by Julia Wolf
“I look forward to it,” he stated simply, smiling warmly at me.
We spent the rest of breakfast discussing paint colors, floor finishes, and debating whether one should paint wood trim or not. I didn’t admit that I had a whole file on my computer filled with decorating ideas for the stone house.
Frannie checked the time on her phone. “Hey, Rach, we better head to the train station. I’m going to run to the ladies’ room. Be right back.”
I turned to Joe and our eyes met. He pulled my hands into his, rubbing his thumbs back and forth on my skin, the way he liked to do. My heart fluttered at the way he looked at me so very seriously.
He leaned in, his eyes never leaving mine. “This is going to be incredible. You know that, right?”
“What is?” I asked softly.
“Being close to each other. Because, Rachel, I need to be close to you.”
I blinked. “You do?”
He dipped his chin. “And, Rachel, we’re going to talk about all the things we’ve been avoiding.” He smoothed his hands up and down my arms.
“Okay, Joe.”
He leaned forward and whispered into my ear, “This, you and me, this is happening. I know you feel it too.” He sat back in his chair to look at me. I nodded dumbly, unable to convince my mouth to form words. I didn’t know what exactly he wanted from me: to act on our powerful physical chemistry, or if he had real feelings for me he wanted to explore. I hoped both.
“I’m going to take your silence as agreement. Two weeks, Rachel, and then no more distance, okay?” he asked, his eyes softer and a little vulnerable.
“What’d I miss?” Frannie stood next to the table with her hands on her hips. Neither of us had noticed her approach with how immersed we were in each other.
I stood abruptly, not sure whether I was relieved or disappointed the intense spell Joe had put me under with his touch and words had been broken. “Time to go?” I asked.
All three of us walked outside and I stood back as Frannie and Joe gave each other a friendly hug.
“Nice to see you again, Frannie,” he said when he pulled back.
“You too, Joe. I look forward to spending more time with you after you move.” She pointed a finger at him. “Treat my girl right. I’ll be watching!”
Joe looked at me and smiled. “Always.” I walked into his arms and let myself be wrapped up in him one more time. I gathered all my courage and stood on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear.
“No more distance.”
Our eyes connected, and he breathed out a sigh, resting his forehead on mine.
“This is going to be a long two weeks.”
I nodded, then hugged him one more time. “I miss you already. Talk soon, okay?”
We finally pried ourselves apart and I picked up my bag. “See you soon, sweet girl,” he said.
I stole one last glance at him, committing to memory even the smallest details: how his dark hair leaned toward auburn in the early morning sun, the crinkle next to his eyes when he smiled, the bob of his Adam’s apple when he swallowed hard as he studied me just as closely.
I waved, and then Frannie and I started our short walk to the train station. Well, she walked. My feet hadn’t touched the ground since we walked off the stage the day before and I didn’t think I’d be coming down anytime soon.
I stayed quiet for a long time, resting my head on the train window, the wonderful events of the last twenty-four hours swirling around my mind. I couldn’t imagine anything topping the feeling I had after the hair show. But being with Joe came really close. The way he looked at me when we parted…well, that had been one of those moments you tell your grandchildren about one day. Never had a man stared into my eyes so intensely, and even though I had been in love with my ex-husband, I had never felt as profoundly drawn to him as I was to Joe.
“You two are something else.” Frannie interrupted my thoughts.
“Who?” I asked coyly.
“I thought I’d have to crowbar you apart. Are you telling me you didn’t bang last night?”
That was Frannie, cutting right to the point.
“I’m telling you, we didn’t bang! We didn’t even kiss.” I told her about our night, skipping over the shower masturbation portion of the evening.
She cackled. “You rubbed your food baby in front of him?”
I hung my head in shame. “I don’t know how to act around men! I’m basically a novice at all this.”
“Seemed to me he still liked you. There were sparks coming off you two. I almost needed a cold shower from just witnessing you together!” Frannie fanned herself with her hand and I giggled.
