by Laurie Lyons
It was obvious that no one could see Nathaniel. He was certainly a guy that would get noticed. It was clear though that they knew something was there. Lucy watched as staff members moved around Nathaniel, without even realizing that they were doing it. It looked like someone had thrown a rock in a river and forced the water to change its path. Lucy watched in amazement as Shawn, his hands piled with dirty plates, did a graceful pirouette in an effort to avoid Nathaniel. No one around Shawn seemed to notice this bizarre behavior.
Nathaniel looked at Lucy expectantly and then held up one finger. There's more? Lucy thought. He walked a few feet over to where Anastasia was setting up a coffee tray. She set out two cups and reached over to fill a bowl with creamers. She then bent down to retrieve a new sugar caddy from the shelf below the counter. When she wasn't looking, Nathaniel picked up the coffee pot, filled the cups and set the pot back down. Anastasia rose, and reached for the pot. She paused as she realized that the cups were already full, glanced around and seeing no one in the vicinity, shrugged and carried her tray away. Nathaniel put both hands out, faced them palms upward as though he had just performed a magic trick. He walked back to Lucy, "See? I am real." A million questions flooded her mind but Lucy held them at bay.
She took a deep breath and muttered, "Fine, you are real. For right now though I am at work and will get fired if they see me talking to myself like a crazy person. Please wait outside for me." Nathaniel grinned, thrilled with this. Lucy watched as he walked back out through the front doors, customers and staff walked around him without even knowing he was there.
Lucy was on the brink of hysteria while doing her side duties. She stocked the straws and teas and took out the garbage while barely holding herself together. The fact that Nathaniel was a solid object did not change anything. Lucy was the only one who could see him. She ignored the ridiculous emotional voice in her head that was rejoicing that he was real and he had come to find her. She instead focused on the serious, solid voice that was urging her not to get too involved but figure this out and make him go away. The two voices seemed to be having a war in her head and the stress of it was going to crack Lucy in half. She finally finished her duties and managed to balance her cash out. She grabbed her belongings from the staff room, didn't say goodbye to anyone and bolted out the back door.
Lucy headed for the bus stop. She didn't look around for him and within seconds she could hear his footfalls as he reached her and fell into step at her side. "Lucy I…" he started. Lucy did not break her step or look at him,
"I have no interest in looking like a mental case even if I am going crazy. Do not talk to me until we are alone."
"You aren't going crazy," he said with conviction.
"Stop!" she almost yelled at him.
"Sorry," he muttered. He tucked his hands in his jeans pockets and dropped his head like a scolded puppy. Why did he have to be so cute? They sat at the bus stop side by side. Lucy stared into the night thinking of all the questions she would ask him and making a massive effort not to look at him. Nathaniel sat at her side, his elbows resting on his knees. He didn't seem uncomfortable or awkward. In fact, Lucy had never met anyone who seemed more comfortable in his own skin. She could feel him beside her and when a breeze blew by she could smell him – that wonderful sea salt, honey smell.
The bus pulled up and Lucy almost clawed the doors open in an effort to get some distance between she and Nathaniel. The bus was mostly empty. Lucy headed to the back and Nathaniel followed. Lucy sat in the last row in the corner by the window. Nathaniel moved as if to sit beside her but Lucy pointed covertly to her left. A look of amusement crossed his face but he obeyed – walked three feet over and sat down. The bus lurched forward and Lucy looked out the window. A few moments later, the bus stopped to admit another passenger. The man who got on was disheveled and filthy. His hair was matted and stuck up at all angles and his clothing was ripped and dirty. The man was talking to himself.
Actually, he was arguing with him self, "You're wrong! That is how it happened. You have it all wrong!" he stated as he showed his bus pass and walked down the aisle, "I did not do that! That was you!" He took a seat a few rows ahead of Lucy, "How could you pin that on me? Not me, not me, not me!" Lucy saw the bus driver roll his eyes in the rear view mirror before pulling out. Lucy raised her eyebrows and looked at Nathaniel.
