by F. C. Clark
‘I feel bad sending you on a wild-goose chase so I could go to Sandbanks.’
‘Pain in the arse, that’s what you are.’ He takes my hands.
‘Is he OK? I mean…’ I look down. Although Luke is strong, strength only carries you so far.
‘He’ll be OK now you’re safe. Anyway, I’m worried about you, not Luke. He can take care of himself.’
The door opens and Luke joins us with a tray of food that smells amazing.
‘I’m starving.’
He pushes the table towards me. Scrambled egg, bacon, orange juice and tea. I immediately begin to eat.
‘Max, did Luke tell you Ivor’s here? Actually, where is he?’
‘He was here all night, but you won’t see him now until he visits London.’
‘Oh, but I thought… Why didn’t he wake me?’
‘He didn’t want to disturb you.’
‘But he promised not to disappear again.’
‘You and I know he can’t be part of your life while he has enemies that are willing to use you as bait. Kate, let him deal with things,’ Luke says.
I lay my knife and fork down. Although I haven’t eaten much, I’m full. ‘When can we go home? I assume you have a plan?’
‘Yes. Your story is that you arrived two days ago and you were in a car accident,’ he says, reading my medical records. I sense he is holding back.
‘Paperwork? I mean my passport.’
‘Sullivan has sorted it,’ he says.
‘Oh, what about at home? I mean, do I tell people I was in Russia?’
‘No. Sandbanks. Another car accident.’
‘Christ, Luke, you must have serious issues with my driving skills.’
‘Add them to the list, Mrs Sutton.’
For the remainder of the day I rest, then I convince Luke to shower me. I believe I begged him to wash me, so he lightly sponged my entire body. Lying on my bed wearing fresh clothes from home is perfect. I am aware the water has had no effect on my appearance, but at least some of yesterday has disappeared. Max drops in to see me every so often, and James said his goodbyes before returning to Zurich.
Later, I watch Luke speak to the doctor outside my room. They shake hands and grin. I think a negotiation has just taken place for our journey home. The doctor enters the room, Luke close behind.
‘Mrs Sutton, you look brighter today,’ the doctor says.
I nod. ‘I feel better, thank you.’
‘Good. I have completed your paperwork and have agreed that you may leave, but you must visit your doctor at home.’
‘OK.’ I can’t believe I’m going home.
‘Very well. I will say goodbye.’
‘Thank you.’
The doctor leaves the room and Max follows him.
Luke perches on the bed and takes my hand, running his fingers over my wedding ring. ‘We need to talk about your health.’
‘Why? Am I ill?’
‘No, but I haven’t told you everything.’
I nod, feeling a little uneasy.
‘When women are admitted to hospital, the doctors have to perform certain tests before starting treatment. One of those tests is a…’ He hesitates. ‘A pregnancy test.’
What?
‘Kate, you’re pregnant.’
4
‘What did you say?’ I snap.
‘Baby, you’re pregnant.’
A single word rotates in my head – pregnant! ‘There must be a mistake.’
‘There isn’t.’
‘Maybe the tests are different here – less accurate? They must have me mixed up with someone else. Ask yourself, Luke, do you trust the doctors here?’
He begins to laugh.
‘Do you think this is funny?’ I say.
‘As usual, you make me laugh.’
‘Have you seen the test? I mean, did they show you the results?’
‘Kate, the facts are clear, you’re pregnant.’
‘OK. Why are you so calm? We’ve not even been married for a bloody week, and now this… Jesus, Luke, I can just about take care of myself, let alone you and now a baby.’
‘Admittedly, I was shocked when the doctor told me, but I’ve had time to adjust.’
‘When did they tell you? And shouldn’t they have told me first?’
‘They told me yesterday. You were taken straight to surgery. I assume they told me as I’m your next of kin, and—’
‘Yesterday! Why didn’t you tell me then?’
‘For obvious reasons, and for the record I’m not disappointed.’
Crap. I am. Get a grip, Harper. No, I’m not ready for motherhood, but it’s here now. Part of Luke is growing inside me.
‘Give yourself time,’ Luke says.
‘What – about nine months?’
He smiles. ‘If that’s what you need.’
I need to not be pregnant!
‘OK. Let me process this. Indulge me?’
He smiles. ‘Go for it.’
‘I’m pregnant and you’re happy with the news… So how did this happen?’
Luke’s brow knit.
‘Yes, I know how, but when? Shit, did I miss my pill? I must have. Luke, I can’t think straight. How many weeks pregnant am I?’
‘First, I am happy with the news. My beautiful wife, who I adore, is carrying our child. Our birth control failed – or we were careless. Anyway, you’re pregnant, but in the very early stages – possibly six weeks. Kate, your body has been through a great deal, and…’ His words trail off.
My hands cradle my stomach. ‘What are you saying? That I could lose the baby?’
‘They can’t answer that. You lost a lot of blood, and you were dehydrated. Shocked.’
‘What? You’ve given me this amazing news and then told me it could all go wrong? That bastard murdered my mum and now he could do the same to our baby!’
‘Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We have to stay positive, OK?’
‘Yes, but most expectant mothers have not had twenty-four hours of hell.’
