“None,” Lemar says. “Everyone has plans already.”
An idea pops into my head. A way for me to show Holly I’m still here for her despite what we’ve been through. “I’m free,” I say.
Lemar sizes me up. “That could work. You’re the right height for the costume, and the kids have only seen you briefly once.”
“Absolutely not,” Holly says. “Nick doesn’t even like children.
“I never said I didn’t like kids,” I say, wondering where she got that idea. Not wanting kids of my own doesn’t mean I dislike kids in general. I have a niece and nephew I adore.
“Still, you have plans with your parents. I’ve got this covered,” Holly says, reaching for the garment bag. “I’ll watch some YouTube videos on makeup and have my wrinkles perfected by tomorrow evening. No sweat.”
“Holly, Holly!” The strawberry-blonde comes rushing into the office with April trailing behind her.
“Erica, we don’t barge into people’s offices,” April tells her, grabbing the little girl’s hand.
“It’s okay,” Holly says, walking over to Erica. “What is it, sweetie?”
“I finished my letter to Santa.” She holds up a piece of paper.
“That’s great. I’ll put it in the mail right away.” Holly takes the letter.
Erica throws her arms around Holly’s waist. “Will you get your picture taken with Santa with me tomorrow?”
Holly’s face goes completely pale, knowing she can’t play Mrs. Claus and appear in pictures with the kids. “Oh, um...”
“Of course she will,” I say, and Erica smiles up at Holly.
“I love you, Holly!” Erica says before rushing out. April runs after her.
Holly looks like she’s going to either murder me for making that promise to Erica or bawl her eyes out at the prospect of disappointing the little girl.
I shut the office door. “I’ll be your Santa Claus so you can spend the evening taking pictures with the kids,” I say.
Holly shakes her head. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not. I’m offering, and I won’t take no for an answer.”
“It’s him or me,” Lemar says. “If Santa doesn’t show up, these kids will be heartbroken. And they’re going to recognize me in that suit for sure.”
“He’s right,” I tell her. I step toward Holly. “Let me help. I’d really like to.”
“You know what?” Lemar says. “I’m in charge of hiring for events, so on behalf of the Sapphire Springs Children’s Community Center, welcome aboard.” He extends his hand to me, and I shake it.
Holly looks green, and not in a Christmasy sort of way.
Holly
Why would he do this for me? He should hate me. Part of me hates myself for leaving him. I mean, in the past five years, I’ve never found another man like Nick. And I still don’t have children of my own. Not that I don’t want them someday. I just haven’t been ready to make that commitment yet. Maybe that’s how it was for Nick, too. Maybe he thought he never wanted kids, but now that we’re older... No. I can’t start thinking about trying to change Nick’s opinion on the matter. What if he did give in and then he hated being a father? He’d hate me for forcing him into it.
“I really don’t think this is a good idea,” I say.
“Too late,” Lemar says. “We shook on it and everything.” He turns back to Nick. “The party starts at five, so be here no later than four. Come in the back entrance so none of the early birds see you.”
“Got it.” Nick nods.
Lemar gives me a smug smile before walking out of my office. Silence hangs in the air between Nick and me. I have no idea what to say to him after all this time.
“So—” he begins.
“I have to get back to work,” I blurt out, already starting for the door.
“Right.” He rubs the scruff on his chin. “I don’t suppose you’d entertain the idea of having dinner with me tonight.”
Dinner? Like as in a date? I can’t date Nick. If I let myself go down that road again, open my heart to feel for him what I’ve never really stopped feeling...
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I manage to say.
“Do you have plans already? I know it’s last minute.” His dark eyes see right through me, making me melt the way they used to.
“Nick, I can’t do this.”
He steps toward me and reaches for my arm, but he stops before making contact. “Do what?”
Be this close to him. “I have to work late.” The lie spills off my tongue.
“Oh.” Seeing right through my words, his face falls. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
I nod and swallow the lump in my throat.
His gaze lingers on me, and then he reaches inside his pocket. He pulls out a gas station receipt and scribbles something on it. “Here’s my number.” He holds it out to me. “In case you decide you need me to come earlier than four tomorrow.” Our fingers touch, and neither of us moves to break the contact. Just like that, I can feel the electricity that’s always existed between us. My heart aches at the need to wrap my arms around this man, to claim his lips with mine, to never let him go again.
“Thanks,” I say.
“Holl—” April stops in the doorway, her gaze volleying between Nick and me. “Oh, I can see you’re busy.”
“Actually, Nick was just leaving,” I say, finally pulling my hand from his. I clutch the receipt to my chest as if it’s the most precious gift in the world. And maybe it is because it might be the last thing Nick ever gives me.
April narrows her eyes, and I can practically see the wheels turning in her mind. I know what she’s up to, but before I can stop her, she says, “All the kids are gone for the day, so we’re free to go. The bad news is that I have to cancel on our dinner plans tonight.”
I give her a discreet shake of my head, trying to stop her from following through with the rest of her charade. But she completely ignores me.
“That guy I’m dating called and invited me to dinner. You don’t mind, right? I mean, you and Nick probably want to catch up anyway.” She nods to Nick, who turns his attention back to me.
