“Oh, Thomas, you’re so understanding.”
Glancing at the hand she had placed high up on his thigh Chilton hid his triumphant smile. “I’ll admit that hurt, kept me blind for a while, but then I saw that you were only a victim.”
“That’s it exactly, Thomas. Can you ever forgive me my foolishness?”
“Of course,” he murmured. “I only turned to Emily out of loneliness you know.”
“Oh, Thomas, she could never give you what I can. Never.”
Recalling a parasol being broken over his head one of the few times he had tried to touch Emily, Chilton was able to be fully honest for the first time. “No, love, she couldn’t.”
He smiled to himself when her hand stroked the proof of his desire. It had been a lot easier than he had thought it would be. Catrina was clearly too vain to doubt him.
After a few more pats to her badly bruised vanity, he got the reward he sought. Resting his head on the back of the settee he fondled her full breasts as she skillfully worked to arouse him. He wondered if he could make Dorothy do the same and smiled. It could well be that he would spend one very warm winter this year.
Chapter Seventeen
Removing her shoes, Emily walked over to the mirror to unpin her hair. She was feeling decidedly tipsy after all the champagne she had had to drink at supper, but she was also feeling depressed. Try as she would, she could not dismiss Catrina’s words from her mind. They had cut too deeply to be completely discarded. She had salted every open wound.
When she heard the door open and shut she concentrated on her hair. She needed to compose herself before she faced Cloud. Listening to him moving around around behind her, obviously undressing, made that a little difficult. She started when he suddenly appeared in the mirror bare-chested and frowning.
“It’s not Harper,” he growled, snatching the brush from her hand and starting to brush her hair.
“I beg your pardon?” she said weakly, not sure of how much he had guessed.
“You heard me. I said it’s not Harper that’s kept you quiet all through supper.”
“Perhaps I just don’t like talking with my mouth full.”
He put the brush down with a snap. “Emily, I know something’s eating at you. What is it?” Following her when she moved to the foot of the bed, held onto the post, and pressed her forehead against the cool wood, he scowled. “I don’t know why, but I think it was something Catrina said, though God knows you’ve been through that nonsense often enough to be used to it by now.”
“All the way here.” She sighed and did not see him grimace.
“So why should it be different this time?”
“The baby,” she murmured and was suddenly turned to face him.
“It bothers you to be carrying my child?”
She winced at the coldness in his voice but felt she understood its cause. “No, Cloud.”
“Then what?” He gave her a little shake. “I’m not a mind reader, you know.”
“It was what she said about you marrying me because of the child.”
“Emily, the only thing that baby had to do with our marriage was to make it a real quick one.”
“Really?” She looked up and felt her spirits rise at the truth in his eyes.
“Really. I told you I got to thinking of a wife and a family almost as soon as I decided to settle down. Not long after we met, I was thinking about how well you’d suit.”
He turned her around and began to skillfully undo her buttons. In no time at all her gown was off and tossed onto a chair. As his skilled fingers moved to her petticoats she could not help remembering how he had gained that skill.
“Well? Let’s have the rest of it,” he demanded when he heard her sigh.
“I know you promised to be faithful but …”
“But what?” He tossed her petticoats onto the chair with her gown.
“All those pretty women,” she faltered.
Picking her up, he took her to the bed and gently laid her down, following her and partly covering her body with his. “I tried my best not to bed an ugly one.”
“I’m trying to be serious.”
“I am serious. After three weeks without you in my bed, I’m dead serious.” He quickly dispensed with her camisole and moved to untie her pantaloons.
The way he was looking at her as he completed her undressing erased all thought from her mind. She shared his hunger. When he had hastily discarded the last of his clothes, she greedily welcomed him back into her arms.
The reunion of their bodies was fierce. There were few preliminaries, their need too strong to endure a wait of any duration. They clung to each other as their bodies found release from frustration, and for a long time after they had ceased to reel from the beauty of it.
“Honey, that’s why I’ll find it easy to be faithful.” He slowly eased the intimacy of their embrace, rolling onto his back with her still held in his arms.
“It’s not always the same?”
“Nope. Some just ease a tension, some are pretty good, and some are fun. This goes beyond words, and you don’t find that everywhere.”
“They all knew what to do.”
“I’ll teach you just like I have been. You know, that’s another reason I married you.”
“Because I was a virgin?” She felt him nod. “But you said men out here didn’t care.”
“Most of them don’t. Still, the hypocrisy’s there. Man spends a lot of time getting as much experience as he can fit in, but he doesn’t appreciate that in a woman. It wouldn’t have mattered if you’d been the widow and mother I first thought you but, hell, I’d be a liar if I said your innocence didn’t matter.
“It’s a good feeling to know that I’ve been the only one. You were mine—are mine—and nobody else’s. Everything you do either comes natural or I’ve taught you. There’s not a man alive who wouldn’t like the feeling that gives him.
“I’ve had more than my share of women. I can’t change that. Hell, I began to feel downright guilty every time we met another one. Still, I never wanted to marry one of them, never once gave it a thought. It was freely offered and I took it, making no promises. Whatever else they thought or claimed was all in their heads. They gambled that they could change my mind.”
