by Anna Antonia
She leaned closer, curling her hand around his chiseled jaw. “I like it. I like it more than I should. Can I tell you something?”
“I’ll be upset if you don’t.”
Victoria took a chance on sharing her fantasy. “I like thinking about you on top of me, one hand in my hair, while you pound me so hard we slide across the bed. You’ll kiss me, whispering how wet I am and how hot it makes you to feel how much I want you.”
Adrian groaned, lowering his eyelids to a half-slit. “And you’ll want me more than anything or anyone, won’t you?”
“Always.”
Adrian undid Victoria’s loose ponytail. “I’m taking you to bed. Tonight.”
Giddy that a decision had been made, Victoria purred as excitement coursed through her veins. She leaned in and linked her arms around his neck. “I know. I can’t wait for it.”
“Hmm, is that so?”
“Yes.”
He fisted his hand in her hair and yanked her head back suddenly. Victoria bit back a cry and watched, mesmerized, as Adrian whispered against her mouth, “Are you on birth control?”
The jealousy and frustration in his gaze elicited a shiver. “No.”
“Good.” He teased the corner of her mouth with a brief kiss. “Then it could happen tonight.” Adrian’s hand pressed into her lower tummy. “You’re going to get round and soft with my son or daughter, Victoria. Everyone will see that you’re mine.”
“I don’t need to be pregnant to be yours, Adrian.”
He pulled back. An expression of deep sadness settled on his handsome face. “Were you ever mine, kitten?”
***
Victoria’s gaze misted. Adrian let go of her hair, hating that he’d exposed himself like that. It was too soon for him to bare his innermost fears and thoughts to her.
Adrian grabbed her by the hand and walked at a fast clip towards her bedroom—the one room he hadn’t been able to tour without thinking about who else might have been there before him.
“Wait! What about the lights and the TV?”
“What about them?”
“I need to turn them off.”
“Screw it. It doesn’t matter.” Adrian pushed open the door and pulled Victoria in behind him. He closed it gently, not wanting to accidently wake up their daughter. Adrian locked it and then picked Victoria up.
She murmured his name, uncertainty rounding each syllable. Adrian opened his arms and dropped her on the bed. He instantly crouched over her, a strong thigh on either side of her, and held Victoria’s wrists in his hands.
The color on her face was the same shade of pink that excited him so much in the beginning. Adrian was still as fascinated with her innocence now as he was then. The only difference was that now her innocence was an illusion.
“Let me go for a second, Adrian.”
He tightened his fingers. “Why?”
She gestured at the nightstand with her chin. “I need to turn the baby monitor on. We’ll be able to hear if Adriana wakes up.”
Anger lit a dark, dangerous spark. “Have you had to turn it on often, kitten?” Just the idea that she’d fucked other men in this very room made him want to round them all up and beat their faces to a bloody pulp.
“What do you mean?” She tilted her head in a way that he usually found endearing. He wasn’t in the mood at the moment.
“How many men have you brought here and fucked while our daughter lay asleep?”
Victoria’s face whitened with shock and more than a touch of outrage. “How dare you?”
“Answer the fucking question!”
She wiggled beneath him, trying her best to buck him off. Adrian wasn’t budging. “I don’t have to answer anything, Adrian!” Before he could hiss out another demand, Victoria coldly asked, “How about you answer it first? Have you been faithful to me all these years, Adrian?”
His gut felt like she’d just taken a bat to it. Disgust for the soulless assignations he’d had over the years made Adrian acutely ashamed of himself. He had no right to demand anything out of her and now because of his arrogance, Adrian was going to either have to admit what he’d done or let his silence do it for him.
Silence won out.
Victoria stopped fighting him. She closed her eyes and whispered, “I don’t blame you. Really, I don’t. I always knew you’d move on. So why does it hurt so much to finally face it?”
