‘More food, Hol?’ Harry said, offering her a huge tray of delicious-looking bagels and sandwiches.
‘No thanks,’ she said, looking at her watch. ‘I’m stuffed, and we’re losing light, and we’ve still got to get to the other side of London for the scene on the Heath! No, eating can wait.’
Harry stared at her with his eyes wide open.
*
By late afternoon, they were all out on the Heath, racing to get through the last scene before sundown.
‘OK, let’s just do this last take, and then we’ll call it a day,’ Holly said. ‘Any longer and we’ll have a hell of a time adjusting the sky in post!’
Later, after she had yelled, ‘OK everybody that’s a wrap’, and felt like a cross between a pretentious twat and a movie sensation, they had an impromptu wrap party picnic. They chose a spot overlooking the ponds, not far from where four broken-hearted friends had gathered one Sunday, over a year ago.
‘Hey, massive well done today, Holly,’ said Luke, handing out glasses of Prosecco to everyone. ‘You’d never have known it was your first time. Well, except maybe when you gave me that note to “Keep it light-hearted, but with gravitas!”’
‘Yes, sorry, I’m the queen of conflicting feedback, aren’t I? I just hope we’ve got the film we want out of it, and that it’s something for both our reels.’
‘Sure we have. This job will shine in the edit, that’s what they say, isn’t it?’ Luke smiled, opening another bottle of Prosecco, sending the cork flying over the Heath, narrowly missing a passing Labrador.
‘Hopefully, yes.’ She smiled, taking a cup and clinking it with his.
*
For the next week, Holly didn’t see daylight. Every spare minute at work was devoted to the edit in the broom cupboard, switching between The Madhouse and Mind The Gap at every opportunity. When she came up for air again, she had one painstakingly edited film on her computer.
‘What do you think?’ she said to Harry, who had just watched the full thirteen minutes.
‘Yeah. It’s beautifully shot. Good choice on the music. Love a bit of Eno. You’ve done a great job.’
‘But?’ Holly said, her stomach tightening.
‘But it feels too woolly. I think it’ll have far more punch if you cut it back a bit. At the moment it feels indulgent and you start to lose sympathy for him.’
‘Right.’
‘So. I think there are quite a few scenes you could let go of, and the overall impact will be much more memorable. For example, towards the end, maybe it’s enough that you see him take the wedding dress out of the box – you don’t need to see her in the photo frame wearing the dress. That way, when you see him taking it to charity, you’ve only hinted at the significance of it. You imagine her filling it, which is more poignant than if you’d spelled it out.’
Holly scrolled back through the timeline and nodded. ‘You’re so right. I was really labouring it wasn’t I!’
‘Sometimes what you don’t say is even more powerful. Brevity is the soul of wit, and all that! As true as life as it is in art,’ and Harry looked at her in that way where he saw right into her soul again.
‘Right. Bugger off then while I give it another go.’
‘Don’t be disheartened though. It always takes longer to make something shorter. Remember what Pascale said: “I would’ve written you a shorter letter, but I didn’t have the time”.’
‘What? Pascal? When did you meet him?’
‘No! Blaise Pascale! The seventeenth-century philosopher?’
‘Oh! Right. Love you, you big pontificating idiot.’
‘Love you too,’ he said, giving her a hug before leaving her alone.
Holly disappeared back into her editing bubble for another few hours. This time when she came up for air she had a much punchier seven-minute version. Then, after ironing out the usual issues to do with aspect ratios, and export formats without getting into a flap, she uploaded it to the film competition website just in time for the deadline. She closed her eyes, rested her head on her ergonomic wrist cushion and felt her phone beep.
‘Amazing news! Liv is awake. Harry x’
36. Alight Here
Bella and Holly walked into the ICU ward as they had done every day for the last month, walking past the lemon yellow curtain, past the bed where Olivia’s noisy neighbour normally lay. But today the yellow curtain was drawn wide open, and the bed was empty. She tried hard not to think about why this might be, as she walked on towards the next bed along.
Olivia was sitting up, the cannula tubes winding from her nose to her ears, and a small dressing over her throat, just below her Adam’s apple. She turned towards them and managed a smile.
