by Bethany-Kris
Lost in the file, Penny didn’t hear the footsteps outside the music room until a throat cleared. Her head snapped up, eyes wide, as her gaze landed on the man standing in the doorway. For a brief second, panic welled in her throat in the form of a lump that kept her air stuck in her windpipe.
It took a second ...
And then another for her to calm. Breathe.
Luca Puzza raised a hand to wave; a silent hello before he said, “Hey, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
Roz’s brother, and Naz’s best friend, waited for her to reply. She didn’t. It was kind of hard when her heart raced so fast beneath her ribcage that it felt like the organ was about to explode. Except it wasn’t from fear, now.
She saw the man around every now and then. Of course, he came to visit his sister, and she was sure he worked with Naz, too. The guy was just ... there. The thing was, Penny didn’t know how to deal with Luca. He was always kind, gave her space, and never looked at her without a smile on his face.
A handsome smile, she’d noticed.
The same way she noticed that he had the most striking green-blue eyes, and a face carved by God. High, sharp cheekbones and a jawline to die for. The intensity in his expressions couldn’t be matched, she thought. He was tall, but not lanky. With hands that looked like he knew how to work.
He was also twenty-four.
Or twenty-five?
What did it matter?
He was too old for her.
And she didn’t understand why she noticed any of those things about him at all. It wasn’t like the guy indulged her in conversation because she certainly didn’t go out of her way to talk to him. She barely knew him at all.
She just ... liked the way he looked.
It was a stupid crush she couldn’t explain. One he didn’t know existed, and she was fine with that. It needed to stay that way.
“You okay?” Luca asked, his grin warm and beautiful.
Penny swallowed hard, thinking, no. She suddenly didn’t know how to talk when he was around and she hated that, too. “Fine—I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
Not at all.
3.
Luca
“FINE—I’m fine.”
“You sure?” Luca asked.
Because the girl didn’t look fine.
At all.
Her wide eyes looked like large, blue moons. Clear, like the color of freshly frozen ice, he thought. There was something haunted in her stare and while he couldn’t see any fear staring back at him, he figured she must be. The tint of pink in her pale skin and the straightness of her back spoke of her discomfort at the very sight of his interruption.
Luca hadn’t meant to be a shit.
The girl was like a kitten. Small-featured. Pretty. Skittish at the slightest provocation.
Vulnerable.
A beautiful, terrified kitten.
There was no denying the very sight of her could invoke all sorts of feelings from the people around her. From the way she used her long layers of white-blonde hair as a curtain to shut the world out to the dark clothing she drowned her figure in and kept hidden from view. She radiated an aura of distress constantly. He’d noticed it over the past few months that she’d been living with his friend and sister. Whenever he came over to visit Roz or Naz, it was hard to ignore the way Penny shrunk away from any visitors, not wanting to engage.
It was like a person couldn’t stop themselves from wanting to help her. In any way they possibly could, too.
Luca wasn’t an exception to the rule.
Especially not now when he was sure his surprise intrusion had upset her. Considering some of the things he knew about her past—regarding men, specifically—it wasn’t a shock. It also caused his stomach to twist with guilt. The last thing he wanted was for her to think that she was in danger around him.
On the scale of good to bad, Luca fell on the latter end of the spectrum ... on paper. Because of his raising, the family he was born into, and the last name attached to his legacy, he was who he was. Crime was crime, right? He also thought he wasn’t entirely bad—he did have a moral compass, to some regard. He wasn’t a fucking monster.
He should just leave the girl alone.
She still hadn’t even replied to his question.
Instead, he at least wanted to try to make her comfortable before he got out of her sight. Luca grinned, saying, “Really, I’m sorry for scaring you. I didn’t know anyone was home when Naz asked me to stop and grab something out of his office for him. I would have shouted at the front door to warn you had I known you were back here when I heard something this way.”
Penny kept staring.
Silent.
She swallowed hard enough for him to hear it, though.
Shit.
He had freaked her out.
Damn.
Now he felt worse.
Luca wasn’t even going to try to fix the situation when clearly, he wasn’t doing a very good job in the first place. Jerking a thumb over his shoulder, the squeak of his leather jacket loud in the resounding quietness of the music room, he said, “I think it might be better if I just go, yeah? I’ll see you later, Penny.”
That said, he turned to leave.
Later, he could give Naz a heads up and apologize for whatever episode Penny might have because he was a dumbass. If she did ... Naz said it happened sometimes. Usually because of school or therapy, but apparently anything could bring it on if the situation was stressful enough. Luca didn’t know what those episodes entailed, but he hated the idea that he might cause one just by being there.
“The music,” he heard blurted behind him, “it’s mine.”
Luca’s shoulders tensed, his steps hesitating. “What?”
Softer, Penny explained, “The piano. You heard my music. But it’s ... mine. My composition.”
Glancing over his shoulder, but not wanting to give the girl the impression he planned to stay when she was already uncomfortable, he said, “Oh.”
Like a fool.
Just oh.