He got the point immediately and laughed out loud, "No Lucy," he said shaking his head, "That guy is actually crazy." Lucy snorted in response and looked back out the window. They rode the rest of the short drive in silence back to the University. Lucy got off at her stop and walked quickly back to her dorm. Nathaniel walked at an easy gait beside her. She entered the building and took the stairs two at a time, rushed down the hall not pausing beside Vanessa's door to knock and yell, "Lucy's home for the night!"
"Ok babe!" came the muffled voice from inside.
"With an invisible man," Lucy mumbled to herself. She got to her door, fished her keys out of her bag and unlocked it. Lucy took a step in her room and felt Nathaniel behind her. She turned to him, "I need to change, wait out here." She sounded calmer then she felt. She closed the door on him. As she pulled off her uniform and pulled on a pair of sweats and a tank top she wondered what would happen if she didn't open the door. Would he stand out there all night? If he did stand there all night was it because he wanted to or because he was on a mission to drive her mad? There were so many questions and so much she needed to know. While she pulled her mass of red curls into a pony-tail, Lucy thought of her list of questions for Nathaniel. She had a game plan firmly in place before she opened the door.
Nathaniel was still there with a small smile on his gorgeous face but he was holding two coffees and a paper bag. "Hungry?" he asked as if this was a study date. Lucy realized that she was starving. Today she had only eaten a donut and two bites of a sandwich at lunch. That seemed like days ago. She recognized the cups from the café downstairs; he must have run down while she was changing. That was sweet of him. She sternly reminded herself that sweet or not, he was not real.
"Did you steal that stuff?"
Nathaniel looked shocked and insulted. "Of course not."
"Then how did you pay for it?" Lucy demanded.
"I left money in the register," he explained calmly, "with a tip."
"Oh," Lucy said feeling like a jerk.
"Can I come in?" he asked holding up the food like a peace offering. She didn't answer but moved aside. He walked in and looked around. "Nice," he said with the same tone that implied this was a social call.
"Look," Lucy demanded, "I'm going to need some answers here." To her dismay, Nathaniel shook his head.
"First we eat," he said with authority, "I am hungry and so are you. I don't want you to be hungry."
"Fine," she pouted. This was not going well. She thumped down on the couch to show her displeasure. Nathaniel set the coffees down on her side table and pulled two turkey sandwiches, two bags of chips and two bottles of water from the bag and set them all in between them on the couch.
"I cooked all day," he joked. Lucy stopped herself from laughing. He looked amused at her for a moment but said nothing. They ate in silence. Lucy was on pins and needles but Nathaniel still looked completely content and comfortable. Lucy finished her late dinner and balled up the wrappings and tossed them in the bag.
"So…" he said conversationally, "how was the rest of your day?" Lucy stiffened, rage coursed through her. How dare he make light of this whole thing?
"It was horrible!" she shot at him, her voice full of venom.
"Oh," he said surprised. Tears started to prick at her eyes again but she stopped them reminding herself that crying would only make things worse. She rounded on him.
"I woke up this morning in a really good mood because I had met this awesome guy last night but I soon discovered that I had made him up in my head so I went and scared the crap out of my friends and my mentor. Then I decided that I wasn't crazy, I was just tired so I go to wo
rk and discover that the guy isn't imaginary, he's just invisible to everyone but me so I am not fully crazy, but there is something definitely wrong with me. There is something so wrong with me that even if I am not crazy I will be by the time I wake up in the morning so yeah pal, I had a pretty crappy day!" She was out of breath from her tirade and sat breathing heavily, waiting for a reaction.
"So…" he asked starting to smile, "I'm the guy right?"
"ARGH!" Lucy growled and threw herself against the back of the couch in frustration.
"Lucy, Lucy," he leaned over to her, she shied back, "I was just kidding, calm down it's going to be ok." She glared at him sourly. He reached back and picked up her coffee. While handing it to her he said, "I've eaten, you've eaten, let's get to the bottom of this together ok?" She took a sip of her coffee and began to calm down which angered her again because she was listening to him. She curbed her anger and took a deep breath.