‘Liv!’ Holly said as she reached her. Cautiously she planted a kiss on her cheek.
‘Happy New Year,’ Olivia said, her voice so hoarse it was essentially a whisper. The others stared at her, not sure what to do next.
‘Yes. Happy New Year indeed!’ said Holly.
‘It’s safe to hug me. I won’t break.’
‘Sorry.’ As Holly hugged Olivia tentatively she felt caught between the desire to smother her with affection and kisses, but also to shout about how incredibly thin and frail she was. She plumped for neither.
‘What’s this for?’ Holly dared to ask, pointing at the dressing on her throat.
Olivia shrugged. ‘Oh, it’s nothing,’ she said, looking at the nurse.
‘It’s where we had to go in for her tracheotomy,’ said Shauna.
Holly’s eyes widened.
‘It’s just a small breathing tube,’ said Shauna. ‘Don’t worry. It’s not painful. You might hear the wind whistling through it, but not for long. No smoking for you, Madam!’
Olivia managed a meek smile.
‘Well this really is the least glamorous-sounding disease, isn’t it,’ Olivia said after a long silence. ‘I mean, can there be anything more gross than Influenza of the Pig?!’
They laughed uncomfortably.
‘It’s actually kind of funny, isn’t it – you’d have thought Miss Piggy would wind up in here, not Liv.’
‘Humour now, Bella, really?’ Holly said.
Olivia broke into an enormous smile. And, like it was the first time in months, she began to laugh hysterically, before stopping and looking exhausted.
‘Hey, love, don’t overdo it, please!’ Holly said, stroking her forehead. ‘Still, they do say laughter is the best medicine so maybe I’ll let you off that one.’
‘I still can’t believe you left your trip for me,’ Liv whispered to Bella.
‘Er, you did almost pop your Jimmy Choo clogs, Liv.’
Olivia shrugged this off as a trifling detail. ‘Well it’s very kind of you. Not sure I’d have left a tropical beach… even my own mum and dad couldn’t do that,’ she said, her smile not quite reaching her eyes.
‘I’m so sorry. We did try calling them, but we could only get hold of your housekeeper,’ Holly said. ‘She said she’d tell them to come and see you when they’re back next week.’
Olivia forced a smile. ‘Oh, that’s good of them.’
‘But it’s like we kept telling the nurses. We’re your family now,’ Holly said.
‘How are you feeling though? Don’t speak too much if it’s tiring – you should rest your voice,’ Bella said.
‘They’re saying I’m out of the danger zone,’ she croaked. ‘I just need to really rest for a few weeks. And put some weight on.’
‘That sounds like a good idea,’ Holly said. ‘Oh, Liv. You gave us such a scare. I’m so sorry if we weren’t paying you enough attention. Things got a bit carried away with the Club…’
‘Yeah but whose fault was that? I turned into a complete control freak.’
‘Hey,’ Bella said, ‘I think we all went a little crazy in our own ways.’
‘The irony is, I’ve really got my appetite back now, despite all this hospital food,’ Olivia said. ‘Do you know, they serve curry every night as the main op
tion for the evening meal? Really spicy curry, even though half the people in here have heart conditions?!’
‘At least you’re eating, that’s the main thing,’ Holly said.
Olivia nodded slowly. ‘They keep trying to give me all these funny little pamphlets. And they want me to see some sort of counsellor. Which I think is a bit excessive. Not sure how I’ll find the time once I’m back at work. But we’ll see.’
‘Sounds like it would be worth making time for,’ Holly said.
‘I guess I can use the sessions to work through some of my deep-rooted parent shit. Either that, or I just officially divorce the fuckers and be done with it.’
‘That’s an option! You can represent yourself, too,’ Holly said while fluffing Olivia’s pillows. Then, while Bella gently tipped Olivia forward, Holly made a big performance out of repositioning all the cushions. She took the first pillow and changed it so it was vertical, then moved the one on top to be horizontal. Somehow it worked, and Olivia smiled.
‘Oh that’s so much better, thank you,’ she said, motioning towards the cup of plastic water on her bed tray. Holly picked it up and held it to Olivia’s mouth.