“That was the one part of what Catrina said that I ignored. What was she to Chilton?”
Cloud sighed, but he had been expecting the question. “His fiancée.”
“Oh, dear. So, he feels that twice you have taken what was his.”
“You were never his. As far as Catrina goes, she took a gamble. She tried to hang onto Chilton even while she played games with me. Discretion was not one or her skills and he caught us. When he broke the engagement, she wasn’t upset until she was made to see that, while I was willing to fill Chilton’s spot in her bed now and again, I wasn’t about to walk in his steps down the aisle.”
“Can he hurt you, Cloud?”
“Nope. That was all air, honey. There’s not a string attached to me that he can pull. I may not have much, but I own every bit of it, lock, stock and barrel.” He gently moved his hand down to her stomach. “Think I can feel the baby yet?”
“I’m not sure. I can feel him. He feels like I swallowed a live fish sometimes.” She slowly moved her hand over his broad chest. “Will this be enough to keep you happy? A baby and a warm bed?”
“It’s more than that, Em. I like you and I trust you. I can’t think of a single woman I’ve known, outside of family, that I could say that about. On the trip here I was with you day and night far more than I was ever with any of the women you met and not once was I bored or aching to get the hell away from you. We get along, little one, and that’s damned important.”
“How could you—well, you know, if you didn’t like or trust them?”
“Man doesn’t need either to bed a woman, just a soft bed and an itch.”
She blushed, then groaned. Rolling away from him, she hid her face in the pillow. A moment later she lift
ed her head to stare wide-eyed at his grinning face.
“I am a puritan. Look at that, a perfectly reasonable statement …”
“Reasonable, hell. It was outrageous even for a husband to say to his wife.”
“Then why’d you say it?” she demanded a little crossly.
“To make you do just what you did. Look, Em, that little touch of puritan is what makes you Emily. A little modesty’s a good thing. You’ve got a good sense of what should be private. It’s also that morality that helps me trust you. I know you won’t go bedding some other man.”
“That would be adultery,” she gasped, then scowled when he grinned. “Wretch.”
“Most likely.”
“I should make you pay for that.”
“Oh? Just how do you plan to do that?”
Lunging for his feet, she said, “Tickle you.”
Wolfe and James paused in their quiet advance toward their rooms. A few footsteps would never be heard over the laughter and squeals coming from Cloud’s room. James was fairly used to it, but Wolfe could not recall Cloud carrying on so since before the war.
“Sure sounds like they’re enjoing themselves,” Wolfe drawled as they stepped into James’s room.
“They usually do.” James poured them each a brandy, then lounged on his bed.
“You traveled with them. Think he loves her?”
“Well, if he don’t, he cares as much for her as he’ll ever care for any woman. Truth is, I feel deep down that he does. He just doesn’t see it clear yet. Or doesn’t want to.”
“That could be. Cloud got his cynicism at an early age. Too many unfaithful wives maybe.”
“Could be. I’ve known him five years, but when I set out with him, Emily, and the boy, I felt like I was getting to know him all over again. She’ll be good for him, keep him from getting too hard, too cynical.”
“Hope so. Well, whatever else, Cloud’s a firm believer in marriage and family. He’ll be working hard to make it good.” Wolfe raised his glass. “Here’s to his success at it.”
When Cloud woke up, he lay watching Emily sleep. Now that he had taken that irrevocable step and had a family well started, he intended to build a union as sound as the one his parents had had. He found he wanted that same sense of permanence and comfort afforded by a partner who shared good and bad equally.
He gently placed his hand on her belly, then moved it over her thickening waist. He felt the slight quickening that told him their forming child was alive. It gave him a feeling he would have been hard put to describe. One thing he was sure of was that he already wished the waiting over.
Suddenly, he looked up to catch Emily’s sleepy gaze on him and he smiled. She was looking decidedly tossled, but he thought she was beautiful. Somehow he sensed that he would think so for a very long time. He fancifully mused on how she might look in fifteen years time.
“You are looking at me in a rather strange way.”
“I was trying to picture how you’re going to look when you start getting on in years, darlin'.”
“Oh, charming,” she groaned. “Most likely a little gray, a little wrinkled, and my hourglass figure’s sands will have shifted.” She responded to his chuckle with a little smile.
“What do you think I’ll look like in fifteen years or so?”
“Well, I suspect the hair will be the first thing to go.”
“Yeah?” He could not suppress the urge to touch his thick head of hair.
“Yes. Then, of course, the waistline begins to be not so taut.” She patted that area, then held her hand over his groin. “Certain things will begin to sag, get a little less firm, like your chin.” She patted his chin and giggled softly at his mock scowl.
“Witch.” He pulled her lightly into his arms.
“Cloud? Are you happy about the baby?” she asked quietly.
“Yeah, I am. It makes me feel, hell, I can’t describe it. I’m damn glad I didn’t exercise my usual caution. It’s going to be hard as hell to wait until spring. I want my child now. Excuse me, our child.”