“When you were in the bathroom, he told me he needs to be close to me.” I clutched her arm. “Frannie, he said, ‘This is happening.’”
She tilted her head. “What is happening?”
I threw my hands up. “I’m not sure! Whatever it is, I’m crossing my fingers it’ll involve being naked together.”
Frannie laughed, rubbing her hand over my hair. “Oh, Rachel, I love you. I am positive that man wants to be naked with you. He wants to be aaallll up in your business. He wants to make sweet, sweet love to you!”
“Okay, okay, oh my god, Frannie!” I nudged her shoulder and gave her a dirty look before we both cracked up.
When I caught my breath, I asked, “Speaking of making sweet, sweet love, what’s the deal with Marco? I thought he was going to eat your face off in the lobby.”
Frannie’s eyes rolled back in her head and she exhaled loudly. “That tiny man is hot, Rachel. His dick resembled a Coke bottle, and he knew how to use it. And his tongue, oh my god. I had at least eight orgasms last night. I lost count after that. The most mind-blowing part? Even after going down on me for hours, his little handlebar mustache stayed absolutely perfect. Let’s just say I understand why he has the confidence of a man twice his size.”
“Well, damn, he sounds like your dream come true. When are you going to see him again?”
“Doubt I will. I look at last night like a capsule episode of my life. It was a standalone event, to look back on fondly when I’m old and gray.”
“Do you think it’ll be awkward if we do more hair shows with Marco?” I had never heard Frannie describe a sexcapade the way she just did, so I was surprised she didn’t want a repeat.
“Nah, we were on the same page. Marco is basically the male version of me, so we got each other.” I nodded, and we both settled back in our seats. Frannie put on her headphones and closed her eyes, and I spent the rest of the train ride scrolling through old text messages from Joe, sighing and smiling to myself.
Eighteen
Him: Hey, sweet girl, did you get home safe?
Him: Rach, are you home?
When I got back to my apartment, I threw my bag on the floor of my bedroom, changed into pajamas, and flopped down on my bed, completely exhausted. Glancing at my phone, I noticed I’d missed two texts from Joe.
Me: Sorry! Just got home!
Him: Really? Did something happen with the train?
Me: Wellllllll…I actually went to work when I got back.
Him: Wow, you are committed!
Me: I had to shuffle so many clients around to do the hair show, I was playing catch-up!
Him: Tired?
Me: Exhausted to my bones. I can’t believe you’re moving here in two weeks!
Him: It already feels like it’s been too long since I saw your face.
Me: Want a sleepy selfie?
Him: Do you have to ask?
Holding the phone above me, I snapped a picture of myself lying in bed, a small smile curving up the corners of my mouth.
Him: You’re killing me. Are you wearing an actual nightgown?
Me: LOL, yeah, I am. Ridiculous, huh?
Him: Ridiculous is not the word I would use to describe what you look like right now.
Me: Okay, I’ve got toothpicks holding my eyelids up, so I better hit the hay.
Him: Talk soon, sweet
girl.
Me: Goodnight, Joe. XOXO.
Him: My mom keeps sending me Pinterest links for the house.
Me: Oh yeah? Any good ideas?
Him: If I lived in a hunting lodge.
Me: I don’t even know what that means!
Him: Lots of plaid, dark walls, pictures of dogs playing poker…
Me: OMG, that sounds so you!
Him: Ha ha. My mom said it was very manly, just like me.
Me: I’m sure your mom is a lovely woman, but I’m not so sure about her ideas of masculinity and decorating. :)
Him: She’s a character. How’s your mom?
My mom and I had always had a unique relationship. It had always been the two of us against the world. She never liked David, though, and she didn’t hide her disappointment when I married him. She called him an uptight suit and said I’d settled. After the wedding, she put both physical and emotional distance between us when she moved to Oregon. I was happy for her because she’d finally found her hippie paradise and we had become closer again in the last couple years. I had a feeling she would wholeheartedly approve of Joe. She’d probably dance around him with her tambourine while he sang and played guitar. The thought made me grin.