‘So what have I missed so far in this brand new year then?’
As they filled Olivia in on everything she’d slept through, the cannula kept on falling out of her right nostril. Holly soon became master of putting the small tube back in and fiddling with the cord around the back of her head to adjust it.
‘Oh, girls, I was having the weirdest visions though…’ Olivia said. ‘While I was unconscious, I dreamed that Jonny was sitting by my bed. Telling me that he wished he’d not dicked around all that time! And that he wished it wasn’t so late – and that if I woke up he’d be a better man. Or something like that. I mean – as if.’
‘Sshhhh, Liv, breathe,’ Holly said, stroking her hair. ‘Take it easy, lady; you’ve been through a lot. You’re bound to have had some weird visions. You’re going to be OK though.’
‘Where’s Harry?’
‘He’s coming later. You’re only allowed two visitors at a time, so we’ve staggered it. But hopefully when Sandra’s back on duty she’ll let Harry in at the same time as us. It is a bit quieter in here today.’
‘Yes, Sandra’s the more laid-back nurse,’ Bella said, ‘we love her. She used to let us hold Club meetings round your bed!’
‘You’re not serious. You made all the other patients listen to you dribbling on about your tedious break-ups?!’
‘’Fraid so. We kept it up in your honour! We kept our voices really low though…’ Holly said.
‘We thought it might help bring you back!’ Bella added. ‘And maybe it did,’ she whispered.
At that moment the nurse came over. ‘Ladies, you’re going to need to resume the lonely hearts’ club another time for me. There’s a gentleman here to visit Olivia. Only two at a time, remember.’
‘Oh,’ Holly said. ‘I told Harry to come at seven. Boo. Oh, well, bye Liv. We’ll come and see you tomorrow, same time-ish.’ She leaned in to kiss Olivia goodbye, and gave her another cup of water. ‘Drink lots of this, remember. And stuff your face like there’s no tomorrow.’
Olivia rolled her eyes.
‘Yes. The quicker you do, the sooner we get you back!’ Bella said.
As they headed out the ICU ward, disposing of the plastic gowns and masks in the special bins on the left-hand side of the door, they saw a familiar face sat on a plastic chair in the hallway. He was holding a huge bouquet of flowers and a grave expression. He was unshaven, his shirt was crumpled and his eyes had huge dark bags under them. At first Holly thought it was the main character in her film, but then she realised.
‘Jonny!?’
‘Hey girls,’ he said as he stood up, and Holly gave him a hug.
‘Shit, I’m so sorry, we were going to try and get hold of you, but what with one thing or another we hadn’t got round to it.’
‘Don’t worry, Dan called me. He said he’d seen how sick she was, and that it was against his moral code not to tell me!’
‘Oh, good, I’m glad. So you’ve been in already?’ Bella said.
‘Yeah, I came in yesterday briefly. I’m so glad she’s woken up.’
Bella was looking at Jonny oddly, as if calculating something.
‘What?’ he said.
‘Nothing.’
‘So how is she today?’ he asked.
‘She’s a lot brighter,’ Holly said. ‘The oxygen level in her blood is still pretty low, so they’re monitoring her and giving her regular nebulisers.’
‘To keep her airways moist, or something like that,’ Bella added. ‘It’s not nice, but at least they’ve stopped giving her those CPAP mask things – she said it was like sticking your head out of a car in the fast lane on a motorway. Horrible!’
Jonny went a shade paler. ‘Shit, poor Liv. It sounds so awful.’
‘But she’s getting there, Jonny,’ Holly said, resting a hand on his shoulder. ‘I think she’s finally over the worst of it, luckily.’
*
‘Well Liv, this place is much more you, isn’t it,’ Bella remarked, sitting next to Olivia’s bed and feeding her triangles of daintily cut smoked salmon sandwiches.
A week later, Olivia had been discharged from ICU and relocated to a clinic on Harley Street, for a period of convalescence. In a true testament to friendship, Holly had spent the afternoon helping a much healthier-looking Olivia to wax her secret upper lip hair, while they waited for the full BUC complement to arrive for the Sunday night meeting. Well, if they were still calling it that. Holly was trying to reframe it in her mind as simply a warm gathering of friends.
