She chuckled, a bittersweet sound. “How would you know? You’ve never even stepped foot in New York, let alone my store in SoHo.”
“It has to be magic if you created it, Sarah.” Cody’s voice was rock solid positive, like he truly believed what he said. “Tell me about your store.”
“It’s really a boutique on the edge of SoHo. An up and coming edge. I stock one of a kind re-designered goods.”
“Re-designered? What’s that?”
Sarah laughed. “Re-designered is a term I coined. I buy designer clothes that have seen better days. Stuff from estate sales and I have several of those haul your junk away places I work with.”
Cody’s eyes crinkled at the corners as he grinned. “And you give them the Sarah Jayne retouch.”
She nodded. “Something like that,” she said. “I patch and repair what is salvageable to sell. What can’t be fixed I take apart, mix, and match to create other garments.”
“Who comes into your store? Customers I mean.”
“Mostly women looking for a statement piece. Something that will set them apart, mark them as a trend setter in a classy Kate Middleton sort of way.”
“And you like that.” His voice was sure and certain.
“Yeah, I do. I really like matching a woman to something perfect, something just for her. Something that makes her feel…”
“Beautiful,” Cody said. “You make them feel beautiful about who they are. That sounds perfect for you.”
Sarah nodded. “It’s kind of perfect. But there is still a part of me that wishes for something different than what I have in New York.”
“What kind of different?”
She ducked her head, swallowed hard. “Something like what my sister has,” Sarah said quietly.
“Like Mary. All the travel and—”
Sarah shook her head. “Not Mary. Cami.”
“The soldier’s wife with a half dozen kids?” Cody asked.
“She does not have six kids. She has four. Although they sometimes seem like a small army when they’re all together,” she admitted. “But I meant the husband and kids bit of Cami’s life.”
Cody’s brows raised, and his mouth dropped open but no words came.
Sarah laughed. “Stupid, huh? Maybe that’s why I got engaged to Richard.”
“Engaged? Since when?”
“We aren’t engaged anymore,” Sarah said. “And that’s a good thing because he wasn’t really who I was looking for. He just…caught me at a weak moment, and I said yes before I’d thought things through.”
“That doesn’t sound like the Sarah I know.”
“I came to my senses pretty quickly,” she said. “And I know I don’t want to marry just anyone. But I’m thinking I do want to get married. I do want that someday soon.”
“With the right someone?”
“Yes.”
“Food for thought,” Cody said.
“Did I hear someone mention food?” Cody’s mom asked as she bustled into the room with a tray full of warm cookies and mugs full of hot chocolate.
Cody stood and took the tray from his mother, carrying it to the coffee table.
Sarah made room on the top, moving their decorating bits out of the way. “This smells heavenly, Mrs. Hayes.”
“Everybody grab a mug and some cookies. Then we’ll get that tree decorated.” Ellen Hayes marshaled the troops and put everyone to work. In just a few hours, the Hayes house was alive with the spirit of Christmas.
Once they were finished, Cody ushered Davie up to bed, and Sarah collected the dishes, taking them into the kitchen to wash. “I’ve got this, Mrs. Hayes. Why don’t you and Mr. Hayes relax a bit.”
“Thank you, dear. I think I’ll see if I can get Carl to head off to sleep. He tires much more easily since his stroke, and I don’t want him to overdo things when he’s finally on the mend.”
“Goodnight, Mrs. Hayes.” Sarah turned on the tap and began filling the sink, adding a dollop of soap to the warm water.
Ten minutes later, the dishes were done and on the rack to dry. Cody came down the stairs as Sarah gathered her coat and car keys.
“Spend the day with me tomorrow?” he asked.
“I’ve spent every other day since I arrived with you and Davie. Of course, I’ll be here tomorrow.”
“Not me and Davie. My parents want to take their grandson to see Santa, and Davie wants to buy a few presents he doesn’t want me to see,” Cody said. “So, spend the day with me. And maybe the night too?”
