After clenching and unclenching his fists, he finally placed the palm of his hand against the door, which was partially cracked, and hesitated. He shouldn’t push open the door, he should turn around and go the other way, he should do anything but be alone in a bedroom in the middle of the night with Celise and his stubbornly monstrous erection, he knew. But his arm didn’t seem to know, and it pressed his hand against the door and pushed it further open.
The room was furnished with a full-sized bed which she slept upon, her breath slow and heavy with a light, high-pitched snore. She was beautiful as she slumbered, her face unhindered by glasses or deep thought. She looked so feminine, so vulnerable. So soft and curvaceous. Soon his breathing matched hers, her scent filled his nose, and his gut clenched tight like a fist. He wanted her so bad, it pained him. Not just in his cock, but in his gut, his chest and his mind. But he couldn’t have her. Especially not while he was like this, while he was a monster. Surely he should leave the room now and try to end his suffering. But Jaxon decided that feeling unsatisfied desire was far better than feeling unsatisfied rage.
Standing right over the bed, he leaned down over her, looking at her more closely, noting the way her eyelashes fanned her cheeks. He closed his eyes and inhaled her deeply into his lungs, savoring the scent, imagining what she might taste like. When he opened his eyes she was opening hers at the same time. With a gasp she sprung upright and scrambled backwards a bit, looking at him with a startled expression.
“What are you doing in here?”
“I couldn’t sleep. I felt too—unguarded.” He tried to keep his eyes level with hers and away from the sheet she clung to her chest. Only then did he realize that she wasn’t wearing anything under that sheet. Not anything. For a second he froze, feeling the hold he had on his desire begin to slip. He almost couldn’t believe the next words that spilled from his own mouth. “May I sleep with you?” Why was he asking her that? His brain knew that he needed to get as far away from her and the sensual energy between them as he could, but another part of him wanted to be close to her. Closer than close.
When she sharply arched her eyebrows at him and crossed her arms, he made a quick attempt at recovery. “In the room with you, I mean. When I’m close to you is the only time I feel calm.”
She glanced up at him. “You don’t look calm.”
He considered changing his position a bit to better hide his erection, but decided it was pointless. She’d already seen it and it wasn’t going away anytime soon. “Yeah well, I’d figured you might sleep in underwear, at the very least. Not naked.” She blushed and smirked a little, and the gesture only made his cock twitch further. “But feeling anything other than the need to kill someone is calm for me these days.”
“Ah, so I see.” They stared at each other for an awkward moment. “Okay,” she said, nodding her head assertively. “The couch pulls out into a bed, I believe. You can take that.”
“Thanks,” he grunted as he got up, feeling a bit uneasy. He pulled open the sofa bed and frowned at it. It was much shorter than he was, and he knew his newly long legs would dangle way over the edge, but he tried to make himself comfortable on it anyways. The mattress was thin, too, and the pillows on the couch weren’t fluffy at all. He turned to his left side, then his right, tried to lie horizontally, then diagonally. Thanks to her he also had to try to sleep on that small, hard sofa with a big, hard dick. The sound of Celise’s laughter added to the lust clenching his gut.
“You’re way too big for the couch. Perhaps we should switch?”
He grunted. “No. Just hand me some extra sheets, and I’ll be fine.”
“I really don’t mind.”
“This thing is crappy and uncomfortable. I didn’t come in here to put you out of your nice bed.”
“Then come join me.”
Jaxon’s breath caught in his throat. “What?”
“You may as well share the bed with me, then.”
He swallowed as his entire body went as stiff as a board. “Are you inviting me to –”
“To sleep,” she emphasized. “That’s all.”
He snorted. “I don’t think that’d be a good idea, doc.”
“I can put on a lab coat and sleep in that. And I just stuck the tranquilizer gun underneath my pillows.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Ha, you already saw what state I ended up in just looking at you. Sleeping next to you is just not gonna work.”
“Well, it’d be a good way for you to practice controlling your emotions.”
Keeping his eyes focused on the shadowy chair in the corner, he listened to the rustling of the sheets as she got out of the bed, toed over to the closet to grab a lab coat, and quickly put it on. He hated how clearly he could hear her every move, how aware he was of the stiff, cotton fabric sliding against her smooth, bare skin. And here she was talking about him joining her in bed so that he could practice maintaining self control. Was she kidding? She had to be kidding. And yet he found himself rising, as if his body wasn’t under his command, taking him to the bed where she was scooting under the covers.
“And if I fail?” His voice came out far raspier than he’d intended.
She shrugged, and the expression on her face remained stern, but the look in her eyes seemed to hide a gleam of playfulness, sensuality. “I’m armed with a sedative. Don’t forget, I’m a doctor, Jaxon. And a woman. I’ve dealt with unruly, horny men before. It’s really not that big of a deal.”
“Oh, it’s a big deal. Trust me,” he stated.
Celise merely smirked, unfazed, and beckoned him by patting the bed. He filled his lungs to capacity with air and exhaled long and hard before he quickly slipped under the crisp white sheet and stretched himself out along the edge of the bed as far from her as possible, facing away from her.
“Is there anything you wanted to talk about before I fall back asleep?”