“What do you say, Holly?” His eyes plead with me.
I guess having dinner with him is the least I can do after leaving him at the altar. “Sure.” I muster a fake smile because I’m dying on the inside. Getting through an entire meal with the man who stole my heart and never let go, despite the time and distance between us, is going to be damn near impossible.
Nick
I’ve always liked April, but right now I could kiss her. She just pushed Holly into my waiting arms.
“Perfect. Do you need to go home first or are you good to go as is?” I’m hoping she’ll opt to go home first. I’d love to see where she lives and maybe convince her to spend the night in with me. I want her all to myself to find out if she still feels what I do between us.
“I’m fine like this,” she says.
“Great.” I force a smile on my face and motion for her to lead the way out of the office. She walks past April, glaring at her.
April hesitates, a smile on her face, and then she whispers to me, “You’re welcome.”
“Thank you,” I whisper back.
Holly starts for the back door but then hesitates. “Oh, how should we do this? I’m parked in the back. Do you want me to follow you, or do you want to follow me?”
It’s like she’s determined to keep space between us. “Why don’t I drive and I’ll bring you back to your car after dinner?”
She doesn’t respond right away, and I’m sure she’s trying to come up with a reason why this plan wouldn’t work. She can’t, though. “Okay, I guess.”
I start for the front door and hold it open for her. Instead of walking through it, she pauses. “Oh, I forgot my coat in my office. Just give me a second.”
“No worries,” I say, removing my jacket. “You know I’m always hot.”
She pauses at
my words, and I realize how that must have sounded to her.
“I mean, I don’t get cold easily.” I force a laugh. “Remember I used to wear shorts well into December? I can’t do that anymore, but...” I’m babbling like a frickin’ idiot.
She smiles. “You still ramble when you’re nervous, huh?”
I sigh. “What can I say? You still have that effect on me.”
Her cheeks tinge pink as I drape my jacket over her shoulders. “Thank you.”
Something about seeing her with my jacket feels right. “After you.”
She walks out into the parking lot, clutching the front of the jacket closed. “I’m guessing that’s you,” she says, gesturing to my black Lexus sedan.
“It’s the only car left in the lot, so good guess,” I say, bumping my hip into hers. It’s something we always did when joking with each other. The movement was so natural for me, but she looks startled by it. “Sorry,” I say.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she says, but the sorrow in her voice rips through my core.
I open the passenger side door for her and use the walk around the car to compose myself. I have to remember that even though all these feelings are resurfacing, we aren’t the same Nick and Holly anymore. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.
As soon as I’m inside the car, I crank the heat, noticing Holly is shivering despite my jacket. “Give it a second to warm up.” I click the button for her heated seat as well.
“So, where do you want to eat?” she asks, making small talk.
“How about O’Malley’s?” It’s the pub we used to frequent at least once a week. It sort of became our place.
“Sure.” I detect a hint of a smile spreading across her lips. Maybe I’m not wrong. Maybe she does still feel something for me. Or maybe she’s just happy at the memory of what we had. Either way, I can work with that.
I drive the ten minutes to O’Malley’s and find a parking spot near the door. The place was always packed, so I’m shocked that parking isn’t an issue. I get out and walk around to get Holly’s door, but she’s already out of the car. I decide to be bold and offer my arm, and I’m pleasantly surprised when she takes it.
We walk inside to find the bar is hopping. Over people’s heads, I spot Liam tending bar. “I can’t believe he’s still here,” I say.
Holly follows my gaze. “He’s part owner now.”
“Good for him.” I raise my hand and wave to my old friend.
A huge smile breaks across Liam’s freckled face when he sees me, and he waves me over. “Look what the cat dragged in!” Liam pulls me in for a one-armed hug across the bar top as soon as I approach. “How the hell have you been, Nick?”
“Great. I hear you have been, too. Co-owner?”
Liam’s smile grows, and he grabs three shot glasses from behind the bar. He pours tequila into each and pushes two across the bar for us. “To old friends,” he says, raising his own.
“To old friends,” I repeat, and I glance at Holly. She was my best friend. My world. All I want is for her to be that again. I down my drink, and she does the same.
“What are you drinking tonight?” Liam asks us.
“Actually, we were hoping to get a table and have some dinner,” Holly says.
“You got it.” Liam flags down a waiter. “I need a table for two, somewhere away from the bar.” He winks at Holly, and she turns beet red. He must think this is a date, and while I’d love for it to be, I don’t think that’s how Holly views it.
“Right this way,” the waiter says to us.
“Thanks, man,” I say, clasping Liam’s hand across the bar.
He nods his head in Holly’s direction and gives me a questioning look as she follows the waiter.
“A man can dream, right?” I say before catching up to her.
We’re seated in a secluded corner in the back. Holly drapes my jacket over the back of her chair, which I pull out for her. The waiter hands us two menus, and Holly immediately begins to scan hers—I’m sure to avoid my gaze, which is trained on her. I’m still staring at her when the waiter returns moments later with water for us. Holly orders a Guinness and the French dip, and I echo her order since I haven’t so much as glanced at the menu.