‘True, but you’re strong, and if our child is anything like its mother, it will be fine.’
‘Oh my God, Luke, can we do this?’
He takes my hands.
‘I don’t think I can take much more’ I say.
‘That’s the reason I didn’t tell you. Even now I don’t think you’re ready to hear the news.’ He leans forward and kisses my stomach. God, my heart melts; he’s ready to be a parent, noticeably more than I am. My eyes fill with tears.
‘We can do this, Kate.’
I nod.
‘Have you told anyone?’
‘Max and James know, and Ivor was there when the doctor told me.’
‘Oh, so everyone knew before I did. Last on the list, there’s a surprise.’
He frowns. ‘The people who know are here to protect you, and our child.’
‘Holy shit, Luke, you’re going to be a dad… A dad! Are you sure this is what you want? I would never have an abortion.’
‘Agreed – no abortion.’ He gets off the bed and sits back in his chair. ‘I don’t lie – you of all people should know that. I am happy with the news. Would I like to have spent more time with you alone? Yes, but I also didn’t want to wait too much longer to start a family.’
‘Thirty-two is bloody old. I’m married to a geriatric,’ I say and laugh.
‘I’ll take it as a good sign that your sense of humour has returned. I can’t wait to get you home. After this little expedition you will be tied to our bed – for your safety and my pleasure.’
‘As long as you can get it up, my eighty-year-old kinky codger.’ I laugh, then wince.
‘Now I have two reasons to lock you up… Maybe three. My wife, my child and my need to have you when
you’re well.’
His words are music to my ears.
It’s early evening. After a short car journey, we arrive at a nearby private airstrip. Luke’s jet is waiting. As soon as I step out of the car, the chilly wind brushes against my face. I don’t remember it being this cold while we were playing hide and seek, but the last forty-eight hours are sketchy.
‘Take one step at a time. I wish I could carry you, but…’
‘I’m OK.’ Within a few minutes, using Luke for support, I reach the steps to the jet.
‘That’s it, nice and slow,’ Max says at the entrance of the plane. ‘Take my hand.’
Two more steps and I’m there.
‘Let’s get you home.’
Home. I want to cry. Max takes my coat and helps me take my usual seat. When I’m safely seated, Luke fastens my belt and tucks a blanket around me.
‘OK.’ He takes his seat next to me.
‘Mr Sutton.’ We look up to see the smiley stewardess. ‘Would you or Mrs Sutton like anything? Perhaps a drink?’
He looks at me. ‘Kate – tea?’
‘Please.’
The stewardess desperately tries to refrain from staring, but how could she not notice my face?
‘Are you comfortable?’
‘Luke, I’m fine. Honestly, if I wasn’t I would tell you… You have to trust me.’
He arches a brow.
‘OK, I deserved that, but things are different now, with a baby growing inside me.’
His lips meet mine, and I feel my body awaken for the first time – another small sign that I’m slowly returning to normal.
While the plane shoots down the runway Luke takes my hand. I watch Russia disappear with mixed emotions – love and hate.
‘I feel awful leaving Alexis. I didn’t even say goodbye.’
Luke looks straight ahead. ‘I told you, she was asleep.’
‘I know, but she’s alone.’ A feeling of tremendous guilt washes over me. ‘We’ve abandoned her.’
‘I understand.’
I wait for him to look at me. ‘Luke.’
He turns to me.
‘She played no part in what Philip did. I know what she did to Ollie was wrong, but she saved my life, and now I’ve left her in a strange country. Even you must feel guilty.’
‘Honestly? No. I’m grateful she helped you, but she has no impact on my life, Kate.’
‘That’s a bit harsh! If it wasn’t for her, Philip would have raped me. Christ, he was choking me when she hit him with the chair.’
I glance at Luke’s clenched fist.
‘I will always remain indebted to her, but never throw this at me to win an argument.’
‘Luke, that’s not why I said it…’ I take a deep breath and look down. Maybe I did. Crap, I know I did!
He turns my face to his. ‘You need time to get over this,’ he says, and seals his mouth over mine. Slowly his tongue slips inside my mouth. His warm and tender strokes are just enough for my body to surrender to him before he releases me. Battered body or not, it would seem that I will always yearn for him.
‘As for Alexis, I have arranged for a nurse to come here from the UK.’ He looks at his watch. ‘She should have arrived, and she will stay with Alexis until she is strong enough to fend for herself, not just in the hospital, but when she returns home to London. ’
‘Oh – you never said.’
‘You didn’t give me the chance.’
‘I’m just worried.’
‘She’s making progress. It won’t be long before she’s home.’
‘I’m going to help her when she’s back in London. She’ll need lots of support.’
Luke nods, but he looks beat so I drop the subject.
‘Oh crap.’ A realisation hits me. ‘Our honeymoon – it’s in a few days… I can’t go looking like this.’
‘I’ve already postponed it. The only place you’ll be is in bed.’
I giggle.
‘To sleep…’
Our private jokes will always make me smile.