‘Well, I figured I’ve been paying extortionate healthcare insurance for so long that I may as well be more comfortable!’ Olivia said, her voice now much less hoarse.
‘Exactly,’ Holly said.
‘Um, if it’s not too inappropriate to do so, I’d like to share some news,’ Bella said. ‘Jeremy has just said he wants to fly me out to Ko Pha Ngan for a month! To star in the pilot for his reality show about backpacking!’
‘What, as in Jeremy, the reason there is evil in the world?’ Holly said.
‘He’s not that bad!’
‘No, he really is. To start with, that was my idea, and he’s not even told me he’s still progressing with it, despite having fired me.’
‘I’ll have a word with him, Hol, make sure you get to be the editor on it. Don’t worry!’
Holly pretended to mop her forehead with relief. ‘Phew, thanks B.’
‘Bella, you’ll let me read your contract before you get on any planes,’ Olivia said. ‘I don’t trust that letch as far as I could throw him.’
‘Here, have some more sandwich,’ Bella said to Olivia, who looked apprehensive but took one anyway.
‘What about your new career? And what about Joel?’ Holly said.
‘The music therapy course doesn’t start ’til September. And don’t worry – Joel is coming with me! We’re going to nip to Australia once filming’s wrapped, and go and meet his folks!’
‘Well, while we’re doing announcements. I also have some news for you. Bear with.’ Olivia looked even more nervous. ‘You might want to sit down, actually.
There were only two visitor’s chairs in the room, so Holly sat on Bella’s lap.
‘OW! OK. What is it?’ Bella said. ‘Whatever it is we won’t love you any less.’
‘Yeah. I just waxed your lip hair, for the love of God. Nothing can be worse than that,’ Holly said.
‘Jonny and I are together. I mean, properly this time.’
Nobody spoke.
‘WOW. That was biblical!’ Harry said, emerging from the en suite bathroom with a white fluffy towel around him and a grin on his face. ‘I just had a shower SITTING DOWN on a chair!’ Having run all the way to the hospital and arrived dripping in sweat, Harry had decided to take full advantage of the benefits of private medicine. ‘What’s happened?’ he said, seeing ever
yone’s shocked faces. ‘Liv? Are you OK?’
‘I think our Liv’s got something to tell you, Harry,’ Bella said.
‘What? Don’t tell me you’re pregnant. The nurse said that might be what caused you to get so sick, but we didn’t like to pry until we knew if you were going to make it…’
‘Christ no! That was just speculation! Thank the Lord,’ she said, as a chorus of ‘phews’ ran around the room. ‘No, I would like to formally announce that Olivia Mahoney is now in a relationship. And it’s not even complicated.’
‘No fucking way,’ Harry said.
‘Yes. Me and the mandroid are actually going to give it a proper go. Crazy, huh.’
‘I think I love you a little less,’ Harry said, shaking his head, while Holly laughed.
‘Oh come on, people. He said he loved me!’
Bella cooed, while the others said nothing.
‘Yeah, I know, he’s been a massive twat. But you can’t help who you love. So I have to give it a go.’
‘So it took the flu of the swine to unlock the tin man armour!?’ Bella said, marvelling at the true romance of it all. ‘I know I never approved and it broke all the rules, but I suppose some were meant to be weren’t they?’
Holly and Harry looked at each other, eyes smiling.
‘Well this is all very Jane Austen, isn’t it? People becoming ill and well again, all in accordance with the slings and arrows of Cupid?’ Harry said.
Olivia grinned. ‘He says he’s going to take us to Tuscany, just as soon as I’m feeling up to it. To fully recuperate.’
‘Recuperate, eh?’ Harry said.
‘Yeah. Well. You know what they say about flu,’ Bella said, winking. ‘Lots of bed rest.’
EPILOGUE
(three months later)
‘The camel became lighter and lighter as it walked through time, it kept shaking memories and photos off its back, scattering them over the desert floor and letting the wind bury them in the sand… and gradually the camel became so light that it could trot and even gallop in its own curious way – until one day, in a small oasis that called itself the present, the exhausted creature finally caught up with the rest of me.’
Break-Up Club Page 37