by F. C. Clark
‘Go, we can talk at lunch,’ I say. We stand and she slowly comes round to join me, holding on to the edge of the table for support. ‘It still feels strange, right? Not hating each other.’
‘It does.’ She smiles, but I sense she could also cry.
I draw her close. Awkwardly, she holds me. I can feel her heart beating. We remain silent. I wonder how often she was hugged as a child. I pull away.
‘Sorry – I hope that wasn’t too much.’
‘This is all very new for me.’ Alexis smiles and takes my hand.
‘You’ll get used to it. Harry’s the same.’
‘I have a lot to learn.’ She leans against the table, visibly in discomfort.
‘This might be too soon? Not just physically.’
‘Probably, but I’m not leaving.’
‘I understand. OK, I’ll see you in a few hours. I’m going to see Molly.’
‘Harry told me your friend had a baby.’
‘Molly and Harry are really close. She is a sweetheart – you’ll love her. We’ll introduce you to her.’
After a few hours I wave goodbye to Molly, who is holding baby Grayson. As predicted, she has adjusted to motherhood well. She is incredibly practical – plus Grayson is adorable. I would gaze at him all day in amazement if he were mine.
Max begins the short journey to Marshalls – my lunch date.
‘Look at these.’ I show him photos of baby Grayson on my phone.
Reluctantly, Max looks. ‘Very nice.’
‘He’s so cute.’ I scan the pictures. ‘I can’t believe that will be me by the end of the year.’
‘That’s the plan.’
‘I am a worried about how we’ll cope. Luke and I have trouble dealing with each other, let alone bringing someone else into the world.’ I look at Max for some words of wisdom, but he is silent. ‘Has Luke said anything to you – I mean, about being a dad?’
‘No.’
‘Deep and meaningful conversations aren’t really either of your styles. Deep and silent is more like it.’
‘We don’t need to talk about everything in life – unlike you.’ He looks across at me. ‘And for the record, when Luke told me you were pregnant, he was happy. Believe it or not, he does want a family. I know it’s one of his goals.’
‘Luke’s goal is to have a family? Was that before or after he shagged all of Chelsea?’
‘Kate!’
‘It’s true. Declan told me what he was like before he met me. Actually, the day I met him, when I dropped off his shirts, I thought he was an arrogant arsehole who loved himself.’
‘I don’t understand women. Luke has a past – so what? Everyone does.’
I shrug petulantly, knowing full well Max has a valid point. Why do I keep bringing up the past and Luke’s long list of fuck buddies? Even now I question why he is with me. Maybe it’s the fear of losing him.
‘Luke idolises you. Christ, he’s put a ring on your finger, which I am still surprised at.’
‘Cheers, Max, am I not good enough for him?’
‘Here you go again. If you were to shut up and let me bloody finish…’
‘Knock yourself out,’ I say.
‘As I was saying, I was surprised. Before he met you, he never bothered with long-term relationships. He worked hard—’
‘And played hard,’ I mutter.
He shakes his head. ‘Back then he wasn’t ready for a wife, let alone kids. But he is now. He fell in love with you. As for having a family, I think he will make a great father.’
‘But he’s so controlling.’
‘He will give them the world – he does the same for you.’
‘I don’t need the world, just him. There’s a difference.’
‘That’s why he married you. Kate, you make the difference.’
Bloody hell, we’ve gone from looking at pictures of Grayson to discussing my marriage…
‘So, have you thought any more about the date?’
‘No. Drop it.’
I can see Marshalls up ahead. I have Max alone for about a minute.
‘I think you should just let me set you up – just once. Luke thinks it’s a good idea.’
The car comes to a stop.
‘Don’t bullshit me. Luke would never agree. I’m quite happy, thank you.’
‘We shall see!’
As soon as I enter Marshalls I spot Alexis in the far corner – alone. The restaurant is heaving. It’s trendy and super-expensive; Kiki and Henry brought me here for my birthday a couple of years ago.
‘Hi.’