By the time we arrive at City Airport, it’s late evening. I feel a sense of peace as Max drives us through the streets of London, my head resting on Luke’s shoulder. The sight of the black front door of our South Kensington home sends my emotions into meltdown. The palace – the name I gave it when I first worked for Luke, due to its size – is where I feel happiest. I wipe my eyes before Luke sees; he’s exhausted himself.
‘Straight to bed, Kate.’
I turn to Luke.
‘It’s late and you need to rest.’
‘I’m not arguing, but I’m hungry.’
‘OK. Let’s get you settled then I’ll get you some food.’
Within ten minutes Luke has helped me change into his T-shirt – my choice of nightwear – and has tucked me into bed. Even though I’m hungry, my eyelids close the moment Luke leaves the room.
I wake feeling uncomfortable and hungry. I peer around our dark bedroom. I check the time on my phone, it’s three o’clock in the morning. Feeling clammy, thanks to Luke’s body radiating heat next to me, I roll onto my side. Taking a deep breath, I manage to sit upright. Pain shoots through my body. With my feet firmly on the floor, I grab the edge of the nightstand and pull myself up. Ten minutes later, I enter the kitchen – my kitchen, the room where Luke took over my heart and my entire existence.
The only light comes from the opened fridge, which I scan. Nothing looks appetising. Next stop is the larder, but suddenly I feel weak and overwhelmed. I sink to the floor, drawing my legs to my chest, crying uncontrollably.
‘Hey.’ Luke’s voice echoes from the doorway. He comes over, kneels and takes me in his arms. ‘Shh, it’s OK,’ he says and lifts me carefully into his lap.
‘I’m sorry,’ I mutter.
‘You have nothing to apologise for.’
I look up to his face. ‘I do… I might have killed our baby.’
His strong arms tighten their grip. ‘You haven’t, Kate.’
‘I’ll never forgive myself. I didn’t want a baby and now I do.’ I try to breathe between sobs and broken words. ‘I bring shit to your life… You were happy, then I arrived… You should divorce me.’
Luke lifts my face and wipes away my tears. ‘My beautiful wife, are you feeling sorry for yourself?’ He smiles tenderly.
‘I’m not beautiful. I look like crap…’
My head rests against his bare chest and I listen to his heartbeat.
‘Neither of us knows what will happen with the baby. I have arranged an appointment for a scan in a few days, so let’s wait until then.’
I nod against his chest.
‘But whatever happens, you have not killed our child – never think that.’
No matter what he says, I know how I will feel.
‘So, you’re hungry? The larder was a giveaway.’
‘I was, but not now.’
Luke helps me to my feet.
‘So what would you like to eat, other than me?’
I can’t help but smile. ‘You read my mind.’
He kisses my nose.
‘I don’t know. I can’t think straight.’
‘In that case, may I suggest a super-strong cup of tea and a biscuit? I know you’re trying to keep McVitie’s in business.’
‘Are you offering me world peace?’
‘Bet your arse I am.’
Next day, I wake with a pounding headache. Luke’s side of the bed is empty. It’s time to face the day.
My body feels a little stronger this morning – I manage the stairs easier than I did last night. I head for Luke’s voice, which I hear in the kitchen, and am met with a stunned silence from Rosie and Jerry. They are Luke’s housekeepers, they are part of our history and today is just another memory – what goes
on in the palace stays within the walls of the palace.
‘Oh my goodness.’ Rosie moves to me. ‘I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Luke said you were in a car accident, but…’ Shocked tears come to her eyes.
‘It’s OK – it’s mainly bruising.’
Jerry comes to my side and gently cuddles me.
‘What have you been up to, flower?’ His warm Northern Irish accent makes me cry – again. ‘There, there, you’re OK.’
For the record, I suspect neither of them buys the ‘car accident in Sandbanks’ story. They know about the adoption, and that Luke rescued me from Russia the first time, plus they were both caught up in the explosion, but they will also remain loyal and won’t question either of us about it.
I lift my head. ‘Sorry, Jerry – I wasn’t expecting that,’ I say through sniffs.
Luke makes his way towards me. ‘You should be in bed.’
‘I need to get back to normal.’ Instinctively, I lean against Luke.
‘Luke’s right, Kate, you should be resting. How about I make you both something to eat? I won’t take no for an answer.’ Rosie heads to the island and the cooker.
I look up at Luke. ‘Have you told them?’
He frowns.
‘About the baby?’
‘No… I thought we should wait.’
‘Either way, Rosie will be here for me. I won’t be able to hide it from them, plus Max knows anyway.’
‘Fair point.’
‘You tell them,’ I say.
‘We have some news,’ Luke says.
‘I found out yesterday,’ I pipe up.
‘It better be good news, Luke.’ Rosie continues to beat some eggs.
Luke pulls me closer. ‘Kate is pregnant.’
Rosie almost stops breathing. ‘I can’t believe it.’ She runs over to us. ‘A baby in this house… I think I’m going to cry.’ She hugs us both and gently touches my stomach. ‘I am so happy for you, my darling.’
‘It’s early days. I just hope everything is OK – because of the accident.’
‘You’ll be fine,’ Jerry says. ‘You’re one of the strongest people I know.’
‘I hope you’re right.’ I honestly can’t cope with more bad news.