Feather

by Laurie Lyons

  "The watch is new," Lucy observed.

  "Yup," he replied while stretching out his arm to admire it. The watch had a silver face and a brown leather strap. It was exactly the type of watch Lucy would have bought for him. "I needed it to be on time tonight."

  "But you were late," Lucy said with a laugh in her voice.

  "Sorry about that, I had something I had to take care of."

  "What?"

  "You'll see."

  They were in the lobby now so Lucy let go of his hand and stopped talking. They made their way up the stairs to the theatre. When Lucy walked in her heart sank. All the good seats were taken. The only seats left were the back row and the balcony. Lucy had wanted to sit closer so she could see Anastasia better. They should have left earlier and Lucy was very disappointed. Nathaniel pointed to the second row. Lucy couldn't even see it they were so far away.

  "It will be full," she muttered under her breath but Nathaniel was already walking in front of her down the steps. She sighed and followed. He stopped at the second row and when Lucy caught up to him he said,

  "Would you look at that? What luck." In the middle of the row were two vacant seats with a reserved sign on them.

  "Did you do that?" Lucy asked not moving her lips.

  "I knew you would want a good seat," he said motioning for her to move into the row. Lucy started to make her way past all the irritated people already in their seats. She looked back over her shoulder to see how Nathaniel was doing but he wasn't there. Lucy looked forward again to see him sitting in one of the seats like he had been there all day.

  "Could you teach me that trick?" Lucy asked quietly when she reached him.

  "Sorry, it's secret Angel stuff," he said smirking as she sat down. Lucy opened her program and pretended to be reading it while she talked.

  "So this is why you were late?"

  "This and that," he said pointing under her seat. Lucy looked and saw a huge bunch of gorgeous white roses tied together with a long piece of thick grass. "I thought I would get her flowers if it's ok with you and if of course you give them to her for me." Lucy couldn't believe it. Could he get any better?

  "You are very thoughtful, thank you," she said, her voice choking up with emotion.

  "Anything for you," he leaned over and kissed her fingers holding the program.

  The lights dimmed and the audience went silent. The head of the Fine Arts Department walked out on stage. She introduced herself, thanked everyone for coming and recognized the teachers and choreographers sitting in the audience.

  "Are you nervous?" Nathaniel asked in Lucy's ear. She felt his breath on her neck and she shuddered.

  "Very. This is a big night for her."

  Nathaniel reached over and squeezed her hand, "You're a good friend."

  "She's a good friend to me," Lucy muttered getting much better at not moving her lips. The department head left the stage and immediately, the curtain opened. The first number was a group jazz piece. Anastasia was one of many and Lucy had to casually point her out to Nathaniel amongst the fifty other identical costumes. Other numbers followed, hip hop, more jazz, ballet and two more smaller group numbers. Finally the last piece finished and Lucy took a deep breath.

  "Is this it?" Nathaniel asked and Lucy only nodded in response. Anastasia was dancing a contemporary piece. It was the story of a man trying to leave his girlfriend and her desperation to keep him. Anastasia had to display all the emotions that one would go through; pain, hate, love, panic while dancing the choreography perfectly.

  The curtains opened to Anastasia curled upon a simple wooden chair wearing nothing but a white t-shirt and panties, her hair loose and wild. The song choice was 'Halleluiah' by Rufus Wainwright and as the piano started to play, Anastasia lifted her head. The audience gasped at the anguish in her face as her male counterpart Frances entered from stage right. He wore only a white pair of shorts. Anastasia had described Frances as 'strong as an ox but as boring as the day is long'. It was good that he was strong because the first thing he did was pick up Anastasia's chair with her in it straight over his head and tip her out of it. She spilled out on the floor landing in a crouch and Frances threw the chair aside.

  They danced in unison for several counts, each muscle moving in harmony. Anastasia threw herself at Frances and wrapped her arms and legs around his torso, he spun, arms out, not holding on to her until she again fell to the floor, this time in a heap on her side. The dance continued with Stasia clinging and grasping at Frances as he continuously pushed and clawed her away. Both dancers showed the pain of losing each other and not being able to stay together. At one point, Anastasia took a running leap at him only for Frances to bend almost completely backward, allowing her to run over his torso and land on the ground above his head. She literally walked all over him.