Adrian let go of her and sat back on his heels. “I don’t have anything to say in my defense, Victoria.” When she stayed silent except for the soft sounds of her crying, Adrian clenched his hands and apologized hoarsely, “I’m sorry for being such an ass. What you did while we were apart wasn’t my business. I had no right to demand that of you. I’m sorry.”
Victoria shook her head and covered her eyes with the back of her hands. “No, you didn’t have a right to ask, but I don’t have any right to be hurt. We weren’t together and it was four years. I couldn’t expect a man like you to be a monk.”
“A man like me?”
She dragged in a wet breath. “Yes, a man like you. A man who is so kind and handsome and so full of love. You have so much love to give, Adrian, and I know it makes me selfish to say this, but I’m so happy that you aren’t married or dating anyone. Above all, I’m so glad that you still feel anything good for me after what I did to you and Adriana.”
Adrian wanted to pull her to him so badly. How did he go from rage to lust to Machiavellian glee to this infinite sorrow? “I’m not that good of a person, Victoria.”
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not.” Maybe it was the darkness in the room or the fact that she still covered her eyes, but Adrian felt compelled to confess. “Now I have something to tell you. Will you listen?”
“Y-Yes.”
“I fucked other women since you left me. It took me a while to do it because I was so hung up on you, but eventually I did it. I’ve been on clockwork once a quarter since. Never more than once and rarely the same one.” He heard his voice as she must’ve—cold and lacking any hint of softness.
Victoria bit her lip, obviously choking back a sob. Adrian’s gaze clouded. The room distorted, dipping and swirling crazily like the emotions running through him.
“I’m not telling you this to hurt you, Victoria, even though I know it is. I’m telling you this so you’ll understand.” He waited until she nodded once, still fighting to keep her sobs under control. “I was a bastard to them, barely knowing their names and not giving a damn whether they received pleasure or not. It never lasted more than five minutes before my body was satisfied, but each encounter left me colder. Do you know why? Look at me, Victoria. Please.”
He waited, stretched thin, until she removed her hands. Adrian fell into her watery gaze, miserable that he’d put the sadness there. She stared at him, mute, but visibly wary from what he might say to her.
“I heard that I had changed from the way I was before with my exes, that I was a coldblooded bastard, but truthfully, I really hadn’t changed. I’ve always been a coldblooded bastard. Sure I was nicer, especially with my wealth, but for all my smiles I never let anyone close enough to matter. At least this time I was honest. But I understand why it was like that.”
She sniffled. “Why?”
“Victoria, kitten, they weren’t you. I’m a billionaire and I’ve succeeded in changing the world through my ventures. I could have anything I wanted except for the one person I’ve ever loved. How could I not feel frozen? I never really knew happiness until I met you, Victoria.”
Adrian bowed his head, melancholy possessing him and snuffing out the rage he’d nursed off and on since he found about Adriana.
“That night I asked you to marry me because I was so afraid of losing you. You had the guts to say no because you knew it wasn’t right. But I didn’t even have the guts to fight for you. I just let you slip away. Why would I ever let anyone get close to me after that? Why would I deserve it? Especially when all I wanted was you?”
Victoria shifted beneat
h him, getting onto her knees. Her hands cupped his face and although she still cried, her smile was full of love and understanding. “Adrian, you deserve love more than you’ll ever know. You’re the kindest man I’ve met. All the way from the first time we met.”
“I was nice to you because I wanted to seduce you.”
“I don’t believe that. Yes, you wanted to get in my pants but I wanted to get in yours too. You weren’t nice to me because of that. You were nice because it’s who you are. I’ve met my share of wealthy people, Adrian, and you’re not like them.”
Adrian let out a long, shuddering breath. He buried his face against her neck. “I don’t know what to say, kitten.”
“Then I’ll talk. You changed my world and showed me that there was more than accomplishing goals and working myself into an early grave. You gave me a daughter that I love more than life itself. You are the best thing to have ever happened to me.”
