the rose sauce if she wants to swap that in."

  "HA!" Ben yelled, "She thinks I'm hot and she makes me look smart!" Lucy laughed and went to run out her dessert and coffee. Her memory wasn't failing her - it was just fine. She ran the coffee and dessert to table 21 and headed to a computer station to print their bill. Suddenly, Anastasia was at her elbow.

  "I hate the new girl," she hissed in Lucy's ear.

  "There's a new girl?" Lucy asked. She had been so busy all night that she hadn't even looked at any other section to see if there were trainees.

  Anastasia stomped her foot in irritation. "The one with the greasy hair who looks like she is going to hang herself at any moment!" Lucy looked up and did see the gangly girl following Nick around training with him. Anastasia was usually dramatic but Lucy had to admit that she was right about this one; the girl did look very depressed. "She just ran a salmon to my table and asked them 'who ordered the fish thing?'" Anastasia raged, "Honestly, is she trying to make me lose money?"

  "What's her name?" Lucy asked.

  "What's who's name?"

  "The new girl." said Lucy starting to laugh.

  "Her name is 'new girl'," Anastasia raged, "and by tomorrow she will be known as, 'the new girl that never came back to work because Stasia made her cry!'"

  "You are going to Hell Stasia," Lucy was laughing.

  "And you my friend will be there with me," Anastasia grinned, "If you will excuse me, I have a young life to ruin." She headed off on her mission, weaving around servers and customers towards Nick and his poor shadow of a trainee. Lucy pulled her bill from the printer while still watching Anastasia. She laughed to herself as she pulled out a pen from her apron to sign her bill when she froze, pen suspended in mid air.

  Nathaniel sat at one of the tables by the pass through, smiling at her. He wore jeans and a tight black t-shirt. He looked amazing. His face was as beautiful as it had been 12 hours before. His eyes glistened with the smile on his handsome face. Lucy had two very mixed feelings; she was horrified and yet elated to see him. She could not stop her heart from fluttering and her palms from sweating at the thrill of seeing him again. She could not stop herself from wishing that she could run to him and hug him tightly. With that, though, came a mental horror. She was having a hallucination, for the third time in twenty four hours.

  A busser named Kim was walking past and Lucy stopped her. "Hey Kim, can you do me a favor?" Lucy asked lightly.

  "Sure," Kim said shrugging.

  "Bring this bill to the guy sitting at 43 please." Lucy handed Kim the billfold and waited. Kim took it, nodded and started to walk towards table 43. She stopped.

  "Hey Lucy, are you new? Did you forget your table numbers?" Kim asked jovially.

  "Why?" Lucy asked swallowing hard.

  "There isn't anyone sitting at 43. It's empty. Where do you want this to go?"

  "Ha," Lucy said trying to sound normal. "Just kidding, thanks Kim, don't worry about it." Kim shrugged and walked away.

  The blood began to pulse in Lucy's ears so hard it drowned out the pumping music. Her throat went dry, her hands began to shake and tears began to blur her vision. She blinked them back trying to will her self back to sanity. He's not real. He's not real. He doesn't exist. He doesn't exist. Breathe. Breathe. Lucy realized that she had been holding her breath and released a huge lungful of air.

  Nathaniel's facial expression changed to concern and he walked over to her. "Lucy?" he said with worry. He was standing beside her but Lucy didn't look at him, she stared straight ahead. "Lucy, are you alright?"

  "You aren't real," she managed to mutter between clenched teeth, "You aren't real." He nodded as if this confirmed something for him.

  "I assure you Lucy that I am very real," he reached out as if to prove this to her but she flinched away.

  "Go away, get out of my head," she turned on her heel and walked quickly back to her section. She billed table 21, cleared plates from 22 and collected a visa card from 23. Lucy didn't even look at any of her tables while doing this. Keep it together. He doesn't exist. Lucy went to the computer in the pass-through to run through the Visa card.

  "Lucy," he was behind her this time, leaning over her shoulder. She could feel his breath on her neck and an involuntary shudder coursed down her spine.

  "Not real, not here, ignore it," she whispered to herself.

  "I am telling you Lucy," he said with confidence, "I am completely real." She felt him put his hands on her shoulders and ran his thumbs up the back of her neck. Heat radiated from him and
Lucy felt her muscles relax in response. It took everything she had not to lean back into him, close her eyes and become enveloped in his tenderness. Lucy instead stiffened and rolled her shoulders violently, shaking him off.

  "Lucy?" Shawn called her from the opposite end of the pass-through. Please ask about the dude man-handling me. Please. "You're cut, finish your tables and get off my clock," Shawn didn't wait for a response but walked away to cut more staff in preparation for the end of the rush. It was usually at this point that Lucy would offer to take over for another server to be able to stay longer. For once, she could not wait to get out of the building.

  "Lucy," Nathaniel said softly. She ignored him and turned abruptly to the restaurant. She billed her last table and cleared the last of their plates. She managed to smile and wish them a good night. Lucy only had a few side duties to do and then she could leave. She could leave and mourn the loss of her sanity and her life, as she knew it. This might be the last night she worked. This might have been her last day of school. It was all over now. She had to hold it together for a little while longer. No one could see her lose it. She would go home, call Doctor Hannon and he would take her to the hospital and make sure that she was well taken care of. She walked to the computer in the corner to settle her checks and print off her cash out report. Nathaniel appeared beside her seconds later.

  "Please leave me alone," she said begging in a whisper.

  "Look," he said, "I am real and I can prove it to you. Watch." He walked calmly over to the doorway to the pass-through. It was by far the busiest, most crowded spot in the restaurant. There was a constant flow of servers, bussers, hostesses and managers coming and going with plates and trays full of food. To stop and stand there was something akin to a death wish. If you didn't actually get knocked down, you would certainly receive a tongue lashing from someone who had to go around you. Nathaniel stopped, turned, crossed his arms and stared directly at Lucy to prove his point. Lucy assumed that everyone would just walk right through him but that didn't happen.