"Ok, I need some answers," she said calmly.
"All right," he replied professionally.
"From you."
"Got it," he leaned back and crossed one ankle over his knee. "I promise to answer what I can."
"Good." Lucy nodded. She was in control now. This is what she wanted, an interrogation, information, facts and knowledge. This was what she could do - she could get answers. She decided to start at the basics.
"Are you alive?"
"Yes," he answered while checking his pulse.
"Please don't joke," she said sternly.
"Sorry," he replied soberly.
"Are you a ghost?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." So there went her 'I see dead people' theory. Time to move on.
"What is your name?"
"Nathaniel."
"What is your last name?"
"Last name?" he looked up at the ceiling thinking, "I don't know."
"You don't know or don't have one?" Lucy prodded.
"I don't know and I don't know if I have one."
"How old are you?"
He glanced down at himself, "Nineteen?"
"You're guessing," she said irritated.
"Yes," he said with conviction. Lucy sighed. It appeared that her invisible man also had amnesia. The irony of the two of them together in the same room did not escape her.
"Where did you come from?"
"I don't know for sure."
"How did you get here?" Nathaniel lit up pleased that he knew the answer to this one.
"I fell."
"You fell?" she stared at him.
"I fell." he repeated.
"You fell from where?"
"Well from higher up obviously." He cocked his head, "That's how I fell."
"Ok," Lucy began to build a theory, "so you fell, hit your head, became invisible and have amnesia."
"Good theory," he said quickly while nodding, his dark hair glinting in the light "let's go with that and talk about you."
"No," Lucy was stern, "I am not even remotely close to done."
"Ok," he said sitting back on the couch, "Go."
She paused and rethought. "What happened before you fell?"
"I had a dream," A smile touched the edges of his lips.
"A dream?" Lucy asked dubiously, "What was the dream about?"
"You," his face broke out in a full grin.
"Me?" Lucy was stunned, "What was I doing?"
"We were in a park, we were laughing and you were taking pictures."
"Oh," Lucy thought that sounded nice, "I was taking pictures?"
"Yes, of me, the scenery, everything," he replied. "That's why I was so surprised about your photographic memory."
"I see," Lucy said. At least the dream made some sense, "So how soon after the dream did you fall?"
"Right away."
Lucy had no more questions about the dream, or none that would be appropriate to ask. "Am I the only one who can see you?"
"It appears that way, yes."
"Why me?"
"I don't know."
"Did you know yesterday that I was the only one who could see you?"
"No, I didn't," he shook his head to confirm.
"When did you figure that out?"
"Today," he replied. "I had some awkward moments."
"That was the theory you were trying to prove," she said as the pieces fell into place together. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"You still would have freaked out and most likely not believed me." She agreed with that.
"Do you have a wallet?"
"No."
"Jewelry?"
"No," he said checking his wrists to be sure.
"Scars, identifying marks, tattoos?"
"No, no and no."
"Were you looking for something last night?" she asked, "You seemed to be looking around."
"Maybe," he shrugged.
"Looking for what?"
"I don't know."
"What did you mean last night when you said you hadn't used your voice in a while."
"That's how it felt."
"Why hadn't you used your voice?"
"I don't know," he shrugged again. Lucy changed her line of questioning again. She was getting desperate for any information at all.
"Why don't people run into you if they can't see you?" Nathaniel took a moment to think.
"I believe they sense something is there and the subconscious mind reacts for them."
"Why didn't Anastasia become more concerned when the coffees filled themselves? She's not a dumb girl, why didn't she even question it? Why didn't anyone see a coffee pot floating in the air?"
"Well," he said thoughtfully, "I discovered today that anything I am holding becomes invisible too so that's why no one saw a floating coffee pot. Anastasia didn't question the coffee because the human mind assumes that which is most logical. Anastasia assumed she had filled the cups herself and just forgot about it."
"Does that work for me too?" Lucy questioned. "If you touched me, would I become invisible too?"
"Nope," he shook his head, his jet black hair glinting in the light, "I tested that today too. While your 'friend' Janielle was talking to you, I touched your arm. You didn't disappear."