  The dance was captivatingly powerful and Lucy felt tears well up in her eyes while feeling the characters pain. The dance ended with Anastasia and Frances twisted together on the floor. When the music ended, Frances got up slowly and left Anastasia alone in the fetal position in the spotlight. There was a moment of silence as the curtain closed. Then the entire audience exploded, everyone jumped to their feet clapping and yelling. Lucy stood too, cheering and crying in joy at Anastasia's success. The house lights came up and everyone stopped clapping and reached for their coats to head to the lobby. Lucy flopped back down in her seat and Nathaniel sat back down beside her.

  "That was amazing," he said but Lucy held up one hand to silence him.

  "Shhh," she whispered, "listen." They heard a chorus of voices around them. Lucy listened carefully,

  "What's that girls name? She's extraordinary," one person said.

  "That girl at the end was fantastic," said another. Lucy grinned and looked at Nathaniel.

  "I wanted to hear everyone talking about how great she is so I can tell her all about it later. I am so proud of her."

  "Interesting song choice," Nathaniel said with a half smile.

  "Was there a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord?" Lucy asked.

  Nathaniel laughed, "I'll ask him the next time I see him." He smiled at her. "Thank you for inviting me. I loved it."

  "I wouldn't want to be here without you," Lucy replied realizing how true that was. "Let's go see her."

  They walked into the now packed lobby and they discovered in this situation it was better if Nathaniel walked ahead of Lucy. People involuntarily moved out of his way and this created a bubble of space around them. Lucy glided through the crowded room with ease. Nathaniel preferred this method as well over following Lucy around as if he were an invisible shadow. He moved through the crowd with confidence protectively checking on Lucy every few steps. He stopped when he heard a voice call Lucy's name. They turned to see Paige and Nick making their way through the crowd towards them.

  "Wasn't that awesome?" Paige beamed.

  "The other stuff was boring," Nick offered and Paige rolled her eyes. "But Anastasia was wicked." Simon and Suzanne appeared beside them with the same sentiments. Lucy felt like she was being rude not including Nathaniel in the conversation and ignoring him. A well-dressed couple appeared beside them. It was Anastasia's parents, James and Carol Rooke. Anastasia was the carbon copy of her mother so naturally, her mother looked like a movie star. She had dark brown hair styled in a French twist, deep blue eyes and a gorgeous youthful smile. Her father had silver close-cropped hair and a goatee to match. James Rooke was a partner in a law firm in Chicago. Carol Rooke was board of director for numerous charities.

  Anastasia had said that the only argument she had ever had with her parents was over her decision to attend Mulbridge. They could not understand why Stasia had wanted to go to this small University when she could attend NYU or even Harvard. Anastasia had felt that she needed to branch out on her own and Mulbridge was the only school that the Rooke's had never contributed financially to. The pair looked like they dripped money but like Anastasia, they did not act like it. They joined t
he group easily and greeted everyone.

  "Which one of you taught that girl to dance?" Simon asked. The couple laughed as they both pointed to Carol.

  "I have two left feet," James Rooke explained. "Her mother was in charge of the dancing."

  "Not like we had a choice," Carol piped in. "One of her first words was 'dance'". James Rooke took his wife's hand in his own and lifted it smoothly to his face and kissed it. Mrs. Rooke smiled at him lovingly. It was a sweet moment and the friends all smiled. Lucy felt Nathaniel bend over slightly and kiss the top of her head.

  Suddenly, Mr. Rooke's eyes snapped up and he glared at a spot just above Lucy's head. His face went pale and he gasped in shock. Lucy felt Nathaniel stiffen behind her and he didn't move his lips from her head, he held his breath. The group all turned to see what he was staring at but it was obvious from their blank stares that they saw nothing.

  Lucy was the first to speak, "Mr. Rooke, are you alright?" He didn't respond but just kept staring and squinting his eyes in confusion. Lucy's heart started to race. Could Mr. Rooke see Nathaniel?

