At a stop sign Ian peered at Annie. Being around the new nanny made him want to know all about her. He knew how she was with children, but she held part of herself back when they talked. Why? “What did you do as a child?”
“I was like Jade. Sports and camping. I was on the high school softball team until...” Her words faded into silence, and she averted her face.
“Did something happen?” Ian wanted to know what made Annie love children so much. She had a gift with them. In five days she had won over Jade and Joshua and was making progress with Jasmine. He hoped Jeremy would follow suit.
“I lost interest. That’s all.” Annie looked at him. “How about you?”
Ian glimpsed a flicker of sadness in her eyes, but it quickly disappeared. For some reason, he sensed it was more than losing interest that made her quit softball in high school. What? “After softball did you do something else?”
“No.” Her tone was abrupt, tense. As if she was slamming a door in his face.
A car behind him honked. Forcing a chuckle to lighten the mood, Ian drove across the intersection. “I guess I should be paying more attention. I didn’t know someone pulled up behind us. To answer your earlier question, I was a science geek and two years ahead of others my age. I went to college at sixteen, which I wouldn’t recommend to others. I felt lost and socially behind, so I buried my head in my books.”
“When did that change?”
“Who said it has changed?” Ian grinned.
“Ian, I’ve been around you for the past five days, and I haven’t seen a lost and socially behind guy.”
“Thank you. At least I think it was a compliment. Zoe, my wife, changed everything. She forced me to adapt because she loved the social life.” He remembered their first meeting his senior year in high school. For the first year after her death, he couldn’t even think about her without being swallowed in grief. Ian was thankful now he could think and talk about her without getting depressed.
“The kids don’t say too much about their mom.”
For months after Zoe died, Ian had spent much of his time in his home office working as if it would take his pain away. Aunt Louise finally had demanded he join the family more. “That’s probably because of me. I couldn’t talk about her much at first. When they stopped asking questions, I was relieved.”
“But those questions don’t go away. They fester inside, waiting to be answered.”
Ian clutched the steering wheel tighter. His defenses rose. “I haven’t stopped them from asking.” Not in words anyway.
“But have you encouraged them to talk about their mother?”
When Ian thought back over the past two years, he realized all he had done was survive from one day to the next. “No, but you think I should.”
“My mother died when I was fifteen. For the longest time no one would say anything about her, especially me.”
Had Annie’s mother’s death been what had stopped her from playing softball? Ian could sympathize with her about losing someone special and being thrown into a downward spiral. “I’m sorry about your mother.”
Annie sighed. “Finally as a family we came together and talked about all the good memories we had of Mom. That helped me tremendously, but I didn’t realize it until afterward. I went reluctantly to that family meeting.”
Maybe I should start with a family meeting. “Annie, I need to eat lunch before going back to work. Do you want to join me, then I’ll take you back to the house?”
“Sounds good.”
“Good, because up ahead is one of my favorite restaurants.” A few minutes later Ian pulled into the parking lot next to Doug’s Steakhouse. “Give me a good juicy steak anytime.”
“I’m not a big meat eater, but I’m sure they have a salad.”
Inside, a waitress showed Ian and Annie to a table in the corner, not far from the stone fireplace.
After they ordered and received their iced teas, Ian said, “Tell me more about having a family meeting.”
“It became a necessity for our family with seven children. We were often going in different directions, and besides breakfast in the morning, we didn’t sit down together much.”
“You got together for breakfast, not dinner?”
“We all started the day pretty much at the same time, but in the evening, some would be at practice or some other school activity, except Sunday-night dinner. Then we would eat together and have our family meeting. Nothing else could be planned during that time.”
Would this help his children? Ian’s focus had to be on healing his family. “What was your agenda?”
“Whatever we needed to cover, which varied, but there was a schedule of sorts. My dad would open with a prayer and my...mom would close with one.” Annie dropped her gaze and cleared her throat. “After she...died, the eldest sibling took her place.”
Ian could see her sadness, her struggle to continue, and he knew what she was going through. The pain of losing a loved one could surge to the foreground even after years. He reached across and covered Annie’s hand, wishing he could do more to comfort her. “If you don’t want to talk about—”
“No, I don’t mind. I think a family meeting would be good for yours.” Annie slipped her hands into her lap.
But she did mind—at least a part of her. It was written in her tension-filled expression. “What was the first order of business?”
“We each started out giving someone a compliment about something he or she did during the week. Usually it wasn’t hard, except when my youngest brother went through his rebellious years. After that we dealt with the problems we were having. And not just those between the kids, but any we had with our parents, too. If something had to be decided, we came up with a solution as a group, but our parents could always veto it.”
“Did they?”
“At the beginning when we made ridiculous decisions, but they always told us why. It didn’t take us long to see the way we should go. We couldn’t stay up till all hours of the night or skip our homework.”
“How long did these meetings last with seven children?”
“Usually not too long—maybe an hour or two—unless one of us was straying and needed to be put on the right path. Those ‘interventions’ could last awhile.” Annie picked up her tea and took a long swallow, her gaze on a spot to his left.