Sarah held his gaze, saw the promises he wanted to make, the problems that stood between them, and took a leap of faith. “Yes.”
“I’ll pick you up at noon tomorrow.”
“I’ll be ready.”
“All right then.” He reached for her coat, held it while she shrugged into it, and then turned her to face him. Holding her gaze, he carefully fastened each button then tied the belt at her waist. Hands on her hips, he guided her back two steps to the center of the room.
Under the mistletoe, in the middle of his family home, he kissed her. This time his kiss was gentle and sweet. This time his kiss was full of sentimentality and soft promises. This time his kiss was tinged with the ghostly hint of Christmas future. And she was afraid to believe.
“More food for thought,” he said when they came up for air.
Then he walked her to her car. He helped inside, closed the door and waved her off into the night.
Sarah made it home to Aunt Jo’s on autopilot. “Thank heavens the road was empty,” she muttered as she parked and locked her car. All she wanted to do was crawl into bed now and wish for tomorrow to arrive as soon as possible.
Chapter 8
Cody frowned at Sarah’s silence. He’d picked her up at eleven thirty—and she’d been ready and waiting for him. He’d handed her into the truck, stowed her bag and waved goodbye to her Aunt Jo. They’d already spent the better part of two hours on the back roads of Texas, and Sarah had said maybe five words in total throughout the drive. She’d held his hand or rested her palm on his thigh, as he’d driven, and the silence had been relaxed, soft like a cocoon putting them in their own world for the first thirty minutes or so.
Now he wondered, as he pulled into the gravel drive, if he’d made the right choice to bring her to the small bed and breakfast just outside the county limits. It was a place his parents had gone to celebrate one of their anniversaries. His mother had said it was the perfect place for making memories. And right now, Cody wanted to hoard all the memories of Sarah he could get his hands on. All of Sarah he could get his hands on. “Having second thoughts?”
“Second, third, and fourth,” she said.
Cody parked, leaving the engine to idle as he unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to face her. “We don’t have to do this,” he said. “I can turn the truck around and have you back to your Aunt Jo’s by dinner time.”
Sarah shook her head but remained silent.
“Talk to me, Sarah. Please,” he said. “I need to know what’s going on in that beautiful head of your.” Because Cody realized that not talking through things had been a mistake all those years ago. If they’d talked back then, he knew in his gut things would be very different now.
Sarah twisted her fingers together and rested the balled-up fists in her lap. “I know we don’t have to do this. But I also know that I’ll regret it more if I don’t, if I just give up this time, this chance. Even if it’s just a chance to say a proper goodbye.”
“Goodbye? To me or to the past?”
“Maybe to both.” Sarah lifted one hand and gently cupped his cheek.
He nuzzled into her palm, kissed it lightly then covered her hand with his, holding her touch in place. “Maybe we could consider this an opportunity to say hello to the possibilities?”
Sarah sighed softly and pulled her hand from under his. She unbuckled her seat belt and slid across the bench seat, practically crawling into his lap. Tucking her head under his, she lightly traced his throat
with her lips and whispered, “Do we have a fireplace in this room you booked?”
Cody swallowed, and she traced the convulsive movement with her lips. He had to clear his throat before he could speak. “As a matter of fact, there’s a fireplace and a jacuzzi tub.”
Sarah pulled back and laid her hand over his, squeezing his fingers gently. “Then let’s go say hello to some possibilities.”
Sarah watched the shadows move across Cody’s face. She saw regrets, what-might-have-beens, and goodbye again. This was what people called goodbye sex, and it had been both beautiful and bittersweet.
She sighed heavily.
“What’s wrong?” Cody was highly attuned to her moods now. Or maybe he always had been, and she’d just missed it before. He crawled back into the bed, muscles flexing as he moved up her body.
Caged in, naked except for the sheet tucked up under her armpits, Sarah felt too exposed, too raw for a heart to heart, but she answered anyway. “We are, I suppose.”