  Carol looked at him her face full of concern, "James, honey what's the matter?" She kept looking over Lucy's head too and back to Mr. Rooke in an effort to see what he was seeing. His wife's voice seemed to have an effect because Mr. Rooke snapped out of his trance immediately. He composed his face and even managed a small laugh. Lucy felt Nathaniel relax too and start to breathe again. He slowly straightened up.

  "Sorry darling, I just thought I saw something," he said shaking his head to dismiss the topic.

  "What did you see Mr. Rooke?" Lucy asked quickly.

  He laughed and shook his head, "Nothing Lucy, I'm just getting old that's all." He smiled warmly at her but still cast a wary glance over her head as if expecting something frightening to appear. He began to turn away but Lucy reached forward and touched his arm stopping him.

  "Did you see something or did you see someone?" Her friends all stared at her. Lucy knew she was being rude but she didn't care.

  "I didn't see anything at all Lucy," Mr. Rooke said firmly. She began to press further but Nathaniel grabbed her upper arms tightly.

  "Let it go," he said quickly in her ear. Lucy didn't think she could let it go. Mr. Rooke had seen Nathaniel; she knew it and Nathaniel knew it. She went to ask again by taking a deep breath and starting to lean forward again but Nathaniel squeezed her arms, his heat binding her. "Let it go," he almost growled in her ear. "Trust me," he added. The intensity of his voice got through to her and she stopped. Lucy's anger flared; she did not like being handled or told what to do.

  The theatre doors opened and the cast came spilling down the stairs to the applause of their friends and family. Anastasia and Frances had the great honor of being last and the pair paused at the top of the stairs to take a bow. Nathaniel finally loosed his grip on Lucy so she could tuck the flowers under her arm and clap. Anastasia had changed into a stunning purple top and a pair of black cigarette pants. She looked gorgeous as she raced down the stairs to her proud parents. Anastasia hugged everyone in the group leaving Lucy for last. They stood for a minute looking at each other.

  "You did it loser," Lucy said quietly. Tears welled up in Stasia's eyes.

  "I did?" she whispered back.

  "You were flawless," Lucy said. Anastasia leapt forward and threw her arms around Lucy and hugged her tightly. They broke apart and laughed through their tears. Lucy remembered the roses, they were a little squished from the hug but still beautiful. She handed them to Stasia.

  "Oh wow!" Anastasia said while burying her face in the blooms. "They are so gorgeous! Thank you! Where did you get them?"

  "I…um…I've got a guy," was all Lucy could think to say. Anastasia turned back to the circle of friends around her.

  "Thanks for coming guys. Mom, Dad, really, it's awesome."

  "Of course honey," her father said. Lucy saw him again glance over her head anxiously, "I'm just happy you decided to put on some pants."

  Everyone chuckled but Anastasia rolled her eyes, "It's a costume Dad!"

  "A costume my dear, has sequins and ruffles. What you wore tonight in front of five hundred people, was underwear." Anastasia laughed.

  Assuming that they had put in enough time and not wanting to intrude, Nick, Paige, Simon and Suzanne said their goodbyes and left. Lucy chatted a bit more with Anastasia whispering the extra comments she heard in the audience much to Stasia's glee.

  "Hey listen, Mom and Dad are taking me out for a late celebration dinner. Do you want to come?"

  "Say no," Nathaniel ordered from behind her. Lucy jumped a little. She realized that Nathaniel hadn't even moved a muscle in fifteen minutes. He was frozen and barely breathing. Lucy again felt her anger rise. He was telling her what to do and for no good reason. Wouldn't it be a good thing if Mr. Rooke could see Nathaniel? "Please," he added in a softer tone and Lucy couldn't refuse him.

  "Sorry, I can't," she did not miss a look of relief cross Mr. Rooke's face before he changed it into one of disappointment. Anastasia started to protest but Lucy shook her head, "I have class in the morning, unlike some people I know."

