The Ricci’s said their goodbyes to me and Mikey, leaving the three of us to get on with the celebration.
“What’s Wednesday?” I asked, hoping all was okay.
“It’s my graduation! Can you come too, Luca?”
Sabrina placed a hand on Mikey’s shoulder. “Sweetie, I explained that Luca works during the week. We’ll celebrate with him afterwards.”
“I’ll take the time off,” I blurted out.
“Really?” The wonderment on his face melted my heart.
“Yes, I promise.”
Mikey raised a fist in triumph. “See Mom, he can come!”
My eyes cut to Sabrina’s, worried I overstepped. Part of me felt slighted over not being asked. I understood she didn’t want to put me in a position to have to say no, but if it meant a lot to him, then it meant even more for me to be there.
While Mikey skipped ahead, she touched my arm and with a small smile mouthed, “Thank you.”
Sabrina
The elementary school’s auditorium began to fill by noon. My parents walked in taking the two seats to my left, while my sweater rested on the seat to my right saving it for Luca. Mikey couldn’t contain his excitement during breakfast this morning. After each spoonful of Rice Krispies, he would tell me another part of the ceremony his class practiced.
Every few minutes I’d tap my phone to check the time. It was almost about to begin, and Luca’s chair was still vacant. I thought of texting him but didn’t want to in case he was driving. Disappointment was obvious each time I saw the door open to see it wasn’t him entering.
My mom caught my expression. “Maybe he’s stuck in traffic.” I forced down a swallow and nodded. All I could think of was something happened. There would be no way he’d break his promise to Mikey. He knew how much it meant to him.
Fifteen minutes later, the principal stepped to the microphone in the center of the stage announcing the ceremony would begin in five minutes. My phone vibrated and when I saw his name appear in a text message, my heart sank.
Luca: Sabrina, I can’t make it. Jude is away and an important client needs to meet today instead of tomorrow because he’s returning to Europe tonight. There’s no way for me to reschedule it. I need to take care of this. I’m so sorry. Please tell Mikey congratulations for me.
Was he kidding? My heart fell like a skydiver without her parachute. I gripped my phone, surprised it didn’t crack in my hand. This was all my fault. I should have nipped it in the bud when he promised Mikey he’d be there. As his mother, I knew better making such a promise could lead to heartbreak, and that was exactly what was going to happen to my son.
When the lights dimmed I noticed my mom, whose sad eyes mirrored mine. “Is he okay?”
“He’s not coming.”
She placed her hand on my shoulder. “I’m sure it couldn’t be helped, Sabrina.”
“I understand that, but Mikey won’t.”
Shutters clicked on cameras as each student took their prideful place on the stage. Mikey spotted us sitting in the first row, but his wide smile faded when he scanned the chair next to mine. Rather than confirm his suspicion that Luca was a no show, I just gave him a wave followed by a thumbs up.
Throughout the various songs, short speeches, and the handing out of their completion certificates, my adorable innocent son, kept an eye on the door. The only smile he gave was when I took a picture of him accepting his kindergarten diploma while standing next to the principal and Cassie.
When I caught Cassie’s eyes she gave me with a knowing expression. I wondered if he texted her too? When her smile faltered, I guessed he had.
After the pomp and circumstance, the children descended the steps to greet their families. Each one of them were happy, except for Mikey who looked as though he was about to cry. Steeling myself, I plastered the biggest smile I could muster on my face. There was no way in hell I was going to let Luca’s absence ruin this moment for my son.
“Sweetie.” I knelt down. “I am so proud of you.” After a good hard squeeze, I released him to allow my parents to congratulate him next.
He gave them a timid smile before asking me, “Where’s Luca?”
Dread filled me because my son was once again going to be crushed. “He couldn’t come, but he wanted me to congratulate you.”
“Why not? He promised.”
“He had a work meeting come up. He’s sorry.”