Cody rolled to her side, stretching his body out along hers. His warmth seeped into her bones, and she wanted to grab hold and bottle that feeling to take with her when…if…she returned to New York.
He propped his head on his palm and trailed one finger under her chin and down over her throat.
She swallowed convulsively, and he chuckled, a dark, rich sound that sent a tingle down her spine. His finger continued its journey, finally landing just over her sternum and trapping her breath in her chest for a moment.
“Then why did you agree to spend the day with me?” he asked.
“Because I couldn’t say no.” Sarah shook her head. “That’s not what I mean exactly. I didn’t want to say no. I didn’t want another regret between us.”
He edged the sheet down, exposing the rounded tops of her breasts. “Is that all that’s between us? Regrets?”
“That and one very flimsy sheet,” she said.
“Well I can remove at least one of those right now,” he said as he whisked the sheet away and tossed it over the end of the bed.
She cupped his skull, his close-cropped hair prickling her fingers. She pulled him closer and he nuzzled her cheek then ran open mouthed kisses from the shell of her ear to the edge of her jaw.
She felt his smile against her cheek when a shiver wracked her body.
“I’d forgotten,” Cody whispered as he lifted his head and held her gaze with his own.
“Forgotten? What?” And the hitch in her breath brought another smile to his face.
“I’d forgotten how good you feel against me. How good we feel together,” he said.
Tears filled her eyes, and he shook his head in denial.
“No tears. No regrets. Not today,” he said. “We can deal with that tomorrow.”
Then he took her lips with his and all regrets vanished. Tear of sadness were replaced by smiles of joy, and she followed where his body led hers.
Afterward, damp with sweat and satisfaction, they clung to each other. Sarah curled into Cody’s chest and waited for her pounding heart to return to a more natural rhythm. And for the ache in her chest to subside.
Chapter 9
Cody woke to find Sarah curled in a chair in front of the window sipping a cup of coffee. The golden glow of the sunrise made her look like the angel Davie first thought her to be.
He rolled from the bed and pulled the twisted sheet with him, wrapping the linen around his hips and knotting it to one side.
Walking up behind her, he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.
She nuzzled into him, resting her head against his arm.
He leaned down and kissed the crown of her head. “Thank you. For last night. It was perfect,” he said.
“We were perfect,” she said as she tilted her head back to meet his gaze. “Maybe too perfect.” She returned her gaze to the window.
“Is there such a thing? As a too perfect night I mean?”
“Hmm. Maybe there is. If it ruins you for any other night, any other man,” Sarah said. “That can make for a very lonely life.”
He didn’t want that for her. But he didn’t trust his own ability to stay. Cody shut his eyes against the pain of letting her go again.
“This wasn’t supposed to be goodbye, was it?” Sarah asked gently.
“No,” he admitted. “My parents came here once, and my mom said this was the perfect place for making memories. I just thought…I hoped they would be memories we could look at together down the road.”
“That’s hard to do when your life is all about cutting the ties that bind and soaring free while mine is currently focused on tethering myself in place.”
“It seems we may have arrived at a fork in the road again,” Cody said.
“Yes,” she agreed. “And I’ll be taking one fork while you take the other.”
“Irreconcilable differences,” Cody said. Because all he could see right now was the distance falling between them.
“Something like that. We are at an impossible impasse as far as I can see.”
“Sarah. I’m sorry. I just want you to be happy. I wish I could make you happy,” Cody said. “I want you to chase possibilities not wallow in regrets.”
“Cody—”
He walked around the chair and went to his knees between her and the sunrise. He laid a finger over her lips when they parted, halting further speech. “No. No regrets. I just want you to chase your happiness.”
“I will if you will,” she said.
He forced a smile and said, “Sure.”
They both stood and moved to dress in silence, packing the few items they’d brought with them.
They used the complimentary toiletries, then Cody ushered Sarah towards the door.
She turned, silently glancing back at the room, at the bed they’d shared.