He closed his eyes. Did her voice sound a little different while she was horizontal? Or was it just the fact that he was aware she was lying down so close to him that made it seem different?
“No.”
“How are you feeling? Is there anything you need at all?” He could practically feel her voice vibrate lightly across the bed, teasing him. Taunting him.
“I think you saw how I feel. What I need is for you to stop yammering and let me try to sleep. Not that I don’t thoroughly enjoy talking with you.”
She snickered. It was the soft, deep, throaty sound of a grown woman casually amused by the fact that she could so easily cripple a man—even a monstrous one—just by lying there. It made him a little annoyed that she was so unconcerned about the fact she was in a locked building, in a dark room, alone in the bed with a nearly seven foot-tall monster with a granite-hard erection. Didn’t she have any sense of self-preservation?
“You really should be a bit more afraid of me, Celise.”
“Why?”
“Because,” he admitted, barely above a whisper. “I am.”
There was silence for a long moment, before she spoke again. “I don’t think you want to hurt me, Jaxon. I don’t believe you want to hurt anybody, really. I believe if you did find yourself getting out of hand with me, you would stop yourself before you truly caused me any harm.”
“But why take that risk?”
“Because you took the risk in volunteering to be a test subject, which is the only reason you’re in this predicament. Because you need help regaining yourself. And because I think you’re worth the risk.” She smiled and rubbed her fingers along his forearm.
The muscles in his stomach and thighs clenched tight as his cock jumped, locked and loaded. He clutched his fists, gritted his teeth and tried to fight it, tried to push down the raging monster inside of him, but resisting it physically hurt. A grey haze clouded his vision, dulled his hearing, coated his thoughts, until he was no longer able to think at all. Only feel. And he wanted Celise. Needed her. Bad. Now.
He shot upright
and the next thing he knew, he was on top of her, pinning her underneath his big body. She blinked up at him, too shocked for words.
“I’m sorry,” he nearly growled the words, the last semblance of reason before he gave into the insanity. He smashed his mouth into hers and kissed the shit out of her. He sucked her lips, bit them, sucked them again, swallowed her tongue, penetrated her mouth with his tongue.
He tore at her smock, ripping it open in one easy movement, and released her breasts. Still kissing her, he gripped her left breast with his right hand, as he secured her underneath him with his other arm. As big as Jaxon’s hand was, her breast still filled it completely, parts of the soft flesh overflowing between his fingers, her nipple pressed hard against his palm. The sensation heated him, and he released his hold on her mouth slightly to release a groan. He paused ever so briefly.
“Want me to stop?”
“Jaxon,” she sighed his name on her breath, and he wasn’t certain if the response was protest or encouragement.
But the raspy, sensual sound of it was all the encouragement he needed.
He sat up, straddling her waist as he gripped her sides just below her rib cage, and lifted her breasts to his mouth. She fit so nicely in his hands, moved so easily with his manipulations. Bending forward and tilting her backwards in his hands, he connected her nipples with his lips and sucked on them long and hard, tasting her, feeling her on his face. Just faintly was he aware of her quickening breath and the trembling of her body, the slight pressure she applied with her hands against his shoulders, but he didn’t pay it too much attention. He was enthralled by her body, by her scent, by how she made him feel.
He reached down between them and slipped his hand between her thighs, forcing them apart so that he could touch her sex. She was warm, wet, and open, and his dick ordered him to penetrate her. He heard himself growling, panting, and he pushed her down upon the bed and kneeled between her legs, keeping them ajar for his entry. He griped her by her waist and maneuvered her into position, his dick cocked, aimed and ready to fire.
“Jaxon,” she squealed out his name again. “Wait—slow down.”
He could hear her clearly, but it was as if she were very far away. He didn’t have to listen to that pretty voice, did he? He bumped his erection against her lower lips and immediately hit a barrier. She was tight and tense, and it would not be as easy for him to penetrate her as he’d hoped. He yanked her bottom half upwards, repositioning her again.
“Jaxon, please,” the voice was louder this time. And more aggressive. “I said slow down!”
Every bone and muscle in his body wanted to continue, but he froze. He looked down at her, saw fear in her eyes for the first time since the day he transformed, and his heart ached. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, his dick still throbbing, his hands still gripping her waist, but he didn’t move. It took everything he had not to lift her hips at an angle and thrust into her, to not do what his body cried out to do, but he recalled the fear in her eyes and he held steady. “Tranquilize me.”
“I don’t think you need it. You’re doing okay. Just—just take a few deep breathes and let me go –”
“Shoot me, Celise. Now.”
He watched as she wriggled herself from underneath his rigid body enough to reach the tranquilizer gun stashed under her pillows, and shot him in the arm.
“Again,” he commanded when he felt his body resisting. She landed a second shot in his shoulder, and a third at his request, and only then did he feel he had enough of the drug in his bloodstream. Then they waited, staring at each other awkwardly with her still trapped beneath him as slowly, slowly, the monster retreated.
“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled, as he released his grip on her hips at last.
For a few long, agonizing moments, she didn’t respond. In the quietness he worried she hated him now, was no longer interested in helping him now that she finally realized she could not trust that she would be safe in his presence while he was like this.