Her words soothed old scars. Adrian still found himself reluctant to believe them. All his justifications over her keeping Adriana a secret from him shriveled. “You think I’m kind even though I threatened you just this morning and every chance I got since?”
“Yes.”
Adrian lifted his head. “You must be the most forgiving woman I’ve ever met then. Even I wouldn’t forgive me if I was you.”
“It’s a good thing you’re not me then.” Victoria wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek beneath his beating heart. “Why shouldn’t I forgive you? I kept Adriana a secret from you because I was so scared you’d reject us. I should’ve been braver but I wasn’t. How can that ever be your fault?”
Strange how their circular conversations took on a different meaning every time they looped back to the beginning.
“Maybe it’s not but it hurts like hell, kitten, to know that you were willing to let our little girl go her whole childhood without knowing me.”
“I’m so sorry. I can’t say it enough. Adrian, I swear I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you’ll let me. I promise.”
“I’m never going to let you go again, kitten. Ever.” He sank his fingers deep in her hair and bent down to capture her lips with his. Adrian kissed her with every ounce of pain and passion he contained.
Victoria moaned, tightening her arms around him as she fought to get closer to him. Her tongue thrust into his open mouth aggressively and her sharp little nails dug into his back sweetly.
Adrian brought her down on the bed and covered her body with his. Supporting himself on his arms, he stared down at her and loved what he saw. Victoria’s large eyes stared back at him, lust gleaming He didn’t want to wait to play with her. He wanted to fuck her raw. Not in anger. Not in punishment.
In love.
He wanted to brand her with his cock. He wanted to mark her with his come. He wanted to fill her up over and over again.
Most of all, Adrian wanted Victoria to never, ever leave him again. He was going to do everything in his power to keep her sated and happy with him. He’d avoid being ruthless as long as he could, but Adrian knew that his need for her was stronger than his need to be a gentleman.
Pained, he wondered if his mind was forever twisted or if he’d ever go back to the confident, cheerful, and laidback man he was before.
The truth whispering its secrets to him promised Adrian that he’d eventually lose her again, even if he managed to chain her by his side, if he couldn’t make peace with their past. As long as he held regret for their past and let the agony continue to fester inside him, eventually Victoria would have no choice but to leave him again.
Fear, that damned emotion that Adrian hadn’t acknowledged or entertained until the threat of Victoria’s absence surfaced, rose up to torment him further.
“What are you thinking?”
Her whisper shook him from him dark thoughts. “I’m thinking about how good it’s going to feel when I’m deep inside you.”
***
Victoria knew Adrian wasn’t being completely honest with her. Anger possessed him while he stared at her and it lashed her heart. She could’ve sworn they’d made progress in the last few minutes, but it wasn’t enough.
That’s okay. I’m in this for the long haul. I just need to do everything I know how to do to make him happy. And sex is the one thing we always made right.
Victoria spread her legs and brought her hips up to rub against his hard length. “I can’t wait until I can come around your cock again bare again. Nothing between us.”
Adrian’s nostrils flared slightly. “What else can’t you wait for?”
“I can’t wait until I suck you deep in my mouth. I’ve always loved sucking you, Adrian, especially when you lick me too.”
He inhaled sharply. “I love the taste of you on my tongue. It’s so good, just like honey.”
Victoria tugged at his belt, beyond eager to free him for her mouth. “It hasn’t even been a day and I’m already hungry for you.”
Adrian covered her hands with his. “Slow down, kitten. We’re doing things my way, remember?”
Victoria couldn’t control her pout. Thankfully, it only seemed to amuse him.
“Adrian?”
“Hmm?”
“The answer is no one.”
He cocked his head, eyes bright with incomprehension until it dawned on him.
“No one?”
“No one. Ever.”
Primal male satisfaction overtook Adrian. He seized Victoria and branded her with his kiss, not leaving her until she could barely think or speak. Then he crouched over her and tugged up her shirt with his teeth. Adrian kissed the exposed skin over her belly gently.