“Are you leaving right after Christmas?” she asks me once the waiter leaves.
“Actually, I’m relocating to Sapphire Springs. I’m going into business for myself now.”
“As a contractor?” she asks before taking a sip of her water.
I nod. “Bergen County isn’t for me. I missed this place.” Specifically the people.
“That’s great. Congratulations.” The worry on her face doesn’t match her words.
“You sound thrilled to have me back in the area,” I say, trying to make a joke. “Am I that awful to be around?”
Her head lowers. “The opposite actually.”
I reach across the table and place my hand on top of hers. “I told you I don’t have any negative feelings for you.” I smile and repeat the words she just said to me. “The opposite actually.”
The waiter returns with our drinks, interrupting the moment, so I release Holly’s hand and sit back in my chair.
“Have you found a place to live, or will you be staying with your parents for a while?” Holly asks once we’re alone again.
“I’m sleeping in my old room for now. I’ll be house hunting right after the holidays. Depending on how long the search takes, I may end up staying at the Crystal Cavern. I love my parents, but...”
She laughs. “Yeah, I completely understand.”
“How are you’re parents doing?” I ask her as the waiter returns with our food.
“Same old.”
“Are they still arguing over what to do with your old room?” They used to bicker about that constantly. Holly’s mom wanted a yoga room, while her father wanted a man cave. Holly and I used to do our best impressions of them and stage fake arguments. It always wound up with us laughing hysterically in each other’s arms.
“It’s ridiculous. They actually split the room in half. Mom has her yoga mat and ball on one side, and Dad set up a TV and recliner on the other.” She laughs, and it nearly does me in as I attempt to dip my sandwich in the broth. I wind up spilling it on the front of my khaki pants, which only makes her laugh harder.
“Oh, you think that’s funny, do you?” I say, but I’m laughing, too.
“You haven’t changed,” she says. “You always were clumsy when it came to messy foods.”
“That and you always made me laugh when I was eating them. I was sure you did it on purpose. Now I’m thinking I was right.”
“Maybe,” she says with a smirk bordering on flirtatious.
I dip my napkin in my water glass and dab at my pants, but it’s clear they’re in desperate need of a washing. “Mom’s going to love this. It’s like old times, having to wash stains off my clothing after meals.”
“It is just like old times, isn’t it?” she says.
I pause in my efforts to clean my pants and stare at her. “You mean us? The way we seem to be the same as we were together even though we’ve both grown over the past five years?”
She nods. “Why is that?”
Because we’re meant to be together. I know that. I need her to see it, and maybe this is the first step.
“I think we’ll always be Nick and Holly.”
I can’t read her expression and have no idea what she’s thinking, so I’m completely surprised when she says, “Do you want to get this food boxed up and go to my place to clean off your pants?”
Go back to her place and remove my pants? Yes. Yes, please! “I think you’re reading my mind.”
Holly
I don’t know what I’m thinking inviting him back to my house. This is crazy. But the way we’re falling into our old ways makes it feel right, and before I know it, I’m unlocking my front door.
Nick looks around my living room, which is decorated for Christmas. My modest six-foot tre
e stands in the corner all lit up with colored lights and Lenox ornaments my parents bought for me over the years. The banister leading upstairs is strung with garland and red bows. And the archway leading into the kitchen has mistletoe hanging from it.
“Wow,” Nick says. “It’s like a Christmas wonderland in here. You even have a train around the base of your tree.”
I walk over and turn on the train so it starts looping around the track. I turn to meet Nick’s gaze and bob one shoulder. “What can I say? It’s my favorite holiday.”
“Always was,” he says, his voice filled with nostalgia. He raises the to-go boxes our food is in. “Should I bring these to the kitchen?”
“Right through there,” I say, pointing as I remove Nick’s jacket and toss it over the arm of the couch.
He steps into the archway and briefly glances up at the mistletoe. I turn away, my cheeks warming at the thought of Nick’s lips pressed against mine. He was a great kisser. Is he still? Has his technique changed with age? I’m suddenly dying to find out.
Once he’s inside the kitchen, I allow myself to follow. “Would you like some hot chocolate?” I ask, already reaching for mugs in the cabinet over the microwave.
“Only if you have plenty of marshmallows.”
I smile, remembering how much he loved marshmallows. “You got it.”
He opens our food containers and grabs silverware from the drawer as if he’s been here numerous times. He makes himself at home at the table, but he doesn’t start eating.
“You didn’t have to wait for me,” I say, bringing our mugs of hot chocolate to the table.
“What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t?” He reaches for his mug, which is loaded with so many marshmallows the hot chocolate isn’t even visible. “Just the way I like it,” he says with a smile.
I sit down and dig into my food, and we fall into easy conversation. Being with Nick again is almost too easy. I can tell he doesn’t resent me for leaving him. Maybe he thinks I did us both a favor. He’s probably here because he’s moving back to the area and I’m a familiar face, someone to help him get reacquainted with Sapphire Springs. But can I really be his friend when looking at him elicits these feelings inside me that never went away?
A Merrily Matched Christmas Page 2