Cassie approached us and put her arm around Mikey. “You had such a great year. I’m going to miss having you in my class.”
Mikey nodded but didn’t say a word. In all the happiness that surrounded us, my son appeared to be in a spotlight of sadness. My heart ached for him and the longer his smile was a frown, the more irritated with myself I became.
My parents pulled Mikey to the side to take a picture with each of them leaving me with Cassie. When she placed her hand on my forearm, I had to fight back the tears that were forming.
“Luca texted me. He feels horrible.”
Knowing how close she was with Luca, I needed to choose my words wisely. “I know he does, but look at my son’s face.”
She nodded. “I knew the exact moment he realized Luca wasn’t coming.”
There weren’t any words that I could add to her statement. Cassie continued to try to placate the situation, but there was nothing she could say that could change the outcome.
“We need to get going. We don’t want to miss the cupcakes.”
With a knowing nod, Cassie gave me a tight smile. “Have fun.” She walked away to visit with some of her other students.
Taking Mikey’s hand in mine, we walked to the gymnasium where refreshments were provided. Thankfully, Jared spotted him and the two went off to enjoy the treats.
Becky walked up to me licking vanilla frosting off her thumb. “I thought Luca was coming?”
“So did I.” Even Becky flinched at my snark. “He had a meeting and couldn’t leave work.”
“That stinks. I bet he’s sad he didn’t see Mikey graduate. That man loves your son.”
She was right. I knew he loved him and wanted to be there, but that didn’t negate my son’s fragile state of mind. “I’m sure he is.”
“I don’t doubt that he’ll come by when he can. Then Mikey can show him his certificate and you can share the pictures you took. It won’t be the same, but I’m sure he’d appreciate it.”
“Beck, did you see Mikey’s face? The kid was devastated. I need to worry about him before I worry about Luca seeing a picture.”
“Yes, I understand. I just meant…”
“I know what you meant… and I appreciate it. But, my head isn’t there right now.”
Her ex-husband walked up to us and placed his hand on her lower back. “I need to get going. I’ll pick him up after work.” He kissed her on her cheek before heading out.
“That was interesting,” I said to her. “He kisses you now?”
She shrugged. “Whatever. He’s still an asshole.”
That was the first time I genuinely laughed all day.
Mikey and I had a nice quiet dinner—the complete opposite of what I had pictured. Each attempt to keep his spirits up had failed. By the time we finished watching, Monsters, Inc., a movie that would normally have my son laughing, Mikey yawned.
“Are you tired, honey?”
He nodded. “Has Luca called you?” I shook my head and led him to his room. Tears welled in his little brown eyes until they spilled down his face. “He lied.” Throwing himself on his bed, I watched his chest heave with a hitch. “Just like daddy promised he wouldn’t go away anymore, Luca broke his promise too. I’m never going to lie to someone I love. I hate him… I hate them both.”
I laid beside him and pulled him into my arms. “No, you don’t, honey, you’re just disappointed, there’s a big difference. Plus, you shouldn’t hate anyone.” My son’s tears dampened my cotton shirt. “Shh, it’s okay. I’ll always be there for you. That’s a promise you can count on.”
“I love you, more. How about a bedtime story?”
“No. I don’t want one tonight.”
Sadness washed over me when he refused one of his favorite rituals. My hand rubbed his small back in an attempt to soothe him but nothing was working. Knowing my son the way I did, I knew it wasn’t just Luca’s absence. It was the memory of pure devastation coupled with confusion that resurfaced in his mind.
After I kissed his wet cheek goodnight, I cuddled up beside him holding onto him as he cried himself to sleep. I felt this had little to do with Luca, and all to do with old wounds reopening. And as I stared at my son’s face, one that resembled his father’s, I wondered if his little heart would ever mend.
Chapter 27
Luca
On a deep breath, I pressed the white button next to her last name. Several long seconds passed, and her voice still hadn’t come over the intercom, forcing me to press it once more. Finally, a groggy Sabrina asked, “Who is it?”