Me: She’s excellent. Lately she’s been at a protest or march every other day, it seems.
Him: I don’t blame her. That’s great that she’s so politically active.
Me: She always has been, but more so these days. She’s also into yoga and volunteers all over town. My mom is even busier than I am!
Him: Hard to believe.
Him: This is my last week of school, BTW.
Me: I wondered about that. Are you sad to go?
Him: I am. I told the kids I’m not coming back in the fall.
Me: How’d they take it?
Him: They wanted to make sure the new band director knows what he’s doing and that he’ll choose “cool” music for them to play like I did.
Me: Aw, they’re going to miss you!
Him: The feeling is mutual.
Me: Hey guy, what’s up?
Him: Hi, sweet girl, can’t believe you texted first.
Me: I text first sometimes! You just don’t usually give me a chance.
I loved that he texted first. I had started a game to see how long I could go without checking my phone. I’d try to walk home from work slowly, change into comfy clothes, and make dinner before I looked at his texts. Though, I usually only made it out the door of the salon before I whipped out my phone.
Him: True. What did you do today?
Me: I worked in the afternoon (I know, I know, so predictable). Here’s a picture of what I did this morning.
Him: Is that Maya? Where were you two? The waterfall is beautiful.
Me: Yup, she’s my new hiking buddy. We went on my favorite hike this morning. It was so peaceful. We sat at the top of the waterfall, just being quiet together.
Him: That sounds amazing.
Me: I’ll take you if you want.
Him: I’ll follow you wherever you want to take me, Rach. But yes, please, I definitely want to see your waterfall.
Me: It’s a date then. What are you up to?
Him: I spent most of the day sorting through boxes of teaching materials, trying to figure out what to keep. But schooooool’s out for the summer!
Me: Ha ha, yay!
Him: One more week until I’m down there.
Me: If you don’t think I’m X-ing off the days on my calendar, then you’re nuts!
Him: God I miss you, sweet girl.
Me: Me too, Joe, me too.
Him: You’re soooooooo pretty.
Me: Are you drunk texting me, buster?
Him: Just a wee bit.
Me: Having fun?
Him: I’d have more fun with you here. My friends have me on a “Goodbye, New York” bar crawl.
Me: Ooooh, let’s see a picture!
Him: I love that you’re cool with me being out with my friends.
Me: I hung out with my girls tonight too. Focus, and send me a pic!
Him: I’m going to attempt a group selfie.
Me: I think that’s called an “ussie.” Your arms are like built-in selfie sticks.
Him: The better to hug you with, my dear.
Me: True. You are an awesome giver of hugs.
Him: Here’s my attempt at a picture.
Smiling, I studied the picture. Joe stood closest to the camera, his eyes heavy lidded. Around him were two people who looked like they were a couple, two thirty-something guys and a pretty dark-haired woman.
Me: Cute! You have drunk eyes. Who’s in the picture?
Him: My friend Jonah and his wife, Samantha, co-workers Darren and Steve, and Celia.
Me: Celia, huh?
Him: Yup.
Him: ...
Me: Okay, well, have fun. Goodnight!
Him: Don’t make it weird. It doesn’t have to be weird.
Me: Talk to me when you’re sober. Goodnight.
I was surprised his ex-girlfriend was out with the group, but I hadn’t been trying to make an issue of it and my hackles were raised at his abruptness. I tried not to worry about it too much, though. Things were always clearer in the light of day.
Video Chat Request from Joe Silver
Accept
“Hey, Joe, I’m surprised you’re up this early.” I accepted his chat request even though I was annoyed with how our conversation ended the night before.
If I hadn’t been so distracted by how shitty he looked, I would have taken the time to admire his bare chest.