‘How was your friend – Molly?’ Alexis asks.
I sit down. ‘She’s fine. Look.’ I whizz through the twenty or so pictures on my phone.
‘He is lovely.’ Alexis smiles but I sense babies are not her priority. Come to think of it, they weren’t for me until last week.
‘Do you want kids?’ I pour some sparkling water into my glass.
She shakes her head. ‘Honestly, I’ve never given it much thought.’
‘Me neither, but now I have to.’
Alexis chuckles. ‘I think it’s a bit late for that. I can’t believe you’re having twins.’
‘Tell me about it.’ I raise my tall glass of sparkling water. ‘Here’s to us.’
‘Well, well, well.’ We turn around. There’s Charles Morley, a good friend of Alexis. ‘Afternoon, ladies. Kate, Alexis told me about your car accident. Are you well?’
‘I’m fine, thank you.’
‘Good to hear. Apparently you have decided to bury the hatchet.’
‘Life’s too short.’
He takes the seat next to me and gently squeezes my hand.
‘How very admirable of you, Kate. I know how testing the superbitch can be.’ He winks.
I hold my finger up. ‘Let me stop you there. We don’t use that name any more.’
‘I’m not sure about this.’ He leans back in his chair. ‘No, I much prefer the catty rivalry.’
‘Would you like us to have a girl-on-girl fight just for your entertainment?’ I offer.
‘I would pay good money to see that.’
‘Charles, you’re supposed to be my best friend,’ Alexis snaps.
‘Of course, sweetie, but Kate did offer.’
‘Dream on, Charles, dream on.’
‘I shall. Kate, how did your investigation work out?’
Investigation. Oh crap! The investigation went well: your best friend’s father killed my mother.
‘I haven’t really looked into it. I’ve been really busy with work. Harper Jones has a charity fashion show in a few weeks for Mrs Gold in New York.’ I hope I’ve diverted him.
‘How exciting,’ he says.
‘I’m sure you know Mrs Gold?’
‘Yes, I know her quite well, and I will get a ticket.’ He looks at Alexis. ‘Shall we make a weekend of it? I think it will do you good to get away.’
‘I’ll think about it. Come round for dinner tomorrow. Bring wine,’ Alexis says.
‘Absolutely, we can have a sleepover. On that note, I must dash. So long, ladies.’
‘I haven’t told him you’re pregnant.’
‘It’s fine. Next time you see him you can drop it into conversation; he loves a bit of gossip. What about Philip’s story – the hunting trip to Russia?’
‘I haven’t said a word. I’ve only told him the story that everyone knows, but he smells a rat. Plus I told him that I had my appendix removed. I needed a reason to be bedbound.’
‘And he believed it?’
‘I’m not sure, but he has seen how poorly I have been, and he agreed I was too fragile to face the world. I know he is brash and—’
‘I like him. I always have. It’s weird, but I trust him,’ I say.
&nb
sp; She nods and takes a sip of water. ‘The truth is, I am dreading his reaction when I tell him what my father did. I don’t want pity. I just want to bury the past and move on.’
‘Of course, but you might need someone too. Just make sure he keeps what you tell him to himself, and maybe keep Katenka out of the conversation. After all, Joseph Morley was involved in what happened to my mother. I’m not sure what part he played, but this isn’t Charles’s problem.’
Five minutes later, Harry arrives at the table. I sit with my new – and old – family. It doesn’t take long for us to feel comfortable. Soon general chit-chat is flying around.
‘Kate, I wanted to ask how you would feel if I bought out the remainder of the Bagrov and Cooper shares.’
‘What, from the other shareholders? Can you do that? Have you asked them?’ I have only met all the shareholders once, in New York.
‘Yes, most of them. I have already made them an offer way above the asking price.’
‘Oh!’
‘I don’t want to buy your shares, that’s not what I’m asking, but I do remember you telling me that you asked Luke to take them over. Are you going ahead with that plan?’
I sit back in my chair. ‘No.’