But the voice that broke that silence didn’t sound angry, hateful or fearful at all. If anything, she sounded surprised, subdued, and if he wasn’t mistaken … aroused. “It’s okay, really. I didn’t necessarily want you to stop … just to slow down a bit.”
Jaxon sighed heavily, shaking his head as he rolled off her and positioned himself back on his edge of the mattress. “I could’ve hurt you, Celise”
“But you didn’t. You stopped yourself. See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”
Shit, yeah it was, he thought as he attempted to fold himself up, as if to make himself as small as possible, as he began to lose consciousness. Celise had no idea just how hard.
Chapter Six
Leaning against the lab table with one hand, Celise turned her head away and covered her mouth with the other as she tried in vain to stifle a yawn. For nearly an hour and a half after he’d lost consciousness, Celise had lain in that bed with him, wide awake in more ways than one.
It was now two-hundred percent clear to her that what he was suffering from, far more than his physical transformation, was his overwhelming senses and emotions and his difficulty in tampering down. Poor Jaxon. Now that Celise was beginning to fully understand the extent of his trauma, her empathy for him increased. She’d figuratively understood what he was saying before, but last night she’d experienced it. The intensity of his lust, that titanium tube of an erection that he pressed against her, and that insanely epic kiss which made her feel as if he were marking her, punishing her and thanking her all at once.
How was a woman supposed to sleep after being on the receiving end of a passion like that? The bigger question, actually, was how could a man who’d experienced that level of passion deal with it? Considering he’d begged her to tranquilize him, she guessed she had the answer to that question—he didn’t. She snorted and shook her head at herself for thinking a treadmill and punching bags would actually put a lid on that.
She glanced over at where Jaxon sat now, perched on a stool in the corner of the lab like a giant gargoyle. His body appeared stiff and his mouth was in a tight frown. He had been sulking as such since the moment he laid eyes on Victor and Sri when he followed her into the lab that morning. She’d warned him they would be here, but he’d insisted on not leaving her side until he was ready. So he’d sulked in the corner, visibility struggling to maintain his cool.
His thick arms were in front of him, displaying how he was now built for power and strength, and his big hands gripped the rim of the seat between his thighs. He’d said he hated what he looked like now. But Celise didn’t mind. She wasn’t even sure if it mattered what he looked like—the man was sexy, period, whether just normal-large or extra large.
Their eyes met and her heartbeat accelerated. His reptilian eyes were dark, hungry, the lids heavy. His lips were parted ever so slightly as he watched her, like a snake about to jump at her and wrap itself around her body. She could almost feel the lust rolling off him in waves.
And off herself. The magnetic attraction between them was definitely mutual. Damn, she was still hot from last night. The man could kiss. And work his hands. Her body burned just with the memory of his thick, hardness pressed against her. It had felt so big, so hard, it startled her. But oh—what a pleasant way to be startled.
Celise shook her head to regain her composure. Seriously, what was wrong with her? She didn’t fantasize during the day, especially not while working. The inadequate amount of sleep she’d gotten had to be the blame.
“Belderon, are you okay?” Sri’s voice snapped her out of the trance Jaxon’s gaze had her caught in.
Victor glared between Jaxon and Celise. “Maybe Wentworth really shouldn’t be in here while we’re trying to work.”
Celise shook her head. “He deserves to stay, watch and listen. This impacts him more directly than anyone.”
“He’s obviously an unproductive distraction.”
A threatening growl emanated from Jaxon’s throat. Celise turned just in tim
e to see him stand up, his posture menacing, his fists clutched tight, and his eyes narrowed into thin slits. “You haven’t seen me do distraction yet. Let’s see how well you concentrate if you’re dead.”
Victor’s face flushed and he scowled at Jaxon, raising a scalpel. “Are you threatening me?”
Celise moved in front of Victor to still him, her arms slightly outstretched as if to hold him back. “Relax doctor, just give him a moment,” she said. Then she turned her head to visually scold Jaxon. “Please, calm down. May I remind you that all of us are trying to help you? Try to use that knowledge to practice maintaining control.”
Jaxon scowled and folded his arms across his chest, but he blinked long and slow and gave a single obliging nod of his head as he sat back down.
Victor backed down, but he cut a last warning look over at Jaxon before turning his attention back to Celise. “You seem a bit unlike yourself today,” he whispered to her, palming her lower back. The tips of his long fingers splayed slightly over the top of her butt. “Did he frighten you at all last night? Are you really all right? Maybe you should let me be the one on Neanderthal watch today.”
“Dr. Morhamer, please remember that because of your efforts, even when you’re whispering, he can still hear you.” Celise pinched her lips together as she glanced at Jaxon out of the corners of her eyes, who was again rising to his feet at that very moment.
“Well, I think I better go and let you guys get to it.”
“Didn’t mean to offend you,” Victor muttered with a smirk.
“I couldn’t fucking care less about anything you say anymore. It’s what you do –” Jaxon snarled as he briefly eyed Victor’s hand, still touching Celise. “And what you don’t do that concerns me. Like fixing me.”
Way Out of Control Page 6