This was not getting better and Lucy was getting more frustrated as each second passed. "Can I see you because of my photographic memory? Does this have anything to do with my particular brain?"
"I don't know," he said. Lucy was getting frustrated.
"Do you have a mother?"
"Everyone has a mother," he replied with certainty.
"Who is she?"
"I don't know." Nathaniel shrugged.
"Father?" Lucy probed.
"No idea."
"Friends, cousins, a boss?"
"Sorry, I've got nothing."
"What is your purpose here?"
At this, Nathaniel showed his first signs of frustration. "That," he said tersely, "is what I am trying to find out." He paused. "Look Lucy, we can do this all night if you want. I just really enjoy your company either way." He smiled at her but stopped when he got a look of coldness in return. "But the answer is generally going to be that 'I don't know. I have almost no idea of what is going on. I am frustrated too but at the same time there is no reason to act on it. I can only assume that the answers will come when I am ready for them. I just have to have faith." Lucy looked at him stunned. Such a zen-like approach was totally out of her realm of capabilities. She decided to ignore his point all together.
"What do you do?"
"I don't know."
"Do you have anything to do with the flowers in the quad? I also found a leaf in my Shakespeare Anthology."
"I don't know."
She moved on again, "Where did you get the money to pay for the food?"
"I don't know."
"Did you steal it?" she asked this casually, trying to get him to admit to something.
"I am no thief," he replied quickly and sternly.
"How do you know you aren't a thief?"<
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"That much I do know," he sounded like he was sure about that answer. She was out of questions and had no more information then when she started. She tightened her jaw. This wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Nathaniel should literally fall into her life, cause chaos and have no answers for it. She began firing questions at a rapid rate, barely waiting for the answer. She purposefully repeated some questions in an effort to catch him in a lie.
"How old are you?"
"I don't know."
"Where were you born?"
"I don't know."
"What is your mother's maiden name?"
"I don't know."
"What do you do for a living?"
"I don't know."
"Is someone looking for you?"
"I don't know."
"Why are you here?"
"I don't know."
"How do you get back from where you came from?"
"I don't know."
"Why me?"
"I don't know."
Lucy finally, after a long day of holding it together, cracked. Her mask of composure began to break. Her anger, frustration and pain spilled out of the crack in a wave.
"STOP SAYING THAT!" she yelled.
"Saying what?" his eyes widened in shock.
"THAT!"
"What?" he said, desperately as if he would do anything to please her.
"Stop saying 'I don't know'!"
"But Lucy," Nathaniel said pleadingly, "I don't know and I wish I did. I know this is very…"
"I HATE THOSE WORDS!" she yelled at him. Lucy's walls were made of concrete and although it made her room very susceptible to temperature changes, it also allowed her to scream her head off and her floor mates could not hear her.
"You hate the words, 'I don't know'?" he was speaking softly like how you would talk to an angry caged animal. Right now that was exactly what Lucy felt like. "Why?"
"Because I've never said them!" she stood up and started to pace, "I know everything!" she raged. "I know more than anyone at this University or in this town. I know all the answers, I always have. Always. What I need to know, I learn and then I have it. Forever. I know the periodic table, the migrating patterns of the monarch butterfly, the complete works of Shakespeare and how a refrigerator works! I know the name of every star in the solar system, I know the name of every country in the world and its capitol and its gross national product, I know all the presidents and how a carburetor operates, I know the complete history of Ghingas Khan and Ghandi and Mozart. I know the rules of polo and how to make wine! I know everything!" her voice began to break and a sob forced its way to the surface, "EVERYTHING! But I don't know this!" she slammed her foot on the ground, "and I don't know you!" she pointed violently at him, he did not flinch, "I don't know what's going on and I need the answers and I can't…. I can't…" she sobbed again, an ugly guttural sob, "I can't get them…and…I feel like I am breaking…" she couldn't finish. Lucy was exhausted from her tirade and she staggered back to the couch and fell on it. She put her head in her hands and let the cry come.