‘Good, as I have a plan that involves all three of us. As I said, I have already offered the shareholders a very good price, and they have agreed to sell – they would be mad not to. Philip’s estate will all come to me, therefore I may as well use it.’ She looks at Harry. ‘I want to give you some shares.’
‘I don’t want your shares or anything to do with… Look, I don’t want to offend you, but I really don’t want them.’
‘I understand, but I thought all three of us could run the business – girl power, you know?’ Alexis sips some water before she continues. ‘I know you have a fantastic job. Maybe you could bring some of that to the table.’
‘Insurance and art… Not really an interest of Bagrov and Cooper,’ Harry says.
‘It could be. Kate has a good eye for interiors. We could work together. My aim is to grow our hotel chain and buy additional companies. We could branch into art – we can do whatever we want. Besides, we won’t have a man telling us how to work.’
‘I like it. Harry, this could be fun. We could work together – give the men a run for their money. Let me throw my shares into the pot. Let’s go for an equal partnership – a three-way split,’ I say.
‘Girls, please. Shares and taking over the world, how the bloody hell did we end up here?’ Harry is right – how the hell did we end up here?
Alexis leans on the table. ‘Think about it, Harry, please. Not for my father, but for me. Please give me a chance.’ For the first time, Alexis looks settled. ‘I have no family except you. I just wanted to share it with you.’
Harry takes Alexis’s hand. ‘You don’t need to buy our friendship. We don’t work that way.’
‘Harry, please, I didn’t mean to offend you,’ Alexis says.
‘I need some time to think about things. This is huge, actually it’s bloody massive. I can’t deny it sounds exciting.’
‘There’s no rush to give me an answer.’
‘I didn’t want to bring it up, but have you visited the cemetery yet?’ I ask suddenly.
All three of us have reasons to despise him, but he was Alexis’s father and she lived with him. She will need to put his death to rest.
Her eyes close. ‘No… I haven’t been able to face it.’
‘You don’t have to do it alone. We’ll come with you when you’re ready.’ I look across at Harry for backup.
‘Of course,’ Harry says.
‘What about now? I mean, after we have eaten,’ Alexis says. ‘Sorry, my timing isn’t great. Forget I asked.’
Now? Crap! Am I ready?
‘There’s no time like the present. I’ll call my boss and tell her there’s a family emergency,’ Harry says.
‘Well, that’s sorted. Max is outside. He can take us,’ I say.
I stand at the kerb with Max and watch the girls slide in the back of my black Bentley.
‘Are you sure about this?’ Max always queries any destination that has not been cleared by Luke.
‘Yes. Alexis needs to say goodbye, and I think it will do Harry good.’
‘And you? I’m not sure Luke will want you to go.’
‘Fine, I’ll call him,’ I snap at Max.
I search for ‘Boss’ on my phone.
‘Kate.’ Luke’s raspy voice sends a shiver through my body.
‘Hi.’
‘Are you OK?’
‘Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve agreed to take Alexis and Harry to see Philip’s grave.’
There is silence.
‘Luke.’ I look at Max, who pre-empted Luke’s reaction.
‘Let me speak to Max,’ he says.
‘Fine.’ I pass the phone over. ‘Mr Control Freak wants to speak to you – maybe you should tell him to buy me a leash.’
Max takes the phone. ‘Yes.’ He listens, then after a couple of seconds he hands me the phone. ‘He wants to speak to you.’
‘Hello.’
‘I’m happy for you to visit the grave, but please be safe – all three of you. Max is with you not only because I pay him but he also cares about you. You mention restraints, be careful what you wish for Mrs Sutton.’
‘Funny – ha bloody ha.’
‘I love you and I can’t wait to see you later, as I have a strong need to take you.’ Music to my ears.
‘Love you too, and don’t disappoint me later.’
I end the call, leaving him with a challenge that will grow all afternoon – literally!
Max begins the journey to the other side of London and the private cemetery where Philip has been laid to rest. I think hell is the most suitable resting place for him.