“I wanted to catch you before you went to work. I’m sorry.” He tugged at his hair, a worried look on his face.
“What are you sorry for?” I asked, though of course I knew. He had been weirdly defensive and abrupt when I questioned his ex-girlfriend being out with him.
“I made it weird, didn’t I?”
“You did. What’s up with that?”
Joe exhaled slowly. “I don’t know. I guess a combination of being drunk, being defensive, kinda pissed Celia invited herself along, and really missing you.”
“Why’d Celia invite herself along?”
“Who knows. She said she missed me. But the night was so fucking awkward with her there. She left a little while after I sent you the picture.”
I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. Joe isn’t David.
He’d shown me that even though he’d screwed up, he was more than willing to own up to it and apologize. I never experienced that in my marriage and I realized I really valued that trait. I opened my eyes and gave him a small smile.
“Maybe no more drunk texting?”
He nodded sharply, then grabbed his forehead and groaned. “I think that’s a good plan. Right now, I feel like I might die, so I can’t picture willingly drinking again.”
I snorted. “Good. You deserve a little pain for being annoying last night.”
“Are you wearing one of your nightgowns?”
Before he called, I’d been sitting on my balcony in a knee-length white cotton nightie, having my morning coffee. It was loose, and in no way sexy, so I thought it kind of hysterical that Joe found it so fascinating, especially since David had hated them. He said it looked like I had on his grandma’s pajamas.
“I am. I wear them all summer.”
“I’m a fan, just so you know.”
I giggled. “I think you’ve made that clear.”
His eyes roamed over my face through the screen. “Are we okay, sweet girl?”
“Yep, we’re good,” I said softly. “Did you have fun last night?”
He yanked at his hair again and nodded. “I did. I’ve made some really good friends here. I’m already trying to convince Jonah and Samantha to move to Tiber City. They have a baby and I know it’s a really good area to raise a family. I told them I’ll always have a room for them when they want to come down to visit. So hopefully we can stay in touch and still see each other.”
“Luckily you
’re not moving across the country,” I said. “And you know, some people are able to communicate and become close on these things called phones. You can even video chat with people these days, gasp!”
He licked his top lip. “Are we close, Rachel?”
Feeling bold, I said, “I’d like to think we’re getting there. But we’re not nearly close enough.”
“You have no idea how much closer I want to be to you.”
“Oh, I think I have an idea.” I wiggled my eyebrows playfully.
“If I wasn’t sitting on my friend’s couch, a wall away from his baby, the things I would tell you about how close I’m going to get to you when I see you...”
“And then I would tell you about how sometimes I think about being close to you late at night when I’m in bed.”
He groaned. “Rachel…”
“Five more days,” I reminded him.
“Not soon enough.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m going to try to catch some more Z’s before the baby is up. Talk soon, sweet girl.”
I kissed my hand and pressed it to the camera. Joe grabbed his chest and grinned.
“Bye, Joe.”
Him: Three days.
Me: I know, I know! Are you saying goodbye to the city?
Him: Yeah, I’ve been walking everywhere, taking pictures, eating bagels and pizza.
Me: LOL, we have bagels and pizza here!
Him: Rachel.
Me: Okay, okay. I admit Maryland bagels and pizza are not as good as New York bagels and pizza.
Him: When I get down there, let’s make it our mission to find second best.
Me: I like a mission that involves taste testing pizzas and bagels.
Him: I like any mission that involves you.
Me: Joe.
Him: :) How are you?
Me: I’m okay. I have to go to the dentist tomorrow though; I’ve been ignoring a toothache. UGH!
Him: Oh no, I’m sorry you’re in pain. Hope it’s an easy fix.
Me: Me too. I hate the dentist!
Him: I kind of love it. Well, cleanings. Fillings are never fun. You’ll be okay though.
Me: I know. I’m just being a baby.
Him: I wanted to ask a house question. Should I keep the front porch white?