The hurt on her face before she turned away carved a hole deep in his heart.
Before he could say something he would regret, make a promise he wouldn’t keep, he followed her into the hallway.
The click of the door closing behind them seemed to be the period after The End.
Chapter 10
The last days before Christmas were packed with lots of last minute shopping, cooking and laughter. Sarah was happy for the last-minute holiday rush. It kept her aunt from prying into wounds that were too fresh to uncover just yet. Maybe in a year or ten, they’d be healed enough. Maybe.
By Christmas Eve morning Sarah was exhausted, but happily so. She had put the finishing touches on her gifts for Aunt Jo, Carl and Ellen, Davie, and Cody just this morning. She’d left them all under the tree, but she planned to head over to drop off her gifts for the Hayes family the day after Christmas. Except for Davie’s. She didn’t want Cody’s son to think she’d forgotten him at Christmas. She’d gotten him his own Stetson, a miniature version of the one his father wore. She would drop that off tonight after she and Aunt Jo were done in town.
“Sarah,” Aunt Jo called. “Grab those last three fruitcakes off the counter, and let’s get a move on. Dinner service is set for six.”
She turned and grabbed the fruitcakes then met her aunt at the front door. They were off to the church to serve up Christmas Eve dinner and hear the choir sing. On the way home, they would deliver meals to Aunt Jo’s homebound neighbors.
“I’ll put those in the back while you grab your coat,” Aunt Jo said.
“Alright,” Sarah said and handed over the sweets. She grabbed her coat off the hook by the door, slid it on, and walked outside, pulling the door closed behind her.
Aunt Jo slid behind the wheel of her vintage VW van, now loaded down with enough food to feed a small army. Sarah walked to the passenger’s side and got in, just as her aunt’s phone rang. That phone was the reason they were running behind. First, Sarah’s parents had called to wish them both a Merry Christmas, from Bangladesh. Then Mary, who closed her deal but didn’t make it to her Vail vacation, because the wilds of Montana were much more interesting. Then Cami. Then a dozen other friends.
“Hello,” Aunt Jo said. Followed by a lot of “uh-huhs” and “hmms.” Then, “We’ll be done by ten. Will that do?”
“Who was that?” Sarah asked once she’d hung up and started the van.
“Just one of the parishioners who can’t get out tonight. They asked me to drop something off for them.”
“Really?” Sarah asked. Because it seemed like more than that type of conversation.
But Aunt Jo remained mute as she drove towards Love’s town square and the little church that stood one corner. The church, when they arrived, was already wreathed in chaos and a cacophony of Christmas wishes. Sarah unloaded the van, rolled up her sleeves, and dove in.
If nothing else the chaos would keep her mind off the newly formed cracks in her heart.
“You said we weren’t going to see our Sarah again before Christmas,” Davie said as his father bundled him into a jacket then tried to get shoes on his feet. One thing Cody learned since having Davie with him is that it took for freaking ever to get out the door. There was no get up and just go when you had a child in tow.
“Well, I thought we’d surprise our Sarah and wish her Merry Christmas in person.” Cody looked up at his son when he realized what Davie had said, and what he had parroted back as he tied the laces on his son’s shoes. “Our Sarah?”
“Well she fits with you dad. And if your homestead is ours, then I figured your Sarah could be ours too.”
“Out of the mouth of babes,” Cody’s mother said. “Even your son can see she’s the women you were meant to put those roots down with.”
“I’m not a babe,” Davie said with indignation.
“No, you’re not,” Cody assured his son. “You are a very smart boy. Much smarter than your dad.” Cody turned to his mother and added, “And I already figured that out for myself. Depending on what happened tonight, I’d like to talk to you and dad about the homestead and some ideas I have that might keep the place in the family.”
Ellen Hayes smiled at her son even as tears filled her eyes. “You’re starting to see the possibilities, aren’t you son?”
A Merrily Matched Christmas Page 19