  "Ok babe," Anastasia hugged her again. "Do not wake me in the morning." Lucy laughed. All dance classes were cancelled on the Monday following recitals. Lucy said her goodbyes to the Rooke's and made her way to the doors. Nathaniel moved slowly behind her. He was treading cautiously like a stalking lion while keeping his eyes trained on Mr. Rooke. Lucy picked up her pace when they left the building and headed straight for the dorm. Nathaniel caught up with her easily and walked casually at her side. Lucy planned in her head the litany of questions she would fire at him the moment they were alone. She would also make it clear that she was not one to follow blind orders. The incident with Mr. Rooke was yet another thing that Nathaniel had chosen not to share with Lucy.

  She had shared her entire life with him and yet he seemed to be keeping everything a secret. They reached her dorm and Lucy, in a full tantrum now, sprinted up the stairs. Behind her she heard Nathaniel chuckle and follow. Lucy stalked to her room after knocking on Vanessa's door for her nightly check in. She opened the door, stormed in the room and left the door open for him behind her. Lucy stormed to the other side of the room, threw off her coat and turned, hands on her hips, glaring at Nathaniel. He smoothly entered the room, took off his coat and sat on the couch. Lucy took a sharp breath to begin her tirade but he cut her off,

  "Has James Rooke ever had a major accident?" he asked calmly. Lucy stopped short; he had once again caught her off guard. She didn't answer. "It would have been fairly recently, within the last year. A long stay in the hospital perhaps? An illness?" Lucy glared at him. He sighed, "Lucy, do you trust me? I mean really trust me? Do you know that I wouldn't ever lie to you or lead you astray? Do you understand that I am unable to do that, especially to you? Because if you do trust me then answer my questions."

  Lucy knew in her heart that Nathaniel would never deceive her. He was right of course. She was always questioning and always suspicious. That wasn't fair to someone who had never hurt her and plainly didn't have any intentions of doing so. The fight went out of her. She thought of the song choice from Anastasia's dance,

  Maybe I've been here before

  I know this room I've walked this floor

  I used to live alone before I knew you

  I've seen your flag on the marble arch

  Love is not a victory march

  Lucy realized that she didn't have to be right with Nathaniel all the time. She didn't have to fight for every square inch of leverage. She didn't have to win, this wasn't a victory march and it wasn't about getting answers. Lucy didn't want a broken Hallelujah and she didn't want to walk this floor alone anymore. She wanted Nathaniel and in order to have him, she had to trust him.

  Lucy walked over to him, took his face in her hands and kissed him softly on the lips, "I love you," she said staring into his beautiful eyes. "I don't know how I fell in love with you, I don't know why
I fell in love with you, but I know I do. I will love you forever. I give up, I give in, I trust you completely and I will never doubt you." She walked over to her shelf, picked up her pajama's and walked over to the door. She didn't look back at him, "If you feel the same way about me then find yourself some pajamas, you are sleeping over." Lucy opened the door and left for the bathroom.

  When she got back she opened the door and smiled. Nathaniel had set up the bed and was sitting in a pair of blue pajama pants and a tank top on one side of the bed. He was stretched out reading a magazine. He looked totally at home. Lucy crawled in beside him and tucked herself under his arm. Nathaniel kissed the top of her head.

  "Anastasia's father had a massive heart attack last summer," she said. "Stasia almost had to delay school because he was taking so long to recover in the hospital. Please explain to me what happened." Lucy didn't need Nathaniel to respond to her comments a few moments ago. His actions spoke for themselves.

  "Sometimes," he said while playing with her hair. "When people have almost died, they can see things they shouldn't or couldn't before the incident."

  "Like what?"

  "Well, sometimes they have a heightened sense of hearing or smell or sight. Often, they attribute these changes to a renewed love of life but really it is because that for a second, their soul touched Heaven and the soul always retains something from that. It is usually short lived, lasting a maximum of a year or so. Mr. Rooke obviously saw something."

  "Do you think he saw you clearly?"

  "I doubt it, he most likely saw a light or an outline or a glimmer of me."

  "Why did you stop moving? Why didn't you want him to see you?"

  "Lucy," Nathaniel chuckled a little. "The man would have another heart attack if he witnessed a man materializing in thin air." Lucy realized that other people did not want to see Angels; it meant that they were dead. Lucy of course was the exception to this rule. "I am sure you would have told me it you recently…" he added.

  "No," Lucy replied. "No near death experiences for me."