by Joan Jett
Yet Shepard seemed so happy, during our journey back to the Citadel.
I could tell he mourned Kaidan quietly, in the privacy of his thoughts. Even so, I think the success of our mission on Virmire allowed him to see his friend’s death as meaningful. It did not weigh on him as heavily as it might have done, had we failed.
He felt certain that Saren’s defeat was close at hand. His grim satisfaction conveyed itself to the rest of the crew, whose morale soared as high as I had ever seen.
I kept my misgivings to myself.
* * *
22 May 2183, Citadel
The moment Normandy docked, Shepard ordered Lieutenant Pressley to restock and prepare the ship for immediate departure. He then disembarked, escorted only by Ashley and me, ready to meet with the Council.
This was not my first time before the Council. Many years earlier, I had come before them as a very junior member of an asari scientific delegation. I had not been invited to speak, and indeed I doubted the Councilors had taken any note of me. Only Councilor Tevos still remained from that time; I did not know either Sparatus or Valern.
The human ambassador, Donnel Udina, met us at the entrance to the Council chambers. I had a mixed impression of Udina at that first encounter. He seemed physically unattractive by asari standards, but he dressed and presented himself very well. I could sense extreme intelligence, as befit the most influential human on the Citadel. He had a smooth manner, always concealing his true intentions behind a veneer of polished calm. He took my hand when Shepard presented me, greeted me courteously, but gave no hint of what he was thinking.
“You’ve done a good job, Shepard,” he said. “I must admit, I didn’t think your mission would come to anything. But thanks to you, the Council is finally taking real action against Saren.”
Shepard cocked an eyebrow at Udina. “Disappointed, Ambassador?”
“Of course not. You got the job done, you didn’t make any political messes I had to clean up, and you even made a few friends for humanity along the way. That constitutes a pleasant surprise. Now let’s go. The Council is waiting for us.”
The four of us walked up to the end of the audience ramp and stood before the Council.
As usual, Councilor Tevos spoke first. “Commander Shepard, we commend you on the success of your mission against Saren.”
I saw the first hint of a frown on Shepard’s face. “Councilor, I’m not certain my mission can be considered a success just yet.”
Tevos inclined her head regally. “It is true that Saren has not yet been apprehended, but thanks to you he poses no more threat to galactic civilization. If he is foolish enough to attack the Citadel, as you believe, then we will be ready for him.”
“Patrols have been stationed at every mass relay linking Citadel space to the Terminus Systems,” stated Councilor Sparatus. “Based on Admiral Hackett’s assessment after the Battle of the Armstrong Nebula, it is clear no remaining geth fleet will be strong enough to break our blockade. You have defeated Saren. It is only a matter of time before he is caught or killed.”
Shepard took a short step forward, placing himself at the focus of the Council’s attention. The frown on his face was quite visible now. “Councilors, I respectfully submit that a blockade is not enough. We may be ahead of Saren for the moment. We know where the Conduit is, and he may not yet have deduced its location, but that could change at any time. We must take more active steps to head him off and stop him.”
Councilor Valern shook his head within his hood. “Commander, the planet Ilos is only accessible through the Mu Relay, deep inside the Terminus Systems. If we send a fleet in there, the only possible outcome is full-scale war.”
Udina stepped forward and placed a hand on Shepard’s shoulder. “Now is the time for discretion, Commander,” he said quietly. “Secrecy was Saren’s greatest weapon. Now that he’s exposed, he’s no longer a threat. This is over.”
“Ambassador, Saren has gone well beyond secrecy. The Conduit is his objective.”
“Saren is a master manipulator,” said Valern. “Whatever the Conduit may be – and you have admitted you do not know that, Commander – it can only be a distraction from his real plan to attack the Citadel.”
Shepard shook off Udina’s hand and faced the Council once more. “Councilors. It would be very unwise to assume that Saren’s search for the Conduit is meaningless. By all means, set up your blockade. But send me after Saren. One stealthed ship going into the Terminus Systems won’t start a war. I can be discreet.”
Sparatus leaned forward, the picture of a military officer about to dress down a foolish subordinate. “You detonated a nuclear device on Virmire! I wouldn’t call that discreet.”
Tevos intervened, her body language and voice projecting calm assurance. “Commander, your style served you well in the Traverse, and you have accomplished all that this Council could have asked of you. But Ilos requires a deft touch. Please rest assured that we have the situation well under control.”
“If Saren finds the Conduit, we are all screwed,” said Shepard, his temper flaring up at last. “We have got to send an expedition to Ilos!”
Sparatus shook his head. “Ambassador Udina, I get the sense Commander Shepard isn’t willing to let this go.”
Udina nodded. “There are serious political implications here, Shepard. Humanity’s made great gains thanks to you. But if you insist on following your own foolish quest, then you’ve just made yourself more trouble than you’re worth.”
“You bastard!” snarled Ashley. “You’re selling us out!”
Udina opened his omni-tool and tapped in a few instructions as he turned back to face the Council. “It’s just politics, Commander. You’ve done your job, now let me do mine. I’ve just locked out all of the Normandy’s primary systems. Until further notice, you are grounded.”