“Much better. I’m eager too, and not only because I’m doing the carrying. The minute I knew I was with child, I wanted to know whether it was a boy or a girl, what color hair, what color eyes. What name.”
“Ah, yes. There’s that to think on.”
“If this is a boy I thought to name him after you, but I decided that one of you was quite enough.”
“I’ll choose to take that as a compliment.”
“Might be best,” she murmured with a soft laugh she could not quite suppress.
“Now, a name. Horace? Wilbur? No? How about Hubert?” He laughed as she groaned louder with each suggestion. “Well, do you have any suggestions?”
“Maybe Algernon. That groan sounds like disapproval. How about Mortimer? Guess not.” She giggled when he swore softly. “Zebulon? Archibald? Charlemagne? Galahad? Launcelot?”
“Enough. I declare you the winner.”
“Why, thank you kindly. Actually, I thought it might be nice to carry on what seems to be a tradition.”
“Ah, you mean think of names that go with Ryder like Cloud, Wolfe, Thunder and Skye.”
“Yes. There must be some left. Of course we could always consider Llewellyn.”
“Consider it forgotten, young lady.”
“Your wish is my command.” She saw the light in his eyes and hastily added, “Forget I said that.”
“Shame. I had a few good wishes to make.”
“I shudder at the thought. Do you realize we’ve thought of no girl’s name?”
“How about Cordelia?” He failed to fully disguise the laughter in his voice.
“How about I do you a severe personal injury?”
“Bloodthirsty wench.” He smoothed his hand over her back. “God, you feel good. I never spent a whole night with a woman before I met you. I sorely missed you in my bed after I left you at Harper’s.”
“Why didn’t you ever spend a whole night with a woman before?”
“Don’t know, really. It gave them ideas, I couldn’t stand the closeness. A lot of reasons.”
She thought on that for a moment, idly toying with the light hair low on his stomach. In the cuddling that came after the lovemaking, there was a deepening of the intimacy they shared. It was quite possibly enough to make à woman think more than he wanted her to. She was very glad that he had not indulged in the habit of a speedy retreat with her. It would have truly made her feel a whore and nothing more.
“I sorely missed you as well,” she said quietly and felt his hold on her tighten slightly.
Cloud suddenly found himself with several concerns. His mind had been fully taken up with making her legally his, with putting his name on her and the child she carried. Now, other thoughts began to creep into his mind.
Despite her fortitude and ability to adjust, there was no ignoring the fact that she was used to a far different life than he was offering. Lockridge was no Boston and would not be for many a year, if ever. It had neither the society nor the comforts she had grown up with. Although she seemed to have lived on the fringes of all that for several years, even the fringes were more than he could offer her.
Until he got a firm start, things would be rough. He was starting from scratch with a bare piece of land and a little else. What money he had would be needed to get that start.
“There won’t be any pretty dresses for a while.”
His abrupt statement startled her. “I think I can survive the deprivation.” She frowned then, sensing that something was troubling him. “Every one of my meager supply of pretty dresses is a Carolynn cast-off, Cloud.” She began to trail kisses down to his chest. “I have very simple needs and wants.”
“That’s good because all I’ve got right now is some money and a nice piece of land and plans.” His hands tightened in her hair as her lips and tongue played over his nipples and he found it nearly impossible to think of the problems that had just crowded his mind. “None of them can come toge
ther ‘til spring.”
“By then I will have had the baby and can be of some help to you.”
She smiled a little as she drew idle designs low on his abdomen with her tongue. It was a little strange to hear Cloud voicing what could only be termed insecurities. As she moved her kisses to his taut thighs, she decided that it was her duty as his wife to take his mind off of such insignificant worries. Moving her hand to the juncture of his thighs she decided that she must be doing a good job of that.
He watched her, tried to recall what he had been talking about, and failed. All he could think of was his need and what he tensely waited for her to do. Patience never having been one of his virtues, he tangled his hands in her thick hair and hinted her kisses towards the spot that so ached for them.
When she took the hint, her hands slipping beneath his backside to knead and caress him, he shuddered with pleasure. She seemed to have an innate skill, setting him aflame with her flickering, stroking tongue and soft warm lips. He struggled to maintain control, to savor the delights she gave him.
Emily found yet again that pleasuring Cloud set her blood running hot. His hips rose ever so slightly, moving in a gentle, silent request. She trembled along with him as she answered that request, his hoarse words of enjoyment sending shivers down her spine.
“God, Em, no more,” he groaned at last, pulling her up his body and into his arms.
Skillfully, despite his body’s trembling need, he set her upon him. He watched, moving his hands up her body to cup her breasts, as she moved with a tantalizing slowness. It did not last long. Soon he was urging her to match the ferocity of the desire she had stirred in him. They found release within a heartbeat of each other, Emily collapsing into his ready arms.
“Ah, little Em,” he whispered when he found the strength, “I don’t know how it can, but I swear it just keeps getting better.”
“I’ll be a good wife to you, Cloud,” she said.
“I know you will, sweets, and this is going to be a damn good marriage, one as good as my folks had.” He spoke in a low voice, making the statement a vow.
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