Her father, Kiyoshi Miyahara, was diagnosed with leukemia when Kanae was still in elementary school. He returned to his native Japan for treatment when Kanae was fourteen years old. At that point Kanae took over the care of her younger brother and also ran her father’s business while he underwent chemotherapy.
Sadly her father died from the cancer in Japan, which led to Kanae and her siblings eventually moving to the United States, where they joined her mother and other relatives in the Dallas area. Her mother and older sister joined a Christian church there. Kanae began attending and gave her life to Jesus.
As Kanae eloquently shared her story, Dushka and I were impressed. Her delicate beauty and sweet nature belied a quiet strength. Her devotion to her younger brother and plans to become a nurse showed us that she also had a nurturing spirit and a giving heart. When we questioned Kanae about her faith, she was honest in saying that she’d rarely gone to her mother’s Catholic church as a girl because she worked in her father’s business, and religion was not a focal point for the family.
She had struggled with faith as a teen in Mexico. It was only when she came to the United States and joined her sister’s Christian youth group that Kanae found the path that gave her comfort and peace. She said her newfound faith had brought her to Nick because they’d met when he was giving a talk to a small group of Christian friends. Their relationship was forged upon their shared spiritual beliefs.
As compelling as all this information was, Dushka and I asked Kanae many probing questions. She handled them well and made a strong case. Kanae said that upon meeting Nick she looked into his eyes and his heart rather than focusing on his lack of limbs. She explained that she’d been in the process of breaking off a relationship with a longtime boyfriend whose faith was not equally yoked to hers. In our son she saw a man who not only shared her beliefs but also traveled the world to share them with others.
Dushka, who has the practical, no-nonsense manner of a veteran nurse, continued to ask pointed questions. “Do you fully understand how Nick’s disabilities impact his daily life? Are you prepared to be with someone who relies on a wheelchair, who cannot give you a lot of help around the house, who needs assistance while eating and using the restroom?”
Kanae was straightforward in her responses. She surprised us by saying she had already assisted Nick in many ways, even lifting him up from the ground and helping him into a wheelchair. The surprising element of that was mostly the fact that Nick is a solid guy and heavier than he looks. We couldn’t imagine this wisp of a young woman hoisting him up into his wheelchair. It was hard enough for me to do that.
Perhaps the deciding point in our conversation with Kanae that day was her response to another tough question posed by Dushka. Doctors have never identified a medical, genetic, or environmental reason for Nick’s lack of limbs. Several had assured us the odds of him passing it on to his children were astronomical. Even so, Dushka and I needed to know if Kanae was prepared for that possibility, if she had the spiritual foundation to withstand such a major test of faith.
The question Dushka posed to Kanae was this: “What if you and Nick married and you had a child without limbs?” To her credit, Kanae did not flinch in her assured response: “I know there might be a slight possibility of that, but even if we had five kids born like Nick, I’d love them the same as I love him. If that should happen, I also feel I’d be more prepared than most people because Nick would be there to serve as a great example.”
Needless to say, Kanae won us over that day. If this was an interrogation, she convinced her interrogators to join her side. If we had any lingering doubts about her having a long-term relationship with Nick, they centered on their very different cultural backgrounds. Those questions were washed away a few months later when we joined Nick and Kanae at her family’s home in Dallas.
You might be tempted to think that Serbian Australians have little in common with Japanese Mexican Americans, but you would be wrong in that. Kanae’s family had embraced Nick as one of their own. We loved Kanae. And we all loved to laugh, sing, and have a good time. With all those bonds and our shared Christian faith, we figured there was no stopping Nick and Kanae from having a wonderful life together. And they’ve proved us right.
During the writing of this book, Nick and Kanae welcomed a second son, Dejan, into their family. He is a healthy and rambunctious boy, just like his older brother, Kiyoshi, who is named for Kanae’s father.
As I noted earlier, seeing our son now with his wife and two children has brought us full circle in our journey of faith. Nearly all the doubts and fears and worries that shook our faith in Nick’s early days have been swept away. We had questioned God’s love of Nick. We questioned whether any woman could love and marry him. We wondered if our son would ever have a family of his own.