“Are you insane?” demanded Shepard. “After everything my crew and I have accomplished, you still don’t believe us?”
Udina rounded on him, his urbane veneer discarded. “I think you forget your place, Lieutenant Commander. Admiral Hackett may be willing to tolerate your interference at the highest levels of decision-making. I am not. This matter no longer concerns you. I suggest you take your team and go. Leave important matters to adults.”
For an instant I felt quite convinced of Shepard’s self-portrait as a killer. Then his expression became glacially calm, and he turned to leave the Council chambers. Ashley and I followed.
* * *
We returned to the ship and found it pinned in place. The drives and weapons systems were locked down, their controls overridden by the Citadel through the umbilical link. Everything else worked normally, but the Normandy could go nowhere until the Council chose to relent.
The crew was in an uproar, like a hive of angry sphekes struck by a stone. Shepard ordered them back to their duties, conferred briefly with Lieutenants Pressley and Adams, and then went into his office to call Admiral Hackett.
I followed him. He noticed my presence, but did not object. I sat down out of the way as he activated his computer and made the call.
He had to wait for a few minutes, working his way through several gatekeepers. Eventually the screen cleared and Admiral Hackett’s rough-hewn face appeared.
“Commander Shepard. I’ve just been informed about what happened. I imagine I know why you’re calling.”
“Yes, sir. I’m hoping you can clarify the situation here.”
“Let me make one thing clear up front, Commander. You are still in command of the Normandy. That is not going to change.”
“Thank you, sir.” Shepard leaned forward. “Permission to speak freely?”
“Go ahead.”
“The Council has its collective head up its ass. Sir.”
Hackett snorted. “I quite agree. This blockade plan is fine as far as it goes, but they’re gambling on Saren launching a bull-headed frontal assault. We both know he’s smarter than that.”
“If he isn’t, he has
Sovereign to be smarter for him.” Shepard sat down at his desk. “Sir, the Red Team hasn’t reached many conclusions yet, but if the Reaper hypothesis is even close to correct, Sovereign must have the experience of thousands of cycles to draw on. A crust-defense strategy is just begging them to do to us exactly what they did to the Protheans.”
“Does Dr. T’Soni concur with your analysis?”
Shepard glanced at me. I rose and went to stand beside him. “I do, Admiral.”
“So do I. Unfortunately, there’s not much I can do at the moment. My staff is in the process of lodging a protest with the Council at the impoundment of one of our ships. Of course, since that protest would have to go through the Ambassador’s office, it’s not going to fly. We’re also working on our people in Parliament to see if we can go around Udina.”
“I’m not sure we have the time for any of that,” said Shepard.
“I’m quite sure we don’t, but this is where we are.” Hackett’s eyes narrowed as he watched Shepard. “Commander, are you interested in a piece of advice?”
“Sir, at this point I’ll take anything I can get.”
“The Council has made one very serious mistake with you. They haven’t revoked your Spectre status. Make the most of that.”
Shepard sat quietly for a long moment. “Thank you, sir.”
“We’ll speak again, Commander. Hackett out.”
The screen darkened. Shepard leaned back in his chair, almost slumping in dejection.
I turned and propped myself on the edge of his desk, folding my arms and looking down at him. For some reason I suddenly became very aware of his physical presence. It pulled at me like a cable drawn taut. Part of me wanted to climb onto his chair with him and drape myself along his body.
I pushed the urge down and said, “Well. Is that it?”
He opened his eyes and stared at me. “What do you mean?”
“Saren could reach the Conduit at any time. The galaxy is hanging in the balance. Are you just going to sit here and accept this?”
“Don’t worry, Liara. I’m going to get us back in the game somehow.” He sighed. “It’s just that at the moment, I don’t see how.”
“You’re still a Spectre,” I said softly. I was standing too close to him. His scent, sharp human male, was climbing up into my brain and causing all manner of interesting things to occur.
“Admiral Hackett said the same thing. Do the two of you see something I don’t?”
“Shepard, remember what being a Spectre means. You answer to no one but the Council. Laws, policies, chains of command, none of those apply to you. You’ve been entrusted with absolute authority to go and do what must be done.”
“Sure. Right up to the moment that the Council decides I’m more trouble than I’m worth. Which I think happened about an hour ago.”
“If the Council had reached that conclusion, they would have revoked your Spectre status.”
“They probably just haven’t gotten around to it yet.”
“Don’t be absurd, Shepard!” I snapped.
That brought him up short. He sat up in his chair and frowned at me.
“The Council is composed of three of the most intelligent, far-sighted, and cunning individuals in the galaxy. They have all spent years – in the case of Councilor Tevos, centuries – practicing the arts of power. They are not always right. In fact, they are sometimes spectacularly wrong. But they do not make simple oversights. If you are still a Spectre, it’s because they want you to still be a Spectre.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Shepard, have you ever considered what the Spectres are for?”
“We keep the peace in the galaxy, as agents of the Council,” he said slowly.
“That’s the official story. I’m sure you’re not so naïve as to believe the official story.”