There was more to that, but Ian didn’t feel he could ask about it. They were just getting to know each other, and Annie was good at putting up a wall. Had her family done an intervention with her? If so, why? In five days he felt she knew all about him and his family while he knew little about her, other than that she was excellent with children, caring and reliable. “After discussing the problems, what did you do?”
“We each told the group something good that happened to us during the week and what we were thankful for. Then the closing prayer.”
The waitress brought their food. She set the steak in front of Ian and a Greek salad before Annie.
Ian cut his rib eye. “Okay, when you and your twin became the eldest, who said the closing prayer?”
She chuckled. “We traded each week, although technically Amanda was older by four minutes.”
“A diplomatic way of handling it. I’m going to have to remember that with Jade and Jasmine.”
“When do you think you’ll start having the meeting?”
“I’ve got to do something. I should have months ago. You’ve seen us at meals. We don’t really talk. Usually Jeremy is upset and angry at someone and everyone feels that tension.”
Ian held his knife and fork poised over his steak. “It’s been two years. I need to get my act together. I hope with your help.”
Annie forked a few pieces of lettuce. “You have it.”
A hint of red brushed her high cheekbones. There were times Annie acted shy, but other times she was a take-charge kind of person. She didn’t like a lot of meat and usually ate little, but she loved bacon and had fixed it already several times, enjoying three or four
pieces. She was a woman full of contradictions. A woman who fascinated him.
* * *
Ian drove the Ford Explorer on Saturday afternoon to Caring Canines with all the children packed into it. Annie looked back to see why everyone, even Joshua, was silent. He was nodding off while Jeremy, sitting next to him, was glaring at the back of his father’s head. Jasmine was brushing her hair, and Jade’s attention was glued to the ranch where the Caring Canines building was. Horses, some foals, frolicked in a pasture to the left while a lone one was on the right. Probably a stallion.
When Annie saw the training facility, she wondered if she’d had a therapy dog after the fire she would have recovered faster. At the beginning she wouldn’t even talk to Amanda about her feelings concerning her mother and the guilt she felt. Instead, she’d kept it locked inside as though that would make it go away.
But it didn’t.
Ian came to a stop in front. No one moved to get out of the car. He gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles whitened. Right before he’d come, Ian and Jeremy had had a huge shouting match with his son refusing to come. It was Joshua going into his big brother’s room and calmly asking why he didn’t want a dog that changed Jeremy’s mind. Ten minutes later he agreed to go, but it was clear he wasn’t sold on the idea of having a service dog.
Annie put a big smile on her face and turned toward the children. “Are you ready? When I was here yesterday they had twenty dogs being trained for various types of service. Do you know they have one for people with diabetes? It’s amazing what these dogs can do.”
Joshua grinned. “I wanna see. I want a dog, too.”
“You can have mine,” Jeremy mumbled under his breath.
“Oh, good.” Joshua clapped his hands.
Ian finally twisted around and tried to smile. “I hope we can get two dogs. The one for Jeremy and another for the whole family.”
“Let’s go,” Jade said, opening her door and hopping down.
Jasmine followed, although without much enthusiasm. Joshua waited, but when Jeremy wouldn’t leave, the four-year-old scooted across the seat and exited with his sisters.
“I said I’d come to get Joshua to stop pestering me. I didn’t say I would get out of the car.” Jeremy crossed his arms and dropped his head.
Chapter Six
“I’ll take the other kids inside,” Annie said and shut her car door.
Ian looked pleadingly at Annie, not sure what to do. He remembered what she’d said about forcing a child to go kicking and screaming somewhere—it wouldn’t work. Lord, help me. Annie smiled at him then hurried after the children.
Ian fortified himself with a deep breath then turned toward Jeremy. “We need to go inside, son. I’ve read about what a service dog can do for a person with epilepsy. It’s there to help you through seizure and comfort you afterward. This could be good for you.”
“How do you know it’s good for me? You don’t have epilepsy,” Jeremy shouted as though he’d kept a plug on his feelings too long and they’d begun leaking out.
“True, but—”
“You don’t know everything about me. I’m not sick. I don’t need fixing. I don’t need a babysitter or a dog.” Jeremy hugged his arms against his chest as though he were freezing.
“I never said you were sick.”
“I have to take medicine like a sick person.”
“That’s so you won’t have a problem. It’s for preventive reasons.” Ian’s stomach churned with frustration. Getting angry wouldn’t solve this problem. “Go inside and at least meet Rex. Don’t look at him as a service dog but as the one you wanted when we gave Lady away.”
“I’m glad we couldn’t get one. I don’t want one now.”
“Why? You love animals.”
“I don’t love anything.”
Ian glimpsed the hurt behind Jeremy’s declaration, and his heartbeat slowed to a throb. “You lost a lot in the past few years. We all have, but you can’t give up on caring about others.” As Ian said those words, he realized part of him didn’t believe what he was saying. Wasn’t that what he was doing? Shutting down his emotions and protecting himself from getting hurt again?
“You can’t control how I feel.”
“True. Tell you what. Meet Rex, and if you still don’t want him after spending a few sessions with him, then we won’t get him.” Because no matter how much he wished it, Rex wouldn’t work if Jeremy didn’t buy in to the concept of a service dog.