The girls chat in the back of the car but Max and I are quiet. Am I ready for this? Although he’s dead and buried, it doesn’t make it any easier.
Within half an hour we have arrived, and Max waits by the car as we make our way to plot two hundred and three. We can see the fresh soil and wreaths surrounding the grave, and we all slow down, as though he is here in person. Finally, we stand at the foot of the grave.
‘Fuck! This is madness,’ I say. Harry glares at me. ‘What? I don’t know what to say. He tried to kill me.’
‘It’s OK. Kate can say what she wants, and he did try to…’ Alexis’s words trail off. ‘Harry, is there anything you want to say?’
‘Er, no.’
‘What about you?’ I ask, but Alexis’s eyes remain fixed on the ground. ‘Do you want to say anything?’
‘No…’ She inhales deeply.
The silence between us lingers. Perhaps we do have questions, but we are hesitant about voicing them. I remember the moment I kicked him – not only for Katenka, but also for Alexis and me.
‘Why?’ Alexis blurts out. Startled, I look at her.
She falls to the ground and begins to dig at the earth. ‘Why?’
Dirt flies up as she rakes the soil with her fingers, trying to unearth the man who ruined her life.
‘Jesus, Alexis.’ Harry and I join her on the ground.
‘Alexis, stop,’ Harry pleads.
‘Why? Tell me why!’ She continues to claw her way through the soil. ‘Tell me, Daddy, why did you hurt me? Tell me!’
Her voice is a howl of pain, and tears layer her face, which is covered in mud.
‘Alexis, please.’ Harry tries to pull her. It’s no use. She seems to have found some inner strength, and she continues to dig.
‘Harry, take her arm.’ I try to take hold of her other arm.
She almost knocks me flying.
‘Kate, step back! She might hurt you,’ Harry hollers.
I stand up. ‘Max!’ I shout.
He runs over towards us from the car. ‘What the hell?’
‘We can’t get her to stop,’ I say.
He kneels down and touches her arm. She lashes out with heavy punches.
‘Get off me… Don’t touch me!’ she screams.
‘Alexis, it’s us… Shhh, it’s us… Look at me,’ I plead.
She huddles in a ball, her head buried in her knees. ‘Please don’t touch me.’
Max scoops her up in his arms, rocking her trembling body like a child.
‘Alexis, look at me.’
At last she glances up.
‘It’s us, Harry and Kate. You’re safe.’
She nods, but remains curled into Max.
‘Look at the bloody state of her. Shit, this has gone royally tits up.’ I try to brush the mud off, but I am covered.
Harry joins me. ‘She can’t go home on her own. Let’s take her to mine. Raymond won’t mind.’
‘OK. I think she needs to see a doctor.’ I watch her as she hums a soft tune and tears trickle down her cheeks. I have never seen anyone so helpless.
‘I’ll message Luke,’ Max says.
By the time we arrive at Harry and Raymond’s studio apartment, it’s late afternoon. The entire journey was made in silence. Max opens the doors. Alexis gets out without his aid but leans on Harry for support.
‘Raymond is working late, so it’ll be just us… Shower?’ Harry looks at Alexis. ‘Right, shower it is. Follow me.’ Harry takes her through the open-plan living area and into the main bathroom. Within a few minutes she closes the door and joins us.
‘What a bloody nightmare.’
I shake my head in disbelief.
‘Luke messaged. Dr Jacob will be here in an hour,’ Max says.
‘What then?’ Harry asks.
‘I don’t know. But she can’t be left alone,’ I say.
‘I agree.’ Harry reaches across and strokes my arm. ‘Are you OK? You look really pale.’
‘I feel sick.’
‘Kate, I told Luke that I’ll take you home. I think you need to rest.’
I glare at Max. ‘I need to stay here. It’s not fair leaving Harry to deal with this mess.’
‘Kate, Max is right – go home, you look exhausted. It’s still early days for you. Alexis can stay here until she’s back on her feet.’