He thought for a few moments. Suddenly his eyes caught mine, bright and crystal-blue. “We make policy.”
I watched him, waiting for him to think it through to the end.
“That’s why they give us such wide latitude, such freedom from oversight. The Council sees a problem they can’t solve. Maybe they don’t have all the facts. Maybe they’re afraid that if they get involved directly, they will only make matters worse. So they send out a Spectre. No instructions. No guidelines. Just solve the problem, any way you can. If the Spectre succeeds, then the Council backs him and the solution he found becomes policy. If he fails . . .”
“If he fails, then he becomes like Saren: suspended in disgrace. The Council can blame him and move on. The next Spectre sent to solve the problem may have better luck.”
He made a cynical snort. “Leaving the Council’s hands clean, no matter what.”
“Of course, Shepard. What did you expect?”
“I suppose there’s no other way to run a galactic empire,” he said. His voice turned ironic. “All right, you’ve convinced me. As long as I’m willing to take the blame if I fail, there’s nothing stopping me from doing whatever has to be done. I am about to get out of this chair, steal a ship, and go running off to the Pangaea Expanse, breaking any number of laws along the way, to save the Council despite its best efforts to commit suicide by Reaper.”
“If that’s what you want to do.”
He smiled. “Is this some kind of self-esteem workshop you’ve got going here, T’Soni? Anything is possible if you only want it badly enough?”
A daimon of anger and desire seized me. Blue light flared around my shoulders and upper arms. I reached down and grabbed him by the vest of his uniform, using a little biotic assistance to yank him to his feet. “Shepard, that would not be true for most of us. You are different. If you see what must be done, if you see something you want, you always seem to find a way.”
He looked a little shocked at the violence of my gesture, but then he realized just how closely we were standing.
“So what is it you want, Shepard?” I asked him quietly.
He must have seen something in my eyes, because suddenly there was a fierce glimmer in his own. He bent his face close to mine . . .
“Sorry to interrupt, Commander,” came Joker’s voice over the intercom. “You have an incoming message from Captain Anderson.”
I released Shepard and drew away slightly, shaking my head with amused frustration.
“Are you spying on us, Joker?” said Shepard.
“No, sir!” said the pilot, his voice laden with false sincerity. “Just knew you were in your office and figured I’d pass the message on. The captain said to meet him at Flux. That club down in Tayseri Ward?”
“I know the place. Thanks, Joker.”
We exchanged a look. “You’d better meet with him, Shepard. He may have an idea.”
Shepard nodded. “We’ll both go.”
Chapter 42 : Flight of the Normandy
22 May 2183, Citadel
Shepard walked out onto the floor at Flux. Tali and I followed him. By some odd coincidence, we found Captain Anderson sitting at the same table where we had all enjoyed a meal two months before.
I felt a twinge of sadness. Kaidan had been with us on that occasion.
I found David Anderson very impressive on our first encounter: an older male human, dark-skinned, his face round and stern, his hair close-cropped like Shepard’s, black with just a touch of grey. Even seated at a table he had great physical presence, big and imposing, although he clearly had not seen active service in some time. He had a smooth baritone voice, very pleasant to hear. I liked him at once.
“Shepard. I’m glad you came. I heard what happened.”
The three of us sat down. Shepard held up a hand, asking for patience as Tali checked her omni-tool.
“No listening devices, Shepard,” she reported quietly. “I’ve set up a white-noise signal anyway.”
“Thanks, Tali.” Shepard turned his attention to Anderson. “Captain, Tali’Zorah nar Rayya is one of the best engineers I’ve ever worked with. You already know Dr. T’Soni from the Red Tea
m.”
Anderson rose from his seat to take Tali’s hand first. Then he turned to me. His grip lingered on my hand as he examined me with keen interest, but I got no sense of sexual interest from him. His expression seemed almost parental.
“So you’re the young asari who swept Shepard off his feet,” he remarked quietly. I must have looked chagrined, because he smiled gently. “Don’t worry, Doctor, I approve. I’ve known Shepard for a long time. Since before he joined the Alliance, in fact. I’ve always suspected he would one day meet a truly exceptional woman. I’m pleased to see I was right.”
Suddenly a strong resemblance to Shepard struck me: both of them massively built human males, in peak condition, comfortable in their bodies and giving off a sense of raw physical power. I found it a very attractive feature. It occurred to me that if I had met Anderson first, perhaps I might have found him the target of my first serious romantic interest.
I mastered my confused emotions by concentrating on a precisely correct bow over his hand. “Thank you, Captain.”
Once we had all taken our seats and placed token orders with the server, Shepard said, “Well, Captain, they pulled me off the mission before it was finished. Just like when they forced you to give up the Normandy in the first place.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I overheard Udina talking about their plan for what to do in case you didn’t immediately fall in line. I wanted to warn you, but you had already docked and it was too late for me to get a message to you.” Anderson leaned forward, holding Shepard’s gaze. “Look, I know you’re pissed off right now, but you can’t give up. They all think this is over, but all of us on the Red Team know it’s not. You have to go to Ilos. You have to stop Saren from using the Conduit.”