Quickly, he added, “The song is beautiful.”
It had already stopped playing. Just shortly after he first interrupted whatever she was reading in the file on her lap, actually, but he didn’t notice until then in the midst of everything.
The red tint in Penny’s cheeks became deeper at his praise, and her gaze dropped down to the file in her lap. It caused a wave of her hair to drop in front of her face at the same time, but he was pretty sure he had seen the hint of a smile curving her full, soft pink lips before it was gone from sight.
Then, he heard her whispered, “Thanks.”
He almost didn’t.
It was so low.
She did lift her head again, but that time she wouldn’t meet his gaze. Instead, opting to stare at anything else but him. The blush was still very present on her cheeks, and the smile was long gone, but at least, she wasn’t hiding from him. Wasn’t that a step forward?
He thought so.
Penny shrugged. The oversized, black hoodie that swallowed her body right down to her knees barely moved at all from the action. Her blue stare drifted to him, and only briefly met his gaze, before darting away just as fast. He could hear every awkward syllable when she told him, “Sorry—you probably think I’m a freak.”
“Why would I think that?”
“Because I don’t know how to talk to a gu—you. Anyone, really.” Penny sighed, closing the folder in her lap before she added, “But my therapist keeps telling me that I should try to start conversations more even if I don’t want to. It’s the only way I’ll learn how to ... talk?”
Why did that sound like a question?
Luca didn’t get the chance to ask.
“But I don’t really know how to,” she said, reverting back to the same soft tone as before that was quieter than a mouse skirting across the floor. “Talk, or start a conversation, I mean.”
That made him smile.
He couldn’t say th
at he didn’t pity the girl—her situation before she came to live with his sister and best friend kind of made that hard. If anyone deserved pity and time to get their life straight, it was Penny.
“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Luca said, winking her way when Penny’s head snapped up, and those wide eyes nailed into him. “You’re doing great—all things considered. One step at a time. One breath after another. Even if that’s all you can do, you’re doing it. You know?”
Penny blinked, but otherwise, offered nothing in reply.
Luca figured she deserved to know ... “I’m not going to pretend to know your life or the shit you’re going through, but from what I do know ... hell, you get out of bed, Penny. You’re alive. Trying. You know that’s all Naz and Roz ask of you, right? Just that you try. They’re willing to do whatever you need so that you can keep trying.”
It took her a second.
Eventually, she murmured, “Yeah, I know.”
“And that song—I think it would be awesome if you played it in a minor key, or at least the last stanza.” Luca grinned, waving a hand when he added, “But I don’t know shit about music. Not like Roz or you, anyway.”
That made her laugh.
Really laugh.
A genuine sound that had her young face lighting up in such a way that it was impossible for Luca to tear his gaze away when she dared to toss her head back as the amusement radiated from her. She was too beautiful of a creature to be constantly sad, but he couldn’t help but wonder ... how long it had been since she laughed like she just did?
She should do that more often. He hoped that eventually, she might be able to find someone who made her laugh like he just had. Again and again. Everybody deserved someone to make them happy.
Luca would have said more, but the buzz of his phone stopped him. Pulling the device from the pocket of his dark-wash jeans, the same ones his father had bitched about the blown-out knees the last time Zeke saw him wearing them, he checked the messages.
One from Naz waited.
Did you grab the file from my office yet?
Right.
The entire reason he was here. He didn’t regret agreeing to help Naz out more than he already did while his friend needed it, but shit ... Luca didn’t stop running. If he didn’t have time for his college obligations before, he sure as hell didn’t have time for them now.
Raising his phone for Penny to see, Luca offered an apologetic expression when he said, “Sorry, I gotta grab something for Naz and head out before he comes looking for me. You good?”
Penny smiled.
It seemed real.
“Yeah, Luca. I’m good. Thanks.”
“No problem.”
And he meant it.
On his way out of the house with the file in hand, Luca heard the echo of the same song that greeted him when he entered the house. Only now, she played it in a minor key.
LUCA ARRIVED AT DIZZY’S to find Naz had situated himself at the bar where he could enjoy a glass of whiskey while he finished up a phone call. He only heard the tail end of the conversation as he approached and took the stool next to his friend.
“Can’t say we’re going to make it happen that soon, Zio,” Naz said into the phone, “but I’ll let Dad know and see if he wants to go with Chicago for that offer. You know how he is ... yeah, it’s all about that bottom dollar. Later.”
“Chicago, huh?” Luca asked when Naz ended the call and tossed the phone to the bar top. “Donatis are making deals with Chicago?”
“Occasionally. Depends on the—”
“Money.”
Naz grinned. “This business is all about money. Even when it’s family.”
Right.
Luca wouldn’t forget it.
Turning so his back faced the bar and he could observe the empty club, Luca rested his elbows on the edge. The folder he had grabbed for Naz hung from his fingertips, waiting to be passed over. A lot could be done to the club to spruce it up and make it a bit more ... seemly. Especially for a business that Naz used on a regular basis. Yet, his friend purchased the club over a year ago and had yet to make any effort to get the place up to the standard of his name.