“Sessions?”
“Mrs. Tanner wants you to help her with some of Rex’s training. He has a couple of weeks before she feels he’s ready to have an owner.”
The tense set of his son’s shoulders relaxed a little. “How many times do I have to see him?”
“Three. Today and two training sessions. Okay?” Ian prayed his son’s love of animals—despite his denial—would have him saying yes to Rex.
Jeremy nodded and shoved open his door.
Before Ian could get out of his car, Jeremy charged toward the building entrance as though going into battle. Ian hurried to catch up.
Ian found his children with Annie and Emma in the fenced play yard out behind Caring Canines. Jeremy stood by the gate. “Let’s go in.”
“You didn’t say I had to participate.”
“But you do need to be with the dog. Whether you participate with Rex or not is your choice.”
Ian opened the gate and let Jeremy go inside first.
“Jeremy, isn’t Rex a beauty?” Jade petted the black Lab with golden-brown eyes.
“Yeah, he’s so sweet.” Jasmine held her hand out for the dog to lick it.
“Dad, I want this dog.” Joshua sat on the grass while a puppy that was part terrier climbed all over him.
“We’ll see, Joshua.” Ian joined Annie and Emma near Rex while his eldest moved only a few feet forward.
When the twins turned their attention to a couple of the other dogs, Annie said, “It didn’t go well?”
“I wasn’t even sure if I would get him here.” With Annie, Ian didn’t feel as if he was alone fighting this battle with Jeremy.
“That’s a shame. A service dog won’t work for a person unless he wants him,” Emma said, reinforcing what Ian already knew. She walked over to Rex, rubbed behind his ears and then headed toward Jeremy with the dog.
Ian tensed, not sure what his son would do. Jeremy straightened, his shoulders thrust back while Emma introduced Rex to him.
“If this doesn’t work, I’m not sure what to do for Jeremy.”
“Did he tell you why he didn’t want Rex?” Annie faced him.
His gaze still trained on Jeremy, Ian said, “He told me he wasn’t sick, that he doesn’t need fixing.”
“It can be hard to accept something life changing like epilepsy, but a lot of children do get used to it. With some modification and the right medication, it can be manageable.”
Ian glanced toward Annie, her nearness a balm. “Have you been reading up on it?”
“Yes. I like to be informed as much as possible, but I also know from experience with my friend.”
Another thing Ian found he liked about Annie: she was proactive. “I realized in the car I couldn’t make him take Rex. There are some things I can’t resolve for him.”
“Isn’t that true with all your children?”
Ian faced Annie, her vanilla scent surrounding him. Everything about her, from her expressive face to even her fragrance, calmed him. “Yes. I’m finding that out. He’s hurting, and I can’t do a lot but be there for him.”
“What did Jeremy say in the car?”
“He’s lost too many people and a dog that he loved. He doesn’t want to care about anything else.” They were the same feelings Ian found himself fighting these days, so he knew exactly what his son was going through. “I think that’s the biggest hurdle to having Rex. He was really beginning to respond to Aunt Louise when she died. Then we’ve had one nanny after another. I’m not sure he’ll ever accept you, thro
ugh no fault of yours.”
“I’ll keep trying. I’m not easily defeated when I set my mind to something.”
The expression on Annie’s face confirmed her words and reinforced yet again that Ian wasn’t alone. For a long time he’d felt that way, even when Aunt Louise had come to help him. “I’ve seen that. I predict in a week or so that you and Jasmine will be best buddies.”
“Well, I don’t know about best buddies, but she’ll accept help sometimes in order not to be awakened by my whistle. This morning she asked me for an alarm clock so she could get up by herself.”
Ian chuckled. “That’s not a bad idea for all the kids. We’ll stop on the way home and let them pick out what they want.”
“I predict Jasmine will want something pink and frilly.”
“They make alarm clocks like that?”
With a grin, Annie nodded and turned to watch the children.
“Is she laying out her clothes the night before yet?”
“No, but she’ll have to come to that conclusion on her own.”
“I’m glad Joshua is, and he’s taking your advice on what goes together.”
Annie glanced over her shoulder at Ian. “Having his big sister laugh at his choice on Wednesday did the trick, and I didn’t even ask Jasmine to do that. He assaulted her fashion sense with the purple-and-lime-green T-shirt and yellow shorts.”
“It took all my restraint not to laugh out loud. He’s always loved bright colors.”
“Yes, I know. He’s always coloring with bright crayons—and not necessarily on paper.”
“Oh, look.” Ian gestured toward Jeremy stepping closer to Rex and petting the top of his head. “I’d be encouraged if he wasn’t frowning so much.”
“Rex has two more visits to win him over.” The pair started walking toward the kids.
When Ian had covered the distance between him and Jeremy, he knelt next to the black Lab and stroked him. “Rex reminds me of a dog I used to play with when I was young. He lived across the street and was so friendly. Does he do any tricks?”
“A few I taught him. Sit. Lie down. Stay. Come. Lose it.” Emma turned to Jeremy. “Here, I’ll show you some of them.”
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