“It’s me.” It took longer than it should have for the latch on the door to release. Once it did, I didn’t hesitate to walk in carrying the gift I bought for Mikey’s graduation, and one that meant a lot to me.
Normally, she would have been waiting for me in the threshold, but not tonight. I rapped my knuckles on the metal door. Three locks sounded before she appeared. Her eyes didn’t meet mine, nor did she smile.
“Hi.” I pecked her lips as she let me pass. Glancing around the room, I noticed Mikey’s school supplies and folders on her coffee table. When I heard the door click closed, I turned to face her. “Did I wake you?”
“No, I was just lying down.”
Her pretty face was clean of makeup, making the redness around her eyes even more predominant. “Are you okay?”
“Not really,” she responded without hesitation. Sabrina wrapped her arms around her body, accentuating how the oversized T-shirt and sweatpants she wore hung on her frame.
“I’m so sorry I missed it. I really am, Sabrina.” The only response I received was a halfhearted nod. “Can I talk to Mikey? I’d like to explain.”
The woman I’d come to love was expressionless. With every beat of silence that went by, I knew deep down I had my work cut out for me.
“He’s sleeping,” she said with a resigned tone. “He’s had a long day… and night. We both have.”
Setting his gifts on the small table on top of some of his schoolwork, I took a few steps closer and wrapped her in my arms. Limp arms hung at her sides, yet I refused to let go. “I’m so sorry. You have no idea how badly I wanted to be there today. But this client…”
“Don’t,” she whispered, stepping out of my hold. Determination replaced the defeat I saw in her when I walked in. “It’s done. I understand the obligations that go hand in hand with your job, but Mikey doesn’t. This morning, he couldn’t contain his excitement. It was as if he was hopped up on sugar.” I smiled knowing exactly what that meant.
“After meeting you, I started to feel desired. It was something so foreign, yet wonderful. I went from being a military wife, to a mother, to a widow, and somewhere along the line I lost myself. I had all of titles, which I was proud of, but something was missing. Over the past few months, I’ve come to realize that something was you.”
Taking her trembling hands in mine, I asked, “You’re worthy of those feelings and so much more. Knowing I am responsible for that makes me happy. I’m failing to see how that’s a bad thing?”
“Because dating wasn’t on my radar, it wasn’t even a blip on the screen. This all happened too fast and maybe it shouldn’t have.”
“Are you saying you regret our relationship?”
“I regret bringing a man into his life too soon after he lost his father.”
There was no way I could hide my disbelief. I felt like she was a different person than the woman I came to know, to love. I had always felt she compared me to a ghost without intending to, but hearing her now only solidified my suspicions.
“You keep comparing me to Dillon. I can’t compete with a ghost. I know even if he didn’t die, you wouldn’t be together because of the other woman. From what I know of your late husband, I’m nothing like him. I’d never hurt you the way he did or take our relationship for granted. I thank God every day for bringing you and Mikey into my life. Do you really think that little of me?”
“I don’t think little of you, Luca. You are a wonderful man. I also thank God for bringing you into our lives, and I couldn’t have asked for a more genuine, kind, caring person to have spent the past few months with.”
“So then why push me away? Is this really about Mikey, Sabrina?”
“It’s all about Mikey. I was swept away with my own happiness that I didn’t stop to think what would happen if my son grew attached so quickly. Here’s the thing, if we started dating conventionally, and not because of a soccer ball my son kicked at your head, I wouldn’t have even introduced you two yet.
“Do you know how he fell asleep tonight?” I remained silent to allow her to admit what was on her mind. “He cried to the point where his body trembled, something he hadn’t done in months. In his young impressionable mind, he can’t distinguish the difference between why his dad left and why you were absent.
“Do you know during the entire ceremony today, he kept looking at the door waiting for you to walk through it? That damn empty chair next to me was his sole focus. It was a constant reminder that you weren’t coming. That his mother let him down.”