“You ever gonna get this place Donati ready?” Luca asked, knowing Naz would understand what he meant well enough.
Naz scoffed under his breath. “Why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe a place you frequent regularly and own should actually look like you own it. Right now, it looks better fit for the dregs.”
“It’s fine for me.”
Luca shifted his gaze Naz’s way. “Is it?”
Naz only shrugged. “Despite how some people in our business like to present themselves to the rest of the world, I’m fine being exactly who I am. If that makes me stand out amongst the crowd, so be it. I’m not the standard, Luca. I am the exception. Exceptional.”
Luca grinned.
He couldn’t help it.
That was the same shit their fathers had been telling them for years in regards to the family business. They didn’t have to follow the rules—they were the fucking rules. If only Luca could apply that same philosophy to everything else in his life, shit would be grand.
Right?
“And knock that shit off,” Naz muttered, rolling his eyes Luca’s way. “You sound like your father when you mouth off like that, you know?”
Yeah.
Shit.
“Here.”
He slapped the folder in front of his friend, but Naz didn’t bother to reach for it when he muttered around the rim of his glass, “Thanks. Saved me the time of driving out of the city just to pick it up. You’d think I might have my shit together by now, but—”
“We’re all doing what we can.”
Naz chuckled and set the glass back to the bar. “Yeah, tell me about it. Between Roz being pregnant ... Dad piling on more shit for me with business, and everything else, I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. Supposed to be a genius here, but I can’t even remember a fucking file I put right on my desk, so I wouldn’t forget it this morning. Some shit, that.”
Luca couldn’t help but notice how Naz didn’t mention Penny amongst the stress in his life. That also reminded him that he should probably let his friend know about the run-in he had with the girl at the house.
“Penny was at the house, by the way,” Luca said.
Next to him, Naz nodded. “Skipped school again, probably.”
“Again?”
Naz didn’t seem concerned when he explained, “Sometimes, she makes it a whole day. Other times, she barely makes it through the front doors before she turns back around. I pay enough money to the school that they ... overlook small infractions.”
“Does Roz know—”
“She’s the one who told Penny not to push it. If shit isn’t good for her, then she doesn’t need to be stressing out over something like classes. She’s got enough going on. We give her the freedom she needs to work through it. What else can we do?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Naz sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “My shit seems small in comparison. I mean, her father was just sentenced, and the lawyers are pressuring everyone to finish the paperwork needed for the asshole’s estate and restitution payments. Imagine, Luca, the man who raped and sold you to others for them to do the same is basically handing you millions of dollars ... a way to apologize. Like that shit should fix what he did to her. I’m surprised when she does make the effort to get up and go to school, honestly.”
Luca swallowed the uncomfortable lump in his throat, thinking about Penny at the house all alone. Hell, should she even be alone? That was the real question. Was there too much freedom for the girl in her situation?
He didn’t know.
“Do you ever think,” Luca asked his friend, “that if you give someone too much rope ... they might just hang themselves with it?”
Naz lifted his brow and reached for the glass with a mouthful of liquor left in the bottom. He drained
what remained of the whiskey, and then muttered heavily, “All the fucking time, man. All the time.”
4.
Penny
CLICK, click, clack, click, clack, click, click.
Penny blinked, bleary-eyed and still tired, as she climbed down the dark stairwell of the suburban house where she had called home for the last several months. Maybe it had been the trip to her therapist yesterday evening, but she’d had a train of nightmares since falling asleep, and she just wasn’t in the mood to try again.
But what was that sound?
Penny found the source of the late-night noise soon enough. “What are you doing?”
The man on the couch stiffened, and just as quickly, shot a look over his shoulder at her. Reaching up, he was quick to close the laptop he’d been leaning over the coffee table to type on. “Nothing. What are you doing out of bed?”
“Can’t sleep. Usually, when people say nothing they don’t also feel the need to hide their computer screens, you know?”
Penny had a love-slash-hate relationship with the internet, and computers. She was like every sixteen-year-old girl who seemed to find too much self-worth on social media, and that was how she preferred to connect with people she wanted to keep in her life. It was easier than trying in real life because that always ended badly.
She had no friends in her new, private high school. She had a few hundred on her socials.
It just didn’t have to be deep.
But in the same breath, she hated the internet for many reasons. On certain places in the dark web, one could find folders upon folders of photos of her that were up for sale. Ranging from the age of one, up until she was almost thirteen. Those photos had not yet fallen into hands that could distribute them beyond the dark web where it would touch the people in her real life, but it all still felt a little too real to her.
And raw.
Sometimes, her life felt like a time bomb that was constantly ticking down. Someday—maybe—those photos would find their way out into the world. Penny wasn’t fucking stupid, she knew how horrible people could be. They wouldn’t care that she was a child trafficking victim. They wouldn’t care that those photos were proof of her sexual abuse. All they would see, for the slightly older ones, were a young girl showing her body to a camera.