I’ve heard it said we sometimes are so focused on asking for the miracles we want that we fail to recognize the miracles God gives us. In our case we wanted Nick healed so badly that we prayed and prayed—and still pray—for that miracle. Yet over the years we’ve realized that God has performed many other miracles. Our son’s amazing life has had many miraculous elements, from his role inspiring and leading others all around the world to God, to his marriage to Kanae and the births of their children. God has not healed Nick’s body, but He has certainly blessed him and all of us who love him in many ways.
Being parents will surely challenge Nick and Kanae, and it will likely stress their bonds of marriage, but Dushka and I have great confidence that our son and his wife will continue to live a life without limits as they follow God’s plan. Nick and Kanae may not be able to walk hand in hand or arm in arm, but they walk in faith together. Our experiences in raising Nick taught us that if you put your trust in God’s way, He will provide you with all the strength you need.
• There is no shame in questioning why a child is burdened with disabilities, illness, or injuries. If we had no questions, we would not need faith in our lives. You may never understand why your child is afflicted, but you can be assured that it is not a punishment for you or the child. Your best option is to walk by faith, one step at a time, in the hope that you and your child will find purpose and meaning in your journey, as we have with Nick’s.
• Acceptance of God’s wisdom and love is one step. The next step is to put your faith into action and provide your child with a strong foundation of unconditional love, an unwavering sense of self-worth, and the knowledge that God does not make mistakes. He loves all His children equally.
• We are all imperfect because we are born into an imperfect world. God knows of our failings, and He knows we can all be healed by putting Him above earthly things. Romans 8:29 tells us, “For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.”
• No one expects parents to be grateful that their child has disabilities. Yet most of those I’ve known say they have experienced far more blessings and gratitude than they had ever imagined possible. Welcome the blessings and gratitude and focus on giving your child the best possible life.
• Don’t dwell on the unknowns and your fears for your child’s future. Ask God to love and protect your child. Surrender to Him control of the life He created while you focus on those things within your power.
• Feel free to pray for miracles for your child. I certainly pray for my son to be given arms and legs so that he can run with his children and hold them and his wife in his arms. I want that desperately for him. Yet when I see Nick with his wife and children, basking in the love they share, I no longer question God’s plan for him. I marvel at it. I know it is for good and not for evil, and I thank Him for helping me become more compassionate and more understanding of what is truly important in this world.
This is my first book, and it has been a very emotional and enlightening experience. My son has written several books, and I have a new appreciation for all that goes into this process. I thank my wife,
Dushka, for helping refresh and replenish my memories of raising Nick, as well as Aaron and Michelle. As always, Dushka provides a foundation of love, support and strength. I also thank all of our children for their input and support in this project, as well as for their constant and unconditional love.
Nick loaned me his writing partner, Wes Smith, for this project, and I appreciate all his hard work, patience, and persistence. Thanks also to those who helped bring this dream into reality: my literary agents, Jan Miller Rich and Nena Madonia at Dupree Miller and Associates, along with our publishing team at WaterBrook Multnomah, a division of Penguin Random House, which includes Tina Constable, Alex Field, Johanna Inwood, Bruce Nygren, and Laura Wright.
Most of all, I thank God: the Father, the Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit for blessing my life with so much love and for teaching me that every child is perfectly made.
Lastly, but no less important, thank you to all the people who pray for me, my wife, and ministry, and to those who financially support us. A big thank-you as well for helping us attain the goals of Life Without Limbs.
Bless all of you who read this book. I pray that my words open your hearts and minds in a fresh and dynamic way, moving you to put your faith into action while inspiring others to do the same.
Nick trying out his baby prosthetic arms
An early outing with Dad at the beach
The Vujicic family in the early days
The Vujicic family in the early days
“I can do this.”
“I can do this.”
Always determined to live a life without limits
Always determined to live a life without limits
Always determined to live a life without limits
Always determined to live a life without limits
Always determined to live a life without limits
More sporting adventures
More sporting adventures
Our family today, left to right: Kanae, Kiyoshi, Nick, Boris, Dejan, Dushka, daughter Michelle, daughter-in-law Michelle, Aaron
Nick inspiring young people
Proud father and son
Nick’s platform stretches around the globe.
Raising the Perfectly Imperfect Child Page 19