“You didn’t. I did.”
“No, I did. The day I started a relationship with you knowing full well that we weren’t just a couple, we were a threesome. I set him up for disappointment.” I stared dumbfounded into her misty eyes.
“Sabrina… if I could just talk to him and explain.”
“I think that would make it worse.” She let out a long breath. “I’m not blaming you, Luca. This is all my fault. I brought a man into my son’s life when he was still grieving the loss of his father. I should have known better than to allow you to promise him anything. You can’t do that to a child. You’re not a parent, so I don’t expect you to understand.”
I could feel my ribcage begin to close around my heart. No, I wasn’t his parent, but I loved him as if he were my own. All I wanted was to protect that boy, love him, be the male influence he needed.
Before I could argue, she captured her resolve, straightened her spine, and said, “This can’t go on.”
“What can’t?”
She pulled her hands from mine. “You’re a wonderful man, Luca. If Mikey was older or my situation were different, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. The fact is, we were dealt a shitty hand, and because of it I need to make sure my son is always my first priority.” She shook her head from side to side. “I should have listened to my gut.”
“What was your gut telling you?”
“It was too soon.” She wiped the tears that fell with her fingertips.
I took a step toward her. The need to comfort her overwhelmed me. But when she took a step back, I knew everything between us had changed.
“I think you should go.”
“Sabrina, please don’t do this. Let’s sit, talk this out. What happened today couldn’t be helped. I can come back in the morning when he’s awake and explain everything to him. He might not understand at first, but at least let me try. I love that little boy more than you’ll ever know, and the last thing I’d want to do is hurt him, or you.”
She took a few steps away and picked up a crinkled crayoned drawing. “See this?” I stared at the artwork of a man, woman and boy, with green scribbles beneath their sneakered feet and a soccer ball between them. At the top it said, My Family. “He was so excited to give this to you today. When we got home, I couldn’t find it in his book bag. You know why?” I shook my head. “Because he threw it away. So, now you see why coming back tomorrow isn’t a good idea. Witnessing the hurt my son felt today, re
versing all the progress he made after his father’s death, broke my heart.”
“What are you saying, Sabrina? I need to hear the words. Don’t force me to guess.” I silently prayed to God that my instincts were wrong… that this wasn’t the end of us.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think we should continue to see each other.” Her voice quivered as she confirmed my suspicion. “I need to end it.”
The skin on my face prickled. “I don’t believe you. This can’t end, Sabrina. We’re just getting started. There’s so much ahead of us… so much I want to share with you. I’m begging you to please reconsider. You deserve to be happy, and by being with me I thought you were.”
“My happiness isn’t what’s important—Mikey’s is.” When my jaw went slack she added, “I know he’s happy when he’s with you. But, he’s just too young to understand when life gets in the way and stops someone from being there. It took a lot for him to move on after his father’s death, but in one day I saw the child that he was a year ago resurface… withdrawn, sulking, crying, angry, blaming himself. It’s not right, Luca. He’s five years old. He should be unaware of life’s cruelties; but he isn’t unaware, and that’s his sad reality.”
“I get it. I understand where you’re coming from, but we fit. The three of us fit perfectly, and to ignore that would be a shame. In a year, he may not remember this. We can help him move on, create new happy memories to replace the bad ones.” I took her hand and led her to the couch, forcing her to sit beside me. “Are you scared to move on? Is this what this is about?”
“Of course I’m scared,” she responded defensively. A heavy sigh filled the pause before she added, “You asked me not to compare you to a ghost, and that was a fair request. But, Mikey is doing just that. He compared you to Dillon, and said just like his dad promised that he wouldn’t go away anymore, you broke your promise as well.” She lifted her eyes, crushing me with the sadness in them. “Luca, he said he hated you both.” Tears spilled, the sight of them adding to my torment, and combined with her words they sliced me open.
The Mr. Wrong Series Page 74