“Now, let’s make a baby.”
TWENTY-THREE
It was another morning but nothing like the ones proceeding it. Adrian woke up sometime after four and couldn’t go back to sleep. The house was quiet and his thoughts were anything but.
Even now she might be pregnant.
Adrian put his hand on Victoria’s stomach, feeling the heat of her through the thin cotton nightgown. After they’d made love for the third time, Victoria had pulled him into the shower to clean up and get dressed for bed. When he’d raised a brow and said, “We’ve always slept naked,” she’d smiled and explained, “Sometimes Adriana likes to sleep with me late at night. I don’t want her to come in and find us like this.”
He heartily agreed and ended up sleeping in his dress pants and one of his old t-shirts that Victoria had pilfered when she originally left. The blush on her face was enough to keep him from teasing her into oblivion.
There were so many things he had to learn about being part of a family. Never mind the fact that he’d officially had one his whole life, Victoria’s little tribe was far different from him own.
He would’ve never been comfortable or welcomed into his parents room. Either one since they slept in separate rooms for almost as long as he remembered. But even though he’d only been a real father for less than a day, Adrian couldn’t imagine letting Adriana grow up the way he and his brother Gavin had.
That’s what getting married for money and power will do to you. It makes you bitter and hard. So does staying because you feel trapped.
Sitting up in Victoria’s bed, he heard the pitter-patter of feet shortly before the door eased open. Immediately, he was grateful for Victoria’s foresight. Adrian smiled and whispered Adriana’s name. She barely paused, so fixated was she on climbing into bed and snuggling right next to her mother. Half-asleep, Victoria shifted back towards him, easily making room for their daughter. Adriana was back to sleep within seconds and so was Victoria.
Adrian turned on his side and looked at his girls. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for them.
Including letting them go if I need to?
Now where did that treacherous thought come from? Adrian couldn’t imagine the situation that would call for it. Still, his mind worriedly circled around him and his brother’s upbringing. What did he know ab
out raising a healthy family?
I can learn. I can do anything I want as long as I put my mind to it.
The words stitched themselves to his mind when they got up together a couple of hours later. Adrian watched the controlled chaos of getting an independent three year old ready for school while getting yourself ready and making breakfast.
“Can you get her some toast and cereal?”
Adrian hopped to it, absurdly pleased to do something to help both of his precious girls. He sat on the couch next to his daughter while she watched TV and ate her breakfast. Adrian took a bite of toast when Adriana shoved it near his mouth. “Do you want some, Daddy?”
He took a bite. Satisfaction filled him when he saw how happy it made her. Adriana was so much like her mother in that way. It was always the littlest things that made his kitten so happy.
Adrian himself was also very happy with the world. He’d arranged for his calendar to be cleared for the rest of the week. Most importantly though, Adrian already had a security detail in place for Adriana. That would most likely not come as a surprise to Victoria, but he’d mention it to her to make sure.
Speaking of his most beloved woman in the world, Victoria came in a few minutes later dressed and looking breathtakingly beautiful. How did she manage to look so put together after the lusty night they spent together?
Adrian knew he wasn’t going to be immaculate on the plane trip back, but he didn’t mind. So what if his clothes were rumpled and every hair wasn’t in place? He and Victoria were back together and they had a daughter with hopefully another sibling on the way for her. If not now, soon. And on top of all that, Adrian was getting married to the only woman he’d ever loved or ever would love.
Today was going to be the best day of his life.
The plane trip back was far different than the one yesterday. This time Victoria sat next to him, her hand held tightly in his. She kissed him more than once, but only when the steward wasn’t around.
“We should be back home around six, right?”
Unable to keep from touching her, Adrian lifted her hand and kissed it. “Definitely.”
“Good because I hate leaving Adriana any more than I have to. Although Kathy can keep her as long as necessary if things run over. I’ll just need to call her if anything changes.”